Daydreams, or, Jack London and the Oyster Pirates, based on real-life events, primarily in Jack London's John Barleycorn (this historically significant public domain work instrumental in bringing about the Volstead Act [Prohibition] after Jack's Death). PLAYWRIGHT: Tom Blow, Catholic University BA in Drama, California State University MA in Humanities, and University of Alabama MA in History. Published in Jane's Soviet Intelligence Review, Defense Analysis, Spacewatch, Annals of War, and Airpower Journal. E-Mail: TOMBLOW@AOL.COM. Snail Mail: 1002 Green Trail Court, O'Fallon IL 62269. CHARACTER BREAKDOWN: 6 Principals, 10-12 Chorus/Minor Characters. Principals 1. FLORA -- JACK's mother, 40s. FLORA wears a talisman. She is lithe, sensitive, vigorous, moody, ostentatious, overdramatic in her intonations, and, though broad in her gestures, her fingers delicately attempt to manipulate unseen forces. 2. JACK -- 16, medium height, weight. JACK's voice is rich with poetic contrast; his eyes are steady, reflecting an inward vision of his future path, although he is occasionally overcome by emotions. His speech is still somewhat clouded with slang (as, but not to the degree of, the beginning of Martin Eden). 3. FRENCH FRANK -- 40s or 50s. Heavy. Imposing. Finespeaking. Threatening. Intimidating. Full of stories of his life with pirates that lived a hundred years before his time. To call his bluff means Frank will have to prove it is not a bluff. 4. SCRATCH POLSKI -- 20s. Imposing in size and strength. Lumbering. Brave. Maximally intimidating in his realm, but easily conquered by love. 5. MAMIE -- 16, average in appearance. Insecure. 6. EDNA -- late 20s. Fun-loving; perhaps formerly shy and just now pushing to come out of her shell. Not classically beautiful. Other Characters MAMMY JENNY (and CHORUS) - Black, heavy, 40s. Kind and loving. HAROLD HENSLEY (and CHORUS) - 40s or 50s, Perhaps bald; superficial. Pyromaniac. Wears a three-piece suit and derby. SPIDER (and CHORUS) - Alcoholic, stubbly, unkempt. MAMIE's uncle. PLUME (and CHORUS) - American Indian with one feather headband. Deep voice. Perhaps an ugly mug of a face; mostly incompetent spirit. ST PETER (& CHORUS) - Obviously not genuine; mischievous, conceited. Chorus Required: Male chorus of pirates, workers, Chinamen, firemen, phantasms, murderers, police. This is a story of how and why Jack London decided to become a writer. Before his death at age 41, Jack London wrote 51 books and became the most popular, most widely known, and most highly paid author in the world. Scene Schedule Act I 1. Jack's house -- interior. IN-1. Jack's House, exterior. 2. Hickmott's Factory. 2.5. A wharf; a pile of boxes. 3. Mammy Jenny's Garden & Front Porch. 4. A shop in Chinatown. IN-1. Exterior of shops (traveler). 5. First and Last Chance Saloon. 6. Jack's boat, at sea. 7. Plush office (traveler scene). 8. First and Last Chance Saloon (interior, exterior, interior). 9. Exterior of Jack's House. 10. Jack's boat, at sea. Act II 1. IN-1. Exterior of row of shops. Exterior, street. IN-2. Interior, Another bar. 2. Jack's House, exterior. 3. An oyster shoal. IN-1. Another part of the shoal (traveler). 4. A pier. IN-2. The Ocean (bare stage). 5. Jack's House, interior. 6. Jack's boat, tied up at pier. Musical Numbers Act I 1. Saint Peter, You Can't Take Me Flora (Dance: Choreographed action sequence) 2. Daydreams (with dance on verse music) Flora, Plume, St Peter 3. Ten Hours a Day Chorus, Jack, Flora 4. Razzle Dazzle (dance on verse music, Jack) Jenny, Jack 5. I Want It All (dance for chorus) Flora 6. Here's to the Southern Pacific (barbershop) Chorus 7. In Darkest Shadows Chorus (Processional when reprised) (Spanish Table dance, Jack and Mamie) 8. I Was a Pirate Frank, Chorus 9. A Nickel for Candy Jack 10 Daringest Man on the Sea/Reprise Scratch, Jack 11 Processional (Reprise) Chorus 12 Jack London Chorus 13 Night After Night Flora 14 Out At Sea/A Boom Boom Lady Edna, Mamie, Scratch, Jack Act II 1. Hancock Fire Brigade (dance: marching) Chorus,Jack,Scratch 2. When My Time Has Flown Flora 3. For $100 Mamie, Jack 4. Pirate Processional (Reprise) Chorus 5. French Frank Frank,Chorus 6. Failure/Waltz of Death (dance: chorus) Jack, Phantasms 7. I'm a Gypsy (Underneath The Skin) Flora + St Peter, Plume 8. Pirate Processional (Reprise) Chorus 9. A Boom Boom Lady (Reprise) Flora, Edna, Mamie 10 French Frank (Reprise) Frank, Chorus 11. Ten Hours A Day (Reprise) Jack 12 Daydreams (Reprise) Flora, Plume, St Peter ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Act I, Scene 1. Jack's House, Interior. (At rise FLORA is down center facing upstage. A talisman hangs from her neck. She wears a turban, and is manipulating her fingers and arms in a fluid manner. In the darkness, we see only her outline, against an intense, blue light emanating from just upstage of her. MUSIC hits strangish chords. She suddenly turns and confronts the audience, as she is hit by a SPOTLIGHT. The bluish light, we see, comes from a crystal ball on a table. With practiced flourish, she picks up her Ouija board, feeling for vibrations.) FLORA THERE'S SOMETHING DIFF'RENT ABOUT TODAY I SENSE IT IN THE AIR SOME KIND OF CHANGE IS COMING OUT MY WAY WILL IT BE FOUL OR FAIR? MY SIXTH SENSE TELLS ME MY PATH WILL BEND. MY SEVENTH COMPELS ME ASK: WILL MY LIFE END? STILL, I HAVE GOT MY ACE IN THE HOLE -- NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE MY SOUL: SAINT PETER, YOU CAN'T TAKE ME WHILE I'VE STILL GOT WORK TO DO! IT JUST WOULDN'T BE POLITE AN' YOU'RE AN APOSTLE, TOO! SAINT PETER, THE TIME'S NOT RIGHT -THOUGH I WORK FROM SUN TO SUN STILL, JUST LIKE THE POEM SAYS, MY WORK IS NEVER DONE! PUT ON THE COFFEE, FIRE UP THE STOVE -MERCY, THE LIST GOES ON! WAKE UP MY SON, PUSH HIM OUT THE DOOR! HE MUST BE THERE BY DAWN! I'M ON THE GO FROM DAWN UNTIL OH, SOME HOUR OF HO-HUM SLEEP! BUT THERE'S ONE GOOD THING OF WHICH I COULD SING THIS LABOR SHOULD BRING CHEAP! FLORA SAINT PETER, YOU CAN'T TAKE ME! I'M MOVING TOO FAST TODAY! SO FAST THAT YOU JUST MIGHT MISS AN' TAKE SOMEONE WHO'S OKAY! SAINT PETER, PLEASE DOUBLECHECK! I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO ERR AND TAKE ME WHEN IT'S NOT TIME -- THEY DON'T LIKE MISTAKES UP THERE! (Verse music. FLORA lights lantern, bringing lights up in JACK's sleep-area. FLORA goes to his bed, taps him on the shoulder, he shrugs it off. Repeat. Third time, JACK swings at FLORA, she steps back in a practiced way. SHE pulls down the covers; JACK pulls them back -- a tug of war. FLORA wins. JACK, who releases the covers, strikes his head on the bedstead, acts unconscious. FLORA gets water on rag, puts it up to his face. JACK immediately sits up, rag on face.) FLORA SAINT PETER, YOU SEE I TRY! DOWN HERE I AM ALL ALONE! I'VE GOT MORE TO FIGHT WITH HERE THAN YOU GUYS HAVE EVER KNOWN! SAINT PETER, YOU KNOW IT'S SO THOUGH BURNT AT THE STAKE I AIN'T MY TRIALS HAVE BROUGHT SUCH WOE -- Woe is me! YOU MUST PUT ME UP FOR SAINT! THEN WHEN I'M A SAINT WHAT AN ALMIGHTY DAWNING THINE EYES SHALL BEHOLD! I'LL GRAB EV'RY ANGEL I FIND IS SINGING, STRUMMING A HARP, OR CHARIOT-SWINGING, AND SEND THEM UPON THEIR WAY, EARTHWARD-WINGING BECAUSE - YOU KNOW -- WE NEED SOME HELP DOWN HERE! I'LL DUST OFF THE ANCIENT MIRACLE-WORKING BOOK AND REWRITE THE WORDING, SO JUST WITH ONE QUICK LOOK THE HEAVENLY HOSTS WILL FIND IT A BREEZE TO COOK UP JUST -- THE WAY -- TO MAKE OUR DREAMS APPEAR! OUR DREAMS AREN'T OF FLOWING EVENING DRESSES, SERVANTS, AND COW-TER-EE-AYED TRESSES, STILL IF THERE'S NO OTHER WAY FOR YOU -- I PROMISE THAT WE WILL MAKE DO! OUR DREAMS AREN'T OF GREAT, VAST, FORTUNES IN GOLD, AND DIAMONDS, AND PEARLS, AND cash that's cold! OF COURSE, IF THERE IS NO OTHER WAY, WE'LL GET BY -- WHATEVER YOU SAY! GET OUT THE BUTTER, SLICE UP THE BREAD, RINSE OUT THE COFFEE CUP! PUT OUT THE TRASH, AND BRING IN THE NEWS! MY, HOW THE TASKS MOUNT UP! IF I DON'T LET GO, RICHES I'LL GET, THOUGH SO FAR, THEY'RE YET SO FAR! BUT ON SOME GREAT DAY SOME HAND OF FATE MAY SPILL FORTUNES WHERE WE ARE! SAINT PETER, DON'T RUN ME OUT OF THESE HERE UNITED STATES ESPECIALLY KNOWING I'M ALLERGIC TO PEARLY GATES! SAINT PETER, IF YOU SEND DOWN A LETTER TO INVITE ME IT WOULDN'T BE APPROPO TO LEAVE OUT "R.S.V.P!" DON'T LEAVE OUT "R.S.V.P!" SAINT PETER, YOU CANT TAKE -- No, you can't! SAINT PETER, YOU CAN'T TAKE ME! (JACK approaches FLORA, pulling up overall straps.) FLORA Ah! Perhaps my son senses the tinge in the air. (Chants) Johnny please tell me without delay what is the diff'rence about today? JACK (asleep on his feet) Hunhhh? FLORA (Chants) What will happen? How will we fare? Do you scent the change in the air? JACK (Pops one bleary eye open.) Nope. It's still 1892. (sniffs) Cof-fee! FLORA (Gets coffee, chants) Ah, that's the problem, you're not awake! Hurry and drink it, for heaven's sake. JACK (Chants, mimicking) Time for the dining style award: breakfast served on a Ouija board! (speaks) And don't call me Johnny! I told you, from now on, I'm Jack! FLORA I didn't know you were so choosy, Johnny. (JACK glares.) - Jack! Okay, Jack. JACK If you want to search the future, why don't you go ask Plume? He's your other-world friend, not me! (Chants) Unless this is the other world -- could be -FLORA Plume only appears at my seances; besides, he doesn't know what happens on any one day. JACK Then pray to Saint Peter, why don't you. FLORA I've already spoken to him today. JACK Gosh! I honestly can't fathom how a spiritualist can be so devoutly religious! FLORA Joh-- Jack-- Have you ever heard of hedging your bets? JACK What? FLORA Never mind! -- But tell me -- what will happen today? JACK If anything happens today (chants) then it will be that I've thrown up my job and quit! FLORA Quit!! You're working more steady than ever! JACK (chants) Yes, but when shall I live my life? Never! Nevermore, nevermore... FLORA (sings) FANCY NOTIONS IN YOU'RE HEAD! YOU'VE GOT NO RESPECT FOR BREAD. JACK (Stuffs bread in pockets, for lunch) But I have a plan. FLORA OH! ANOTHER GRAND PLAN! ANYTHING LIKE YOUR PLAN TO HUNT WILDCATS? JACK Well -- FLORA JACK, HELP YOURSELF TO SOME COMMON SENSE: THINGS ARE OKAY ON OUR SIDE OF THE FENCE! JACK That's easy to say! (chants) And you don't believe it, anyway! FLORA That's not true! JACK It is so. FLORA It isn't. JACK It is. FLORA It is not! JACK It is! FLORA (Hands on hips, drawn up to full height) It...isn't! JACK It -- it's time to get to the factory. (crosses to door.) And you -- can go back to your daydreams! (slams door.) FLORA What am I going to do about that boy? (Pause.) I said, what am I going to do about that boy? (Raises one eyebrow, broadly cocks head over opposite shoulder, "snapping" head to a standstill when she looks at doorway.) PLUME (enters, backward) Not now. Me busy. FLORA Busy? With what? PLUME Chores. Honest injun! FLORA You used that one twice this month already, Plume! (Exhales.) What good does it do to have an oracle who won't tell the truth? PLUME Me tell truth! Ask Great Father! FLORA Alright. (FLORA does same gesture again, at another doorway.) ST PETER (rolls in on a cloud) This cloud is not working right. This definitely is not my stop. FLORA Saint Peter! Can you shed some light on a small delusion here? PLUME Is gospel! ST PETER I'm supposed to verify the voracity of this figment? PLUME Me not figment! Me daydream! ST PETER Don't like being called a figment, ay? PLUME Not figment! ST PETER Figment figment figment! PLUME Ug! Him not very nice! ST PETER Verily I say unto you: gird the loins of your understanding. FLORA Eh? ST PETER Give me a break! This constant saintliness is a bore! Forever treading paths of righteousness! I can't stand it, I tell you! Give me some good old-fashioned nastiness! I love it! PLUME Ug! Don't see how keep job! ST PETER Ah, verily, my son! And now, I must be going -- (Walks toward cloud. FLORA points finger, ST PETER turns around, controlled, as she twists her finger.) FLORA I want to hear you answer that one. How do you keep your job? ST PETER (pauses, crosses to center.) When you've been around as long as I have, you'll learn it's...who you know. (Nods head several times, affirming this visionary truth and pointing aloft.) PLUME He figment! ST PETER I must depart. FLORA Wait. (VAMP. She stops him, turns him.) ST PETER But I can't. (FLORA raises eyebrow, slinks head forward. It's undignified! (FLORA raises eyebrow.) I don't want toooo! (vamping) DOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT -- -- -- DOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT ---- PLUME ST PETER Ha Ha! Me have last laugh! (Vamps.) FLORA Oh? (Raises eyebrow.) PLUME Ulp! But me stone-faced! (Eyed by FLORA.) Me Great Totem of Strength! (Further eyed by FLORA.) Meeeeee ST PETER AND PLUME DOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT! -- (FLORA's body English gets them in step.) DOO DEE YOOT -- DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT -------- (rim shots and thump drum) (As FLORA "freezes" her companions, she explains the song to the audience.) FLORA I LIVE IN A WORLD THAT'S NOT STUCK IN THE PAST! I HAVE VISIONS OF LONG LOST HOPES ALIVE AND KICKING AT LAST! SOME SAY THAT SUCH SIGHT HAS FLAT DRIVEN ME BLIND -- THEY JUST CANNOT SEE HOW THINGS OUGHT TO BE ANYWHERE IN THEIR MIND -- SO -- (In the eight beats, FLORA rocks her companions, manipulating them into contortions as she moves them about with gestures.) FLORA ST PETER AND PLUME DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOOT THEY CALL THEM DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOOT THEY'RE FARAWAY DREAMS DOO DOO AND MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DE YOOT DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOO JUST WISH AND PRAY DREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOO TRUTH GONE ASTRAY DREAMS DOO DOO THAT PALE IN THE LIGHT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT BUT, I KNOW DOOT DOO DEE YOOT THAT THOUGH I MAY SHOW DOOT DOO DEE YOOT SIGNS THAT I MAY GO DAH DOT DAH INSANE BEFORE LONG -- DAH DAHDOT DAH DAH DAHDOT DAYDREAMS ARE MY (AH) ESCAPE FROM FINDING OUT WHY, (AH) I KEEP DAYDREAMS DAH DEE YOT DAH FOREVER IN SIGHT! ST PETER AND PLUME DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT! -- DOO DEE YOOT - DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT -------- FLORA I'M LIVING A LIFE THAT'S NOT BOUNDED BY FEAR! I HEAR VOICES FROM LONG AGO SPEAKING CRISPLY AND CLEAR! THEY TELL ME THE TRUTH AS FAR AS THEY CAN SEE -- IN PREDICTIONS THEY KNOW THEY HAVE TO SAY THE FUTURE'S STILL UP TO ME! BUT -- FLORA ST PETER & PLUME DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOOT THEY CALL THEM DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOOT DON'T HAVE TO PAY DREAMS DOO DOO WHERE EV'RYTHING'S FREE DOO DEE YOO DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOO JUST MONTH OF MAY DREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOO BLISS COME TO STAY DREAMS DOO DOO THROUGH IGNORANCY! DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT BUT, I KNOW DOOT DOO DEE YOOT THOUGH LUCK MAY LAY LOW DOOT DOO DEE YOOT I JUST CAN'T STAY LOW DAHDOT DAH WHILE SINGING THIS SONG DAH DAHDOT DAH DAH DAHDOT DAYDREAMS ARE MERE- (AH) LY HOPE WITHOUT ALL THE FEAR, (AH) NEAR DAYDREAMS DAH DEE YOT DAH IS WHERE I MUST BE. (Orchestra plays verse, then vamps under dialogue.) FLORA Now that I have your attention -- tell me, what am I going to do about that boy? PLUME Feed. Wait. Soon, not boy. Man! FLORA (shakes head) Brilliant! (Throws up hands.) ST PETER Nurture his soul. FLORA Hmmm. And I thought you were a stinker. ST PETER Well, actually, it's what I tell everybody. FLORA Somehow -- I've got to get Johnny -- Jack -- and me on the same side. He and I are so far apart all the time. I feel myself falling deeper into -- into -- ST PETER Ye-eh-es? FLORA Well, farther away from the world. ST PETER That isn't so bad. On the other hand -- FLORA I've got to -- I need to be nearer to him. PLUME Good! Get job in factory! ST PETER Ah! An amusing thought! (FLORA turns slowly, eyebrows raised, forcing both to vamp to drum beats. FLORA freezes them, then turns to the audience.) FLORA (slowly) I ONCE WAS NEAR DEATH JUST ONE HEARTBEAT AWAY -- LIFE WAS SLIPPING AWAY FROM ME -- THEN I HEARD MYSELF SAY: I'VE GOT TO GO ON THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO DO -- I WILL FIND A WAY TO LIVE EACH SEP'RATE DAY FAR BEYOND WHAT I KNEW -- IN -- FLORA (a tempo) ST PETER AND PLUME DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOOT THEY CALL THEM DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOOT CRACKBRAIN DECAY DREAMS DOO DOO CAUSED BY A LOOSE SCREW DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT! FLORA ST PETER & PLUME DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOO THEY'RE ONLY PLAY DREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOO HIP HIP HOORAY DREAMS DOO DOO MY MIND GONE ASKEW! DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT BUT, I KNOW DOOT DOO DEE YOOT WHILE SOME MIGHT SAY SO DOOT DOO DEE YOOT WELL, WHAT DO THEY KNOW? DAH DOT DAH THEY'RE BOUND TO BE WRONG! DAH DAHDOT DAH DAH DAHDOT DAYDREAMS DO STILL (AH) DRAW LIFE FROM MY FORCE OF (AH) WILL, TIL DAYDREAMS DAH DEE YOT DAH JUST HAVE TO COME TRUE! DOO DE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT! - (Orchestra plays Chorus. DANCE. On last portion of chorus, orchestra slows to step-kick tempo.) FLORA ST PETER AND PLUME DAYDREAMS ARE MY (AH) WISH ON A STARDUST SUPPLY DAH DAH DAH DAYDREAMS ARE MERE (AH) -LY HOPE WITHOUT ALL THE FEAR DAH DAH DAH DAYDREAMS DO STILL (AH) DRAW LIFE FROM MY FORCE OF (AH) WILL, TIL DAYDREAMS DAH DAH TURN TO RICOCHET GLEAMS DAH DAH OF LIFE AND THEN DAYDREAMS DAH DAH JUST HAVE TO COME TRUE! DAH DOT DAH JUST HAVE TO COME TRUE! DAH DOT DAH ALL JUST HAVE TO COME -- TRUE! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------- Act I, Scene 2. Hickmott's Factory. (Vamp. JACK and WORKERS labor at vamp tempo. Warning signs are everywhere.) JACK and CHORUS BACK TO THE DAILY GRIND BACK DEEP INTO MY MIND OH! FIRST WORKER WHATEVER I WAS IS GONE NOW, GONE AS I CONCENTRATE, SECOND WORKER I'M JUST A COG IN A WHEEL NOW, I'M JUST A HOLE IN THE GRATE. THIRD WORKER GONE ARE MY THOUGHTS OF LIFE NOW LIVING IS FAR AWAY FOURTH WORKER ALL FOR THE POWER OF TEN CENTS AN HOUR TEN HOURS A DAY. ALL TEN HOURS A DAY TEN HOURS A DAY I'M IN THE POWER OF TEN CENTS AN HOUR TEN HOURS A DAY. WORKER WHY DO YOU PUSH YOURSELF, JACK? AIN'T THE DAY LONG ENOUGH, JACK? I'VE SEEN YOU HERE TILL ELEVEN AT NIGHT OR LATER IN SPITE OF BLOOD-SHOTTED SIGHT. FIFTEEN YEARS OLD AND YOUR YOUTH SO FAR GONE WHY DO YOU PUSH YOURSELF ON? JACK THERE IS A SKIFF LYING IDLE ON THE BAY EIGHT DOLLARS BUYS HER AND GETS HER UNDERWAY I'VE GOT FIVE DOLLARS, I'VE SCRIMPED THE SUMMER LONG - FOREGONE MY PLEASURES, SINGING MY SAILING SONG -- I'LL SHIP IN THE WIND EV'RY DAY ON THE BAY TASTING THE SALT IN THE SPRAY AND CASTING OFF FEAR TO ADVENTURE I'LL STEER CRUISING THE SEA-FRONTIER I HUNGER TO KNOW WHAT'S BEYOND AND BEYOND MY DAWNING'S YET TO BE DAWNED -- THERE MUST BE MORE THERE PAST THIS CHILD LABOR LAIR THIS BEAST-WORK I JUST CANNOT BEAR. THEY'VE GOT THESE MACHINES DOWN IN HELL, I HEAR TELL. WORKER I WISH IT WAS EASY AS THAT TO GO ROVIN' BUT IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD BE GONE. JACK I GUESS YOU DON'T KNOW BUT MY MOM'S OUT OF WORK AND I GUESS THAT IS KEEPING ME ON. WORKER IT ALL AMOUNTS TO A WISH AND A PRAYER AND WISHES WEIGH HEAVY AS EV'RYDAY AIR YOU WILL GO NOWHERE. CHORUS CLOSED IS THE VAST FRONTIER, NOW GONE ARE MY HOPES AND DREAMS FIFTH WORKER ALL I CAN DO IS GIVE THANKFULNESS TO GOD I DON'T CRACK AT THE SEAMS. SIXTH WORKER LUCKY I'VE GOT A JOB NOW THINGS COULD BE MUCH, MUCH WORSE SEVENTH WORKER I CAN BE FIRED AS EASY AS HIRED LIVING DEPRESSION'S CURSE-- THAT'S WORSE!! SO ALL TEN HOURS A DAY TEN HOURS A DAY I'M IN THE POWER OF TEN CENTS AN HOUR TEN HOURS A DAY. JACK YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME I KNOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE I CAN GO YOU CANNOT THINK THERE IS ANY WAY OUT THIS NONSENSE I SPOUT IS A FANTASY ROUTE. BUT I AM YOUTH! I AM CHOCK FULL OF DRIVE, VIBRANT AND STRONG AND ALIVE. WORKER IF YOU'VE BEEN SAVING YOUR MONEY THAT LONG EVEN SUPPORTING YOUR OWN YOU SHOULD BE SWIMMING IN DOLLARS BY NOW RICHER THAN YOU'VE EVER KNOWN. AT THIS RATE IT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG TO GET THERE TOO MANY MORE NEW DAYS WILL DAWN -- I WISH IT WAS EASY AS THAT TO GO ROVING, BUT IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD BE GONE. IT ALL AMOUNTS TO A WISH AND A PRAYER AND WISHES WEIGH HEAVY AS EV'RYDAY AIR! YOU WILL GO NOWHERE! FLORA (enters) Jack! JACK Mother! FLORA JACK COME AWAY FROM YOUR MACHINE, JACK. YES, MOTHER. COME AWAY WHERE WE CAN TALK, JACK. YES, MOTHER. I HAVE GOT TO TALK TO YOU. OKAY. OKAY. FLORA I WAS CLEANING UP YOUR ROOM AND SAW YOUR LETTER TO HANK JACK, WE'VE GOT THE BILLS TO PAY AND NOTHING IN THE BANK THE LETTER SAID YOU HAD FIVE DOLLARS. JACK FLORA NO! NO OTHER WAY, JACK. NO! NO OTHER WAY, JACK. NO! NO OTHER WAY, JACK. (JACK gives FLORA the money. FLORA exits.) JACK MAYBE SHE'LL WIN AT THE LOTTERY THIS TIME. WORKER Eh? JACK NOTH-ING. FOREMAN Back to your machine, you rascal! JACK I'LL SHIP IN THE WIND EV'RY DAY ON THE BAY TASTING THE SALT IN THE SPRAY--AY -- WORKER I WISH IT WAS EASY AS THAT TO GO ROVING BUT IF IT WAS YOU WOULD BE GONE! IT ALL AMOUNTS TO A WISH AND A PRAYER -AND WISHES WEIGH HEAVY AS EV'RYDAY AIR. FOREMAN What's this slow down? Move! CHORUS WHATEVER I WAS IS GONE NOW GONE AS I CONCENTRATE I'M JUST A COG IN A WHEEL, NOW I'M JUST A HOLE IN THE GRATE. GONE ARE MY THOUGHTS OF LIFE, NOW, LIVING IS FAR AWAY, ALL FOR THE POWER OF TEN CENTS AN HOUR TEN HOURS A DAY. (JACK slowly gets up from his machine, crosses, and exits, while singinging continues.) MEN WOMEN (Counterpoint) TEN HOURS A DAY I'VE GOT TO WORK TEN HOURS A DAY I'VE GOT TO SLAVE I'M IN THE POWER OF TEN CENTS AN HOUR, CAUGHT IN ITS POWER FAST. PLEASE LET ME GO NOW! WHEN WILL I EVER BE FREE? I'D ESCAPE IF I COULD FREE OF THIS COLD FACTORY I'D ENJOY LEAVING FOR GOOD THERE MUST BE MORE THAN THESE WALLS IF I ONLY COULD SEE I HATE THESE GRIEF-SPATTERED HALLS I'D LEARN WHAT LIVING COULD BE I'VE GOT TO GET AWAY BUT I CAN'T GET AWAY I'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY IF JUST MY MIND AWAY ALL HOW CAN I? HOW CAN I? HOW CAN I? HOW CAN I? HOW CAN I? HOW CAN I? HOW CAN I? HOW CAN I? (Kettle Drum Beat) (CHORUS leaves work stations amd moves downstage.) MEN WOMEN (Counterpoint) I AM A SLAVE OF WORK, NOW HARNESSED AND HERE TO STAY YES I'M HERE TO STAY ALL FORCED TO ENDURE, THEN AS POOR BEAST OF BURDEN -- ACHING JUST AWFUL THOUGH TORTURE'S UNLAWFUL -- TOILING A WAY FOR MACHINES TO SAVE LABOR!! TEN HOURS A TWELVE HOURS A FOURTEEN HOURS A SIXTEEN HOURS A SEEMS EV'RY HOUR A (8 Drum Beats) DAY! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------- Scene 2.5. A Wharf. A collection of wooden crates. (Jack is sitting in one of the crates, reading.) JACK (Puts down book.) Plan Number 113: -- no. (Holds book back up. Puts it down.) Plan Number 114: -- no. -- This is how I handle a crisis, all right: in a shady spot, book in hand. I'm really addicted to reading -- drunk with it, you might say. It stretches the mind to where you can hatch a million plots. And I need a good one now. But my mind also visualizes how people will react, what they will do and say. And what good is that? They keep saying, "No, no, no." FIRST MURDERER(enters) Hey! Over here! SECOND MURDERER (enters) Yeah? What's up? (The two men approach the crate Jack is reading in, and lean on it, talking to each other. They do not see JACK.) FIRST MURDERER Listen, I just heard French Frank has the Razzle Dazzle for sale. Three hundred greenbacks! SECOND MURDERER Three hundred for his sloop, ay? They makes a fortune every other night, swiping oysters out of the Southern Pacific's oyster beds. I'd kill for a chance to go out with that bunch. FIRST MURDERER Exactly my thinking. Let's look for somebody with three hundred. Or 30 people with ten! SECOND MURDERER Okay. But don't tell anybody else -- or we'll have to kill him, too! (JACK's eyes widen. MURDERERS exit.) JACK Three hundred dollars -- for a life upon the sea. -- Three hundred dollars. Ah -- for the want of three hundred dollars, my life is as nothing. Three hundred dollars - Mammy Jenny! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------- Scene I-3. Mammy Jenny's Porch. (Mammy Jenny is seated in a white rattan chair. Laundry is visibly hung. A sign off to the side reads "Medical Nurse Within".) JENNY JACK! WELL-WELL, HOW ARE YOU-ALL, HONEY CHILE? JACK MAMMY JENNY! JENNY COME CLOSER TO ME, HONEY CHILE -- I'S WORKED SO HARD, I'S TIRED A WHILE -- JACK MAMMY JENNY! JENNY AIN'T SEED YOU AROUN' FO SICH A SPELL -- I WONDERED IF YOU-ALL BEEN WELL -- JACK MAMMY JENNY -- MAMMY JENNY -- YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD TO ME SINCE I WAS SMALL I HESITATE TO ASK THIS THING AT ALL. JENNY GO ON, DEAR JACK -- YOU KNOW'D I GOT YOUR NEEDS TO HEART -- I KEER A LOT. JACK Well, MY DREAMS WERE CRUSHED, BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF ANOTHER WAY TO LEAD THE LIFE I'VE SO LONG SOUGHT. AN OYSTER SLOOP'S FOR SALE, AND THINK HOW I COULD LIVE UPON THE WAVES IF I MIGHT BUY THE RAZZLE DAZZLE! RAZZLE DAZZLE! ANY OTHER LIFE COULD NE'ER SEEM AS FULL! RAZZLE DAZZLE! RAZZLE DAZZLE! JUST IMAGINE HOW I'D BE! I'D SHIP OUT ON THE DAILY TIDE, MY ONE-MAN CREW THERE BY MY SIDE, WE'D PULL UP OYSTERS FROM THE SEA, JUST THINK HOW RICH I SOON WOULD BE! JENNY SOON WOULD BE? JACK SOON WOULD BE! JENNY DEAR JACK, YO TALKIN' 'BOUT A BIG OLE OYSTER-PIRATE SAILIN' RIG. I READS DE PAPERS, QUITE A FEW, AND KNOWS DEY BREAKS SOME LAWS, DEY DO. IF YOU GETS CAUGHT IN A OYSTER'S BED YOU'S GWINE TO LAND IN JAIL INSTEAD. JACK I KNOW THAT'S TRUE, BUT IF BY FATE I FOUND THE STRIPES AND LOCKSTEP IN THE STATE COMPOUND I'D WORK MUCH LESS THAN NOW! IT'S TRUE TO SAY NO HORSE IN OAKLAND WORKS A LONGER DAY! RIGHT NOW, I'M SLAVE TO MACHINE, I MUST MAKE A BREAK, MAKE IT CLEAN. WHAT RIGHT HAVE THEY TO MAKE A COG OF ME OR OWN THE OYSTERS LIVING IN THE SEA? IF I KEEP WORKING ON FOR THEM, WHY THEY'LL KEEP BUYING MANSIONS, EATING LOBSTER TAIL. THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS BUYS THE RAZZLE DAZ - AND I'LL REPAY YOU QUICKLY AS I CAN. JENNY WHAT ARE THE SAVINGS OF A LIFE IF'N DEY CAINT HE'P US ON THROUGH STRIFE? I DIDN'T NURSE YOU AT MY BREAST JUST TO TURN YOU OUT WHEN YOU'RE DISTRESSED. BE CAREFUL, CAREFUL, MY LITTLE JACK, TAKE CARE AND DO YOUR BEST! JACK MAMMY JENNY! (Fade to spotlight on JACK.) AN OYSTER SLOOP'S FOR SALE! AND THINK HOW I WILL LIVE UPON THE WAVES WHEN I GO BUY THE RAZZLE DAZZLE! RAZZLE DAZZLE! ANY OTHER LIFE WOULD NE'ER SEEM AS FULL! RAZZLE DAZZLE! RAZZLE DAZZLE! I WILL NEVER BE THE WORK-BEAST TIL I DIE! (Dance. JACK pantomimes hauling up anchor, hoisting the sale, steering, looking through telescope; then dances a jig.) JACK (Continued) RAZZLE DAZZLE! RAZZLE DAZZLE! ANY OTHER LIFE WOULD NE'ER SEEM AS FULL! RAZZLE DAZZLE! RAZZLE DAZZLE! I WILL NEVER BE THE WORK-BEAST TIL I DIE! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------ Scene I-4. A shop in Chinatown. HAROLD, CHINAMAN, FLORA discovered. HAROLD My lighter -- is it ready yet? CHINAMAN Ah-so, honorable sir, I make plomise your special-special righter ready today. I go back. I find. You see! (Exits.) FLORA (Backing towards counter, looking at strange merchandise and a suspicious-looking Chinese customer. FLORA backs into HAROLD, turns with a start.) Oh! HAROLD Are you all right? FLORA I -- I -- well, you can't be too careful around here, you know. HAROLD Around here? I don't -- understand. FLORA Well, I suppose its easier for you because you aren't -- HAROLD Aren't what? FLORA -- so sensitive to -- to -- here is my card. HAROLD "Madame Flora -- Seances, Palmistry, and Investment Counseling." FLORA Hush! There are powerful forces at work here. HAROLD What? CHINAMAN (re-enters) Honorable sir, I velly solly I no can find. I go one minute to honorable father's warehouse. Come back chop-chop! You see! Ah! Missy-Missy! Here is! (Hands ticket to FLORA.) Thank you much-much. (Takes bill from FLORA.) Now, hurryhurry! (Exits.) HAROLD What is that? FLORA The only thing that makes this trip worthwhile. The only thing for which I'd come to this dark cauldron of evil spirits. It is -- my lottery ticket! -- I brave every danger for it! HAROLD Danger? (CHINAMEN stick their heads ariund corners of scenery during the following. They can only be seen in profile, as shadows against the purple depths of Chinatown. During the verses of the songs (not the refrains) they are seen as FLORA sees them: their guns, knives, ropes, etc., are seen in profile. They cannot be seen by HAROLD except during the refrains, when in the full light of day they seem friendly, and when we see the things they carry are harmless, even though in shadows these things look dangerous.) FLORA EVERY TIME I GO TO CHINATOWN -- THERE'S A CHANCE THAT I MIGHT DIE -- WHY DO I GO DOWN TO CHINATOWN? THIS LOTTERY TICKET TELLS YOU WHY! WHEN I GO TO CHINATOWN, I'M PARALYZED WITH FEAR -- FOR I KNOW IN CHINATOWN THINGS AREN'T AS THEY APPEAR -OUT HERE -- YELLOW FACES GREET YOU WITH THAT CLASSIC ASIAN SMILE -BUT THEIR RACES IS FRAUGHT WITH SLANT-EYED CUNNINGNESS AND GUILE! FLORA CHINAMEN (friendly) BUT I NEED HO, MISSY, HEY, MISSY, COME AGAIN AND PRAY, MISSY, MY CHANCE. THANK YOU VELLY VELLY MUCH MIZ RONDON IT'S GREED HO, MISSY, HEY, MISSY, COME AGAIN AND PRAY, MISSY, I FANC-Y. THANK YOU VELLY VELLY MUCH MIZ RONDON INDEED YOU VELLY VELCOME ANY TIME AT ALL I'M ANTS-Y. VELCOME, VELCOME, GRAD TO SEE YOU, I WANT IT ALL! YOU VELLY VELCOME, GRAD, SO GRAD, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD COME AND SEE US, GRAD, SO GRAD, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD CALL! (CHINAMEN slink back into shadows again.) FLORA I'VE READ ALL THE PAPERS AND THE VERDICT IS THE SAME THEIR APPALLING TREACHERY'S PLAYED OUT JUST LIKE A GAME! HAROLD No! FLORA Yes! A GAME! THEY HAVE GROWN IN NUMBERS TIL IT'S PLAIN AS IT CAN BE - THEY'LL SOON OWN THE LAND AS FAR AS ANYONE CAN SEE! -JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE! FLORA CHINAMEN (friendly) BUT I NEED HO, MISSY, HEY, MISSY, COME AGAIN AND PRAY, MISSY, MY CHANCE. THANK YOU VELLY VELLY MUCH MIZ RONDON IT'S GREED HO, MISSY, HEY, MISSY, COME AGAIN AND PRAY, MISSY, I FANC-Y. THANK YOU VELLY VELLY MUCH MIZ RONDON INDEED YOU VELLY VELCOME ANY TIME AT ALL I'M ANTS-Y. VELCOME, VELCOME, GRAD TO SEE YOU, I WANT IT ALL! YOU VELLY VELCOME, GRAD, SO GRAD, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD COME AND SEE US, GRAD, SO GRAD, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD CALL! CHINAMEN (friendly) WHY DOES THE MISSY-MISSY SEEM SO RONERY? WHAT IS HER PROBREM, DO YOU KNOW? RIFE HERE IS PREASANT, BUT SHE'S NEVER SHOWN ME SHE'S REARNED TO RAUGH WHEN I AM SAY: "AH - SO!" (Chinamen slink back into the shadows, appearing as unfriendly spirits again.) FLORA I AM TOLD THE GAME IS FIXED SO WHITES WILL NEVER WIN -BUT TO HOLD MY TICKET STUB LETS HOPE COME RUSHING IN! RUSH IN! EV'RY DAY'S ANOTHER DREARY STRUGGLE TO EXIST -- THIS GAME PAYS SUCH RICH REWARDS YOU KNOW I CAN'T RESIST! I CANNOT RESIST! FOR -- FLORA CHINAMEN (friendly) I NEED HO, MISSY, HEY, MISSY, COME AGAIN AND PRAY, MISSY, MY CHANCE. THANK YOU VELLY VELLY MUCH MIZ RONDON IT'S GREED HO, MISSY, HEY, MISSY, COME AGAIN AND PRAY, MISSY, I FANC-Y. THANK YOU VELLY VELLY MUCH MIZ RONDON INDEED YOU VELLY VELCOME ANY TIME AT ALL I'M ANTS-Y. VELCOME, VELCOME, GRAD TO SEE YOU, I WANT IT ALL! YOU VELLY VELCOME, VELLY, VELLY VELCOME, GRAD, SO GRAD, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD COME AND SEE US, GRAD, SO GRAD, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD CALL! ALL! GRAD, SO GRAD, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD COME AND SEE US, GRAD, SO GRAD, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD CALL! ALL! WE ARE SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD OH, SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD, WE ARE SO GRAD THAT YOU COULD CALL! CHINAMAN At rast I find. You rike. I know. (HAROLD takes likghter, lights it -- a long flame is produced. HAROLD gleams ecstatically, eyes wide with pyromania.) HAROLD Perfect! (Takes several bills from his pocket and hands one over.) Just What I wanted! (HAROLD lights the lighter one more time. FLORA eyes the left-over bills, goes into a "trance", shaking.) What's the matter? FLORA The flame -- the flame -- it speaks to me! It speaks to me! HAROLD What? Well -- what does it say? FLORA Shh! We must get out of here first! (HAROLD and FLORA move downstage. A traveler drops, showing storefronts.) (SCENE: IN-1. A street in Chinatown.) HAROLD What is it saying? FLORA Silence! It's fading -- it's fading -- it's -- gone. I've lost contact. HAROLD What? FLORA I'm sorry -- but now I've got to conserve my strength, you see -- for my next paid seance. HAROLD Oh. Oh, well. But -- wait a minute -- what if I was to -that is -- what if I could pay you to reestablish contact? FLORA In advance? (HAROLD proffers bill.) Spirits that be! Bring all that can be seen, unto me! (FLORA takes bill.) Light the flame! (HAROLD lights lighter.) I see -- I see -- I see -- danger. HAROLD No. FLORA Yes. Is it to this man's person? HAROLD Couldn't be. I hardly go anywhere. FLORA No! It is not to his person. Is it -- is it to a loved one? HAROLD I don't know who you would mean. FLORA No! It is not to a loved one! Is it -- is it to his job? HAROLD My job! FLORA Yes! That's it! There is a crisis -- your job is at stake - soon will come the challenge -- you will be at the crossroads. On one path -- riches, honor, approbation -- HAROLD Yes, yes? FLORA On the other -- poverty, failure, ignominious ruin. HAROLD No, no! FLORA The challenge will come soon. You must be equal to it. You will need the help of the spirits -- and one in particular. Plume! HAROLD Plume? FLORA He will see all! Seek me again when you learn the challenge! And whatever you do, don't lose my card! (HAROLD puts her card in his hat's inner band.) And now -- goodbye -goodbye -- goodbye. (HAROLD crosses to side, then turns.) HAROLD But -- FLORA Good-by-y! (HAROLD exits. FLORA riffles bill to guarantee authenticity.) Such exhausting work. (FLORA looks around, afraid someone sees the bill; she hides it in her clothing. As she puts it away, she touches her lottery ticket, pulls it out.) JUST LIKE GOLD, IT'S GREAT TO HOLD MY TICKET -- FOR YOU KNOW I CAN DREAM TIL FIGMENTS GLEAM WITH REALISM'S GLOW! -- THAT'S SO! NOW, THOUGH, I MUST QUICKLY FLY FROM DANGER LURKING NEAR -- FOR THE PA- PERS TELL EACH DAY I SHOULD HAVE RACIAL FEAR! THAT IS ALL I HEAR! BUT I NEED MY CHANCE! IT'S GREED I FANC-Y INDEED, I'M ANTS-Y I WANT IT ALL! ALL! ALL! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ -------- Act I Scene 5. The First and Last Chance Saloon. PIRATES HERE'S TO THE SOUTHERN PACIFIC AND THE SOULS THEY GRIND UNDERFOOT. BUT UNLIKE THE MEN WHO HAVE TAME EVER BEEN THEM OYSTERS DON'T STAY WHERE THEY'RE PUT. NO! THEM OYSTERS DON'T STAY WHERE THEY'RE PUT. HOW MUCH ARE THEM OYSTERS WORTH? AS MUCH AS THE RAILROADS SAY! THEY'VE COME TO OWN ALL OF THE BEDS BUT NOT WHAT SAILS ON THE BAY! Hooray! HERE'S TO THE SOUTHERN PACIFIC THE RAILROAD MONOPOLY RUT AND HERE'S TO THE DAY YOU CAN SEE A DAY'S PAY BEFORE THEY HAVE TAKEN THE MEAT OFF THE BACON -BEFORE THEY HAVE TAKEN THEIR CUT! Yo! (JACK enters and whispers to the nearest man.) FIRST PIRATE FRENCH FRANK! (This request passed along in a chain.) SECOND PIRATE FRENCH FRANK! THIRD PIRATE FRENCH FRANK! FOURTH PIRATE FRENCH FRANK! FIFTH PIRATE OTHERS FRENCH --- FRA-A-ANK! AHHHH! FRANK (Rising from chair facing upstage) Vat is you vish vith French Frank?! JACK Well -- FRANK (to music) Come, vot you vant with French Frank, Ah? JACK (to music) Your oyster sloop's for sale and -- FRANK (to music) Hahahahahaha! You young milk sop -- JACK Why, look -- you're standin on your foot! (about to strike him) FRANK Vait a minute! Hokay, I buy you a drink, big man. I'll have viskey. JACK I'll have the same! FRANK I'll have a double! JACK I'll have the same! FRANK I'll have a triple! JACK I'll have the same! (Eye to eye, JACK and FRANK down the drinks.) FRANK (patter, to music) You know ve hafent nevaire seen a vun like you look quite so mean. I vundaire if you undairestand chust vot ve do, zis merry band? Tony, drinks all around! PIRATES IN DARKEST SHADOWS WE LET MOORINGS SLIP AND STEER BY STARS OR BY OUR EARS IN FOG OFF ON A DARING OYSTER RAIDING TRIP! WHEN TIDE IS FAIRLY OUT UPON THE BOG WE CREEP IN SILENCE OUT WITH OPEN BAGS AND REAP THE HARVEST-GOLD OF GOD'S OWN SEA -A SHOT RINGS OUT! WE KNOW THE MAN WHO LAGS BEHIND WILL LAG ETERNALLY! QUICKLY THE RACE IS ON TO MARKET PIER! STRETCH EV'RY SAIL YOU DARE! THE GOAL IS CLEAR: TO REACH IT FIRST! THE WINNING BUCCANEER WILL GET TOP DOLLAR AND THE DAY'S FIRST BEER! THE BEST MONEY'S PAID FOR THE FIRST OYSTERS THERE! SUPPLY AND DEMAND IS WHAT THEY THINK IS FAIR! FRANK (spoken) VOT KIND EXPER'ENCE YOU GOT, MON FRIEND? YOU BEEN OUT SAILIN' IN VOT, MON FRIEND? YOU MUST HAVE FIGGERED OUT ZIS AIN'T NO EASY BOUT-- MAYBE IT'S CAST A DOUBT UPON YOUR FEELING? JACK MY DAD HAD A THREE DOLLAR SKIFF, MY FRIEND! I SAILED IN ALL WEATHER, NOT IF, MY FRIEND! WHILE OTHERS WERE WAILING OF HIGH SEAS AND GAILING WHY, I WAS OUT SAILING, I FOUND THAT APPEALING! FRANK (spoken) A SREE DOLLAR SKIFF! BOY-OH, ZAT'S VAIRE NICE - BUT SREE HUNDRED DOLLARS' MY ROCK BOTTOM PRICE! IT'S FUNNY! I KNEW FROM ZE VAYS YOUR FACE VENT YOU HADN'T JACK Yeah? Well, there's ev'ry last cent! (Empties sock of gold pieces on table.) PIRATES HOHOHO! FRANK'S ALL WRONG! HAHAHA! I'LL LAUGH LONG OVER THIS! (PIRATES laugh. FRANK gives them a sudden icy stare. PIRATES suddenly stop.) FRANK (spoken) VELL, HERE IS ZE DEED, AND NOW YOU VILL NEED A CREW! SCRATCH ISS ZE MAN! HE ONLY ISS FREE! (PIRATES: Not Scratch!) SCRATCH ISS ZE MAN! ON ZE PIER HE VILL BE! 'COURSE YOU MIGHT BE NO MATCH FOR A SAILOR LIKE SCRATCH -- JACK I CAN SAIL WITH ANY MAN AT ALL! FRANK Zis is so? Perhaps it shall be, seeing you haff ze opportunity to learn from French Frank, ze greatest scoundrel of all time! Ahh! Seeing you zere takes me back so far -- back to my own first days as a cut-sroat svabbee. Golden days zey vuz, too! (Brass dissonant intro, including "oompah" bass) (Patter for verse; refrain is sung) Ven I vass young chust starting out I stood vere you now stand! I fell among ze biggest louts and varlets in ze land! Each vicked act from A to Z I Qvickly learned by rote - Zo proud in fact I vass to be ven I slit my first sroat! I VASS A VILLAIN MASTAIRE UF KILLIN LUCIFER WILLIN CHUST ME AND MY KNIFE! I VASS A PIRATE BLOOD-SIRSTY PIRATE I HAD FOUND MY LIT- TLE NICHE IN LIFE! FRANK (continued) Ah! I remembaire! Vat I learned at ze side uff Blackbeard! Zose ver ze days! He vass a great Teach er, chust ass I vill be to you. He gafe me high marks in strangling and neck breaking, and -- oh, yes, ze fine art uff keel-hauling! Ve vere so close -- so close -- until zat day ven I tried to kill him vith a meat cleaver. Pairhaps -- pairhaps you, also, vould -- (advances on JACK) JACK Perhaps you could teach me your technique with a meat cleaver sometime! FRANK Ye-e-e-es! (spoken) I LEARNED TO KILL IN EV'RY VAY ZERE VUZ UNDER ZE SUN ZO VITH A VILL I GAFE MY GAY YOUNG BLADE ITS SHARE OF FUN I USED MY TRUSTY PISTOL AND MY FAVORITE OAK PLANK AND SOON ZEY CHUSTLY GAFE A HAND TO ZE SCUMMEST DOG, FRENCH FRANK! (PIRATES applaud.) PIRATES FRANK HE WAS A VILLAIN! Yes! MASTER OF KILLIN' Zat's Right! LUCIFER WILLIN' He iss! FRANK PIRATES CHUST ME AND MY KNIFE! AH-AH-AH! PIRATES FRANK HE WAS A PIRATE (Bows.) BLOOD THIRSTY PIRATE Zat's so! FRANK I HAD FOUND MY LIT- TLE NICHE IN LIFE! Ah! Vot I learned at Barataria from Jean LaFitte! He vass a true master of ze sword, triumphing over Death! Ve stood togezzer, he and I, chust as I stand vith you now. Ve vere inseparable friends! Until -- until -- until zat day ven he spirited avay my beluffed -- Ah! (shakes, chokes JACK) I could haff killed him zen, killed him, killed him -- JACK With a meat cleaver! I hope you'll show me your technique some time! FRANK Uff course! Har -- har! FRANK (spoken) BUT FINALLY ZERE CAME ZE DAY OUR FUTURE VASS IN DOUBT ACROSS ZE SEA ZE U.S. NAVY CAME AND VIPED US OUT! VE SCATTERED FASTAIRE ZAN ZE DEVIL TO ELUDE ZAIRE NET; BUT HERE'S ZE LAST SENG I COULD NEVER BE SOON TO FORGET -- I AM A PIRATE PIRATES AHH! BLOOD THIRSTY PIRATE! FRANK IT'S SURELY MY LIT- TLE NICHE IN LIFE! (All come downstage. A traveler closes, showing the exterior of Johnny's bar.) PIRATES FRANK AH-AH-AH! AND ONCE A PIRATE! Vunce-- ALWAYS A PIRATE! Alvays! HE HAS THE SKY LIT UP WITH A BROAD SNEAR How true! CAUSE THAT WICKED PIRATE Me! TERRIBLE PIRATE Chust me! THAT MEANEST PIRATE Ahh! FRENCH FRANK IS HERE! FRANK Am I a scoundrel? PIRATES FRENCH FRANK IS HERE! FRANK Am I a hoodlum? PIRATES FRENCH FRANK IS HERE! FRANK Am I a hell-hound? Oh, I luff it! ALL FRENCH FRANK IS HE-E-ERE! Hey! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------- Act I, Scene 6. The sloop Razzle Dazzle at sea. JACK's head is over the side. He keeps a hand or leg on the tiller. JACK groans, throws water on his face. SCRATCH Eh? JACK Nothing. THE PRICE OF COMRADESHIP IS HIGH TO DRINK IS BAD ENOUGH, BUT BUY THAT MUCK AT SIX WHOLE BITS A THROW? AND THEN TO BUY A ROUND -- OOOOH! SCRATCH Eh? JACK Nothing. WHISKEY IS THE PIRATE'S BREW BUT CANDY'S WHAT MY HEART TURNS TO. A NICKLE FOR CANDY IS HEAVEN TO ME THAT BUYS FIVE CANNONBALLS, SWEET AS CAN BE OR A STICK OF THAT MEXICAN TAFFEE -- OLE! MARVELOUS STUFF THAT LASTS HALF OF THE DAY. BUT THIS MUST BE SECRET, AS SECRET IT'S BEEN THEY WON'T HAVE WHAT THEY THINK'S A BOY AMONG MEN A NICKLE FOR CANDY! OH, YES, WHEN I CAN BUT NOW I MUST BE A BOY PLAYING A MAN. SCRATCH Eh? JACK That must be all the English he knows. SCRATCH Naught true. I English knowing, speaking! I break man in three who mouthing my Englishing bad! JACK Uhh -- sure. You're very good at Englishing. SCRATCH And Oy-stairs. Knowing oy-stairs. Oy-stairs today pickings easy. JACK Easy for you. I felt as though I were dredging them up from King Neptune's cellar. SCRATCH Wassimple. Hard is beating Frenchies Frank back to pier. Eh? Sail More! (SCRATCH grabs rigging lines.) More! (JACK jumps up and grabs rigging line with him.) Heave ho! Heave ho! -- Is better! (Loud creaking noise.) JACK Are you sure we can take that much sail? (Louder creaking.) I'll take in a reef. SCRATCH No! We not! JACK What? The mast'll split into smithereens! SCRATCH No! (Throws rope aside. During the next number, SCRATCH advances on JACK in his enthusiasm; JACK keeps retreating and scrambling to avoid being knocked overboard.) DEY NOT TELLING YOU BOUT ME, DOT I CAN SEE! SO PRAY, HERE I AM SAY! AM SCRATCH POLSKI DA DARINGEST MAN UPON SEA! IS ME! NEVER VAS MORE ANY FEARINGLESS MADMAN BUT ME! YOU SEE! WILL NEVER REEF SAIL, NOT ONLY ONE PINCH OR MISSING DA DANGER BY OVER ONE INCH! SO BLOWING, HEAVENS! SMASHING, OCEANS! WINDS ARE STRAINING AT MASTS! I AM ALONE WHO OUTLASTS! I, FUMING AND SPOUTING, BELLOW AND SHOUTING! GIVING RIGHT BACK ALL OF PUNCHING YOU PACK! AM SCRATCH POLSKI DA DARINGEST MAN UPON SEA! (Creaking is more insistent.) JACK Look, couldn't we shorten sail just a little bit? SCRATCH AM SCRATCH POLSKI DA DARINGEST MAN UPON SEA! IS ME! NEVER VAS MORE ANY FEARINGLESS MADMAN BUT ME! YOU SEE! IF SEAMS DEY ARE STRAINING FROM SAILS PULLING TIGHT BUT BAILING AND BAILING AND NOT LOSING FIGHT! SO BLOWING HEAVENS! SMASHING, OCEANS! WINDS ARE STRAINING AT MASTS! I AM ALL LONE WHO OUTLASTS! I FUMING AND SPOUTING, BELLOW AND SHOUTING, GIVING RIGHT BACK ANY PUNCHING YOU PACK! AM SCRATCH POLSKI DA FIGHTINGEST SMIGHTINGEST DASHINGEST SMASHINGEST PUNCHINGEST CRUNCHINGEST MAN -- ON -- DA -- SEA! (JACK looks at SCRATCH, looks up at sail. The mast creaks horribly. Jack raises his hand, as if to ask again. SCRATCH raises both arms, as if to sing. JACK relents, SCRATCH relaxes. Repeat.) JACK But it's my boat! SCRATCH I'M -- JACK Never mind! Look -- can you take a turn in the braces? SCRATCH Aye aye! FRANK (offstage) Har Har! JACK It's French Frank astir! FRANK (offstage) ZAT'S TRUE FOR SURE! JACK SHEAR OFF, TURN WIDE, OR WE'LL BOTH COLLIDE! FRANK (offstage or behind scrim or pictured on slide) ZAT'S ZE IDEE! TO CRASH, TO SINK! I'LL MANAGE ZE CRASH, YOU TAKE TO ZE DRINK! YOU TWO, VITH EGOES FANNED SINK YOURSELF SO GRAND! AH, YES, WHEN I'M DONE, SINK OF ZE FUN! SINK OF ZE LARK, VATCHING YOU RACE ZE SHARK! AND ZEN EAT HIM, OR VERSA VICE -- ZAT MIGHT BE, HAR HAR, CHUST AS NICE! JACK (takes up shotgun, cocks it, levels it) SHEAR OFF! BY ALL THE STRENGTH I OWN I WON'T BE GONE TO HELL ALONE! (aims) FRANK (offstage) Come about! Oh, zere'll be ozzer times! I vill get efen, and zen, revenge vill be sveet! SCRATCH Nothing bad! Talking will be of this! It is to remember! Frenchies Franks facing down! JACK AND SCRATCH AM SCRATCH POLSKI AND JACK LONDON DA DARINGEST MANS UPON SEA! IS WE! NEVER VAS MORE ANY DARINGER MADMANS DAN WE! YOU SEE! SCRATCH WHEN FRENCHIES FRANK'S TRYING TO RAM US AND SINK JACK WE FACED HIM TOGETHER WITH NARY A BLINK JACK (MELODY) SCRATCH (HARMONY) SO BLOW, HEAVENS! SO BLOWING, HEAVENS! SMASH, OCEANS! SMASHING, OCEANS! WINDS YOU STRAIN AT OUR MAST! WINDS ARE STRAINING AT MAST! WE'LL BE THE ONES WHO OUTLAST! WE'LL BEING ONES WHO OUTLAST! JACK NOW WE'RE A TEAM AND THE BEST WE CAN BE! SCRATCH WHOLE WORLD IS FORCING TOO SOON TO AGREE BOTH WE'RE SCRATCH POLSKI AND JACK LONDON THE DARINGEST MEN ON THE SEA! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ --------- Scene I-7. An imposing corporate office (traveler scene). (HAROLD pantomimes knocking on a door facing downstage at down center.) VOICE (deep, from everywhere) Come in. HAROLD (Opens big, heavy, pantomimed door) Uhh, sir -- you sent for me? VOICE Oh, yes. Hensley, is it? Hensley -- I've been looking through our books -- and, I must say, I am not amused. HAROLD Uhh -- nothing amusing in the books, sir. VOICE Where is the profit from our oyster fields? It has virtually evaporated since last year. And yet every restaurant I go to is selling oysters, oysters, oysters! What is the problem? HAROLD Uhh, sir -- it is the fiendish work of those oyster pirates. VOICE Oyster pirates? I'm not so sure. I think perhaps you are the problem, Hensley. HAROLD Me? Oh, but sir, you can't be serious -- VOICE What? HAROLD I mean -- of course, sir , you are always serious -- I -- VOICE Look -- whatever the problem is -- take care of it! HAROLD Yes, sir. VOICE Or I will take care of it. HAROLD Uhh -- yessir! (HAROLD exits office, closing door. Walking forelornly away, HAROLD reaches the edge of the proscenium, tires, leans back against it, fans himself with his hat, out of breath. Looking in, he notices FLORA's card in the inner band. HAROLD takes the card out and reads:) Madame Flora! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------- Act I, Scene 8. First and Last Chance Bar (same as Scene 5). SCRATCH and JACK at a table. SCRATCH Each one hundred dollars! Pickings good! JACK A hundred dollars. SCRATCH Frenchies Frank will be maddest. He's no get top dollar. JACK He tried to kill us! SCRATCH Eh? Oh, he always trying killing peoples. JACK All the same -- I'd feel more comfortable with a lot of friends around me, next time I see him. SCRATCH Friends, not. Pals. JACK Pals? SCRATCH Issimple. You buy man's drink, is pal. JACK Pal. MAMIE (enters, followed by EDNA) Dum--du--du--dum--dum--dum! SCRATCH Queen! JACK What? SCRATCH Doffing cap to thee, oh queen. (SCRATCH takes off his hat, bows.) MAMIE Acknowledged, kind sir. You may sit. (Notices JACK with hat on.) But who is this knave with soul so brave he'd dare to venture our royal censure? JACK What? MAMIE Advance, varlet, and learn what hath our royal mind composed in wrath! JACK I don't -- SCRATCH Rules of roost! I forgetting to tell. Jack, meet Queen of Oyster Beds! JACK Hello, Mamie. (MAMIE looks straight at him, stunned, then runs from the room, to a portion of the set exterior to the bar, crying.) What'd I do? (JACK goes after MAMIE.) EDNA Don't you go far, now, child! (Lights dim on interior, brighten on exterior.) JACK What's the matter? Are you all right, Mamie? MAMIE Don't call me by that name! Guinevere, maybe, or Cleopatra, perhaps. But not ... that. It's too -- too -- ordinary. How did you know my -- old name? JACK Because! I was in your class in fifth grade, that's why. Don't you remember me? MAMIE Johnny? JACK Well, that's something we've got in common, I guess. Now I'm Jack -- Jack, for bein' a sport and afraid of nothin'! MAMIE But you were never afraid of anything -- Jack. You were always getting in fights. You wouldn't even give in when the principal told you to shake hands that time. JACK That was Mike Panella! He called me a sissy for readin' at recess. I didn't care if Mr. Garlick gave me a million licks with that paddle of his, I wasn't going to shake hands with Mike Panella. Especially after him knocking reading! Books are maybe the only worthwhile thing in this ordinary life. They have ideas that are the only real means to elevate the soul! -- not that mumbo jumbo of my mother's. Books -- Why, if I ever run into Mike Panella again, sometime -- ! MAMIE Calm down! Jack, you are definitely somebody. You don't have to worry about that. The difference is, I'm only a particular person in my imagination -- when I'm Queen of the Oyster Beds. JACK Is that what you want to be? A queen? Or what? MAMIE I don't know, Jack. That's the problem -- I don't know. I WANT TO GO AND BE SOMEBODY MORE THAN A FACELESS FACE I WANT TO BE COMPLETELY DIFF'RENT NOT JUST A HEIGHT, A WEIGHT, A RACE! YOU SEE, UNTIL YOU ARE SOMEBODY NO ONE CAN CARE OR LOVE YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER SOUL DOWN A DEEP AND SILENT HOLE AND LIFE'S WHAT YOU'RE DREAMING OF. I KNOW THAT I CAN BE MUCH MORE THAN SIMPLY ME I'M ONLY LACKING OPPORTUNITY. I WANT TO GO AND BE SOMEBODY SOMEBODY PROUD TO BE ME! (Lights crossfade to EDNA and SCRATCH. SCRATCH raises his glass to his lips, but EDNA looks away, fidgeting uncomfortably) SCRATCH (Goes to EDNA) Is anything I can getting you? EDNA Don't -- touch -- me. SCRATCH Uhh -- touching? EDNA I know you sailors, you're all alike, you see a girl, you want to take her in your arms, and the next thing you know, you're out to sea again and she with a little one on the way! And do you care when the big day comes and goes and who is stuck with dirty diapers and laundry up to here? And so don't -- touch -- me. SCRATCH Is not touching. Is not touching! EDNA -- Why not? SCRATCH Eh? EDNA Aren't I good enough? SCRATCH Uhh -- EDNA If there's one thing I can't stand it's a misguided male who can't relate to a woman unless she has ruby lips, painted eyebrows, false eyelashes, an obscene bust and a scarlet letter to match! SCRATCH Uhh -- what? EDNA That's right! Feign ignorance! But a woman's heart knows all! It tells me that right now you say you don't care, but you do! You say you are a gentleman, but you are not! You say you wish to do the right thing, but right now, you want to make mad, passionate love to me! SCRATCH I'm all that saying? EDNA There! You admit you want to make mad, passionate love to me! (SCRATCH, backing away, bumps into something, bounces off into EDNA's arms.) Using those big arms -- those big shoulders -- those big knuckles -- SCRATCH Knuckles? EDNA Yes, why, they're so threatening, a girl doesn't have a chance, and the next thing you know -- (EDNA kisses SCRATCH) MAMIE (enters) What?! Again? EDNA We were -- we were -- dancing! (looks around suddenly.) That's funny. The music stopped! MAMIE Really, Miss Edna! I'm getting tired of this! You're supposed to be my chaperone, but things keep turning in the opposite direction. EDNA Now I ask you, child, can I help it if I'm irresistible? MAMIE Only because all men are weak! SCRATCH Weak?! I skulls breaking! I bones cracking! I -- MAMIE Doff thy cap, varlet! SCRATCH Uhh -- er -- (slowly takes off cap.) MAMIE (To JACK) And you? JACK As you explained, we sometimes need to trade the sanity of life for sweet charade. (JACK takes hat off in sweeping bow.) MAMIE Thank you. Outside the earth is bleak and so severe, but Oyster Pirates are my world in here. Hark, they return! (retreats to door.) A queen must have her entrance. (exits.) PIRATES (entering in procession) IN DARKEST SHADOWS WE LET MOORINGS SLIP AND STEER BY STARS, OR BY OUR EARS IN FOG OFF ON A DARING OYSTER-RAIDING TRIP! WHEN TIDE IS FAIRLY OUT UPON THE BOG WE STEAL IN SILENCE OUT WITH OPEN BAGS AND REAP THE HARVEST-GOLD OF GOD'S OWN SEA. A SHOT RINGS OUT! WE KNOW THE MAN WHO LAGS BEHIND WILL LAG ETERNALLY. FIRST PIRATE (playfully) Bang! SECOND PIRATE Argh, this be the end, matey! (Suddenly, the fun is interrupted as JACK is noticed. All the PIRATES become serious-faced.) FIRST PIRATE You held the shotgun to French Frank, and was about to pull the trigger! (General mumbling, The PIRATES close in.) JACK Yes, quite an occasion. Drinks all around to celebrate! (Cheers.) PIRATES JACK LONDON! JACK LONDON! BRAVE AS A WAVE ON THE SEA! FAST- SAILING! UNFAILING! PRINCE OF THE PIRATES IS HE! HE FACED FRENCH FRANK DOWN ONE TERRIBLE NIGHT! THERE'S NOT A SWAB WHO'LL FORGET THE SIGHT! AND WHEN HE SAILS TO THE BAR YOU'RE HIS PAL, YOU ARE! JACK LONDON! JACK LONDON! BRAVE AS A WAVE ON THE SEA! FAST-SAILING! UNFAILING! PRINCE OF THE PIRATES IS HE! OH! -- PRINCE OF THE PIRATES IS HE! JACK Johnny! Another round like the other! (SCRATCH makes the "OK" sign. MAMIE enters.) PIRATE The Queen! PIRATES I DOFF MY CAP TO THEE, OH QUEEN FEALTY I DO SWEAR! MY STRONG RIGHT ARM TO THEE, OH QUEEN! LEAD ME BUT ANYWHERE! MAMIE YOU ARE KIND WHO PLEDGE YOUR MIND AND HAND. BUT TELL ME WHO YOU'VE ADDED TO YOUR BAND? PIRATES JACK LONDON! JACK LONDON! BRAVE AS A WAVE ON THE SEA! FAST-SAILING! UNFAILING! PRINCE OF THE PIRATES IS HE! MAMIE Prince? I have to look askance; A real prince -- KNOWS HOW TO DANCE! (Spanish dance on tables to version of "Pirate Processional." MAMIE dances with a kerchief in one hand. Music is ostensibly provided by a hexagonal accordion and a harmonica.) (FRENCH FRANK enters, fires a shot in the air.) FRANK I let you two get avay, and zis is vot I get, ay? Vell, I vill get even, and zen -- Revenge vill be sveet! JACK What? FRANK She iss mine! Ve vill ved ven she's sixteen. EDNA Well, she's sixteen already; that shows what you know! (MAMIE glares at EDNA.) FRANK Zis kerchief I'll take til ze date ve make. (FRANK takes MAMIE's kerchief.) MAMIE Frank, we're not getting married! N - O - T. Not! (MAMIE snatches her kerchief back, and, as a gesture of defiance, gives it to JACK. MAMIE leaves the tavern, crossing to the onstage tavern exterior. EDNA, making her way out, turns up her nose at FRANK and gives her kerchief to SCRATCH, making a nodding gesture of "so there." LIGHTS brighten on the area outside the bar. SPIDER, one of the PIRATES, leaves the bar and catches up to MAMIE and EDNA.) SPIDER Girls! MAMIE Uncle Spider! SPIDER Before you two go, take this so the month's rent is paid, and so's Miss Edna. MAMIE That's why we came! But the run-in with French Frank made me forget. Oh, Uncle Spider, our life could be much more debt free if you didn't spend so much at this bar! SPIDER Mamie! I make a promise -- someday you'll learn I don't waste all I earn. MAMIE What? Oh, Uncle Spider, you do have pleasant dreams! (MAMIE, EDNA exit as lights emphasize bar interior.) FRANK No vun takes French Frank's girl from him! JACK Yeah? FRANK Yes! I vill get even -- and zen, -- and so forth. Ahh! (FRANK launches himself at JACK. General fighting begins, music under. In the confusion, some PIRATES step on others' toes, etc. FRANK draws his revolver.) You got too much fight in you! I shoot off your ears, zen ve see how much you got left! (FRANK levels the gun.) SCRATCH No! (SCRATCH grabs gun barrel as it goes off.) Ah! (SCRATCH is wounded in the hand. A PIRATE hits SCRATCH with his fist.) FRANK Shame on you hitting a one-armed man! (FRANK hits the PIRATE with the butt of his gun. SCRATCH clobbers FRANK with his other fist. Next, SCRATCH and JACK crawl out of the piled-up confusion and escape the bar, SCRATCH grabbing a bottle of whiskey on the way out. Music continues, thru) (FADE TO BLACK.) ------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------- Act I, Scene 9. Jack's Front Porch. FLORA, PLUME and ST PETER on porch. PLUME and ST PETER show signs of boredom, listening to FLORA carry on. FLORA -- and I tell you when that boy gets home, I'm gonna tan his hide but good! The foreman at Hickmott's doesn't know where the devil he is -- uhh, sorry there -- ST PETER It's all right. FLORA And I don't know how many to cook for -- or what's going on! This isn't any hotel here! People just can't check in and check out at all hours! This is supposed to be a home! How do I know where he is? I oughta have the police drag the river -- PLUME Ug. Madame Flora, you heap upset! FLORA Upset? I'm not upset! (Yells) Who's upset? ST PETER Calm Thyself. This will be as nothing a few centuries from now. FLORA That's easy for you to say. PLUME Need see all! See bigger world! FLORA Oh, come on! You guys have to realize, every woman undergoes this trial. Jenny, for example, she said she's having almost the same problem -- ST PETER But she approaches it differently. FLORA Differently?! Differently my -- ST PETER (extends his hand. FLORA is suddenly in a trance.) Differently. PLUME Ug! That preety good medicine! Must teach to me, Great Father! ST PETER (to FLORA.) You are Mammy Jenny. You are Mammy Jenny. FLORA I am Mammy Jenny. I am -- Durn that man, anyhow. He jes' won' stay home! PLUME You sure can't leave this way? This heap good magic. ST PETER Some mortals just don't realize when they're up against professionals. FLORA I'll jes' make the bes' of it, I guess. But St Pete, ol friend, I ask you, how long? How long mus' I be bearin' all this? ST PETER What do you mean? FLORA WHEN WILL DAT MAN COME HOME TO ME? WHEN WILL HE REALIZE DAT HE CAN'T CARRY ON FROM DUSK UNTIL DAWN NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. HOUSE IS JUS' LIKE AN ANCIENT TOMB DOESN' HE'P GOIN' ROOM TO ROOM IT'S ALL DE SAME, HE'S PLAYIN' DIS GAME NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. OH, I WONDER WHAT HE'S DOIN', BUT IT DON'T DO ME NO GOOD OH, WHY CAN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT I WILL WORRY AND I SHOULD. THINKIN' OF WAYS TO MAKE HIM STICK SOMETIMES I WISH'D HE'D COME DOWN SICK -- (pantomimes thermometer) A hundred and ten? He'd stay home den! NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. IS HE IN JAIL OR IN DE GRAVE? SUCH THOUGHTS DON' MAKE ME FEEL SO BRAVE I JUS' CAN'T WIN UNTIL HE COMES IN NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. OH, I KNOW DERE IS A TIME WHEN EV'RY MAN MUS' PROVE HE'S FREE AN' MY SECOND SENSE IS SAYING DIS CAN'T LAST ETERNALLY. RUNNIN' BECOMES OL' RUNAROUND HOWLIN' JES TALKIN' LIKE A HOUND AFTER DAT DAY HE'S HOME AND TO STAY NIGHT AFTER NIGHT -- NIGHT -- AF-TER -- NIGHT! Well! My goo'ness! Ah jus' did not realize ah had comp'ny! Why don' y'all set a spell an' put yo' feet up? ST PETER (TO PLUME) My son, I think you have hit on the right alternative. Maybe we'll leave her this way. (JACK enters, carrying SCRATCH fireman-style. SCRATCH drips blood, waves bottle.) FLORA How's you doin', Jack? Thass a fine-lookin' friend you got there. (Holds door open.) Why don' you jes' take him in the house an' get him a piece of Key Lime pie out'n the ice box? JACK Sure, mother. -- Mother? Are you alright? FLORA Sho, honey chile. (JACK gives FLORA a strange look as he exits into the house with SCRATCH. On the way in, SCRATCH smudges the porch post with blood.) ST PETER Verily, though -- this is too obvious to others. One of our Directives From On High says we have to work in mysterious ways. I suppose I'd better -- PLUME Ug! No changeum now! HAROLD Ah! Mrs. London! FLORA Well-well! Ifi' taint -- well, you've got a awful far-miliar face, there. What's yore problem, Mistah? HAROLD Why, I thought you'd know -- say, are you -- you are Mrs. London, aren't you? ST PETER Uh-oh. FLORA Why, sho! I mean -- no, I mean -- ST PETER This can't go on. PLUME (shouts) Waitum! (ST PETER makes gesture. FLORA blinks.) HAROLD Mrs. London!? Are you quite all right? FLORA Yes I -- I haven't been MYSELF lately. (Angry, suspicious, broad glance at ST PETER, who looks away, innocently stroking a small harp.) HAROLD Madame Flora, I came to see you because you're the only one I can trust to help me in this dark hour. FLORA Well! (Looking at PLUME) I wish I could trust someone! It would be a nice change! My mind wouldn't be clouded with cheap sayings, like, "the only good Indian is a dead Indian!" PLUME But -- but, me is dead! FLORA (eyes ST PETER) Or -- or, "rob Peter to pay Paul!" ST PETER I despise Paul! Always rubbing it in about all the GATE DUTY I have to pull! HAROLD Well, Madame Flora, let me fill you in! Everything you predicted about impending doom to my career has taken place! But the Oyster Pirates had a big fight, and -- FLORA The oyster pirates! HAROLD Yes. A terrible fight. Some trailed blood home. FLORA (wipes up some blood off the porch post on her fingers.) Blood? (FLORA's eyes light up as she remembers.) HAROLD Yes! And I thought -- while they were divided, why, I'd track 'em down! I've got to, to save my job. And I'm all prepared! (pulls out revolver.) Guns, and (other pocket, with obvious relish) f-f- firebombs! Heh-heh! I can't wait! Just let me find some of those bloodied ruffians, and I'm all ready to rub them out! JACK (offstage) What's going on out there? HAROLD Who's that? FLORA Uhh -- a spirit! HAROLD Ahh -- Plume, then? You said we would need to consult him! PLUME It not me. FLORA Uhh -- no, it's -- (door starts to open outwards. FLORA jumps for it, pushes it closed.) JACK (offstage) Who's out there? FLORA It's -- Plume's terrible cousin, Redfeather! (JACK attempts to push open the door with several mighty shoves. The door opens outward one or two inches each time, but FLORA, back to the door, pushes it closed each time.) ST PETER Redfeather? PLUME Ug! Redfeather, him heap bad trouble! -- I think. FLORA (chants) Redfeather, return! (shouts) Return, or it's the belt for you! (sudden quiet. FLORA exhales.) HAROLD The belt? FLORA Uhh -- yes. The Great Belt of Pseudoprognosticus! It has mighty powers far beyond the ken of mortal man. PLUME Funny -- me not hear of Great Belt before. HAROLD Well, now, Madame Flora, perhaps at this time I can enlist your aid in catching these horrendous oyster pirates, before they bleed my company dry! FLORA Your company? HAROLD Oh! Heh-heh! I neglected to inform you -- I am employed by Southern Pacific. FLORA Ah, yes, the railroad. The RICH railroad. The FABULOUSLY WEALTHY railroad. HAROLD Er -- yes. FLORA And how much is the fabulously wealthy railroad willing to pay for such a service? HAROLD When they're captured? Ah -- well -- a hundred dollars! FLORA A thousand! HAROLD Five hundred! FLORA Done! And something down! (takes bill) And now -- Plume, Plume, speak to me, Plume! PLUME Okay. But me know nothing about oyster pirates! FLORA What's that, Plume? He says, he knows everything about the oyster pirates! HAROLD Outstanding! FLORA Tell me, Plume, how can Mister -- Mister -- HAROLD Hensley -- Harold Hensley. FLORA How can Mr. Hensley catch the oyster pirates? PLUME Me would tell you if me could. FLORA He says, he won't tell! HAROLD Oh, no! FLORA Plume, Plume, what is their weakness? ST PETER What a waste of time. PLUME (points at ST PETER) Ask-um him! Him think him know everything! ST PETER Almost. FLORA Is their weakness -- is it -- is it knowledge? HAROLD No. The oyster pirates know these waters well -- FLORA (cranes head "listening" to PLUME.) It isn't knowledge! Is it -- is it skill? Speed? Overconfidence? Greed? HAROLD Well -- FLORA (Opens door, sniffs) Is it -- vice? Alcohol, perhaps? HAROLD That's it! We'll bait the trap! Brilliant! FLORA As always. And now adieu -- adieu -- adieu. I'll see you soon. HAROLD At the moment of victory! (exits.) ST PETER Shame -- shame on you. Selling out your own son! FLORA Oh, son, schmun. He won't be an oyster pirate long. The Great Belt of Pseudoprognosticus will see to that! (turns to enter house.) ST PETER (points at FLORA. She freezes.) I do so detest uncivilized behavior. (FLORA turns, with great effort, extends arm, shakes in great, rolling motions while concentrating on ST PETER. ST PETER shakes off FLORA's concentration several times, then suddenly breaks down; he moves about as a mechanical bear in a shooting gallery, reversing, back and forth.) ST PETER (A Capella, falsetto) WHEN WILL THAT MAN COME HOME TO ME! WHEN WILL THAT MAN COME HOME TO ME! WHEN WILL THAT MAN -- FLORA (shouts) Stop! -- (speaks) That song -- it reminds me of my long lost husband, John. (Slowly) WHEN WILL THAT MAN COME HOME TO ME? OH, WHEN WILL I REALIZE THAT THAT HE'S LONG GONE AWAY, AND, LONG GONE TO STAY NIGHT AFTER NIGHT? YES, WE DID ARGUE UP A STORM. NEXT THING I KNOW, MY BED'S NOT WARM -- WET, LONESOME TEARS, AND, NOW IT'S BEEN YEARS, NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. OH, I FEEL IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I'VE BEEN LOVED BY A MAN. NO, I DON'T KNOW IF I TRIED TO FIND A LOVER THAT I CAN. ON THE OUTSIDE I'M GROWING OLD. ON THE INSIDE I'M GROWING COLD. (Spoken) I wish I had a plan to feel the touch of a man -- NIGHT AFTER -- (stops, voice cracking) (ST PETER shakes off his counter-trance, suddenly extends his arms at FLORA. FLORA is suddenly transformed to JENNY again. Sung, with spirit:) NIGHT AFTER NIGHT! NIGHT AFTER -- EVER AFTER -- NIGHT -- AFTER -- NIGHT! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------- Act I, Scene 10. Jack's boat, at sea. (JACK and MAMIE seated at one end, SCRATCH and EDNA at the other, drinking wine in tumblers.) JACK -- and then she treats us like kings for two whole hours - cooks for us, and even makes dessert! Mother never makes desserts! And, then! Then, suddenly, she blinks once or twice, like she's waking up, or something, and the next thing I know she's chasing us with a leather strap, and yelling something about the Belt of Pseudo- something-or other. Well, we lit out of there as fast as we could. MAMIE Sort of like having a pirate for an uncle. I can understand that. It's always stormy weather at our house -- just like today. It looks so threatening. JACK Don't worry about that. SCRATCH and I can sail through anything, come thunder, wind, or rain! (Crossfade to SCRATCH and EDNA.) EDNA And it's a very demanding career, keeping after that girl! I wouldn't do it, but I've been saving myself for the right man with big, broad arms and big shoulders! The kind of man who would just sweep me off my feet and carry me away to his house on a hill. SCRATCH Oh. Not having house on a hill. EDNA Well, who knows -- I might settle for a house -- anywhere. SCRATCH Too badly. I not having house at all. EDNA Where -- where is your home, then? SCRATCH Home? Home is -- boat. Home is -- ocean. EDNA You know something? It happens that I like the ocean very much. SCRATCH Is true? EDNA Why, certainly. When you're out at sea, you're free to do whatever you want. No neighbors to complain, or police to haul you away. -- Not that the police would haul you away, you understand. I'm so glad you aren't rowdy like the others. They're always constantly in fights, getting shot up. You, why, you've even worn my scarf. But why on your hand? SCRATCH Easier -- to lay over heart. EDNA Oh, my! (EDNA cups SCRATCH's hand in hers, SCRATCH turns away to disguise wincing. EDNA turns SCRATCH's head around and kisses him.) MAMIE Miss Edna! Again? EDNA We were only discussing something -- the merits of being out at sea, away from a world of propriety. A purely intellectual discussion, I assure you. MAMIE Looked like smooching to me. EDNA Sometimes symbology is absolutely necessary. Loosen up! WHAT YOU ARE AIN'T WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THAT IS FAR IN WAY BACK WHEN NOW YOU'RE RUNNING FREE, YOU'RE OUT AT SEA! MAMIE Oh, come off it, Miss Edna. EDNA DON'T MIND GRIM SOCIETY FORGET IMPROPRIETY THINK OF WHAT CAN BE, YOU'RE OUT AT SEA! MAMIE She's always going on like this. EDNA IF YOU'VE EVER HAD A FLEETING FEELING, SO APPEALING, THAT YOU DREAMED. NOW'S THE TIME TO TRY IT OUT IDEALLY, MAKE IT REALLY WHAT IT SEEMED. SO DON'T HOLD BACK, JUST LET IT OUT! GET THE KNACK FOR CURING DOUBT! THINK CREATIVELY! YOU'RE OUT AT SEA! MAMIE ANY OTHER PERSON I COULD BRING TO MIND, IT RINGS TRUE SO MUCH MORE. I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING YOU'VE KEPT MUM THAT YOU'VE KEPT FROM ME ON SHORE. SO, TELL US ALL OR HOLD YOUR TONGUE WHAT'S SO APPALLINGLY UNSUNG? WHAT'S THE NOVELTY OF LIFE AT SEA? EDNA (music under: vamp) Put up or shut up, eh? Well, you don't know everything, Miss Smart Pants! Everybody has one more wild dream under their hat! And I have mine! A BOOM BOOM LADY A BOOM BOOM LADY THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE! WITH BOOM BOOM SASHES BOOM BOOM EYELASHES SASHAYING ON A MUSICAL SPREE! I'VE ALWAYS SUNG THE HYMN AND DONE THE PRIM AND PROPER. BUT NOW WITHOUT A DOUBT I MUST PULL OUT THE STOPPER! A BOOM BOOM LADY! A BOOM BOOM LADY! THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE! (To DRUM SOLO, EDNA drops off her dress, revealing a lacy undergarment.) MAMIE Miss Edna! EDNA Listen, child, I'll teach you something: WHEN YOU GET AS OLD AS I DON'T YOU LET TIME PASS YOU BY AND ESPECIALLY WHEN OUT AT SEA! GIVE A TRY AT EV'RYTHING TIME GOES BY SO HAVE YOUR FLING LISTEN TO MY PLEA, YOU'RE OUT AT SEA! STANDING HERE YOU'RE ONLY GROWING OLDER DON'T COLD-SHOULDER A NEW TWIST! ONCE YOU GET THE KNACK THEN YOU WON'T RUE DAYS YOU'LL SEE NEW DAYS YOU ONCE MISSED! MAMIE What the heck! EDNA and MAMIE SO LET THIS BEAT TURN PROSE TO RHYME KICK YOUR FEET UP DOUBLE TIME DON'T PLEAD MODESTY, YOU'RE OUT AT SEA! (To DRUM SOLO, MAMIE slips off dress, revealing similar undergarment.) EDNA and MAMIE A BOOM BOOM LADY A BOOM BOOM LADY THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE! WITH BOOM BOOM KICKERS AND BOOM BOOM KNICKERS KNOCKING THEIR EYES OUT SO MERRILY! WE'VE GOT THAT DEVIL RHYTHM AND WE'RE WITH'M SURELY BUT WE'LL ENJOY THE FUN OF WHAT WE'VE DONE IMPURELY! A BOOM BOOM LADY! A BOOM BOOM LADY! THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE! JACK SCRATCH, MAMIE, EDNA THIS SHOW SURELY AIN'T THE KIND AH-AH-AH THAT I PURELY HAD IN MIND AH-AH-AH BUT, QUITE HAPPILY, WE'RE OUT AT SEA! AH-AH-AH (POINTS AT BOTTLE) JOHN BARLEY HAS US IN TOW AH-AH-AH FEEL HIS SECRET EBB AND FLOW AH-AH-AH BUT WHY FIGHT SUCH GLEE? WE'RE OUT AT SEA! AH-AH-AH ALL EV'RYONE HERE'S LIVING AT A TEMPO GIVING THEM PRO- LIFIC FUN! WHY SHOULD WE ALL WORRY WHAT THE WORLD DOES WHEN THE WORLD WAS POORLY DONE? SO SHAKE YOUR BONES AND SPIRIT TOO LIFTING TONES THAT LIFT UP YOU IT'S A CERTAINTY WE'RE OUT AT SEA! (ALL: short dance.) ALL DON'T GET CAUGHT AWAITIN FOR THE FUTURE IT MAY SUIT YER OR MAY NOT! FATE IS LURKIN' ROUND OF EV'RY CORNER HE'S AN ORNER -Y OLD SOT! -- OH, SOON WE'LL SHOUT AND RAVE AND RANT CRYING OUT REGRET WE CAN'T SPEND ETERNITY HERE OUT AT SEA -- LET'S -- EN -- JOY -- JUST -- BE -- -ING OUT AT SEA! LOUD VOICE Ahoy there! EDNA and MAMIE Eeek! LOUD VOICE Warning flag is up! Head for the harbor! We're in for a blow! JACK Sure enough! Come about, Lieutenant Scratch! SCRATCH Aye-aye! Come-abouting! EDNA What a shame we have to go back to a world where you both can be killed or imprisoned on any one day. SCRATCH (Looking straight into EDNA's eyes) Yes. I see now, is problem! JACK Oh, it's nothing! IT'S A CERT -AINTY WE FLIRT WITH TROUBLE, IT'S A DOUBLE ED-GED SWORD. LIFE COULD NOT BE SIMPLY WHAT WE WANTED FOR UNDAUNTED WE'D BE BORED! JACK AND SCRATCH MAMIE AND EDNA SO PLAY LIFE FAST AND LOOSE FOR NOW BUT BEWARE! MAKE YOUR PAST THE FRAME FOR HOW BUT TAKE CARE! DREAMED ADVENTURES REACH REALITY YOU MAY BE FINDING WHAT YOU DIDN'T BARGAIN FOR! FORTUNE'S CALLING ME What's a girl to do? ALL FAR OUT AT SEA! (Furious dancing to dissonant bass. FRANK and FLORA shown behind scrim, gesturing; OR, a scrim is lowered; on the scrim surface is a slide of FLORA extending her fingers magically around a crystal ball, as PLUME and ST PETER look on; this slide is interchanged back and forth with another slide, showing FLORA thus waving her hands over the crystal ball as) (THE CURTAIN FALLS.) ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------------------- Act II Scene 1. (JACK and SCRATCH see many run by in front of scrim, which shows a row of shops, same as end scene 4.) JACK What's all the commotion? RUNNER Free booze if we carry a torch in the rally! Come on! (ALL exit, lights up behind the scrim traveler showing men marching in place as music vamps. ALL march forward, torches lit, as curtain opens. They carry signs saying "Vote" "He's the One!" etc.; the signs' drawings of the candidate's face are deliberately illegible) ALL WE KNOW THE MAN THAT YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR, BRAVE, TOUGH, AND SMART, AND UNAFRAID GEN'ROUS WITH LOVE OR BEER WE KNOW, JUST ASK US, WE'RE THE HANCOCK FIRE BRIGADE! ONE MAN YOUR BALLOT SHOULD BE WROTE FOR, ONE MAN WHO WON'T MAKE YOU DISMAYED! YOU'LL BE WELL-FED AND ALCOHOLED -- WE KNOW, SURE AS WE'RE CALLED THE HANCOCK FIRE BRIGADE WE'LL ATTEST HE'S THE BEST IN THE LAND HE'S SO FAR KEPT THE BAR FULLY MANNED IT'S HIS WISH ON THE IS- -SUES YOU THINK AND WHAT'S MORE HE WILL POUR YOU A DRINK! THERE'S JUST ONE MAN I'LL STAND AND QUOTE FOR HIS MESSAGE MUST BE FULLY WEIGHED HE IS WHO BOUGHT THE BOOZE IF YOU FORGET, JUST DON'T ACCUSE THE HANCOCK FIRE BRIGADE -- HANCOCK FIRE BRIGADE! Ho! (The torches are dumped in buckets. ALL run for the bar, at the side of the stage. General commotion. When the bartender is too slow pouring drinks, the bar is raided. JACK and SCRATCH pull away from the bar, each with a bottle.) SCRATCH Ah! Jack -- This I'm drinking to the sea I'm leaving. JACK What? SCRATCH It is end, Jack. I'm working going. Thinking Hickmott's factory you are telling me about. JACK Oh, no, Scratch, you can't be -- it's an awful -- you're really stuck on Miss Edna, aren't you? SCRATCH She alrighting. I am not stucking. I -- just too much salt getting these days, thinking. JACK You mean soft-getting. SCRATCH The sea, and men with guns, are not losing always. This I'm always knowing. All is, who cares when nothing you're having. When something you're having -- JACK But the factory -- SCRATCH Is for now only being. And this last on-carrying, tonight. JACK We'll make the most of it, pal! FIRST DRINKER OH, WE THOUGHT, "SHOULD WE OUGHT GIVE A TEA?" (CHORUS pantomimes drinking tea, holding cups daintily) SECOND DRINKER OR A DANCE AND GO PRANCE PRETTILY -- (CHORUS dances daintily in pairs, others curtsying.) THIRD DRINKER A SOI-REE! OH, THE FE-MALES JUST DOTE! (CHORUS nibbles on dainty sandwiches) FOURTH DRINKER (Bass) WHO CARES WHEN IT'S THE MEN HAVE THE VOTE! More Beer! CHORUS (moves to center on cadence-vamp) THIS IS A DAY THAT WE'LL REMEMBER AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE PARADE TIME PASSES HUNK BY HUNK MEASURED FROM DRUNK TO DRUNK BY HANCOCK'S FIRE BRIGADE -- THE HANCOCK FIRE BRIGADE! Yeah! (BLACKOUT). ------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------- Act II, Scene 2. Jack's Front Porch. (FLORA, PLUME, and ST PETER. PLUME and ST PETER have their feet up on the porch rail, eating pie. JACK enters, carrying a bundle.) JACK Hello, Mother. FLORA 'Lo, Honey Chile. JACK What? ST PETER Uh-oh. (Gestures. FLORA blinks, gives ST PETER a deathlook.) Can I help it if I've developed a blessed affinity for Key Lime Pie? FLORA (Turns to JACK) So -- you're back? JACK Looks like. Don't have any choice until I can find a crew. Mother -- what possesses a man to run off like that? A woman snaps her fingers, and -- voila! Scratch turns into a subhuman work-beast, right before my eyes! FLORA It happens. It just happens, Jack. You meet someone, and something snaps inside you, and the next thing you know, your whole life's rearranged! -- And then it's rearranged again, when they leave. JACK Yes, but -- it seems so pointless. It's as if a man is in heat, or something -- dominated and enslaved by instinct, and doomed to a meaningless cycle of sacrifice for the next generation. FLORA Meaningless? But it's all a preparation for the life to come. JACK I don't believe in any life to come. We're here, and when we die, it's like when a bug dies, that's all. And this stuff about spirits and saints and so on, that's just a lot of fairy-tale fiction. ST PETER Well, thank you, verily! PLUME I need-um that! Not enough, me is dead! FLORA Watch out, Jack! You'll anger the mighty forces of the shadowy netherworld. JACK Netherworld, Schmetherworld! They're only voices in your mind! Figments! PLUME Ug! FLORA Jack! I'll pray fervently to St Peter for your forgiveness. JACK Please don't. Or if you do, at least call him by his real name. "Peter" means "rock." So -- you might start out next time this way -- Helloooo-o-o, Rock! ST PETER The trials of a saint! PLUME Ug! You no like-um that, do you -- Rock! ST PETER (looks Upward) How long? How long? FLORA Jack! How can you speak so about the man who stands at the doorway to eternal life? JACK Is that all that matters to you? Whether or not you can come by a one-way ticket to some we-never-close amusement park? FLORA I -- I -- (PLUME and ST PETER fade from view.) JACK Mother, you told me once that long ago you had a terrible fever that changed you forever. FLORA I can see more now, Jack. JACK Yes -- but does what you see allow you to play the game of life more the way you want to? Or is it dragging you along? FLORA Lately -- ! Lately, I couldn't say. I feel -- very old. IS LIFE JUST A GAME IN WHICH EV'RY PLAY'S THE SAME? A CARNIVAL STALL WHERE YOU NEVER WIN AT ALL? SHOULD I WAIT FOR A LATE TWIST OF FATE TO BRING FAR HORIZON'S GLEAMS? HOPING STILL WITH A WILL THAT I'LL FILL UP MY EMPTY SHELF OF DREAMS? DOES MY GROWING OLD MEAN I LEARN THERE IS NO GOLD? THAT YESTERDAY'S DAWN WILL REPEAT 'TIL LIFE IS GONE? OR WILL I ONCE MORE TRY FOR THE SKY AND WITH ALL THE HEART I OWN FIND SOME HAPPINESS BEFORE ALL MY TIME HAS FLOWN. (MUSIC continues under the following dialogue.) JACK Mother, the world is such a big, mysterious place. Have you even for a moment felt you've seen all there is? FLORA I haven't. I don't have to. I know the world out there beyond Oakland is a dangerous world, full of strange people and perilous threats. The longer you live, the more careful you are of danger in the shadows. JACK But, Mother, you are brave. FLORA Brave? I read the papers, Jack. Maybe bravery begins where common sense leaves off and foolishness starts up. Brave! The older I get, the less brave I feel; and the more certain that one day, I won't even be able to set foot outside this door -- and the more uncertain I become that there's any point to life at all. IS LIFE JUST A WORD WHICH WE KNOW TO BE ABSURD? DOES EV'RYTHING LIE IN IMAGINATION'S EYE? IS IT TRUE THAT A FEW WILL RENEW EV'RY LIFE-CELL ONE FINE DAY? OR WILL WE FINALLY ONE DAY SEE THAT THE DEAD ARE DEAD TO STAY? THE BLOOD IN MY VEIN AND THE THOUGHTS WITHIN MY BRAIN WILL THEY BE NO MORE WHEN I'M KNOCKING ON DEATH'S DOOR? OR WILL YOU CARRY THROUGH AND CLING TO EV'RY SONG MY SPIRIT'S KNOWN AND IN THAT WAY I'LL LIVE ON WHEN MY TIME HAS FLOWN -- WHEN MY TIME HAS FLOWN -- WHEN MY TIME -- HAS FLOWN. (FLORA sits, striking a statuesque pose, as if in a trance, on the last beat of the song.) SCRATCH (enters, with EDNA) Jack! JACK Hello, Scratch! Hello, Edna! What are you doing out here? EDNA We just got married! JACK Oh! Where's your ring? EDNA Well -- I haven't picked it out just yet. Ah! Here comes Miss Slow Foot now! (MAMIE enters, tears in eyes.) MAMIE It was a beautiful wedding, Jack! Just beautiful. I've never had (sniff) such a wonderful time (sniff) in my whole life! (cries into handkerchief.) SCRATCH Womens are always liking this, Jack, eh? Eh, Mrs. London? - What is wronging with her? JACK Oh, Mother's gone into one of her trances of melancholy. SCRATCH Am easily with dealing. -- Mrs. London, you are looking most beautifully today. FLORA -- What? SCRATCH Is only truth telling. Matter facting, you are beautifulling more I remember never. Think you're inside smiling. FLORA Why, thank you, kind sir. SCRATCH Mrs. London, Edna Polski, my belovedly. EDNA How do you do. Oh -- is that key lime pie? How do you ever make it? You must be a very good cook. FLORA Just sometimes. (FLORA turns to ST PETER and PLUME as each's light comes up, they give the "OK" sign to two orchestral notes.) MAMIE Jack! How come we couldn't find you? JACK I was out looking for a crew. Instead, I found a sailor off the Sutherland who spun a long yarn about hunting seals in the North Pacific. He wanted me to join his crew -- MAMIE Listening to stories when you could've been at the wedding. (FLORA takes SCRATCH and EDNA inside.) JACK What's the difference? MAMIE Ahh! Typical male! Weddings are forever! JACK Only death is forever. MAMIE But life is forever too, Mr. Philosopher! And marriage is the fountain of life. JACK Well! You're rather good at arguing, I see! You ought to make a fine wife. MAMIE I wouldn't marry you if you paid me. JACK Oh, you wouldn't. Well, I don't know as I really want to get married. But I suppose you could fill me in on that. MAMIE If you don't know, I can't tell you. JACK You couldn't tell me anyway. MAMIE For a hundred dollars I'd marry you just to prove you were wrong. JACK You wouldn't! MAMIE Sure I would! Better watch out! -- FOR A SINGLE HUNDRED DOLLARS I WOULD MARRY YOU FOR A COOL GREEN HUNDRED DOLLARS I'D WEAR WHITE! THAT'S TRUE! THAT FIVE-SCORE WOULD BUY US WHAT WE'D NEED FOR OUR NEW HOME, BUT THERE'S NO MORE THAN STALE AIR SHUT IN MY HOMEMADE JELLY JAR BANK -- How rank! FOR A QUIET HUNDRED DOLLARS I WOULD SHOUT I'M YOURS! THAT IS JUST THE SUM I'D TRUST TO MAKE THINGS HUM! IT WOULD START THE MONTHLY RENT AND A PART COULD JUST BE SPENT ON THE FUR-NITURE WE'D SURE NEED -- I'm not living in a tent! FOR A LOWLY HUNDRED DOLLARS, WE'D HAVE OUR PALACE DOORS! JACK (patter) Whatever happened to traditions? Proposals aren't business propositions! You've got the bills already starting - you're just not horse-before-the-carting. MAMIE Have you got the dough? JACK No. MAMIE So, what's the row? FOR A HUNDRED FAITHLESS DOLLARS YOU WOULD GAIN A LIFE WITH A TRULY FAITHFUL SERVANT AND A FAITHFUL WIFE WHO WOULD WAKE YOU UP FOR WORK AND WOULD MAKE YOUR COFFEE PERK FOR YOUR SAKE SHE'D NEVER SHIRK FROM ENSURING YOU'RE ON TIME -- AND I'M FOR A HUNDRED NEEDLESS DOLLARS JUST WHAT YOU WILL NEED WHEN IT'S BACK HOME FROM THE FACTORY YOU COME? AND IF YOU'D BE WORKING LATE TRIED AND TRUE I'D ALWAYS WAIT UP FOR YOU TO DO MY OWN GUY RIGHT BY HIS MATE! FOR A NEEDLESS HUNDRED DOLLARS, WHAT A SURE-FIRE LIFE YOU'D LEAD! JACK (patter) Some of your picture still is shoddy -- I thought you had to be somebody! Your mind's been womaned, damed and girled! I thought you had to win the world. MAMIE That was long ago -- JACK Oh? MAMIE People can grow. FOR A HUNDRED FLEETING DOLLARS YOU'D BE SET FOR GOOD WITH A LIFE FOREVER LAID OUT JUST THE WAY IT SHOULD AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO DREAM OF WHATEVER LIFE COULD SEEM YOU'LL BE SEVERED FROM THE GLEAM OF THE FOOL'S GOLD OVER THE HILL -- You will! JUST A HUNDRED UNSURE DOLLARS WILL LEAVE YOU ASSURED OF YOUR FUTURE LIFE WITH YOU AND KIDS AND WIFE! THEY WILL BE YOUR JOY AND PRIDE THOUGH YOU'LL SEE YOUR PATIENCE TRIED BUT YOU'LL FIND YOUR MIND FEELING REAL SMILES NINE MILES WIDE! FOR AN UGLY HUNDRED DOLLARS WHAT A LOVELY LIFE YOU'D LE-EE-EAD! FLORA (enters) Are you lolligaggers going to make it in here for some key lime pie? This is really a wedding reception, you know. MAMIE Yes Ma'am! FLORA Jack, I want to talk to you. -- We'll be right there, Mamie. MAMIE(exiting.) Mamie. I hate being called -- (exits.) FLORA Were you planning on going out after oysters tonight? JACK Without a crew? FLORA Well, don't! JACK Is that a threat? After all, if this is my fated profession -- FLORA It isn't! JACK How do you know? FLORA Let's just say I know, that's all. Let's just say that tonight I foresee disaster, and I want you to take my word for it, just this once. JACK Mother, I can't run my life on your daydreams. But I don't have a crew, so I can't go anyway. Let's just leave it at that. (turns to exit.) FLORA Very well and good, Jack. But, tonight is going to be no daydream! (Blackout.) ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------- Act II, Scene 3. An oyster shoal. (PIRATES enter singing the Pirate Processional.) PIRATES IN DARKEST SHADOWS WE LET MOORINGS SLIP AND STEER BY STARS OR BY OUR EARS IN FOG (Lights fade up.) OFF ON A DARING OYSTER-RAIDING TRIP! WHEN TIDE IS FAIRLY OUT UPON THE BOG WE CREEP IN SILENCE OUT WITH OPEN BAGS AND REAP THE HARVEST-GOLD OF GOD'S OWN SEA -A SHOT RINGS OUT! WE KNOW THE MAN WHO LAGS BEHIND WILL LAG ETERNALLY. FRANK (enters; turns to SPIDER) Spidaire -- you stay on vatch. Zis shoal iss ze best uff ze best place to lookout for ze aussorities vile ve snatch ze oystaires. PIRATE Well, blow me down. Ho, there, you swabs, shake a foot loose and set yore course over t' this end of the shoal! (PIRATE gestures at a barrel with a poster tacked to it. The poster bears a likeness of FRENCH FRANK.) They really be after us now! PIRATES For sure! That be certain! Etc. FRANK Vots all ze hub-bub? PIRATE A cir-cu-lar with yore name affixed, French Frank! One thousand reward for you -- SECOND PIRATE And only five hundred for the rest of us! PIRATES Argghh! Etc. FRANK Silence! (Silence.) Should it be any vonderment to you zat zey find me most formidable of all ze oyster pirates? After all, I haf spent most uff my life in one bed or anozzer. Har, har. Vell, I make ze joke. Laugh! (PIRATES laugh uproariously.) Hokay! (PIRATES are all immediately silent.) To ze aussorities, I deliver my fine personally. Only not in silver -- in lead! (Fires gun at poster. Liquid spurts out.) PIRATE Ah, it's rum! (General pandemonium as hats, shells are used to catch liquor. SPIDER leaves his post.) FRANK Here is to our successes! PIRATES Yo! FRANK To our prosperities! PIRATES Yo! FRANK And here's to ze blackest scoundrel on ze bay! PIRATES Hooray! FRANK VEN ZERE'S MISDOSING WHO'S FIRST YOU'RE ACCUSING OF ALL? PIRATES FRENCH FRANK! FRANK IF YOU MUST BLAME SOMEVUN TELL ME ZE NAME YOU VOULD CALL -- PIRATES FRENCH FRANK! FRANK ZERE'S NO MAN ALIVE SINKS HE'S EVIL AS I'VE COME TO BE! PIRATES NOBODY, NOBODY, No one! FRANK (brandishing pistol) BUT IF I AM WRONG I HAFF ONE VAIRE STRONG REMEDY! PIRATE (looking up muzzle) I see! FRANK OH! VERE'S A MORE VILLAINOUS VILLAIN? VY AM I DRAWING A BLANK? COULD BE I'M LETTING MYSELF START FORGETTING -- OR COULD BE BECAUSE I'M FRENCH FRANK! PIRATES HO, HEY, HO! HEY, HO, HEY, HO! FRANK ON MY FIRST DAY I WAS MET BY DISMAY AT MY BIRTH! PIRATES YOUR BIRTH! FRANK MY PARENTS, POOR SLOBS, ZEY VERE OUT UFF ZERE JOBS AND OF MIRTH! PIRATES NO MIRTH! FRANK BUT MA AND PAPA, ZEY HAD MORE ZAN ZERE RA- -TION UFF FUN -- PIRATES FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN! FRANK ZEY BOS VERE RELEASED FROM ZERE JOBS AS A PRIEST AND A NUN! PIRATES OH, OH, OH, WHERE'S A MORE BLACKGUARDLY BLACKGUARD? FRANK Vere? PIRATES WHY AM I DRAWING A BLANK? FRANK Could it be? Pair-haps! COULD BE YOU'RE LETTING YOURSELVES START FORGETTING PIRATES OR COULD BE BECAUSE YOU'RE FRENCH FRANK! HO, HEY, HO! HEY, HO, HEY, HO! FRANK AS A YOUNG VELP MY PAPA HAD ME HELP HIM TEACH SCHOOLS PIRATES FRENCH FRANK! FRANK VAYVARD YOUNG FE- MALES, VE TAUGHT ZEM ZE SREE GOLDEN RULES PIRATES FRENCH FRANK! FRANK HE TAUGHT ZEM VERE HEALSINESS AND, TOO, VERE VEALTHINESS LIES PIRATES HEALTHY AND WEALTHINESS LIES! FRANK AND I TAUGHT A SCORE UFF ZEM SOMESING BEFORE HE GOT VIZE! PIRATES OH, OH, OH! ALL WHERE'S A MORE SCOUNDRELOUS SCOUNDREL? WHY AM I DRAWING A BLANK? COULD BE I'M LETTING MYSELF START FORGETTING OR COULD BE BECAUSE YOU'RE (I'M) FRENCH FRANK! PIRATES HO, HEY, HO! HEY, HO, HEY, HO! (Melodramatic chord.) FRANK And zen She came -- and I vass saved! I took up collections for ze poor -- confiscated stores uff demon rum -- and heard confessions uff stealing, gambling, drinking, intrigues uff ze boudoir -- bribing, cheating, blackmailing, intrigues uff ze boudoir -- smuggling -- intrigues uff ze boudoir -- -and I shouted to ze vorld, Zat's ze life for me! Get me avay from ziss nonsense! I'm going to go out and raise Hell! PIRATES Hooray! FRANK SOME RASCALS SAY ZAT I MURDER FOR PAY OR FOR SPORT PIRATES FRENCH FRANK! FRANK DENOUNCING ME VEN- -EVER ZERE A FEW GEN- -TLEMEN SHORT! PIRATES FRENCH FRANK! FRANK BUT I'VE HAD NO PART SHEDDING BLOOD, CROSS MY HEART, HOPE TO DIE PIRATES (Sweetly, slowly, as in church) HOPE TO DIE -- FRANK JUST ASK CAPTAINS STEER- -ING ZE ROUTES BETWEEN HERE AND SHANGHAI! PIRATES OH, OH, OH, WHERE'S A MORE DEVILISH DEVIL? FRANK Vere? PIRATES WHY AM I DRAWING A BLANK? FRANK Why, indeed! PIRATES COULD BE I'M LETTING MYSELF START FORGETTING -- FRANK Never! PIRATES OR COULD BE BECAUSE YOU'RE FRENCH FRANK! FRENCH FRANK! FRENCH FRANK! FRENCH -- (In a chain, they all lean on successive shoulders up to FRANK) FRANK Isn't I terrible? (Steps back, letting PIRATES fall) PIRATES FRA-A-A-A-ANK! Hey! (Shots fired.) VOICE Surrender, you scum! You're surrounded! FRANK Run for eet, buckos! (PIRATES scatter. Traveller closes. PIRATES run across stage to commotion and gunfire. They reverse course; more gunfire as they reach the other side of the stage.) VOICE Reach! (PIRATES raise hands.) FRANK Argh! Time to lower ze flag. Argh! Zat I should surrender! I vill find ze scum who hass betrayed me -- I vill get efen, and zen -- Revenge vill be sveet! (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------- Act II, Scene 4. A pier. JACK (drinking from bottle) All the oyster pirates captured and in jail? And where does that leave me? Going it alone with no lookouts? No crew? No -- pals? Or shall I go back to slaving at Hickmott's factory, marry, procreate, and immortalize my mother! Or - how about this? How about if I drink myself into an eternal stupor? Ah! Not bad! That's the only real alternative, unloved as I am. Unloved? Yes. She only cares about -- being married, I think. Drink is the answer! The only answer -- to -- failure. (Black-cloaked, black-hooded, skeleton-headed figures upstage turn and reveal themselves to audience. They dance around JACK.) FAILURE IS A GAME I CAN PLAY THERE'S JUST ONE SIMPLE RULE -- YOU HAVE TO BE A FOOL TO PLAY AND LIKE TO PLAY. FAILURE IS THE WAY ALL THINGS END. THERE'S NO INFINITY OR GREAT DIVINITY THROUGH DEATH'S DOOR CAN ASCEND. IT'S A COLD AND PEACEFUL TRIP ON DEATH'S SILENT SHIP AS YOU SLICKLY SLIP INTO THE PAST. IT'S A SMOOTH TRIP INTO PORT NEITHER LONG NOR SHORT FOR HELL'S TIME CAN'T REPORT HOW LONG, HOW FAST. FAILURE IS THE PATH LIFE MUST TAKE. WHY THAT IS I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M NOT GOING TO GO CURSE HELL, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. FAILURE IS THE WAY OF ALL FLESH. NO DOCTOR YOU CAN GET CAN FREE YOU FROM THE NET OF OLD GRIM REAPER'S MESH. LIKE LEMMINGS WE MUST GO TOWARD OUR FATE OF WOE HERDED BY A LOW CLEAR SIREN VOICE! BUT UNLIKE A STUPID BEAST WE ALL KNOW, AT LEAST WE WILL BE DEATH'S FEAST AND HAVE NO CHOICE! FAILURE IS WHAT MUST COME TO BE. AND SOME FEW OF US MAY WITH FORTUNE, FIND A WAY TO EXIT GRACEFULLY. (JACK falls off the pier. JACK is caught by the cloaked dancers, who toss him to his feet. JACK "swims" as two of them hold up a flat or cloth with painted waves in front of him, to tell the audience that he is swimming. The rest dance "The Death Waltz".) WHAT A GLORIOUS END TO A LIFE OF WOE THIS IS THE POETIC WAY TO GO! THIS IS A MAN'S WAY TO DIE -- OUT HERE WITH THE SEA AND THE SKY! WHAT A SPLENDID CONCLUSION TO MY CAREER! SHORT BUT FOREVER IN HIGHEST GEAR! ME, WHO HAS NOBODY'S LOVE AND NOTHING WORTH DREAMING OF. I BID FAREWELL TO A MIXED-UP WORLD THAT CAN'T CONTROL ITS OWN GREED. GOODBYE TO A LIFE IN WHICH WEALTH IS HURLED INTO POCKETS WHICH HAVE NO NEED! WHAT A TIMELY DEPARTURE FROM MORTAL COIL FROM A LIFE REEKING OF STRAIN AND TOIL THE FACT IS IT'S BAD AS IT LOOKS THE ONLY THINGS WORTHWHILE WERE BOOKS. Books? Oh, no! Melville, Kipling, Smollett, Wells, What a tale Stevenson tells! Signa, Hawthorne, Cooper, Twain, I'd still like to read again! Conrad, Irving, Kingsley, Read, I don't want to drown! I need Grissing, Hardy, Alger, James and to ditch these suicide games! (Furious music as four large bottles with pictures of John Barleycorn dance around JACK, surrounding him, blocking his path. Eventually, JACK loses his strength, and sinks from view, except for his arm, which is shown by a pin-spot. Just as that is about to go under, another hand clasps it.) VOICE Whata you adoin' away outa here, da middle a day bay? Giuseppe, come hepa me pulla him into da boata! (Blackout.) ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------- Act II, Scene 5. JACK's House. FISHERMAN (lets JACK down from Fireman's Carry) -- So I'ma find him like da fishes, swimmin' ina day bay. I don'ta know, he musta falloffa da boat outa thata way, to get thata far outa, you see. FLORA (proffers coin.) Here's something for your trouble. FISHERMAN Thanka you kindly. (exits.) FLORA Jack? PLUME Ug! Him lookum heap dead, to me. ST PETER Now, there's the pot calling the kettle black. PLUME What-um you mean? ST PETER Nothing. I wouldn't expect you to know. PLUME Expect to know? Paleface, Indian warrior seen heap many carcasses in olden days! ST PETER First hand. PLUME Ug! Me thinkum you nice guy too, Rock! ST PETER What? PLUME Oh, that right. You no like-um called Rock. Me sorry. Now on, be steady friend. Steady as -- rock! -- Ulp. Oh, me sorry again. Must've gone off rock-er. Heh-heh. Oh, must be better. Must swear off temptation; sing hymn, right? Sing Rock of Ages! Heh-heh! Not like? You right. Me sing better song. PLUME (Continued) ROCK-A-BYE PAPOOSE INSIDE TEEPEE ME ROCK-EM SLOW, AND GIVE ROCK CANDY! ST PETER Oh, no! How long? How long must I tolerate this figment? PLUME Ug! You right! Brave live in glass teepee should-um not throw -- rocks! Heh-heh! ST PETER You know, Mrs. London has a big imagination, but if you keep on, there may not be enough room in it for the both of us. PLUME Is truth. Cannot avoid. Hokay. Should-um not -- rock boat! Heh- heh! Heh-heh! FLORA Boys, boys! ST PETER That I should mix with this rabble! PLUME His fault. Him hang around pearly gates all time. Not mingle with- um strong men! Not visit Tulsa! Wichita! Yuma! or - Little Rock! Heh-heh! Heh-heh! FLORA (yelling) Can you two just quit all your bickering for a moment and help?! My son is dying! Save him! (looks at ST PETER) Well? ST PETER That -- is not the way of things, Madame Flora. (ST PETER proceeds to give JACK last rites. FLORA, with a gesture of frustration, turns to PLUME.) FLORA Plume -- if you're ever going to do anything for me -- do it now. PLUME Me -- Me ask Great Spirit, who watches over all. (PLUME steps down center, looks to the heavens, gesturing.) PLUME (Chants.) Hoy-ya. Hoy-ya. Hoy-ya. Hoy-ya. Hoy-ya-ya-ya Hoy-ya-ya-ya Hoy-ya-ya-ya-ya. (One beat after the last syllable, PLUME gestures, with one hand, to the heavens. Nothing happens.) PLUME (continued) Hoy-ya-ya-ya Hoy-ya-ya-ya Hoy-ya-ya-ya-ya. (One beat after the last syllable, PLUME gestures more vehemently, with the other hand, to the heavens. Nothing happens.) ST PETER How useless. (PLUME raises his posture, flexes his backbone, and tries once more.) PLUME Hoy-ya-ya-ya Hoy-ya-ya-ya Hoy--ya--ya--ya--ya! (One beat after the last syllable, PLUME gestures most vehemently, with both hands, to the heavens.) PLUME I fear, Madame Flora, it just isn't-- (Suddenly, the heavens open up with a tremendous crash of thunder and lightning: "KA-BOOOOM!" PLUME is knocked back onto his backside and slides upstage. Jack coughs up water.) FLORA Boys! He's coming around. PLUME (to Heavens) Thanks. Me owe you one! JACK So -- this is Hell. It figures. How else could they bore you to death! FLORA Jack -- you're not dead. A fisherman pulled you out. He said you were far from land. JACK Oh, yes, I remember. The pirates -- are all captured. FLORA Were all captured. JACK What? FLORA They've escaped! JACK How?! FLORA Well -- some irresponsible person -- slipped them a hacksaw. JACK How do you know that? FLORA I -- I've often told you I see many things, but you never believe me. -- "Madame Flora sees all, knows all!" JACK Well, Madame Flora -- is French Frank out too? FLORA (Touches forehead.) Yes. JACK (shakes head) Who'd ever want him out! FLORA Couldn't say. It's RUMORED that the agent for the Southern Pacific wouldn't make good on the reward. But that's only a rumor, you understand. I wouldn't put any stock in it. JACK Something is fishy here, Mother. FLORA I don't know what you mean. JACK You know and I know that there isn't any such thing as "powers." PLUME Ug! Of course, me and Great Spirit did-um nothing. -- Ask um him if him ever hear of "take-backs!" ST PETER (to PLUME) Wouldst thou be -- heh heh -- an Indian giver? (PLUME looks sharply, then launches himself at ST PETER. Arms on throats, they scuffle, rolling noisily around the stage.) FLORA Jack, I -- PLUME Paleface has big mouth! ST PETER Oh, the trials of a saint! FLORA Jack, I -- PLUME Make peace with Maker, White Man! ST PETER Don't make me laugh, you savage! (Scuffling continues, distracting FLORA. Finally, she goes over to the pair and sits on the topmost, collapsing him onto the other and effectively ending the confrontation.) ST PETER and PLUME Oof!/Ug! FLORA Now -- Jack -- You really mustn't say such things! -- On the other hand, I've never revealed to you the true source of my mysterious powers. (JACK walks slowly over to FLORA. He leans down. To him, she appears to be sitting in mid-air. He shakes his head.) JACK The true source of your powers ...? FLORA Yes. Shortly after my sickness, I -- Look, Jack, come over here to the window. (Crosses.) Do you see that great, rolling hill in the distance? JACK Yes. FLORA Well -- One day, when wandering over that rise, I CAME ACROSS PEOPLE WITH BRILLIANT, BLACK EYES, PEARLY WHITE TEETH, AND SHINING BLACK HAIR, DARK OLIVE SKIN, AND A MYSTERIOUS AIR. THEY SAW ME AT ONCE, AND SO I COULDN'T TELL THE POLICE THEY WERE THERE, THEY CAST A GREAT SPELL - "ROMANI, ROMANI, ROM!" THEY CRIED, AND SUDDENLY, I WAS A GYPSY INSIDE! NOW -- I'M A GYPSY UNDERNEATH THE SKIN I THINK OF LIFE JUST LIKE A GYPSY IN A STRANGE NEW WORLD THAT'S FULL OF THREATS TO GYPSY TRIBES THAT LIVE THROUGH WRETCHED TROUBLES WITH A GRIN! GYPSIES HAVE A SPECIAL, SEVENTH SENSE! -WE SEE LIFE NOT JUST IN THE PRESENT TENSE! -BUT ALSO ROUSE THE SPIRITS TO SHOW ALL THE FUTURE THEY KNOW AND THE TRUTH OF PAST EVENTS! AND -- GYPSIES THOUGH THEY'VE SEEN TOMORROW AREN'T SWAMPED WITH SORROW KNOWING WHAT WILL COME TO BE FOR -- GYPSIES TAKE JOY IN THE PLEASANT HAPP'NINGS OF THE PRESENT AND DON'T SADDEN EASILY. -- I'VE BEEN A GYPSY SINCE THAT SPELL WAS CAST! I SEE THE FUTURE, PRESENT, AND THE PAST! I SEE DARK FORCES TURNING IN THEIR COURSES AND THIS WAY MY SOURCES ARE BOTH STRANGE AND VAST! -- I HAVE A SPECIAL GYPSY CRYSTAL BALL IN WHICH THE SPIRITS LET ME WITNESS ALL! I SEE THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE JOYOUS, AND THE SAD, WHAT SANE, AND TOO, WHAT MAD EVENTS BEFALL! -- AND -- GYPSIES THOUGH THEY'VE SEEN TOMORROW AREN'T SWAMPED WITH SORROW KNOWING WHAT WILL COME TO BE -- FOR -- GYPSIES TAKE JOY IN THE PLEASANT HAPP'NINGS OF THE PRESENT AND DON'T SADDEN EASILY -- (Shouted) Hey! ST PETER & PLUME FLORA I'M A GYPSY UNDERNEATH THE SKIN AH- I THINK OF LIFE JUST LIKE A GYPSY IN AH- A STRANGE NEW AH WORLD THAT'S FULL OF THREATS TO AH GYPSY TRIBES WHO AH TRIED TO LIVE IN PEACE AH BUT NEVER HAD A LEASE AH AND ALWAYS TOOK THE BLAME AH WHENE'ER BAD FORTUNE CAME AH THEY MOVE ALONG AH IN GYPSY SONG AH AND DON'T COMPLAIN AH OF LIFE'S HARSH PAIN AH THEY EVER WANDER AH HERE AND YONDER AH LIVING FREE AH ETERNALLY, AND AH FLORA OH! I'M A GYPSY UNDERNEATH -- MY-Y SKIN! (Ends in a short flourish of dancing.) JACK Well, whether you've got powers or not, there's still one little hitch. FLORA What's that? JACK If the pirates are all out -- and were caught on the only occasion when Scratch and I weren't with them -- why, French Frank is going to think we turned him in! And he's probably on his way here, right -- PIRATES (entering through doors, windows) IN DARKEST SHADOWS WE LET MOORINGS SLIP AND STEER BY STARS OR BY OUR EARS IN FOG OFF ON A DARING OYSTER-RAIDING TRIP! WHEN TIDE IS FAIRLY OUT UPON THE BOG WE CREEP IN SILENCE OUT WITH OPEN BAGS AND REAP THE HARVEST-GOLD OF GOD'S OWN SEA A SHOT RINGS OUT! WE KNOW THE MAN WHO LAGS BEHIND WILL LAG ETERNALLY! FRANK (enters) Zo! Ve catch ze stool pigeon, hey? JACK I'm no stool pigeon, Frank! FRANK No? Vell, you von't be anysing after I boil you in oil! JACK Oh. I thought you were going to show me your technique with a meat cleaver -- FRANK (smiling) You would prefer ZAT? JACK Actually -- (EDNA enters with MAMIE) PIRATE What ho! FRANK Vell, vell! Now ve haff ze rat and ze cheese! MAMIE What's going on here? Doff thy cap and bow, varlet! FRANK Enough uff zis nonsense! I am going to make ze short work uff my betrayers. (gestures, "cutting throat.") Tie zem to ze chairs! EDNA Wait a minute! Mister Frank, isn't that a perfect waste? Why, aren't you thirsty? Hungry? Don't you want to see the show we've been working on? FRANK and MAMIE Vat (what) show? MAMIE Oh, that show. EDNA (to FLORA) Where did you put our costumes? FLORA Oh. (gestures to closet.) In here. (FLORA goes into closet, brings back a boa and a hat. EDNA (to MAMIE) Play, child. (MAMIE sits at piano, plays vamp.) FRANK Zis iss ridiculous. Ze prisoners to be executed do not burst into ze songs! (Takes sword and brings it down emphatically.) FLORA Shut up and sit down, Frank! (FRANK remains standing. EDNA has trouble getting started because of the proximity of FRANK's sharp blade.) EDNA A -- BOOM -- BOOM -- LADY A -- BOOM -- BOOM -- LADY THAT'S WHAT I'VE -- (cries.) Oh, Flora! FRANK Enough eez enough! FLORA (TO JACK) I'll show you how a Gypsy handles this! (Shouts) Siddown, Frank! (Pulls him down by the shirt.) Play that vamp, kid! (Puts on hat and boa. "Hot Mama" style:) A BOOM BOOM LADY! A BOOM BOOM LADY! THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE! WITH BOOM BOOM HEMLINES! How do ya like them lines? KNOCKING THEIR EYES OUT SO MERRILY! I'VE OFTEN SAT ALONE AND DREAMED MY OWN EXCITEMENT! AND NOW IMAGINING WON'T HAVE TO BRING DELIGHTMENT! A BOOM BOOM LADY A BOOM BOOM LADY THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE! (Drum solo. FLORA takes off dress to reveal a red lace slip, with much flesh visible through the lace.) (FLORA grabs the hand of MAMIE and EDNA, pulls them in.) FLORA, EDNA, MAMIE A BOOM BOOM LADY A BOOM BOOM LADY THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE! WITH A BOOM BOOM HALTER THAT SHOUTS "ASSAULT ER!" "TAKE HER ON HOME IMMEDIATELY!" FLORA ("Betty Boop" style) BUT I WILL WARN YOU NOW I WON'T ALLOW SUCH ARDOR IF YOU HAVE HOPES THAT HIGH YOU'LL HAVE TO TRY ("Hot Mama":) MUCH HARDER! FLORA, EDNA, MAMIE A BOOM BOOM LADY! A BOOM BOOM LADY! THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED, GEE, THAT DREAM HAS ALWAYS HAUNTED ME, THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE - E - E! FLORA Edna, bring me my robe! (EDNA retrieves gossamer red robe trimmed with fur from closet.) FRANK Vell! I see you are ze queen uff zis place! FLORA Now, there's a man with perceptivity! FRANK Madame, I vill be frank, as alvays. I am struck vith ze love! FLORA Don't waste any time, do you, Frank? FRANK At my age, who has ze time to vaste? Besides, I am a Frenchman, and have ze reputation uff ze Frenchmen everyvaire to uphold! FLORA That's very nice, but where would I be if I gave myself to every old Frenchman that happened to break into my house? A woman has to draw the line somewhere! After all, there's no such thing as love at first -- (FRANK interrupts, kisses FLORA at length.) On the other hand -- I like old Frenchmen! Viva Le France! (FLORA kisses FRANK in an even more broad manner.) PIRATE Well, hornswoggle me scuppers! French Frank is in love again! SECOND PIRATE Ya, und so does der sea waves keep rolling to der shore! FLORA Well, Frank, is that all I am to you? Just another pretty face? Well? FRANK Avast, you riff-raff! I get ze revenge for zis! -- Flora, I -- FLORA I won't put up with a casual affair, Frank. It must be everything -- or nothing. FRANK (gulps) Everysing? FLORA Everything. FRANK But -- but vot vould my public say? "French Frank -- ze meanest pirate uff zem all -- married?" FLORA Quite a tale to tell, isn't it? FRANK Vy, zat is so! Zey vill remark ofer it forefer. I can hear ze stories now! -- (FRANK brings down sword on floor emphatically.) I said, I can hear ze stories now! PIRATES OH, ONE DAY FRENCH FRANK MET A -- FRANK No, no, no, no! Sveetly. Sveetly! PIRATES (Hymn-like.) OH-OH-OH-OH: ONE DAY FRENCH FRANK MET A WOMAN WE'RE THANK -FUL HE FOUND -- FRENCH FRANK! SHE IS THE ONE PERSON HIS HEART HAS SPUN HOPES AROUND -- FRENCH FRANK! WE'RE GLAD THAT SHE GOT TO HIS HEART'S SOFTEST SPOT SO SINCERE -- SO SINCE-E-E-ERE! FIRST PIRATE (Quickly) 'CAUSE WE STOLE ALL HIS GOLD AND WOULD LIKE TO BE OLDER NEXT YEAR! (Several PIRATES put their hands over FIRST PIRATE's mouth.) PIRATES OH - OH - OH! (FRANK chases around others after FIRST PIRATE) PIRATES FRANK WHERE'S A MORE Vot do you mean, you took VILLAINOUS VILLAIN? my gold? You found my WHY AM I DRAWING A BLANK? treasure map? Oh, I COULD BE I'M LETTING vill slice you to ze MYSELF START FORGETTING ribbons, I vill cut you OR COULD BECAUSE all to pieces, I vill-- YOU'RE FRENCH FRANK! (Just as FRANK is about to bring his sword down on the FIRST PIRATE, the PIRATES group back together and sing sweetly, melting FRANK.) OH! LOVE FOUND FRENCH FRANK IN AN INSTANT! AND SANK THROUGH HIS SOUL! -- FRENCH FRANK! LEAVING HIM STRUCK TO HELP FOLKS LOW ON LUCK ON THE DOLE -- FRENCH FRANK! HE PUT UP HIS BOAT AS SECURITY FLOAT -ING A LOAN! -- WHAT A MA-A-A-AN! SECOND PIRATE (QUICKLY) AND I TOOK THE BUNDLE AND STARTED A FUND ALL MY OWN! PIRATES FRANK OH-OH-OH! Vait a minute! I did not WHERE'S A MORE borrow on my boat! Who BLACKGUARDLY BLACKGUARD? iss borrowing on my WHY AM I DRAWING A BLANK? boat? vot iss ziss? I vill COULD BE I'M LETTING get efen for zis! Chust MYSELF START FORGETTING you vait, I 'll get you! OR COULD BE BECAUSE YOU'RE FRENCH FRANK! (FRANK is just about to do another pirate in.) PIRATES (sweetly, again) OH! ONE DAY FRANK DIED (FRANK: I did?) AND THE WHOLE WORLD JUST CRIED OUT THEIR GRIEF! PIRATES THIRD PIRATE FRENCH FRANK! Boo-hoo-hoo-hooo! SHOWING UNWAVE- ERING LOVE FOR THEIR FAV- ORITE THIEF! FRENCH FRANK! Boo-hoohoo-hoooo! THIRD PIRATE PIRATES O'ER HIS GRAVE HE HAD ASKED AH! THAT THE PUREST RUM FLASKED AH! WE WOULD POUR! FOURTH PIRATE SO PU-U-U-URE! THREE PIRATES SO WE STRAINED A QUART THROUGH OUR KIDNEYS A SHORT TIME BEFORE! PIRATES FRANK OH-OH-OH! Vot? I get you all for WHERE'S A MORE zis! I vill mow you down SCOUNDRELOUS SCOUNDREL? on ze high seas! I vill WHY AM I DRAWING A BLANK? sliver your gizzards! You COULD BE I'M LETTING shall all valk ze plank! MYSELF START FORGETTING -- Zis you shall never forget! THIRD PIRATE Uhh -- I forgot! FRANK (poking sword into 3rd's ribs) Vot? PIRATES OR COULD BE BECAUSE YOU'RE FRENCH FRANK! FRENCH FRANK! FRENCH FRANK! FRENCH -- FRANK I muss to admit. I luff it! PIRATES FRA-A-ANK! Ho! FLORA Now, Frank -- you were going to ask me something -- ? -Well? (FRANK looks at MAMIE.) MAMIE Well? (FRANK looks at EDNA.) EDNA Well? (FRANK looks at the PIRATES.) PIRATES Well? (FRANK bends on to one knee with a flourish.) FRANK Madame Flora -- Mon Cheri -- Vill you marry me? FLORA Do I get to test the merchandise again? (In a sweeping and graceful gesture, FRANK takes FLORA in his arms and bends her around in a swashbuckling kiss. FLORA blinks with intoxication.) FRANK (Waits.) -- Vell? FLORA (suddenly breaking out of her trance.) Yes. Yes, Yes, Yes! -- You know, Frank, when we tie the knot, Jack here will be your son! FRANK He vill? (Turns, throws out arms) Son! JACK (same gesture) Father! FRANK and JACK Argh! (Both turn away disgustedly simultaneously.) (A knock at the door) FRANK Who ees zat? PIRATE (looking out window) It's Scratch! FRANK (snapping fingers) Let him in! (SCRATCH enters, his shirt stained with blood, one of his sleeves empty. EDNA screams and runs to his side.) EDNA Oh, Scratch! JACK What happened? FRANK Clear avay, zaire! Get him ze chair! (SCRATCH is brought to a chair.) EDNA What happened to you, dear? SCRATCH I am telling. I am telling. I -- oh, Edna, how am I supporting? EDNA Dear Scratch. SCRATCH Jack, there is being big machine at middle Hickmott's factory which grabs young blonde-headed girl by hair. It is into cogs pulling her! I am grabbing, pulling! But hand slips. Hand is -- gone. (EDNA weeps.) JACK That machine! -- There've been accidents for years! But it's cheaper to grind up people. FRANK Who is it zat iss responsible for zis? (Loud knocking.) VOICE Open up in there! Open up! We're looking for those scurvy oyster pirates! PIRATE (looking out window) Constables! FRANK Argghh! Scatter to ze vinds! (PIRATES scatter as knocking continues.) VOICE Open up! SPIDER (proffers bank book) Take this, Mamie, and remember your Uncle Spider! (MAMIE takes it. SPIDER and PIRATES exit.) FRANK Avast, hearties! And Avay! (FRANK exits with other PIRATES through window. Door is immediately forced open. HAROLD and a CONSTABLE enter.) HAROLD The oyster pirates! They were here, weren't they! FLORA Oyster pirates? (Looks under furniture.) Here? HAROLD Don't get cute with me, Madame Flora! The jailers told me there was a woman answering your description hanging around the jail, a woman who wore a talisman around her neck. She was seen there just before they escaped! JACK So! A gypsy, ay? Powers, ay? Madame Flora: sees all, knows all! -- Does all! FLORA (To JACK) I haven't fully introduced you to the Great Belt of Pseudoprognosticus yet, have I! HAROLD They were here, weren't they! FLORA Why, I don't know what you mean, Mister Harold Hensley. Now, if you were a paying customer -- JACK Hensley? Did you say Hensley? FLORA Yes. JACK Harold C. Hensley? HAROLD That's correct. JACK Harold C. Hensley is the director of Hickmott's! FLORA Can't be. Mister Hensley works for the Southern Pacific. JACK Which OWNS Hickmott's! SCRATCH (slowly, deliberately rises, turns) This is truth telling? HAROLD Who are you? SCRATCH Am Scratch Polski. HAROLD You -- ! Ah, yes, the accident this afternoon -- VOICE There go those pirates! SECOND VOICE Blast 'em! (Loud shots ring out.) HAROLD (smiles uneasily) Uh, sounds like we have them. I bid you farewell. SCRATCH (blocks his way with a very slow movement) Not so fastest. What about hand mine? What about new family? HAROLD Listen, friend. We're law-abiding at Hickmott's. We do everything by the letter of the law. We put up warning signs. We can't help the inattention of workers, now, can we? SCRATCH (slowly, deliberately grabs HAROLD by the lapel) What. HAROLD Let go of me! SCRATCH How am I bread earning, ever, with one hand? Eh? HAROLD It's bad luck, I grant you! But squeezing a concession out of me won't change the law! SCRATCH Is so? But rich getting persons off ground bones must stopped, one way or other! EDNA (grabs SCRATCH from behind) Scratch! No! (A gunshot, slightly muffled. SCRATCH flinches, staggers back from HAROLD's smoking revolver.) HAROLD Self-defense! You saw it, officer! (SCRATCH sinks to his knees, EDNA holding him up from behind.) SCRATCH Is all same. Goodbye, Edna. (SCRATCH falls forward, revealing EDNA's bloodied, bullet-holed dress. EDNA realizes, smiles, falls. More shots.) VOICE There they are! Fill them with lead! (Shots.) You fools! They're getting away! HAROLD Come on, officer. Let's get after these pirates! (OFFICER, HAROLD exit.) (JACK starts toward door; FLORA grabs his arm.) FLORA It's no use. Those men are stronger than we are. JACK They are stronger -- but they are not men! They are low animals, butting and pushing their way to the feed trough, without a human thought or care. And here -- here is their handiwork -- two lovers struck down, with a bare taste of happiness upon their lips! Oh, Scratch! Noble friend, if only you could breathe again! You were the most fearless man on sea or land, and all the powerful elements never once bested you. And then came these vile moneymakers, sacrificing your life without a second thought, furthering their ambitions. It's all madness! If only I could reach out with steel hands and change this inhuman world! Then I could bring some meaning to all of this -- You would not have died pointlessly! But -- what can I do? I am only a sixteen year old -- boy. FRANK (bursting in) Vot hass happened? I heard shots! FLORA SCRATCH has been killed -- and Edna, too. FRANK Oh -- Oh, Scratch! To Davy Chones Locker at such early age! And Miss Edna! Who hass done zis? FLORA The man out there with the police -- Hensley. FRANK I swear ze vengeance. Immediatemois! FLORA No! Frank, I know revenge. Sometimes it is better to be slow but sure -- especially when you're outnumbered. FRANK You are qvite a voman! VOICE He's in this house! I see him! HENSLEY's VOICE I've got you now, French Frank! Hahahahaha! (Glass shatters as a firebomb is thrown into house. Loud burning noises, light from flame) FRANK Is so? Vell, Hensley, I vill get efen, and zen -- Revenge Vill Be Sveet! (FRANK exits.) (FLORA scavenges her crystal ball. JACK drags her out. Loud roaring, crackling noises, windows shattering. Shots.) (MAMIE looks at bank book, as MAMIE, JACK, and FLORA have taken refuge down right.) JACK What do you have there? MAMIE It's a bank book. Uncle Spider gave it to me. I don't know if I'll see him again. JACK (reads) Five hundred dollars. You need to take this money and go to a school. A good school. MAMIE But, Jack, I -- I thought -- well, I'd rather -- (takes his hand.) JACK You won't find what you need with me. I'm no one yet, either. You need to study -- learn. Only then will you be able to be somebody -- important. MAMIE (in tears.) But Jack! (reaches for him.) JACK You just don't get it, do you -- Mamie!(throws bank book across stage.) MAMIE (gets up, gets book.) I get it. I get it. Believe me, I get it! (exits.) JACK Mother -- Mother, what will we do? Where will we go? How will we -- Mother? Mother? Why are you staring at the flames so? FLORA Sometimes -- sometimes we have to look hard to see the only worthwhile things in life. (ST PETER helps SCRATCH and EDNA up. He takes them to his cloud. They move off to Heaven, as SCRATCH kisses EDNA.) JACK Mother -- what is it? What do you see? Is there something -I don't see anything. FLORA Jack -- you won't. You won't see some of the wonderful things in this life -- only death and blood -- unless -Jack -- sometimes you gotta believe! (Chords, as fade to heavenly spot on SCRATCH, EDNA, and ST PETER.) (BLACKOUT.) ------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------- Act II, Scene 6. Jack's boat, tied up at pier. (Dawn. Seagull noises, etc. Jack gets up stretches, turns, looks up, up, up.) JACK The Sutherland! Mother, Mother, it's the Sutherland! FLORA What. JACK Just as the old salt said -- the one who told me about hunting seals in the North Pacific. He said the Sutherland would be here to sign on crew members. FLORA I might as well admit I can't sleep on this oversized rocking chair, and get up. ST PETER Whosoever came up with this idea? FLORA All right, Jack. Where is this -- Sutherland. JACK (turns her around.) There! FLORA My! It's -- big. JACK Hunting seals on the open ocean is big, tough work. FLORA Yes. Well, we have larger problems at hand, Jack. I'm going to have to put together a new salon. Where will I get the funds? All we have is this boat. -- Jack, how much could we get for it? JACK Sell the Razzle Dazzle? FLORA You said yourself, you don't have a crew. And when it comes down to it, there's no future in oystering, anyway, excepting six feet under. You've seen that for yourself. JACK Yes, Mother. FLORA So how much? JACK After what I still owe -- maybe fifty bucks, maybe less. FLORA That might be enough -- if you go back to work, while I get things going. JACK What do you mean, go back to work? FLORA At the Factory, of course. The foreman told me you're a good worker, and he wants you back -- JACK No! No, I am never going back there, especially after last night! FLORA Jack, you'll have to go where I think is best. You're still my boy. JACK Boy?! (Turns, looks at Sutherland, up, up, up.) No, Mother, now I am a man! And there, Mother, is my ticket to adventure, to life! I'll sail the high seas, and challenge the real wind, sea, and sky! THERE'S NOTHING TO HOLD ME DOWN HERE NOTHING TO MAKE ME STAY PULLED AND EXILED BY A CALL OF THE WILD DRAWING ME FAR AWAY! INSTINCT THAT SWELLS WITHIN ME PASSED FROM PRIMEVAL SOUL SENSING LIFE'S WORTH AT THE END OF THE EARTH PUSHES ME TOWARD MY GOAL! AWAY FROM TEN HOURS A DAY TEN HOURS A DAY OUT OF THE POWER OF TEN CENTS AN HOUR TEN HOURS A DAY! (Music continues under.) FLORA What are you doing? JACK Packing my things. I won't need much. I don't have much. And -- oh, yes, I'm going to take my books with me! (JACK binds them with a belt.) FLORA This is pointless. Needlessly exposing yourself to death at sea -- JACK Sometimes, Mother, you need to face death in order to find out what life is! FLORA Quartered in an area no larger than a kitchen cabinet! JACK Nonsense. My quarters will be the entire ocean! I'LL SHIP IN THE WIND, EV'RY DAY UNDERWAY TASTING THE SALT IN THE SPRAY AND CASTING OFF FEAR, TO ADVENTURE I'LL STEER CRUISING THE SEA-FRONTIER. I HUNGER TO KNOW WHAT'S BEYOND AND BEYOND -MY DAWNING'S YET TO BE DAWNED. THERE MUST BE MORE THERE TO THIS WORLD, AND I'LL DARE TO REACH TO WHERE LIFE IS STILL FREE -- TO CHALLENGE THE WIND AND THE SUN AND THE SEA. (Music continues.) FLORA I just don't see it. You'll come back, if you come back at all, knowing the drudgery of life at sea in addition to the drudgery of life on land. JACK That's not true, Mother! Not according to the books I've read! There is adventure out there to be had! FLORA Adventure? And what good will it do you to find adventure? You'll just come home again and have to go to work again. The only people who get anything out of those dad-ratted adventures are the people who write all those books about their adventures, and then turn around and sell them for a million -- dollars -- ! JACK Mother, adventures are good for their own sake. And as to money, well, they'll give me a small bonus for signing - that'll see you through until you can sell the boat and get going -- Mother? Mother? FLORA Jack -- what would you do if you were a great author. JACK What? FLORA If you were an author. A great author. An important author. JACK Why, I'd -- I'd -- I'D TELL THE TRUTH OF A MIXED-UP WORLD THAT CAN'T CONTROL ITS OWN GREED -- THE TRUTH OF A LIFE IN WHICH WEALTH IS HURLED INTO POCKETS THAT HAVE NO NEED! AND I'D FIGHT THE FIGHT OF THE WORKMAN FOR WHAT IS HIS RIGHT AND HIS DUE AND TRAVEL RIGHT OUT TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH AND LIVE OUT A TALE THAT IS TRUE! I KNOW NOW IT'S EASY AS THAT TO GO ROVING WHEN BODY AND WILL ARE BOTH STRONG -- I'LL THINK OF YOU ALWAYS EXCEPT WHILE I'M READING THE NOVELS I'M TAKING ALONG -- IT ALL AMOUNTS TO A WISH AND A PRAYER -- AND WISHES WEIGH HEAVIER FAR THAN DESPAIR! I'LL RETURN, I SWEAR! (JACK hugs FLORA, exits, as music continues.) ST PETER Well, he's a fine son, even if he is a little mixed up. FLORA Mixed up? PLUME Him have daydream him going to change whole world. World large. Him small. ST PETER He is in for a revelation. FLORA (realizing) No! -- no -- Yes -- Yes, you might well be right. The odds are fully against him. His hopes are just -- just -- (slowly) Daydreams -- THEY'RE ONLY DAYDREAMS JUST MONTH OF MAY DREAMS (Points at PLUME and ST PETER) YES, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT DAYDREAMS JUST WISH AND PRAY DREAMS TRUTH GONE ASTRAY DREAMS THAT PALE -- IN THE LIGHT -- BUT I KNOW -- (falters) BUT I KNOW -- (falters again -- long pause.) (deliberately) BUT I KNOW THOUGH LUCK MAY LAY LOW IT JUST CAN'T STAY LOW WHEN I'M SINGING THIS SONG! -- YOU'RE WRONG! DAYDREAMS DO STILL DRAW LIFE FROM MY FORCE OF WILL, TILL DAYDREAMS JUST HAVE TO COME TRUE! (Shouts to audience) Come on, everybody! There's only one sane way to live in this world, or the next! Reach down into your heart and soul and find your God-given stouthearted courage! Get hold of your hopes for the future, and the way you know things ought to be -- look forward, unafraid -- and dream, dream, dream! (extends fingers to manipulate ST PETER and PLUME to vamp music.) PLUME and ST PETER Uh-oh. PLUME ST PETER DOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOOT Here we go again! DOO DEE YOO DEE YOO DEE PLUME and ST PETER YOOT DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT -- DOO DEE YOOT -- DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT, DOO DEE YOOT -- -- -- -- (drum beats, crescendo, PLUME and ST PETER freeze as FLORA approaches audience.) FLORA I'M GOING TO LIVE INTO ETERNITY THERE IS NOBODY HERE TONIGHT COULD FORGET JACK AND ME! IF YOU GET TO READ OUR HISTORY THROUGH -- YOU WILL SEE THAT WHEN JACK RETURNED, THAT THEN ALL OUR DAYDREAMS CAME TRUE! -- YES! -- FLORA PLUME and ST PETER DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOOT THEY CALLED THEM DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOOT FRUIT NUT PARFAIT DREAMS DOO DOO JUST SHOWS WHAT THEY KNOW! DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT! DAYDREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOO IDEAL BALLET DREAMS DOOT DOO DEE YOO ARTISTE'S PALLET DREAMS DOO, DOO IN COLORS THAT GLOW! DOO DEE YOOT DOO DEE YOO DEE YOOT! BUT I'M SURE DOOT DOO DEE YOOT ALTHOUGH I ENDURE DOOT DOO DEE YOOT ADVICE TO HELP CURE DAHDOT DAH! MY STRANGE POINT OF VIEW! DAH DAHDOT DAH DAH DAH DOT DAYDREAMS ARE MY AH, AH WISH-ON-A-STARDUST SUPPLY! DAH DAH DAH DAYDREAMS ARE MERE- AH, AH LY HOPE WITH OUT ALL THE FEAR! DAH DAH DAH DAYDREAMS DO STILL AH, AH DRAW LIFE FROM MY FORCE OF WILL, AH, AH TIL DAYDREAMS DAH DAH BECOME RICOCHET GLEAMS DAH DAH OF LIFE AND THEN DAYDREAMS DAYDREAMS, AH! ALL JUST HAVE TO COME -- TRUE! (CHORUS enters from wings, waves up at Sutherland, which, bell ringing, is departing. We can tell this because the eyes of the CHORUS, looking out into the audience, follow it as it slowly pulls away) VOICE Cast Off! JACK'S VOICE Goodbye, mother! FLORA Goodbye, Jack! FULL COMPANY (waving) JACK LONDON, JACK LONDON -- SO -- LONG! (Final Curtain.)