Turn Around by Troy N. Diggs Characters: Kyle Dayton Matthew Soria Craig Burns Setting: A small liberal arts college in a Southern town. Specifically, a typical dorm room. Time: Present (Copyright 1995-96, Troy N. Diggs. Unauthorized use of this work is prohibited without express written permission from the author.) Authors Notes: This play contains mature language and situations, and is not recommended for younger audiences. Music can be used at the producer's discretion, with the songs I prefer being "Total Eclipse of the Heart" at the end and "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" at the beginning. In addition, rights to a clip from the television series "Breakfast Time" can be obtained from the following: Dina Lagorski fX Networks 212 Fifth Avenue New York, New York 10010 Scene 1 (Fall, mid-afternoon.) Kyle: (reading from his personal journal as he writes) September 4. Today, I moved into my dorm room, and the experience was excruciating. My classes start in a couple of days, and I couldn't be happier. So far, things are going all right here, however, Matt hasn't moved in yet. I don't know what it'll be like living with him, but I really don't have much choice, either. They won't let me switch roommates until the end of the semester. Bonding, they call it. I'm glad I've got my fish to keep me company, though. (Knock on door. Kyle opens the door to answer, and Matt is standing outside with boxes in his arms.) Matt: Either you've got the wrong room, or I'm your new roommate. Which is it? Kyle: I think you're my new roommate. I'm Kyle. (extends hand) Matt: (Looking around the room, ignoring Kyle's hand) I'm Matt. Nice to meet you. (Looks at fish tank) They have to go. Kyle: Excuse me? Matt: The fish. They have to go. Kyle: May I ask why? Matt: I don't like them. Kyle: (sigh) All right, then, I'll take them home whenever I go back. Matt: (not paying attention and still looking around) Whatever you want, I don't care. I just don't want that damned noisy air pump running all night. Kyle: O...K... (after a pause of reflection) Do you need help with your stuff? Matt: It's OK. My family is bringing the rest of my stuff at the end of the week. I couldn't get all the boxes into my car. This stuff is just to tide me over until then. There's a couple more in the car, but they're really light. Kyle: I see. Matt: Have you met any of our neighbors yet? I want to get a football game going this afternoon, and I was going to see if anybody's interested. Kyle: Well, as a matter of fact, I have. There's Tom across the hall, and Utz next door. And I play a little football. Matt: Good enough. (Matt sets boxes down) I'll unpack this stuff later. (Exits, calling as he goes) See ya! Kyle: Yeah. You too. (Continues writing) Great. He's probably the best looking guy on campus, and he's a jerk. Wonder what else could happen. Anyway, Mom and Dad came up here to see me off and Dad slipped me an extra $50... thank goodness for parents. It's funny; this place is so close to my hometown, yet I'm the only one from my high school up here. I thought Caroline was coming up here, but I guess I was wrong. Craig: (knocking on still open door) Excuse me? Kyle: Yes? Can I help you? Craig: You sure can, if you're (looking at sheet of paper) Kyle Dayton... Kyle: That's me. Craig: I'm Craig Burns... I'm going to be one of your student study partners this fall. It's part of the New Student program. Kyle: (shaking hands) Well, it's very nice to meet you. Craig: And can I tell you something else? Kyle: Yes? Craig: You're gorgeous. Kyle: You sure know how to make a fella feel at home, don't you? But... (ushers Craig in, and shuts door) how did you know I was gay? Craig: You know Jeremy Hibberd? Kyle: Know him? He's one of my best friends from home! Craig: I met him last year at an FBLA/PBL conference. I was talking to his group about "The Joys of College Life". Kyle: Ah... I see... well, in that case, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Craig: I hope so. Do you need help unpacking? Kyle: Nope. I'm all finished, but my roommate Matt just got here. Craig: Ah. Well, maybe I can show you the campus? Kyle: Sure! (Kyle goes to his desk and closes his journal) I'm glad there's at least one other gay guy on campus. Craig: Kyle, you're not alone. At the very least, you've got me. (they exit) Scene 2 (Later that week. All of Matt's personal belongings are in place, and the boxes are cleared out of the way. Matt is at Kyle's computer typing.) Kyle: (entering) Um... hi Matt. Matt: Oh, hi Kyle... listen, I'm printing something on your printer... I hope you don't mind; mine's still at home with my brother's Powerbook. Kyle: No problem... I guess... but next time, ask me first, will ya? Matt: That's cool. Kyle: Listen, I just got our assignments on the paper. You're an editorial writer and I'm a reporter. How's that sound? Matt: (somewhat uninterested; surprised by Kyle's enthusiasm) That sound fine to me, I guess... Kyle: Well, anyway, what have you got planned for tonight? Matt: Why? Kyle: Well, because I'm interested, that's why. Matt: It's not your business to get involved, Kyle. If I feel like telling you, I'll tell you. Kyle: Matt, I didn't think that... Matt: It's OK. Forget about it. (checking watch) Listen... I've gotta run... I'll be back later... if Laurie calls, tell her that we'll read that short story at the Commons at 10, OK? (Leaving) Kyle: Sure. (When Matt is out of earshot) Your own personal answering machine, sir... (Kyle sits down on his bed, pulls out a book, and starts reading) Scene 3A (Mid-afternoon. Scene opens with Kyle coming into the darkened room. As he flips on the lights, Craig comes out of the closet.) Craig: Surprise! Kyle: I thought you already came out of the closet (smiles). Craig: Oh, ha ha. (Hands Kyle a present) Happy birthday. Kyle: Thanks.... but wait, how did you get in here? Craig: You have a nice floor director. Kyle: Ah. I'll have to remember to thank Marty next time I see him. (Opens present to reveal a book.) "The Gay Guy's Guide to Life." (Flips through and reads the following passages) "#12. Beware of people who think you're gay because you haven't found the right woman." "#106. Never read your boyfriend's journal." "#296. Don't say I love you unless you mean it." Are some of these supposed to be hints? Craig: Well, maybe. Anyway, the gang's at Pizza Pavilion waiting for us with a chocolate chip cookie pizza with your name on it. Kyle: Thanks muchly, Craig. But... I've gotta ask... does this mean that we're a "couple"? Craig: I don't know. You tell me. Kyle: In that case, I think #296 is right. I mean it. Craig: I was hoping you'd say that. (Heading towards door) Ready? Kyle: Yep. (Follows) Craig: (As he leaves) So, how's it going with Matt? Kyle: (Exiting) Oh, lord, you don't want to know... Scene 3B (Late evening.) Kyle: (Writing in journal) September 19. I don't understand it. I want this "relationship" between us to work out, but so far, it's just been a living hell. About the only thing we have in common is that we like to write. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, but that's it. We can talk about that for hours on end, but besides that, there's nothing. I want to learn more about Matt. I can't help but feeling that there's a more compassionate, sensitive person under that "preppy" shell. Hope I'm right. Matt: (coming in) Oh, geez, you're writing in that fuckin' diary again. Everytime I come in, you're writing in that diary. Kyle: I thought you liked writing, Matt. Matt: Yeah, but not 24 hours a day, man. I have an actual life. Kyle: (in an effort to change the subject) Anyway, it's a journal. There is a difference. Besides, "Doug" keeps a journal. Matt: Yeah, but you're not a seventh grader in an ugly green sweater, either. (Opens refrigerator, pulls out drink) Thank God the gym's open 'til midnight. Kyle: Oh, yes, who gives a fuck about studying or an education when you can shoot hoops all night? (sighs) Matt: Geez...you know what your problem is, man? Kyle: Yah, but I'd kinda like to hear it from you. Matt: The problem is, you're just too damned quiet, you know that? I don't ever see you playing anything or hanging with anybody. Hell, I almost never see you in the dining hall! Kyle: Hey, I've got friends. Maybe you just don't look in the right places. Matt: Whatever. The point is, I think you're just too damned quiet. Kyle: And there's something wrong with that? Matt: (mimicking) And there's something wrong with that? Of course there's something wrong with it! It's like you just stay shut up in here and are scared as hell of everybody. And believe me, I'm not the only one that thinks so. Kyle: Oh, really? Matt: Yah... everybody thinks you're some sort of enigma. Kyle: Who cares what everybody else thinks? Look, Matt, I'm happy as I am. There are some things I'm not particularly happy about, but that's life. Matt: So while you're up here, you don't want to socialize, you just want to be alone. Kyle: I didn't say that. Matt: Well, that's sure as hell how you're acting. Kyle: (voice unintentionally gets louder and more fierce) Look, I don't open up as easily as you do, OK? I mean, I'm more selective about my friends than you are. It's hard for me to trust people. Matt: Whatever that means. (lying back on bed) Man, what a game. I kicked Steve's ass all over the gym. Feel like reading that play we've gotta read for Drama with me? Kyle: Sure. Matt: (Pulls out Drama book) OK, let's see. It's that one about the KKK and a black guy. You know, some people I knew at my high school asked me to join up with them. Kyle: Oh, really? Matt: Yep. One of em's dad is some head guy in the area or something. Turned 'em down because I don't believe in them. Kyle: Thank God. Matt: Yep. It's not the ideas, just the way they go about doing it. I can't get into those burnings and white hoods and stuff. I mean, I ain't really comfortable with black guys and Wetbacks and fags around. They're the worst. I figure that if God wanted them to be women, he would've cut off their dicks. Kyle: (abruptly, trying to change subject) Anyway, the play starts on page 57. We'll take turns switching parts. Scene 4 (Fairly early in the morning, around 3:30. Kyle is in his bed reading a book.) Matt: (entering, sees Kyle) Oh, hell, you didn't wait up for me or anything, did you? Kyle: No... why? Matt: Don't give me that... the last 3 weeks or so, you've been awake every time I come in to go to bed. You're not my Goddamn mother. Kyle: I'm not waiting on you. I can't sleep with the lights on, and I didn't want you to wake me up when you came in. Matt: Whatever. (Matt is taking his clothes off down to his boxer shorts and climbing into bed) Kyle: So what happened with ya? Matt: There you go again, checking on me like I'm a kid again. Kyle: I'm just curious, man. I just felt like asking. Matt: Well, me and Kim just went out and walked and talked and that sort of thing. Or, as you would say, we're "courting." Kyle: Ha ha. (Both lay back in bed) Don't forget that you've gotta get up for your 8 o'clock this morning. Matt: I told you, you're not... Kyle: OK, OK. Whatever. Scene 5 (The next day. Kyle is writing in his journal. Early morning; Matt is still asleep. Playing on the television, with a lowered volume, is an episode of "Breakfast Time." The scene should start with Jim, the announcer, saying that "It's ___ minutes past the hour, and welcome back..." At this point, Kyle should begin the scene, however, the volume of the television should not be loud enough to drown the dialogue of the scene. The tape should continue until the end of the scene. This is totally up to the director/producer's discretion, and may be eliminated if seen fit.) Kyle: October 3. You meet all kinds of people in this world. When I was in high school, I thought I'd met the worst of the gay bashers. It's one of those pitfalls about living in the south, ya know? I mean, people are people, and nobody around here seems to realize that. It's shit going around town seeing people with rebel flags on their cars and stuff... I'm glad I had Jamie to protect me. I still miss him; stuff like that... what happened to him... it's not fair, ya know? Anyway, I had to be placed with the worst of it. If it's not white, he won't do anything with it, and if it's female, he'd rather fuck it than talk with it. I guess they're all around, but I never thought it would be like this. I still think that if I can try to reason with him, maybe something good will happen. I guess the best way would be to try to speak in a way he can understand. Anyway, Mom called, and... Matt: (Wakes up. Looks at alarm clock) Holy shit! I've got a class in a few minutes! (Gets out of bed and starts getting ready for class. Happens to see Kyle writing as he prepares) Kyle, why the hell didn't you wake me up? Kyle: (muting the television, cold) I thought you said I wasn't your mother. Matt: That doesn't mean... oh, fuck it... we'll talk later. (Searching around) Have you seen my sneakers? Kyle: (continues writing) Nope. Matt: (looks under bed) Never mind. Found 'em. Kyle: That's nice. Matt: Is something wrong, Kyle? Kyle: No. Why? Matt: Nothin... you just don't seem like your usual friendly self, that's all. Listen, I've gotta run... if Cory comes by, give him that disk on the table, will ya? Kyle: Sure. Matt: 'k... laters... (rushes out door) Kyle: (rips out page in journal, unmutes television, begins again) October 3. You meet all kinds of people in this world... Scene 6 (Craig is sitting on the floor with a plate and silverware in front of him. Kyle walks in with a bowl.) Kyle: (In fake French accent) Dinner is served! Craig: Mm... smells good... what is it? Kyle: It's Chicken Alfredo with fettucine noodles. Old family recipe. (Kyle puts noodles on Craig's place setting, sets one for himself, and serves himself. He opens refrigerator and pulls out two sodas.) Craig; (after tasting) Man, you don't need to be a writer. You need to be a chef! Kyle: It's really that good? Craig: Would I lie? Kyle: Thanks... it's a miracle that I got this stuff to come out right at all... the kitchen of the 60's doesn't hold up well in the 90's... Craig: (between bites) True. So, is anybody else coming to dinner, or is this just a romantic evening? Kyle: Well, it was supposed to be a "group" thing, but everybody else had to go to a meeting... guess it's just you and me. (smiles) Craig: So anyway, how does this weekend look to you? Kyle: It looks good... who all is coming on this happy little camping trip? Craig: Um...me... and you... Kyle: And? Craig: That's it, unless Smokey the Bear is bored... Kyle: Oh. Craig: You don't sound pleased. Kyle: No, it's not that at all. I want to go. It's just that... Craig: Yeah? Kyle: I'm kinda scared of having this relationship up here... I mean, this place is the rumor capital of the state... Craig: Kyle, forget what everybody wants from you and what everybody thinks of you. What do you want to do this weekend? Kyle: I want to go camping wi... Craig: Then we're leaving at 11 o'clock on Saturday. Kyle: Sounds perfect. (holds up soda) A toast. To us. Craig: (holding soda in reply) And to love. (They clink the cans together, then kiss.) Scene 7 (Matt and Kyle are in bed. Moonlight shining through the window) Matt: And him, of all people! He's gay! They're hiding where you least expect them... Kyle: I guess so. Matt: And a black fag at that... it's bad enough that he's black... Kyle: (interrupting) Matt? Matt: Yeh? Kyle: A while back, you told me you thought about joining the KKK. Why? Matt: (thinks about it, then answers) Well... to quote a comedian I saw once, "You know what's wrong with this country? Minorities." Kyle: I didn't know you watched "Whose Line is it Anyway?"... but if I remember right, that was because he was quoting a line from who he thought would be the world's worst person to run for President. Matt: Ha, ha. It's true, though. I mean, I don't hate minorities, but I'm afraid that something might happen. After all, didn't us white people make this country what it is today? Kyle: Yeah... with a little help... Matt: Whatever you say... anyway, I don't think we should go around beating them up or killing them or anything. Kyle: (somewhat surprised) You don't? Matt: Oh, come on, Kyle... give me a little credit here... I may not be the most sensitive person in the world, but I'm not genocidal, either. Kyle: That's a relief. Matt: Kyle, you oughta know better. Kyle: I guess I should. Scene 8 (Matt and Kyle are hunched over Kyle's computer. Daytime.) Matt: No, no. I want that picture on the left side of the page. Kyle: Matt, whose computer is this? Matt: Yours. But who did they put in charge of laying out this week's paper? Kyle: (exasperated, as if they'd had this conversation before) They put us in charge. Matt: Right. So that picture goes over there. Kyle: OK, then, where are we going put this story? Matt: (checks watch) Look, I have to meet Kate at the library. We're going to look at that calculus, then (gathering books, and in a suggestive tone) hopefully, I'll get a look some other things later. You have any plans? Kyle: Not really. After I finish up this page, a friend of mine and I are going to look over some... Matt: (Cutting off, uninterested) Whatever. See ya. (Rushes out the door) Kyle: (to nobody in particular) See ya. Scene 9 (Later that day. Craig is sitting on Kyle's bed, and Kyle is pacing about the room.) Kyle: I don't get him! I just don't get him! Craig: Kyle... Kyle: Craig, he is confusing the living shit out of me! Craig: Yeah, but... Kyle: What is wrong with him? Craig: Kyle, some people are just like that. You've just gotta deal with them. Kyle: Craig, there's more to it than that. (sitting beside Craig) I think I have a crush on him. I don't know what to do. Craig: (holding Kyle) Kyle, you have to let him go. He's not interested in you. Look, love is a two-way street. If he doesn't love you, then it's not love. I don't see anything that's ever going to change that. Kyle: But, Craig... Craig: No "but"s, man. The most you can hope for is that you two at least become friends sometime by the end of the semester. Open yourself up more to him, but be careful. Kyle: (smiling) You're right. I guess I just got carried away. Craig: Nah... that's not it at all. We all get overswept with emotion sometimes. It's called being a human. Kyle: You're still my best friend, right? I mean, we all get crushes... Craig: (mock disappointment) But I thought I was more than that... Kyle: You are, man. You are. (Kyle kisses Craig) Craig: That's it? Just a kiss? Kyle: Never know when Matt'll be back. Can I give you a rain check for the rest? Craig: Well, I am going home this weekend... and I could use the company... Kyle: You're kidding, right? Won't your parents bitch if we're screwing in the next room? Craig: They won't if they don't know. They're taking my sister up to Six Flags in Dallas for the weekend for her birthday. The "Looney Tunes Live Show". Kyle: I bet she's going to have fun. Craig: Yeah, well, I bet she's not going to be the only one. (Craig begins to tickle Kyle, and they both plop down on the bed.) So, what was he saying about the KKK? Kyle: Something about him wanting to join because he didn't like fags and stuff. He wouldn't tell me why. He did say he didn't believe in beating them up or anything, but he was sympathetic to what they stood for. Craig: Oh, one of those types. Kyle: Yeah. I remember running into some of those in high school. I wasn't out or anything, but I had some friends who were. One afternoon, they beat the living shit out of a friend of mine. They even stabbed him a couple of times for the hell of it. He was put in the hospital for a few days. You wanna know what they did to those guys? Craig: What? Kyle: Not a goddamn thing. It was all a joke. They got released on a lame technicality. Some example, isn't it? Craig: Yeah... I had some neighbors like that. Looks to me they're living more in the 1890s than the 1990s. Kyle: It's a shame, man. It really is. Craig: What happened to your friend? Kyle: Jamie? He died. Craig: Oh, God... Kyle... Kyle: It's OK. Anyway, his parents were filthy rich; they got some justice out of it. The hell of it is, you can get rid of the physical scars, but there's no way you can ever get rid of those emotional scars up here, is there? Craig: Not here, man. Not around here. Scene 10 (Later that night. Matt storms into the room, Kyle is reading a book.) Matt: What the hell do you think you're doing? Kyle: (not paying attention) Excuse me? Matt: Craig. Why are hanging out with him? Kyle: And how did you hear that I was hanging out with him? Matt: Word gets around sometimes. Now, why are you hanging out with him? Kyle: (still undistracted from reading) He's my friend. Why shouldn't I? Matt: He's also gay. You don't have any business hanging around fags. Kyle: (sternly) What difference does that make? Matt: What difference does it make?! Kyle, you're ruining any sort of chance you've got at a reputation up here! Kyle: So? Matt, I don't give a fuck about that as long as I've got friends. Seems to me that you aren't looking at him beyond the fact that he's gay. Matt: (a realization) Wait...Kyle... you're not gay, are you? (Kyle doesn't answer) I knew it! I KNEW IT! You're a fag! You're a fucking fag! Kyle: Oh, you're taking it well... Matt: Don't give me that shit! I cannot believe this! You're gay! Kyle: (standing up) Do you have a problem with that? Matt: Yes, I do. Kyle: Why? I'm not any different than I was five minutes ago when you walked in! Matt: You may not be, but I am. Are proud to be a fag? Kyle: Yes, I am. Matt: How can you be PROUD of that? What is so fucking enjoyable about being a fag? Kyle: Matt, it's who I am. I AM GAY, all right? Do you think I'd actually CHOOSE to be this way? IT'S WHO I FUCKING AM! Matt: (a realization. Backing away) You. You're not interested in me, are you? Kyle: (a pause) No, I'm not. Matt, you're my friend. Matt: Are you sure that's it? Kyle: (another pause) Yes, I'm sure. For God's sake, Matt, you don't have to treat me like I've got the plague! Matt: Bull shit! Homosexuality is a disease! Kyle: A DISEASE?! You fucking homophobic! There is nothing wrong with being gay! Matt: Nothing wrong? You call a guy lying in a bed with another guy's cock in his ass normal? Kyle: Yes. Yes, I do. Matt: HOW?! Kyle: (almost violently) Because, Matthew, I am gay and I feel like I'm perfectly normal. I didn't choose to be this way; this is the way I ended up. Matt: God does not make fags! Kyle: Oh, really? Then why am I here? God didn't die any more for you than he did for me. On top of that, do you think those God-only-knows how many gay people out there ENJOY getting pushed upon by people like you? They didn't choose it; it just happened. And, to be honest, I'm perfectly happy being gay. Matt: Well, I'm not. Kyle: That's not your decision to make, Matt. Matt: If I have to live with you, yes, it is. Kyle: Oh, and I assume you want me to "get cured", right? Matt: That would be nice. Kyle: Nothing doing. It's my life, and I'll do what I want with it. Matt: I guess I don't have much choice until the end of the semester. But if you make one move towards me... Kyle: Matt, how long have we been living together? Matt: A couple of months now. Kyle: And have I ever made a move towards you? Matt: (thinks) No. Kyle: Then you can be assured that I won't do anything. Matt: I wish I could believe that. But, seeing as I can't move out, I don't have much choice. Kyle: At least there's that. Matt: (another realization. Begins chuckling heartily) Kyle: And what's that about? Matt: (Extremely self assured) I get it... I get it... Kyle: What? Matt: I know why you think you're gay. Kyle: (with piqued curiosity) All right, why? Matt: Because you're having trouble picking up women. Kyle: Huh? Matt: Yeah. I mean, I've never seen you going out with women or anything. You just think that since you can't seem to get one, you must be gay, right? Kyle: (In an effort to sound as convincing as possible) Yeah. That's it. Matt: (extremely relieved) Man, don't do that to me! You had me worried for a minute. Just relax. You'll get some yet. Just be patient. Kyle: Thanks. Matt: No prob. (Matt takes his clothes off down to his boxers) I'm going to bed. Night, man. Kyle: Night. (Matt turns off lights, and Kyle sits at his desk with his light on, writing in his journal) Kyle (Reading to himself) November 15. I can't believe I had to lie to Matt like that. "I'm gay because I don't get any girls?" No wonder he's not in the KKK. At least there's a shot of us getting along until the end of the semester. I hope things work, because I don't know what he'll do if he finds out. --- INTERMISSION (optional) --- Scene 12 (Mid-evening. Kyle and Craig are cuddling and playing around on Kyle's bed. This goes on for some time before Craig finally says something) Craig: You know what? Kyle: Tell me. What? Craig: You're awesome, man. Kyle: (embarrassed) Aww, Craig... Craig: I mean it! I mean, you're the most sensitive, caring, and fun guy I know. I love you. Kyle: And I love you too, Craig. (They kiss and lie down on the bed. Matt enters with an armful of books and sees the situation. Kyle and Craig fail to notice Matt, and Matt is stunned but not overwhelmed.) Kyle: (Suddenly noticing Matt) Matt! (Craig and Kyle separate) Matt: Um......hi. Kyle: We were just... Matt: It's OK. I'll just... er... go study somewhere else... it's OK... really.... Kyle: Matt, this may not be what you think... Matt: OK...well... I'll head over to...er...uh... Guhman Hall and call my mom... laters.... (dashes out the door) Craig: He took that better than I expected. Kyle: No kidding. You know, he's been acting kind of weird since I told him I was gay. Craig: How so? Kyle: I'm not really sure. I mean, it's like I struck a nerve or something when I told him that. Craig: You think he might be... afraid of you? Kyle: I don't think that's it. I think it might be that he's got something to hide, you know? I think he's acting like I know something about him that I don't. Craig: Are you still fantasizing about him? Kyle: What? Answer that while my boyfriend's sitting here? Craig: Hey, we all do it, man. Kyle: OK, then, yes I am. (Pauses to think about it) But not as much. Craig: What do you mean? Kyle: Well, at the beginning of the year, my first instinct was to try my best to tackle him and fuck the living daylights out of him (Craig chuckles) Oh, don't tell me you've never thought about it. Craig: I can tell you that. Then, I'd be lying. Kyle: Anyway, now, it seems like I just want to be his friend. I kind of feel sorry for him. Craig: Sorry for him? Kyle: Yeah. I mean, it seems like all he is just a front for something he's really hiding. Craig: I think I know what you mean... but what's the next step? Kyle: I really don't have one. The only thing I guess I can do is do what I've been doing all along. Be myself. Craig: Sounds good to me... now... where were we? Kyle: We were doing this. (Kyle takes Craig, kisses him, and they lie on Kyle's bed. Looks at clock) Um... Craig... I have class... Craig: It's only Theatre... Dr. Vogt won't care if you're absent. Kyle: Oh, yes he will... we have an exam. (Prepares to go) Craig: Ah. Well, here, I'll walk ya over there. (as they leave) So, what's for dinner? (Matt comes in shortly thereafter. He looks around, sees the empty room, and sits down at desk) Matt: God... I don't know what's happening to me... dammit, I thought I left this stuff behind when I left Little Rock... I can't believe I'm letting this thing with Jimmy get to me like this. (starts to pace, in an effort to convince himself) It's not natural to be gay. Gay people are bastards. Oh, who the hell am I trying to kid? If I'd left all this shit behind, I wouldn't feel the way I do about Kyle. (takes out paper and pen) "Kyle, I think I love..." (rips it out, balls it up, and throws it away) "Kyle, I've never had feelings..." (throws this away as well) "Kyle, it's a long story, but..." (throws this away) I can't do this. I've gotta talk to him, otherwise, it's just gonna get worse. (phone rings; into phone) "Hello? Yeah, Ron, I'll be at the study session in a few, 'k? Talk to ya..." (hangs up phone, hesitates leaving, but finally does) Scene 12 (Kyle is reading from his journal, sitting at his desk in boxer shorts. Later that night. Lights are off except for the one on his desk) Kyle: December 4. Things between me and Matt have just gotten strange. Today, he caught Craig and I kissing, and I thought for sure he was going to blow up on me. Instead, he took it the way I would have if I'd caught him and a woman together. I can't help but feel like there's something going on inside him, that he's kept bottled up for a while and sooner or later, it'll surface. The thing is, I don't know if that's good or bad. (Matt enters) Matt: Hiya, Kyle. Kyle: Hi, Matt. Matt: (begins preparing for bed in silence. Suddenly:) I'm sorry I... Kyle: It's OK. Don't worry about it. Matt: Good. (Matt climbs into bed) Kyle: I was just wrapping up, anyway. (Gets up to go to bed leaving his desk lamp on. The lighting should be arranged so that Matt and Kyle's shadows are projected on the wall.) Good night. Matt: Good night. (A few moments of silence) Kyle, can I trust you? Kyle: Of course you can. What's going on? Matt: Well, the thing is... remember a while back when you said that you were gay and I thought it was because you were just having trouble with the ladies? Kyle: Yeah? Matt: I guess I didn't want to believe that it was true, but it was...ya see, I'm not as tough as I look. Kyle: What do you mean? Matt: I got mad... I was just... remembering something... Kyle: Remembering what? Matt: Something that happened to me when I was younger. Kyle: Go on. Matt: Well, I had just moved... (a pause) Kyle, I've never told this to anybody before. Can I trust you? Please? Kyle: Of course, man. I'm your friend; I want to help you. Matt: OK. We had just moved in to this house in west Little Rock with my step-dad, and we had this neighbor named Jimmy. I was 12 at the time, and he was 14. He was also bigger than I was; hell, back then, I was a skinny little brat. Kyle: (chuckles) Sorry... it's just kinda weird trying to picture you that way. Matt: Well, that was before I started working out. Anyway, he and I were over at his house one night playing with his computer. His parents had gone to have a romantic dinner; they figured that if he was old enough to take care of himself. After a while, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. Kyle: And? Matt: I'm getting there, OK? When he came back, he didn't have anything on but his briefs. He said, "Wanna have dry sex?" Kyle: What's "dry sex"? Matt: It's when you go through all the motions of doing it, but don't come into any, you know, contact, because you're both wearing underwear. Kyle: Ah, I see. Well, go on. Matt: Ya see, back then, I was a na•ve little bastard and I didn't know what he was doing was wrong, so I said OK. I stripped down to my boxers, and we did it. I don't know why, I guess it was half me being curious, and half being scared of getting beaten up. I didn't think it was gay or anything since we weren't actually doing it, ya know? Kyle: I think so. Matt: We did this for the next few times I went over there, then one day, while we were playing around, he said "Blow me." Since I was 12, I had no idea what that meant, and I said yes. He pulled it out, and I started to suck. It was big, and I had trouble getting it in my mouth, but I did it. I didn't think much of me doing it to him, but I loved it when he did it to me. (voice trembling) It felt...so...good... we did that for a for a while, then finally, a few weeks later, he wanted me to fuck him for real. Kyle: Did you? Matt: Yah, I did. I don't know why; I just felt like it was something that I had to do. Kyle: Did he ever fuck you? Matt: No. He tried once, but hell, I was such a young kid, it hurt like hell. He never tried it again. I moved out of that house a couple of years later... (nervously) I was so confused and scared... I never told anybody what happened, because I was scared... when I discovered that I enjoyed it, I was worried that I might be gay. I mean, around here, homosexuality ain't exactly accepted, ya know? Kyle: Yeah. I know. Matt: I finally decided that I wasn't gay after all, but I still get those feelings once in a while. Kyle: Are you OK, man? Matt: Yah, I'm OK. But when you told me you were gay, I had all those feelings come back again, ya know? I mean, back when I was younger, I thought it was OK... then I grew up and thought it wasn't... now, I see that it's perfectly all right to be gay and happy, and i just don't know... Kyle: Oh, Matt...I... I'm here for you man... I'm your friend... Matt: Hold me. (allow time for Kyle to walk over to Matt's bed, sit down, and hold Matt) Kyle: There, I've got ya man. It's OK. Matt... I love you, man. Matt: I love you too, man. (they kiss) Kyle... I have to have that feeling again... just one more time... please... will you be with me? Kyle: Yeah. (Matt places his hand on Kyle's underwear) Matt... your hand... are you sure this is what you want to do? Matt: (almost in tears) I have to. Kyle, I don't like what I've become, man. I don't hate gay people... it's just that... me and Jimmy... it scared me, ya know? Kyle: (holding tightly) It's OK... you don't have to be scared any more... Matt: I want to do this. (Matt puts his hand inside Kyle's underwear and begins to move it around. Kyle is fairly stunned.) I know you won't hurt me. I want to be able to become me again. (They embrace, lie on the bed, and Matt pulls the covers up over both his and Kyle's bodies. There is some movement around under the covers.) Kyle: Matt, stop. Matt: I need to do this... I have to... Kyle: Matt, stop it. I mean it. Matt: But Kyle... Kyle: If you don't get your hand off of me in 3 seconds, I'm going to scream. Matt: (Movement stops) Dammit Kyle, why are you doing this? Kyle: We can't do this. Matt: Why? Kyle: We just can't. I know you want to, and I know I want to, but we can't do it. Matt: You're not making sense; I don't follow. Kyle: Relationships that start out with sex don't work. It's as simple as that. Matt: What are you saying, Kyle? Kyle: We're friends, right? Matt: I just spilled my most private secret to you, Kyle. Kyle: Then we should stay that way. If we do this, Matt, it'll change everything. I don't want to risk losing you for a few minutes of pleasure. Matt: I think I understand... but Kyle... this is so tough for me to deal with... Kyle: You won't be dealing with it alone, man. Matt: You'll help me? Kyle: I'll be there for you whenever you need me. Matt: Friends? Kyle: No, that goes "I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall." (weak smile) Matt: Or in other words, "yes", right? Kyle: You got it. (They hug, and Kyle goes back to bed) Night, man. Matt: You too. (after a few moments of trying to sleep) Kyle? Kyle: Yeah? Matt: Can I ask you something? Kyle: Sure. Matt: Will you sleep with me? No sex or anything; I just want to have you beside me tonight. Kyle: You promise to behave? Matt: (smiles weakly) Yes, I do. Kyle: (climbs out of bed and into Matt's bed. They embrace, ending with Matt putting his head on Kyle's chest) Feel better? Matt: Much. Thanks, Kyle. Kyle: Sweet dreams, man... (noticing that Matt is asleep and looking distant) Sweet dreams. Scene 14 (Kyle is writing in his journal. Craig is sitting beside him. Daytime.) Kyle: December 14. I finally did it. I came out today. I got together with some of my closest friends, both gay and straight, and told them. Instead of getting bitched at, I got a lot of support. That kind of surprised me. Craig: Surprised you? Kyle: (looks up) Yah. I guess I'm just not used to it; I mean, I was around so much hate in high school. Craig: I see. Kyle: (continues writing) Anyway, I'm glad I got it out of the way. It's going to be a long road through the next few years, but I can take it. Thank God I have my friends to help me. Craig: Kyle, I want you to remember that I'm always here for you. As a matter of fact... I want you to move in with me next semester. Kyle: Craig... I... I don't know. I really don't. Craig: Take your time. Just let me know before Christmas break. Kyle: OK. Will do. (they hug) Thanks. Craig: Anytime. Matt: (entering) Hi, Kyle. Hey, Craig. Kyle: Hi, Matt. Matt: Um.. Craig... can I have a word with Kyle? Craig: Sure. I was just leaving anyway. (Craig kisses Kyle) See ya later. (nods to Matt and exits) Kyle: What can I do for ya? Matt: I heard what you did today, and, I want to let you know that I think it took a lot of guts. I'm proud of you, man. Kyle: Thanks, Matt. I appreciate that. Matt: No prob. I'm your friend, man. Kyle: (settling down on his bed) How are you doing? Matt: Me? Oh, I'm fine. Still trying to get something started with Melissa... Anyway, (pulls out disk from a notebook he's carrying) I've got a paper on here for my Politics class... can you print it out for me? I don't want to go over to the computer labs... Kyle: Sure, man. Matt: Thanks... so, how are you and Craig doing? Kyle: We're doing fine, I guess... no problems or anything... and your love life? Matt: Ah, it's not bad... could be better, but then again, with classes and all, I really don't have much time to be looking. Kyle: You know, this is the longest conversation we've had in a couple of weeks, Matt. Matt: Really? I guess I haven't been all that talkative lately. Got a lot on my mind and all. Kyle: Yeah, I guess. Matt: (after a few moments of awkward silence) I'll be back later; I've gotta go do an interview for the paper. See ya later, man. Kyle: Laters. (Matt exits and Kyle sits at his computer, hesitates, and runs towards the door to call for Matt. He hesitates again and sits back at his computer.) Scene 15 (Matt is at Kyle's desk, reading Kyle's journal. He reads for a while, then Kyle enters.) Kyle: Hi, Mat... (see what Matt is reading) What the hell do you think you're doing? Matt: I...uh... Kyle: (snatches journal) Matt, this is MY journal! You should have asked my permission! Matt: You're right. I'm sorry, man. Kyle: Really? Matt: Yah. Kyle: What did you read? Matt: Not much.. to be honest, I read a lot about what it was like before... when you were in high school... what they did to your friends... I guess you just get scared of what you don't understand, ya know? Kyle: Yeah, I guess. Matt: I mean, I'm not really that KKK kind of person, you know? But, it was so hard trying to get along in school and not have that kind of attitude. I don't hate anybody, but... Kyle: You don't have to explain, Matt. I think I understand. There are so many of them out there. Matt: I also read the stuff you wrote about me. Kyle: Oh, lord. Matt: And you're absolutely right. Kyle: Um... excuse me? Matt: Kyle, I'm sorry if I was really short tempered at the beginning of this year... I don't hate you. Really. Kyle: Thanks. Matt: No, that's not it. Kyle, I think I love you. Kyle: Yeah, I remember you telling me that. And I love you too. Matt: No, no... Kyle... it's more than just a "friendship" kind of love. Kyle: Please don't tell me that. Matt: Kyle, I can't... Kyle: No... don't... I don't want to know... Matt: Kyle, I hav.... Kyle: DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!! Matt: OK, OK... but why? Kyle: Because I don't want to lose you as a friend. If we go on, we'll risk losing our friendship, and I don't want to do that. Matt: I remember you saying that before... you really mean it? Kyle: Matt, right now, I have a boyfriend. I also have a "cow-tipping" buddy. I couldn't ask for more. (puts away journal and picks up some books) Are you sure you'll be OK? Matt: Yah. I'll be fine. Kyle: OK. I'll be back later. Matt: (lying in bed) See ya. (Kyle begins to exit, then faces Matt) Kyle: Matt, there's another reason why I don't want us to have a relationship. Matt: What's that? Kyle: Matt, to be honest, I don't know who you really are. I'm totally confused by the way you act around me and other people. And... the thing is... I don't think you know, either... and that scares the living shit out of both of us. Matt: Geez, you oughta become a psychologist. Dr. Kyle Dayton. Right next door to Dr. Robert Hartley. Kyle: (allows himself a chuckle) Matt, I can't make this decision for you. To be honest, my belief is that God's already made the decision...but that's another story. Anyway, you have to listen to your heart to decide what you want. I also think that if you listen to your heart, you'll realize that I'd make a much better friend than a lover. (slow smile) Matt: OK... thank you very much, Kyle. Kyle: No, thank you. I've got a friend I didn't know I had a few months ago. (Takes books and exits while Matt lies on the bed) Scene 15 (Mid afternoon. Kyle is sitting on his bed reading a letter, knock on door) Kyle: (somewhat depressedly) Come in. Craig: Hi, Kyle... I came over as soon as a I could... what's up? Kyle: Read this. (hands Craig the letter) Craig: (reading) "Kyle, what you're doing is totally wrong. If you expect me to condone this lifestyle of yours, you're sadly mistaken. I'm sorry, but this is the way things oughta be." Who wrote this, Rush Limbaugh? Kyle: Would you believe one of my best friends? Craig: Aw geez, man... Kyle: (sarcastically) "Aw, geez, Wally! That's not by-golly-gee-swell!" Craig, I'm fucking sick of this! Craig: Kyle... listen. Kyle: No, YOU fucking listen! I cannot believe the fucking jackasses that are every where in this stupid state and how they think they're so in touch with God that he comes over for dinner every Sunday night! I believe in God as much as everybody else, and do you see ME treating other people like shit? (Kyle throws a picture frame at a wall; it shatters) Craig: (grabbing Kyle) GET A GRIP! Kyle: (pushing Craig back) BACK OFF, GODDAMMIT! (coming to his senses) Craig... Craig, I'm sorry... Craig: (holding Kyle again) It'll be OK, Kyle... Kyle: Will it? I feel like I'm living in a damn Jeff Foxworthy book and you think it'll all be OK? Did you see my car this morning? Craig: No... why? Kyle: Some smartass wrote on it. You can probably guess what they wrote. Craig: The other F-word, huh? Kyle: Craig, I'm scared, 'k? One of my best friends just left my ass out in the cold. I try to go to Wal-Mart and I have to fucking wash "Fag" off of my car first. Three days ago, it was on the door. Then, it was on the window. I can't walk to the library without expecting to be jumped out of nowhere. I AM SICK OF IT! Craig: Kyle, where are we? Kyle: We're in a God-forsaken town in the South, why? Craig: And you expected peace, love, and harmony to permeate the land? Kyle: (allows himself a chuckle) You know better. I had to put up with that shit in high school. I didn't think I'd have to here. Craig: Why? Kyle: I don't know... I just thought it'd be different, that's all. After all, we're all adults here, man. Craig: Yeah, but being an adult doesn't mean being mature. (Kyle chuckles) Kyle, if you sit here feeling sorry for yourself, it ain't going to get any better. You've gotta get up off your ass and live your life and forget anybody that tries to keep you from doing that. (Hugs Kyle) Look, if somebody's black, you can tell. If they're Asian, you can tell. If they're gay, you'll never know until they tell you. Kyle: What's that supposed to mean? Craig: It means that being gay is only an obstacle if you let it be. Take the high road, quit worrying, and stand up for yourself. "You're gonna make it after all." Kyle: Aw, hush. (Kyle takes Craig's hat and tosses it up in the air. They both laugh, then Kyle looks at broken glass) What do we do about this? Craig: No sweat. (Picks up phone) Marty? Hey, this is Craig Burns... I'm in Kyle's room... listen, could you send Maintenance up here with some wall paint and a dustpan? Nothing major, just some stress relief. 'k... laters. (Hangs up phone) Let's grab something to eat. Kyle: (as he's grabbing things) Craig... thanks. Craig: Anytime, man. (heading for the door) How does Italian sound? Kyle: (leaving) Nah... how about Chinese? Craig: Chinese is good... Scene 17 (Two days before the end of the fall semester and Christmas break. Matt is cramming for a final. Kyle walks in.) Kyle: Hi, Matt. Matt: Hi, Kyle. (A beat) Look, I have something to tell you. Kyle: I'm listening. Matt: I don't think we can live together anymore. Kyle: Why not? Matt: It's just... not good for me... after that night... every time I look at you, I remember what happened to me. I thought that when we did that, it would help me put it in the past, but instead, it just calls up all those old feelings again. I can't handle it... I've tried. Kyle: It's OK. Craig was talking about letting me move into his apartment with him anyway. Matt: That's good. Kyle, I'm sorry... Kyle: There's nothing to apologize for, Matt. I want to say I know what you're going through, but I can't. I don't know. All I know is that you just need time to put everything in your past and figure out once and for all what you are. If you really are gay, you're gay. If not, you're not. How simple can you get? Matt: (chuckles) Thanks, man. I'm going to go downstairs and get a soda... do you want anything? Kyle: No, I'm fine. Thanks. (Matt begins to exit) Matt, wait. Matt: Yes? Kyle: Matt, if you need anything, I'm here for ya. I want you to remember that. You're still my friend. Matt: Thanks. That means a lot to me. (They hug, and Matt exits). Kyle: (Sits down at his desk, begins to write, abandons this idea, and picks up the phone.) Craig? This is Kyle. I need to talk to you. (Pause for response) No, nothing like that. I just need to talk to you about Matt. --- END ---