THE 4:00 AM 'LIZBETH by Jonathan Calindas Contact: Jonathan Calindas (908) 352-7956 jvcalin@hotmail.com Characters: Eddie Male, 20 Jay Male, 21 Jerry Male, 21 (The play takes place in a section of the now abandoned Central Railroad line that runs across Elizabeth, New Jersey. The section is enclosed by trees and evokes a feeling of being in the middle of a forest, yet beyond those trees are the concrete sidewalks, the streetlights, and the sound of cars passing. When the lights come up, Eddie is taking pictures with a cheap camera. There is a case of beer sitting somewhere. Jay is brooding over a beer.) EDDIE: Yo Jay, what time ya got? Jay, what time ya got? JAY: Leave me alone. EDDIE: Come on... JAY: I don't know. EDDIE: Look at your watch. (Eddie takes a picture.) JAY: Will you quit taking those fucking pictures? EDDIE: But I need them for my scrapbook. JAY: Well go take pictures somewhere else. EDDIE: I need someone to be in it. JAY: Why? EDDIE: 'cause then it will look like a fucking postcard if there's nobody there. JAY: What? EDDIE: A fucking postcard. It will look like a fucking postcard. JAY: Well you ain't taking pictures of me all night. EDDIE: (Aiming his camera.) Jay Perez. October 17, 1996. Time: "Leave me alone" JAY: Eddie, if you don't fucking stop that... (Eddie takes the picture.) You fucking... (Jay chases him around.) You're gonna find that thing up your ass. EDDIE: Ok... that was the last one... (He takes a picture of himself. He stares down the length of the track.) EDDIE: Remember that story Jerry wrote about this place? You know, the one about the 4:00 AM 'Lizbeth? That story Jerry won that contest with? The one he got from his grandmother? JAY: Uh huh. EDDIE: Jerry used to write the best fucking stories. Remember? JAY: No. EDDIE: Yeah you do. It happened sometime in the twenties. It was snowing real hard, and this train was coming into 'Lizbeth at 4 AM. This worker was supposed to pull this switch so the train could go into the station, but he got drunk, and he forgot which way the train was supposed to go, and he saw the light of the 4:00 AM 'Lizbeth coming toward him, so he crossed his fingers and pulled the switch and the train passed to the left. But it was the wrong way. They hadn't de- iced that part of the tracks and the train derailed, killing like twenty three people. JAY: Uh huh. EDDIE: The worker got fired, but he became so guilty over the whole thing. It messed up his entire life. He started to drink even more and he would stay on these tracks all night, calling for the train to get him. One night, he went out, and never came back. He just disappeared. It's as if the 4:00 AM 'Lizbeth actually came and took him. And Jerry's grandmother said that people who lived nearby could hear it pass at 4:00. She said every time it passes by, it takes someone with it. JAY: No shit. EDDIE: And that's why nobody uses this line anymore, but no-one wants to tear it out neither. They just built everything around it. JAY: And to think this was just a place for us to drink beer without getting into trouble. EDDIE: Yeah... I remember. Jerry's uncle, Jack, would make us give him five bucks to go buy beer for us, and we'd come up here and get wasted. (Pause) I called Jerry the other day. JAY: And? EDDIE: Nothing much... I asked him what was up. How was he doing... I told him we still come here every Friday night to hang, and if he wanted, I said he should start hanging with us again. JAY: What'd he say? EDDIE: He don't feel like it. You think he's all right? JAY: No. EDDIE: I mean, when his father got into that accident he said he had to take care of his father and... well his father finally died like a month ago and... he still ain't talking to any one of us. JAY: I guess it takes more than a month. EDDIE: I guess... (Pause. They watch the stars as they drink their beer.) You know what would be cool? If we could hop on a rental van and just drive across the country. You know, see the world. JAY: Gina always wanted to do that. She said I never take her out. She wanted to go to like Virginia or Florida. That was her big dream. EDDIE: So let's do it... it'll be so fucking cool. JAY: Man, we ain't got the money to do something like that. EDDIE: If Gina wants to go... I could cash all my savings bonds, I mean, it's not like I'm gonna need it anymore... JAY: She doesn't wanna go. EDDIE: But you said... JAY: Look, she doesn't wanna go alright? Trust me, she doesn't wanna go. EDDIE: Ok... sheesh! Probably had another fight with her tonight. JAY: Shut up! EDDIE: Ok! (Pause. Eddie goes into his bookbag and pulls out a football, and tosses it to Jay.) I was cleaning out my closet the other day, and look what I found. JAY: Oh shit. EDDIE: Remember that? JAY: It's the old football we used to play with. So it was with you the whole time. EDDIE: Hey, no-one really asked for it. You got a new one when you and Jerry joined the team, but this one... this one was special, 'cause we had this ball since we were like six. JAY: Yeah. We were crazy about football back then. EDDIE: Man, we had some fucking good times here. You, me, Jerry,... even Alvin... remember when he used to hang with us. We'd toss around a football, and Jerry would practice his mile long throw and you, Mr. Running Back Guy, would run down the track trying to outrun the football, while Alvin would try to get the rocks out of his shoes. (Pause) Yeah, we had some fucking good times here. (Pause) Wonder how Alvin's doing now. JAY: Jerking off at Rutgers. EDDIE: No, didn't he go to Princeton. JAY: He went to Rutgers. EDDIE: No, last time I saw him he said he was going to Princeton. JAY: He didn't get into Princeton. EDDIE: Princeton turned him down. JAY: Yeah. EDDIE: Bullshit, he was number one in our class. JAY: Princeton didn't take him. EDDIE: Fuck, man, the guy was a genius. JAY: So? EDDIE: What do you mean, "so"? JAY: Why are you getting all riled up about it? EDDIE: I'm not... it's just...I don't know. I just thought he went to Princeton. (Pause. He stares down the length of the track.) Remember that time we scared the shit outta him? Jerry said the 4:00 AM 'Lizbeth was gonna come that night... and we all snuck out of bed to come here... Jerry came up behind Alvin with a whistle and blew it. Man, I will never forget the look on Alvin's face. And then that homeless guy appeared and we thought it was the ghost of that switch worker and we all ran. That was so funny. Alvin wet his pants... JAY: He never hung out with us after that. EDDIE: I know. (He stares down the track again.) JAY: 3:05. EDDIE: What? JAY: It's 3:05. EDDIE: Oh. You think maybe it'll come tonight? JAY: What? EDDIE: The 4:00 am 'Lizbeth. JAY: Yeah. EDDIE: Seriously. JAY: Yeah. (They hear a noise.) EDDIE: Hello? JAY: Who's there? JERRY: It's me. EDDIE: Jerry! You scared the shit outta me. JERRY: Waiting for the train again? EDDIE: How'd you know? JERRY: I could hear your fucking voice three blocks away. (Pause) Could you guys spare a beer? EDDIE: Only if you buy next time. (Pause) JERRY: Deal. JAY: Long time no see. JERRY: Yeah. JAY: How ya holding up? JERRY: I'm fine. JAY: How's your mom doing? JERRY: Ok. JAY: Your sister? JERRY: Minnie's fine. JAY: That's good. EDDIE: Hey, I'm glad you're here, man. JERRY: Thanks. EDDIE: How's that new apartment working out? JERRY: Fine. EDDIE: Good. JAY: Your mom's not upset that you moved out? JERRY: Listen, I got a call from Gina. She was all upset, she said you guys had a fight and you fucking stormed out. She asked me to make sure you got home safely. JAY: She fucking called you? I don't believe this. Well, what you tell her? JERRY: I said I would. JAY: And that's why you're here. JERRY: Yeah. JAY: I don't need no fucking baby-sitter. JERRY: What the fuck do you think you're doing? JAY: Excuse me? JERRY: What do you think you're doing? JAY: I'm hanging out. Why've I always gotta be doing something to somebody? Can't a guy just drink and chill out for a while? JERRY: You can't be doing this anymore. You got the baby to think about now. JAY: She told you about the baby? EDDIE: What baby? JERRY: Yes. She told me about your baby. JAY: Hey, fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are? EDDIE: Shit. JERRY: How could you just leave Gina there, she's like crying her eyes out. She's wondering where the fuck you are, and what the fuck is happening with you. JAY: Hey, I don't need no fucking preacher telling me what's right and what's wrong, alright? I ain't see you for like four months, and the first time I see you, you fucking give me a lecture on things I already know! Who the fuck do you think you are, thinking you're better than me? JERRY: Look, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to come at you like that... JAY: Well, you did, motherfucker. JERRY: Look, man, Gina is at home, all upset, ready to kill herself, and you're over here drinking... I mean, how am I supposed to take that? Huh? How else am I supposed to say it? Is this the way you're gonna be a father to your baby? JAY: Hey, how the fuck do you know what kind of father I'm gonna be to my baby? What business is it of yours anyway? JERRY: I don't want Gina hurt. JAY: Since when did you care so much for Gina? JERRY: I've always cared for Gina. JAY: Oh really? JERRY: Since the first grade. She's like a sister to me and I don't want her hurt. JAY: Well, maybe you should go marry Gina. JERRY: Well, yes, maybe I should. But she doesn't love me, she loves you. You've got a woman that loves you. There ain't too many guys who have that. JAY: I know that. Don't you think I know that? JERRY: Then what are you gonna do about it? JAY: I don't know. I don't know, alright? I don't fucking know what I'm gonna do about it. I ain't ready to be no father. Is that what you wanted to hear? Well, you heard it, I ain't ready to be no fucking father. JERRY: And so what about Gina? JAY: I don't know. I'm a fucking asshole. I'm fucking loser who just lost his third job this month, and is a fucking alcoholic. And you, well, Gina told me you just got a fucking promotion in your job. Hell, she wants me to ask you for a job. Look at you. You're the one who's ready to be a father. You're the fucking sensitive type. You're the one she talks to in the middle of the night when she's in trouble. Hell, maybe the baby ain't even mine! Why don't you take care of the baby? That baby won't need anything in its life...except maybe a grandfather. JERRY: Hey, fuck you. EDDIE: You guys... come on. JAY: But of course, you'll more than make up for that... I mean, it's not like he would have had any time to spend with the baby anyway. JERRY: Fuck you! FUCK YOU! Leave my father outta this. You've got no idea what's going with me and my father, so just fuck off. I was trying to a be friend... JAY: Well, you've got no idea what's going on with me and Gina. No fucking idea. You ain't got no fucking right preaching to me about what I gotta do. So YOU fuck off! (Jerry's cellphone suddenly rings.) What the fuck is that? JERRY: (Answering it.) Hello? JAY: He's got a fucking cellphone. JERRY: (On the cellphone.) Hello?... Minnie, what's wrong?... Why, what happened?... Oh, come on... not again... What happened this time?... She can't find her wedding ring?... What do you need me home for?... I'm at home... I can't go over there for every little thing!... Minnie... Minnie! ... Just tell her to calm down... Ok, I will, I'll go over there... Ok! I will!... Ok!... Ok... Ok... bye. (He hangs up. There is a moment of awkward silence.) EDDIE: Is everything ok? JERRY: Yes, everything's fine. EDDIE: Sure? JERRY: Yeah. EDDIE: Here, have a beer. (Tosses Jerry one. Eddie has one himself.) JERRY: Thanks. EDDIE: Hey, Jerry. JERRY: What? EDDIE: I haven't seen him in a long time. Whatever happened to your Uncle Jack? JERRY: He's in jail . EDDIE: Are you serious? For what? JERRY: Drugs. EDDIE: Heh. Wow. He was cool though. He was "groovy". Writing, peace songs, poetry. Performing in nightclubs. JERRY: He was a fucking fag. EDDIE: Well, yeah. That goes without saying. Him and his flower tee- shirts, and his beads, and his... JERRY: So, Eddie, how's school? EDDIE: School? Oh... well, I took a lot of extra courses this summer, I'm graduating a semester early, this December. JERRY: Really? EDDIE: Yeah, an Associates in Computer programming from Union County College. JERRY: Congratulations. EDDIE: Thanks. JERRY: That's great Eddie. EDDIE: And you know, after I graduate, you, me, and Jay could go cross country. Drive to California and back. I think that would be awesome. JERRY: Yeah. That would. EDDIE: Think of it... the mountains, the deserts. We could go by Green Bay and try to see a Packers game... Yellowstone, Mount Rushmore, Old Faithful... JERRY: Uh huh. EDDIE: What do you say? JERRY: I work. EDDIE: Can't you get time off? JERRY: No. EDDIE: That's too bad. (He takes a picture.) JERRY: What the fuck are you doing? EDDIE: I'm taking a picture. JERRY: Why? EDDIE: Nothing, it's just for a scrapbook I'm putting together. JERRY: Since when you start putting together a scrapbook? EDDIE: I just wanna do it. JERRY: Why? EDDIE: Nothing. I just wanna do it. JERRY: Well, cut it out with the pictures, you're giving me the fucking creeps. (Jay tosses Jerry the football) JAY: Hey, Jerry, catch. (Jerry catches it.) Remember that? JERRY: Hey, yeah, I remember this. Where the fuck did you get this from? JAY: Eddie found it in his closet. JERRY: You're kidding. JAY: Lets see that spiral. JERRY: Go long. (Jay catches the ball and runs down the track with it till he goes offstage.) Hey, Jay, where the fuck are you going? (Jerry and Eddie watch as Jay runs down the track further and further away from them.) Jay! Where the fuck is he going? EDDIE: I don't know. JERRY: (Playful) Fucking asshole. EDDIE: Hey, Jerry, what time is it? JERRY: Almost 3:30, why? EDDIE: Half an hour till the 4:00 AM 'Lizbeth gets here. JERRY: Oh, yeah. 31 minutes to be exact. EDDIE: That was a fucking good story, man. I mean, when you won that contest, you were the talk of the entire school. JERRY: Yeah. EDDIE: Why didn't you keep writing? JERRY: I didn't like it. EDDIE: Man, you could've been famous. JERRY: No, I wouldn't have been famous. It was just a fucking story. EDDIE: But you should've at least tried. I mean, it's better than driving trucks all day. You could've gone to college or something, and gotten better at it. JERRY: No. EDDIE: Why not? JERRY: Look, it was my father, alright? EDDIE: What about your father? JERRY: He didn't want me to do it. EDDIE: You shouldn't let your father run your life. He can't make that kind of decision for you. (During this, Jay returns, out of breath, and overhears this.) JERRY: When my mother showed him that I won that contest, I was in my room, and I thought he could come through that door and congratulate me. Tell me he was proud of his son. He came through that door and started to beat me... he told me he wasn't going to let me become a fag and he beat me some more while my mother stood helplessly at the door screaming, begging him to stop. What was I supposed to do? (Jerry sees Jay) JAY: What the fuck are you guys talking about? JERRY: Nothing. JAY: Fuck, I haven't run like that in a long time. I'm outta shape. JERRY: You're telling me. JAY: Speak for yourself, Gatorade boy. JERRY: Hey, it wasn't my fault there was a quarterback better than me. JAY: Yes it was. JERRY: Oh please. (Pause. They drink and stare into the sky as Eddie stares down the length of the track.) JERRY: Man, I haven't had one a' these since the last time I was here. JAY: Get the fuck outta here. JERRY: I'm serious. JAY: As serious as Eddie. EDDIE: What? JERRY: I haven't. Four months. JAY: How do you go without beer for four months? JERRY: Ain't got no woman. JAY: Fuck, you ain't ever got no woman. JERRY: See what I mean? JAY: That's cause you a fucking fag. JERRY: A what? JAY: A fucking fag. JERRY: Oh please. Just because I don't think with my dick don't mean I'm a fag. JAY: Yeah it does. JERRY: Eddie ain't got no woman. EDDIE: Hey. JERRY: You eyeing me up man? EDDIE: Shut up. I ain't no fag. JAY: Hey, leave the guy alone. JERRY: (Falsetto) I ain't no fag. EDDIE: Fuck you! JERRY: Wouldn't you like to try. EDDIE: SHUT UP! YOU FUCKING DICK. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! JERRY: Calm down, Eddie. You know I'm just playing with you. What the fuck is wrong with you? EDDIE: I ain't no fag. JERRY: Alright. You ain't no fag. You used to go out with that girl, what was her name, Charlene? JAY: Jerry... EDDIE: I gotta piss. JERRY: What? EDDIE: I gotta piss. JERRY: Alright. (Eddie exits.) What the fuck is wrong with him? JAY: You don't know, do you? JERRY: Don't know what? JAY: Shit. JERRY: What? JAY: Eddie, he's... JERRY: Gay? JAY: No, man, listen to me. JERRY: What? JAY: Charlene's dead. She died last month. JERRY: She died? What did she die of? JAY: She... (He hesitates. Eddie interrupts.) EDDIE: (Offstage) Shit! JERRY: What? EDDIE: Aw, shit! JERRY: What? EDDIE: I stepped on shit! JERRY: (Laughing) Eddie... you're a fucking asshole, you know that? EDDIE: (Re-entering) Shut up. JERRY: You stay away from me. EDDIE: I wiped it off! JERRY: I don't care. You stay the fuck away from me. EDDIE: Come on. It don't stink. JERRY: You sit over there. EDDIE: You guys suck. (Sits away from them) Can you guys at least pass me a beer? JAY: Here. EDDIE: Thanks. (Pause) What time is it? JAY: 3:45. (Pause. Jerry takes out his cellphone and punches out a number.) JERRY: Hello... Gina? It's Jerry. Yes, I found him. I took him home. Yes, he's OK. No, he's not here, I'm at home now. You two talk about it in the morning, alright? Go to bed. Get some sleep Gina. OK. OK. Bye. (Puts away the cellphone. Pause) I figured you didn't want to talk to her right now. JAY: No. JERRY: OK. (Pause) Y'all aren't leaving anytime soon and I didn't want her up all night. (Pause) Jay, you know I could get you a job with me at Greenview Trucking. JAY: Yeah? JERRY: Yeah. We have to train you for a while... you know, get a CDL, you just have to make a commitment. JAY: A commitment. JERRY: Yeah, you can't get tired of it an quit like your other jobs, you have to stay with us... for a while, at least. JAY: Let me think about it. JERRY: What's there to think about? You need this job. JAY: Hey look, I said I'll think about it, alright? JERRY: Alright. (Pause.) Gina'll have to leave Rutgers College... at least for a year. JAY: What? JERRY: She'll have to quit school. JAY: Oh... yeah. I feel like this is a dream and I'll just wake up. Haven't you had that happen to you? You dream that something happens that fucks up your life and you're all pissed and then you wake up and none of that shit ever happened. JERRY: Jay, this is fucking real. Grow the fuck up. JAY: Shut up, alright? Just shut up. Leave me the fuck alone already. Let me think about it. I just need some time alone to think about it. JERRY: (Pause, as Jerry hesitates with what he is going to say.) I gave the eulogy at my father's wake. I said things about how he loved his family and how dedicated he was to his job and everyone thought it was beautiful and how lucky he was to have a son that loved his father. I looked at my mother and sister and it tore me apart to see them so sad. But when I thought about my father... I mean... I told myself he was gone... my father was dead... I tried to feel something... but I didn't. That's the kind of son I became. His whole life was invalidated because I failed to love him. Whether you're there or not, Gina is going to have that baby. The question is, is that baby going to love its father? (Pause) JAY: Four and a half months. JERRY: What? JAY: Four and a half months... she's been carrying it for Four and a half months. And she told me tonight. It's too late for an abortion. JERRY: You're going to have her abort? JAY: No... No, I'm not gonna have her abort. (Pause) She told her parents first before me. When I came in to see here, they just glared at me as I passed by. And she asked me up to her room and she closed the door and said, "Jay, I'm pregnant." Just like that. From outta nowhere. She had known for like two months. I don't know what happened. I couldn't breathe, my eyes suddenly got dark... I just had to get outta there... Her father tried to stop me as I left... "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"... I just kept going... So now they think I'm one of those fuckheads who run around making girls pregnant and abandoning them. (Pause) JERRY: But you ain't. JAY: No. I guess I ain't. (Pause.) EDDIE: (With the football) Hey, you guys remember when we all joined the middle school football team? Man, that was a funny experience. JAY: Funny for you. EDDIE: Well, yeah. I mean, I sucked. JAY: Yeah, you sucked. EDDIE: Jerry's father tried to teach us all how to play. And I kept getting hit in the head. JAY: Yeah. EDDIE: He was so cool, trying to teach us to play. Remember when Jerry finally got to play in a game, and he threw that hail mary pass that just never made it? That was funny... after the game, Jerry felt so bad 'cause everyone was making fun of him... I mean, his dad just went off on him... JERRY: Yeah, well, I don't have a dad like yours, ok? EDDIE: I'm sorry, man. JERRY: Don't be sorry. I'm not sorry. My father hated me. I wasn't man enough for him. He never did anything for me. He only made things difficult. EDDIE: That's terrible, man. JERRY: No, that's life. Eddie, get the fuck outta that shell a' yours cause life is a bitch. You gotta fucking grow up. EDDIE: Jerry, man, don't lay this out on me. JERRY: Fuck, man! Grow the fuck up! You and your cross country and your fucking scrapbook... you can't take any fucking thing seriously. Life's been good to you man, you ain't got no fucking problems in your life. EDDIE: Hey, don't you fucking tell me that life's been fair to me! You ain't the only one with problems in this world, so just shut the fuck up, alright? JERRY: Yeah right. The worst thing that ever happened to you is a bad grade on your midterm. EDDIE: Shut up, man. JUST SHUT UP! You don't know nothing. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! JERRY: Oooh, I think I hurt his feelings. JAY: Shut up, man. Shut the fuck up! JERRY: Well, it's fucking true! JAY: No, it's not. Just leave the guy alone, alright? JERRY: Why? JAY: Why?... Because... JERRY: Why, because that girl, Charlene... JAY: Charlene had AIDS. JERRY: Yeah, so? JAY: So does Eddie. (Silence.) JERRY: What? (Jerry's cellphone rings. He answers.) Hello? Mama... what are you doing still up?... I'm ok Ma... Yes, I know I said I'd go over there, but...Ma... Ma stop it!... Stop it already!... I'm sorry... I'm sorry Ma, it's just... I'm at home, Ma... I was gonna call... I thought you were asleep... No, Ma, I love you... Ma... Ma... are you ok? Is Minnie there? She'll take care a' you. You'll find it Ma... I'll help you look for it tomorrow...It's probably under a pillow or something... You know I'm always here, Ma. I'm here. I won't leave you. I'll always be here... I know... I know... I'll be there... I'll be there... ok?... Ma, I'll just change and I'll go over there... Ok!... Ok... ok... ok... ok... ok... bye. (He hangs up. There is a pause, then he suddenly erupts, kicking and punching everything he can.) JERRY: Shit. Shit! SHIT! EDDIE: Jerry... JERRY: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!! JAY: Jerry, calm the fuck down! JERRY: SHIT!!!!!!!! JAY: Jerry! (Jerry uses up all his energy. He breaks down between the two rails.) JERRY: Shit. EDDIE: Jerry. (Neither one has the courage to come up to him. They just sit and drink beer.) Jerry? (Pause) Jerry, there's this story I'm writing. JERRY: What? EDDIE: I'm writing this story. I want you to read it. JERRY: You're writing a story. EDDIE: Yeah. There's like a bridge over a large river, but there's a large gap in the middle. And there are these three pedestrians: a voiceless pedestrian, a heartbroken pedestrian, and a pedestrian with baggage. JERRY: Huh? EDDIE: Well, they wonder what to do and they argue about how they're gonna cross. The voiceless pedestrian catches the flu and turns around to go home. The pedestrian with baggage throws his baggage over the gap to the other side and then makes a running start and jumps over the gap and goes on his way. JERRY: And the heartbroken pedestrian? EDDIE: I don't know. He figures he could probably jump across but he can't do it while carrying the body of his dead girlfriend. JERRY: What? EDDIE: His dead girlfriend. No matter how hard he tries, he can't get himself to leave her behind. JERRY: Why not? She's dead. EDDIE: That's the point. He's standing over the gap, and he has to make the decision. Does he leave his girlfriend behind and go on with his life? Or does he turn around and follow the voiceless pedestrian with the flu home? Or does he fall into the gap? JERRY: So he has to make the decision. EDDIE: Yeah. JERRY: So, he has to decide whether he wants to live his happy life on the other end of the bridge, but he has to leave his dead girlfriend behind. EDDIE: Exactly. JERRY: And the pedestrian with baggage... EDDIE: The pedestrian with baggage has no other choice but to carry the baggage with him. He doesn't know it, yet, but his entire life is in his baggage. But he will... I know he will. JERRY: And the voiceless pedestrian... why did he get the flu? EDDIE: Just unlucky, I guess... now he's unable to get across the bridge, even if he wanted to. JERRY: Why not? EDDIE: Because... JAY: What the fuck are you guys talking about? EDDIE: Pedestrians. JERRY: Getting over a bridge. JAY: Ok. (Pause) JERRY: If I scored that touchdown on the team my father would've been so proud of me. He never cared if I got A's and B's, all he cared about was whether I could drink beer and swear and pick up any girl I wanted and... I disappointed him big time. But I really wanted to make him proud. I never did. I could be in college right now, but my father never saw that. He never did well in school, and he couldn't see what good Algebra and English and Biology were... he couldn't see me going to college and making it... he wanted me to stay home and work to take care of my mother and sister. He was like that. You see his father was a bum, who used to beat him up and get drunk a lot. Then his brother Jack went on to college and joined the peace marches and wrote peace songs and wore flowers and got hooked on LSD. He didn't want me to become like that. He wanted the best for me. (Pause) JAY: Jerry. Remember when we were like twelve and your Uncle Jack promised to take us to Action World? And we were all psyched up to go, and then we found him passed out in his apartment. And your Dad took off of work and took us. I remember when we went on the roller coaster. You didn't want to sit with him, you went to sit with Eddie, so I sat with your father. I was so fucking scared so he put his arm around me and he said everything was gonna be ok, and for some strange reason, I wasn't as scared anymore. JERRY: Yeah... I remember. JAY: (Picks up the football and tosses it to Jerry) Hey, catch. (He catches it. They toss the football back and forth.) EDDIE: (He is starting to doze off.) I wonder what Alvin's doing right now. He used to hang with us. That kid was so fucking smart. He's gonna win a Nobel Prize or something, you just watch. The kid was the smartest guy I've ever known. He's gonna get himself a million dollar job, and a good wife, and a big house with a Lamborghini and a Porsche, and three shiny dogs, and sons who will also become Nobel Prize winners. JERRY: Yeah, Eddie. That guy was so fucking smart. Probably kicking ass down there in Princeton. EDDIE: Yeah. (Pause) You know what I'm gonna do? When I graduate, I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna go cross country. On my own. JERRY: Eddie... EDDIE: No, man... it's something I gotta do. You guys know what you gotta do. Me, this is what I gotta do. You know where I wanna go? I wanna go to the grand canyon. I don't know why, I just wanna go there. It's so big and open and... I don't know, I just wanna go there. JAY: That's cool, Eddie. EDDIE: Yeah. Yeah... that would be so fucking cool. (Pause) JAY: Eduardo Perez. JERRY: What? JAY: Eduardo Jeremiah Perez. JERRY: Ew, that's stupid. JAY: Jason Eduardo Jeremiah Perez... Junior. Yeah... that sounds about right. JERRY: What if it's a girl? JAY: Jasona Eduarda Jeremiah Perez. JERRY: She'll murder you while you sleep. JAY: You still gonna get me that job, Jerry? JERRY: Yeah, you got it, man. JAY: You think I could be a father, Jerry? JERRY: (Sincerely) Yeah. (Pause. Eddie has fallen asleep) JAY: Hey, I think we better get Eddie home. JERRY: He's had way too much to drink. JAY: Eddie, wake up... shit, he's hot, he's running a fever. EDDIE: What time is it? JERRY: 4:08. EDDIE: Thanks. JAY: Let's go home, Eddie. (They help him offstage.) EDDIE: (Offstage.) Wait! Wait a sec. I gotta take a picture. JAY: Come on, Eddie. EDDIE: Please? JAY: Alright. (Eddie re-enters and takes a picture of the empty stage. He exits. Blackout.)