Ellen Ann Kafkalas 42 North West Street Allentown, PA 18102 Tel/Fax: 610-740-9318 Lopsided By Ellen Ann Kafkalas For Helen and far too many others (c) 1999 by Ellen Ann Kafkalas. All rights reserved. Rights: Copyright 1999 by Ellen Ann Kafkalas. All rights reserved. CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that LOPSIDED is subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth) and all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention and the Universal Copyright Convention and all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public, reading, radio broad-casting, television, video or sound taping, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying and the rights of translation into foreign languages are strictly reserved. Particular emphasis is laid upon the question of readings, permission for which must be secured from the author in writing. The stage performance rights of LOPSIDED (other than first class rights) are controlled exclusively by the playwright, Ellen Ann Kafkalas, 42 N. West Street, Allentown, PA 18102. No professional or nonprofessional performance of the play (excluding first class professional performance) may be given without obtaining in advance the written permission of the playwright, and paying the requisite fee. Inquiries concerning all other rights should be addressed to: Ellen Ann Kafkalas, 42 N. West Street, Allentown, PA 18102. SPECIAL NOTE: All groups receiving permission to produce LOPSIDED are required to give credit to the author as sole and exclusive author of the play in all programs distributed in connection with performances of the play and in all instances in which the title of the play ap-pears for purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the play and/or a production thereof; the name of the author must appear on a separate line, in which no other names appear, immediately beneath the title and in size of type equal to 50% of the largest letter used for the title of the play. All title pages in the program books must contain the following credit: Lopsided was commissioned by Cedar Crest College and made its world premiere on September 24, 1994 in the Little Theatre, Alumnae Hall. Lopsided was commissioned by Cedar Crest College in 1994, and premiered there in the Alumnae Little Theatre, Allentown, PA, September 23, 24, 25, 30 and October 1 & 2, 1994. The cast was as follows: Megan Jessica Ellis Laurie Robyn Puchyr Mary Kirsten Morabito Gail Melissa Colflesh Peter Mark Fatzinger Director: Steve Hatzai; stage manager: Stacie Cassel; assistant stage manager: Kris Kemmerer; production design: Roxanne T. Amico; technical direction: Glenn Gerchman. Acknowledgments The playwright gives special thanks to: Eileen Bannon, Belka Bednar, Michele DeFrancisco, Pat Oren, Betty Winters, the American Cancer Society, the Cancer Support Team at St. Luke's Hospital, the members of Encore and Make Today Count, the Reach to Recovery Volunteers, and all the survivors of breast cancer that took the time to share their stories. The staff, cast and crew of the Cedar Crest Stage Company, my friends, family, and adopted sisters, and most particularly Helen Kirchofer. Without their love and support, Lopsided would not have been written. Characters (in order of appearance:) MEGAN SINGER: is twenty-six. LAURIE, MARY and GAIL's friend. She is a photojournalist for Millennium magazine LAURIE KOVAK: is twenty-seven. MARY, MEGAN and GAIL'S friend from college. She's a high school teacher in Gaithersburg, MD MARY LEWIS: is twenty-seven. MEGAN, GAIL and LAURIE friend. She is a doctor interning at a Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children, London, England, engaged to PAUL GAIL WILLIAMS: is twenty-seven. LAURIE, MARY and MEGAN's friend. She is a manager at a boutique in New York City PETER LEWIS: is twenty-three. MARY's brother. He's a studio musician Time: Late June, 1994 Setting: London, England ACT ONE Scene One: A Hotel Room, Wednesday before Mary's wedding Scene Two: A Pub, Wednesday evening Scene Three: A Hotel Room, later Wednesday evening Scene Four: A Hotel Room, Thursday morning Scene Five: Heathrow Airport, Thursday afternoon Scene Six: The Garden of Paul's parents house, Thursday evening ACT TWO Scene One: A Hotel Room, later Thursday evening Scene Two: Park Bench, Friday morning Scene Three: A Pub, Friday evening Scene Four: A Hotel Room, later Friday evening Scene Five: The Garden of Paul's parent's house, Saturday afternoon of Mary's wedding ACT ONE Scene One (An afternoon, Wednesday before the wedding. The Lights come up on a Hotel Room. MEGAN enters the room. THE SOUND OF A SHOWER RUNNING IS HEARD. Clothes are laid out on a bed. MEGAN begins to look around the room. LAURIE emerges from the bathroom in a plush hotel robe. MEGAN turns to greet her.) MEGAN Laurie. Oh, god it's great to see you. It's been... LAURIE Three years. You were shooting a rally across the river. (She kisses MEGAN on the cheek) MEGAN What no hug? LAURIE Maybe later. MEGAN Afraid I'm going to rip your robe off and ravish you. LAURIE Not really. How's the magazine? (SHE picks up her clothes) MEGAN (sits on the bed) It's my life now. I work, I eat, and then I work some more. Mother says I'll either have a Pulitzer or a heart attack by thirty if I don't slow down, so I told her, "you're the editor order me to slow down." LAURIE But you haven't, have you? MEGAN Since when did any of us listen to our mothers? LAURIE Let me finish up in the bathroom so you can freshen up. MEGAN (Sighs) Still won't change in front of me. LAURIE Still paranoid as ever. I don't want to excite you too much. MEGAN That'll be the day. (LAURIE sits next to MEGAN) LAURIE I'm glad that you came, Meg. I know that it means a lot to Mary to have her friends here when she's so far from home. MEGAN Well, I wasn't going to miss the chance to catch a glimpse of the guy that stole Mary's heart. She's had her head in her books so long, I never thought she's meet anyone. LAURIE I heard she met him at a hospital fundraiser. He just swept her off her feet. MEGAN I just hope she's happy. That's all that matters to me. LAURIE She sounds like she is. MEGAN That's good. I just wish it took more than a wedding or a funeral to get us back together these days. LAURIE (Seriously) I'm sorry about Danielle. MEGAN Thanks. I got your note. LAURIE Let me change and then we can catch up, okay? (SHE heads for the bathroom.) MEGAN So have you seen the dresses? (MEGAN turns and bumps LAURIE. LAURIE'S clothes tumble.) Sorry LAURIE (LAURIE bends to pick up clothes. MEGAN helps her.) I can get them. MEGAN It's no trouble. So, you didn't answer my question. The dresses? Something out of Gone with the Wind maybe? (She reaches for LAURIE's bra. LAURIE tries to grab it, but MEGAN already has it in her hand.) LAURIE I think even you are going to be pleasantly surprised. MEGAN (MEGAN feels the prosthesis in the bra. MEGAN looks at it and then at LAURIE.) No. Tell me this isn't yours. LAURIE Well we know it's not yours. (LAURIE tries to take the bra from MEGAN, but MEGAN doesn't let go.) MEGAN (There is a silence, as MEGAN seems to be remembering something as she holds the bra) When? LAURIE Seven months ago. Hell-of-a Christmas present, huh? (SHE takes the bra from MEGAN and Sets the clothes back on the bed.) MEGAN Why didn't you tell me? LAURIE You're not exactly the easiest person to find. MEGAN You could have called the magazine. I would have come. It's not like Mother isn't giving me fluff pieces since Dannie's funeral. LAURIE It wasn't necessary for you to come. MEGAN I would have though. LAURIE I know. Look, Meg, Mary told me about Danielle. I know that she... MEGAN Died from it. LAURIE Yeah (SHE holds out her hand to MEGAN) I'll take that hug now. (MEGAN hugs LAURIE and doesn't let go) Hey, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere. MEGAN (MEGAN lets go.) Were you ever gonna' tell me? LAURIE I only told Mary, because, I was scared and I wanted someone to answer my questions, someone that gave a damn about me. MEGAN And I don't. You didn't think I could take it? LAURIE It's not a question of "taking it." Look, from what Mary told me about Dannie ... I didn't want to burden you. It seemed like you'd been through so much, so quickly. MEGAN Jesus, Laurie, I'm your friend. Were you gonna' tell me at all? LAURIE I don't know, Meg. Maybe I wanted to see you first. To talk about your latest assignment, my star pupils, something other than this god-damned cancer. Look, if it's any consolation, I don't think I have the same kind as Dannie. Things look pretty good for me. MEGAN What kind is it? LAURIE Intraductal Carcinoma. Which means... MEGAN It was in a duct, and it didn't spread, and you probably found a hard lump. If I'm not mistaken your odds are pretty good if you found it early enough. LAURIE You've done your research. MEGAN I read anything I could get my hands on. (MEGAN takes LAURIE's hand and they sit on the bed.) What did you have done? LAURIE Mastectomy followed by radiation. MEGAN Why'd they do that? LAURIE Small boobs. MEGAN They sure they got it all? LAURIE As sure as they can be. MEGAN Are you still tired from the radiation? LAURIE Not as much. I did feel tired when I had the radiation, and it's not the kind of tired that sleeping helps. I was so exhausted I had to rearrange my teaching schedule though. Fortunately the school was great. MEGAN Dannie had inflammatory breast cancer. She didn't find a lump or anything. Her skin was red and warm for a month or so. The doctor thought it was an infection he gave her some antibiotics. When they didn't work he sent her for a biopsy. There was chemo and a double mastectomy and then more chemo ... doesn't sound anything like yours. Dannie's was very rare. Spreads in the lymph vessels of the skin ... they did everything they could, they just found it too late. LAURIE I'm really sorry, Meg, I know how much she meant to you. MEGAN I think about her all the time. I even have her diaries. Her publisher wants me to release them, says they could help other women. I've been thinking about doing it. I mean if it could help someone else. Just so people could know there are different kinds. LAURIE I use one of Dannie's stories in my new writers course. I just started doing it last September. I thought I'd tell her in my Christmas card... MEGAN Which one? LAURIE What? MEGAN Which story? LAURIE Losing My Heart. MEGAN She would have been pleased. (MEGAN laughs) She would have liked the irony of this. LAURIE I hope you don't mind, Meg but I asked Mary to put us together. I couldn't be around Gail right now, and I didn't really want to be alone... MEGAN No. I'm glad I'm with you and not Gail. She didn't even acknowledge Dannie's death. So, why didn't Stu come? Senator couldn't get by without him? LAURIE (SHE stands and picks clothes up) He's history. (exits into the bathroom) MEGAN He left you? LAURIE Said he couldn't take losing me. I haven't even heard from him since I began radiation. He just packed his things and left. No forwarding address or anything. MEGAN What an asshole. When did he leave you? LAURIE January, after the operation. MEGAN So you went through this all by yourself? LAURIE No. My mom came to stay with me. MEGAN How is your Mom? LAURIE She's great. MEGAN What about your Dad? LAURIE I called home to tell them about the operation, and my father answered, and I said, "Daddy, I have some disturbing news. I have to have mastectomy." And my father said, "Uh, I think you better talk to your mother dear." and past the phone to Mom. MEGAN But he came to see you, right? LAURIE Oh, yeah, he was there with Mom and Stuart when I woke up from surgery. (emerges, dressed in a shorts outfit buttoned up to the top button.) Well? MEGAN You always look beautiful, Laurie, you know that. LAURIE You always were a charmer. (kisses MEGAN on the cheek). MEGAN I mean it. LAURIE Thank you. I just have to believe it again. Come on. Freshen up and lets go to the party. MEGAN (MEGAN exits into the bathroom) You know Stu is a real asshole. I met a lot of great guys during Dannie's hospitalizations. Most of them were concerned about the cancer, not their wives breasts. I guess old Gail would be surprised her prince Stuart turned out to be such a toad. I know this one woman who has the same kind of cancer as Dannie did. She was thinking about reconstruction, and her husband told her not to have it done for him. He was happy with her just the way she was. (SHE emerges from the bathroom, hair combed, etc.) I just can't believe anyone would be dumb enough to let you go. LAURIE (LAURIE laughs) You always were my biggest fan. Should we go? MEGAN (MEGAN motions to the door) After you. (Lights fade) ACT ONE Scene Two (A Pub, Wednesday evening. MARY dressed in a party sits at a table. A bottle of champagne is chilling on the table, and there are four glasses. MEGAN and LAURIE enter.) MARY Meg, Laurie! (MARY moves to greet them) LAURIE You look great, Mary (SHE hugs MARY) MARY You look pretty good yourself. MEGAN I see she got a hug right off the bat. (SHE hugs MARY) And, I have a bone to pick with you, Doc. MARY (looks at LAURIE) You told her? MEGAN I beat it out of her MARY Don't look at me. She made me promise. LAURIE (SHE sits down) Could we change the subject. Please. MARY How are you doing, Meg? MEGAN I'm doing the best I can, Doc. MARY Well, I'm glad you came. MEGAN I wouldn't have missed it for the world. MARY Thanks. (MEGAN and MARY cross to the table to join LAURIE). MEGAN Are we just waiting for Gail? LAURIE Who else. Maybe we should open the champagne while we're waiting. MEGAN Sounds good to me. MARY Maybe we should wait for Gail. MEGAN You know Gail. (Looks at her watch) She's running on Gail time. (Starts to open and then pour the champagne) Remember that time that you and I waited two hours for her at Eddie's restaurant? (to LAURIE) We were supposed to meet for brunch and then go to a movie. When she finally did show up we had eaten and were ready to go the movie ... MARY Yeah, and she got pissed off at us for wanting to leave her there alone. MEGAN And of course you and I stood our ground and ended up seeing that awful movie. What was it? MARY I don't remember. All I remember is we missed the one we wanted to see while we were waiting at Eddie's. LAURIE Well, I say we toast. (raises her glass) To Mary and Paul and marital bliss ... MEGAN To friendship. ALL Here. Here (They ALL click glasses and drink. GAIL enters. She is dressed in the latest fashion.) GAIL I see you've started with out me. No problem. I'll just catch up. (GAIL takes a sip of champagne. Then she starts around the circle greeting each person.) Mary, you look divine. Megan, sorry about Dannie. I would have written but ... MEGAN You never could pick up a pen. GAIL And Laurie, How's Stuart? LAURIE I wouldn't know. I haven't seen him since January. GAIL Mary didn't tell me that. (smacks MARY on top of the head and sits down) So he's available? MEGAN Not much of a catch, if you ask me GAIL But he's a terrific lay, isn't he, Laurie? LAURIE Define terrific? MARY Don't start anything. GAIL Who me? MEGAN So how's the Greenwich Village boutique? GAIL Margarita is still a bitch. She hasn't given me a raise in over two years, even though I've taken over most of the managerial responsibilities. But my therapist tells me that I need to assert myself more and get these hostilities out. MEGAN You're still seeing that therapist. GAIL I'm down to once a week except when I have PMS. So, Laurie, how's the brat pack? LAURIE Fine. MEGAN So, Doc, you got us all back together for this shindig. What's the plan? MARY Tomorrow we go for fittings. Then we can do the sight seeing stuff. Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, The Wallace Collection, the Tower of London where the crown jewels are on display. Then tomorrow evening Paul's family is having a party at their country house. The night after we have the rehearsal and after that Paul and I have agreed we will have our own little "last night" flings with our respective friends. I thought we could go to Planet Hollywood. Then Saturday, Paul and I get married. GAIL Sounds simply splendid. So, Laurie why did you dump Stuart? LAURIE I didn't dump him. GAIL Then that means he dumped you. MARY I'm warning you, Gail, drop it. GAIL Just asking questions of people I haven't seen in several years. I didn't realize that was a capital crime. MEGAN So when do we get to meet your fiancé? MARY Tomorrow at his parents house. GAIL I can't wait. I'm a little surprised though, I mean I heard the English are so stiff. Or is that what you like about him? MARY It's good see to that some people never change. GAIL Well, it seems Stuart had a change of heart. MARY Gail! LAURIE (Rises to leave) Look, I don't have time for this shit! I thought we were all adults now. GAIL Don't be so dramatic ... LAURIE I'm gonna' go upstairs and lie down. MARY Don't leave Laurie. LAURIE I'm sorry Mary. I'm feeling a little jet lagged. I just need to lie down. (SHE kisses Mary on the cheek) MARY I'll come check on you. LAURIE I'm fine. (SHE exits) MEGAN (to GAIL) You just can't let anything go can you? GAIL Hey, she stole my fucking boyfriend, not yours! MEGAN She didn't steal Stuart, what is he a piece of property? Maybe he just preferred being with someone that wasn't always on the rag. GAIL And what the hell does that mean? MEGAN You know exactly what it means. (MARY tries to stop MEGAN.) Excuse me, Doc, I don't want to destroy what's left of your evening. I'm gonna' go check on Laurie. MARY (to GAIL) Remind me to invite you to all my parties that I want to ruin. (Lights fade) ACT ONE Scene Three (The hotel room, later Wednesday evening. LAURIE has locked herself in the bathroom. MEGAN is sitting on the bed cleaning her camera equipment.) MEGAN I could show you some of my photographs of the rich and over photographed. I brought my proofs. LAURIE I told you to leave me alone. MEGAN I'm not the one that was a shit to you. You don't have to be mean to me. I gave up a perfectly good fluff piece at Club Med to see you people, the least you could do is pretend you're happy to see me. LAURIE (SHE emerges from the bathroom.) I'm sorry (SHE sits on the edge of the bed.) You've never been a shit to me. MEGAN Not in several years anyway. LAURIE Why can't she let it go? MEGAN 'Cuz she's insecure. She's always been insecure. She was on a mission at school, and you got in the way. You know she was out for her MRS degree. Jesus, don't you remember how her mother used to call her every weekend, "are you seeing anyone? are you going steady? are you engaged?" The girl was on a manhunt and her mother was like a vulture waiting for the kill. LAURIE Sometimes, I think that God is punishing me? MEGAN Why would she do that? LAURIE I wish you'd stop calling him her. Do you have to carry everything to the extreme. MEGAN I don't make fun of your beliefs. LAURIE Well, I think he's sitting up there saying, "Laurie Kovack, you've been a shit." MEGAN Gail's right about one thing, you are dramatic. LAURIE I don't feel dramatic. I've been through so much crap in the past year. I have to have done something wrong. MEGAN Like what? LAURIE I did everything you were supposed to do, Meg. Low fat diet, alcohol only on the weekends in limited quantity, the gym three times a week ... and I still got it. MEGAN But no one knows what causes it. LAURIE Don't you see it must have been something I did. MEGAN Something like dating Stuart Pompous Ass the Third? LAURIE Meg, I got this cough after the radiation. (Crosses away from MEGAN). This incessant, persistent cough that haunted me wherever I went. And I thought this is it? This is worse than Chinese water torture. It's not bad enough I lost part of my body, I'm undergoing radiation to kill off mutant cells growing in my system, I feel like a truck hit me - I have this cough. Any time I went to laugh, or cry, or even breathe - I'd cough. It was maddening. And I tried to not let it get to me. I tried to keep have a "good attitude." But I couldn't help but think, it's something I've done. God is punishing me for something I've done ... And for the life of me I can't figure out what it is ... I thought it was because I took Stuart, but then he left me. MEGAN (MEGAN crosses to LAURIE and tries to comfort her.) Shh, Stop beating up on yourself. No one deserves cancer. LAURIE I never meant to hurt Gail. MEGAN I know. LAURIE I should have known she'd want him back. She always wanted him back. But, I went out with him anyway. Why'd I do that? MEGAN No accounting for taste I guess. LAURIE I shouldn't have done it, Meg. MEGAN But you did, and that's not why any of this is happening. I know how you feel, or at least I know that Dannie felt the same way when they were pumping her system full of chemicals, I mean that's what chemotherapy is, isn't it? But it's not a punishment. God's not like that. She's all forgiving. If she's not how do you explain the little kids that get it, how rotten could they be? It just happens. And it sucks when it does, but it is not your fault. LAURIE I'm gonna' get ready for bed. (SHE crosses to the table to get her makeup bag.) MEGAN You don't believe me. LAURIE I can't accept that this didn't happen for a reason. MEGAN Why not? LAURIE Everything happens for a reason, Meg, that's the way things are. MEGAN You have to be so damn analytical about everything. LAURIE Staring the grim reaper in the face does that to you. MEGAN I don't want to talk about this with you. (MEGAN grabs her coat and camera case.) LAURIE Why not? MEGAN Because I need to get some air. I'm gonna' take a walk. LAURIE Go ahead. MEGAN I will. I'll catch you later. (MEGAN exits. Lights fade) ACT ONE Scene four (A Hotel Room, Thursday morning. LAURIE sits on the bed next to MARY, THEY are wrapping favors in netting and tying them.) MARY You sure you're okay? LAURIE If you ask me that one more time I'm going to scream. MARY I'm just concerned. LAURIE Don't be. Look, my white count is up, my radiation is done, they think they've killed everything that they didn't already cut off. I'm as okay as a lopsided person can be ... and to be perfectly honest I try not to dwell on it too much. MARY I wish I wasn't so far away. LAURIE Why you think I'm going to die on you? MARY Laurie! LAURIE What's wrong? It's the only thing we're guaranteed of in this lifetime you know. Death is the only thing we know for sure will come after birth - everything in between is gravy. MARY That's one way to look at it I guess. LAURIE Cancer doesn't have to mean death, Mary. I know that's what everyone thinks. But they're wrong. MARY Well, since you put it that way. LAURIE I'm thankful for my friends and all their love and support, but please, when I tell you it's okay believe me. (Crosses to the table to curl the bows on the favors with a scissors.) If anything I've learned to put my life in order. For instance, I used to teach this class in Russian literature ... Crime & Punishment real uplifting stuff, and I hated it. So, I went to the administration, and I said, "I don't feel that I can do this class justice, I've never enjoyed it and I think my students have an equally miserable time, and I don't intend to teach it anymore. So, if you want to keep it in your curriculum, you're going to have to find another teacher." MARY And what did they say? LAURIE That's the thing. They said, "Fine." MARY Fine? LAURIE Evidently I have a strong following in the student body. They were quite upset when I was out. I got so many flowers and cards - people in the hospital thought I was a celebrity. So, I guess the administration doesn't want mess with me. MARY So you're learning how to manipulate people. LAURIE No, I'm learning how to prioritize. (Crosses back to bed.) Take your wedding, for example, I came because I love you and I wanted to be a part of your celebration. It was important for me to be here, and I would have come whether my radiation was done or not. MARY I'm glad you're here. LAURIE I am too. How many more of these do we have to make? MARY About twenty more. My in-laws wanted to buy everything, but I just couldn't be that detached from my own wedding. LAURIE It's a little bit like a fairy tale wedding. Beautiful, intelligent, doctor to be marries architect at the Chapel Royal at the Hampton Court Palace ... There's got a be a Harlequin plot here somewhere. MARY Wait until you see the church it's gorgeous. LAURIE I'm sure it is. MARY So, are you seeing anyone? LAURIE No, Mary, my social calendars been a bit full. MARY Just wondering. My brother's coming for the wedding. LAURIE Peter? MARY He's going to be one of the groom's men. LAURIE That's such a weird term. It's so stuffy. MARY He'll be here this afternoon, actually. I have to go Heathrow and get him. LAURIE It'll be nice to see him again. MARY I thought you might think so. LAURIE Hey, don't go getting any ideas. MARY I don't know what you mean. LAURIE Yes, you do. You think that because I've always thought Peter was attractive that I'm going to want to start dating him. MARY You're an adult now, Laurie, you can do what you want. LAURIE I'm only going to say this once, Mary. I am not interested in men at all right now. MARY Who are you kidding? You have always been interested in men. Unless, hey you and Meg haven't ... you would tell me right? LAURIE Well, we were going to go pick out our pattern today at Harrods's before announcing anything officially ... MARY Very funny. LAURIE Meg and I are buddies. We've always been buddies. Oh, I know there was a time when everyone thought that maybe there would be more ... but, I like men. MARY That's what I said. LAURIE And I like Meg too much to screw up our friendship. That's usually what happens when I fall for someone. I'm not ready for that yet. Understand? MARY Well, Peter has always had a thing for you. LAURIE Are you listening to me? MARY Yeah. You don't want me to play matchmaker. I'm just telling you that my baby brother thinks you are terrific. LAURIE And, I'm warning you, back off. (Lights fade) ACT ONE Scene five (Heathrow Airport, Thursday afternoon. LAURIE stands waiting, looking at her watch. over the loud speaker we hear "May I have your attention please. British Airways flight 445 to Madrid is now boarding at Gate 21. British Airways flight 445 is now boarding at Gate 21." PETER enters carrying a duffle bag and a guitar. HE recognizes her and smiles.) PETER You're not my sister. LAURIE No, she had to go for a last minute fitting. So, I was elected. PETER Well, I'm glad they picked you. Do you mind if we have sit for a moment? Flying always makes me a little shaky. LAURIE I know what you mean. PETER (Sits down. LAURIE sits next to him.) I try to avoid it at all costs. But, when you have free room and board in a foreign country ... I guess you bite the bullet. LAURIE Dramamine always seems to work for me. Knocks me right out. PETER I tried one of those patches. But, I still feel a little shaky. LAURIE So, you've been visiting before? PETER Couldn't let my only sister marry just anyone, could I? LAURIE I haven't met him yet, but, Mary seems very happy. PETER That's all that matters to me. God, I haven't seen you since Mary's 21st birthday party. LAURIE That was quite an evening. PETER Leave it to Meg to throw a party. How is she? LAURIE She looks great. PETER Well, Meg always looks great. What I meant was ... well, I went with Mary to Danielle's memorial service in November. I've never seen anyone so devastated. I didn't think she'd ever be the same. LAURIE Megan used to say that she'd found her other half, just like in that myth. PETER What myth? LAURIE I'm sorry, it's not a myth, I think it's something Plato wrote ... about two lovers being two halves of the same person. PETER I never heard that. LAURIE See the story says that all people were joined in pairs, but the neat part is that some were men and women, some were men and men, and some were women and women. And this race of people went to war with the gods, and the gods split them in two. So now these people roam the earth searching for their other half. PETER That would explain a lot of things, wouldn't it? So, anyway, tell me what's up with you. What have you been doing with yourself since you moved to Maryland? LAURIE Well, you know I'm a teacher. PETER I wish all my high school teachers were as pretty as you. I might have done better. LAURIE My understanding was that you did do rather well. PETER Mary always sings my praises a bit too loudly. LAURIE Julliard's an impressive school. PETER More impressive if you actually graduate. LAURIE Oh, I thought ... PETER It's not that I couldn't cut it or anything. I just started getting these studio gigs playing on people's albums. I got to play, have a blast and get paid. And my stuff is on discs now. But, I've been thinking about finishing. LAURIE Who have you played with? PETER Hey, now we're talking about me again. I want to hear about you. What do you teach? LAURIE English. PETER Really? I've always been a bit of an English buff myself. So, if I were to say, for instance - Poets for $200. "To be alone with you at the close of day with only you in view while evening slips away. It only goes to show that while life's pleasures be few, the only one I know is when I'm alone with you." LAURIE That's pretty. PETER It's one of my favorites. LAURIE But, I think you might be stretching the realm of poetry, Peter. PETER What makes you say that? LAURIE Bob Dylan was a lyricist. PETER Well, then I'll have to try a real poet for $300. "Sing, for Faith and Hope are high, none so true as you and I. Sing the Lovers' Litany: 'Love like ours can never die!" LAURIE Rudyard Kipling. And by my calculations you owe me five hundred dollars. PETER A math wizard, too! Would you settle for two tickets to Sunset Boulevard? LAURIE I was just kidding. PETER I wasn't. I know one of the musicians in the pit, I can get us decent seats. We could go to Planet Hollywood for a bite and then hit the theatre afterwards. LAURIE I have your sister's bachelorette party. PETER After the wedding then? LAURIE I don't think that's a very good idea. PETER Did I say something to offend you? LAURIE No. PETER It was the quotes wasn't it? You don't like showing off. LAURIE No, it's just not a good time, okay. PETER Okay. LAURIE (pause) We should be going. PETER But, as a man of honor, you must allow me to make good on my debt. Maybe a trip to the National Gallery, the Parliament ... be adventurous and think of something. I'll be here for several days after the wedding. LAURIE So, will I. (SHE exits.) PETER I know, Mary told me. (Lights fade) ACT ONE Scene Six (The garden of Paul's parent's house. Thursday evening. MEGAN, dressed in a silky pantsuit, is seated on a bench. GAIL, dressed in a black party dress, is standing near her.) MEGAN Why are you still pissed off about Stuart. It was five years ago. GAIL Because, I haven't met anyone that could make me forget him. But, I suppose that it's more of the principle. Laurie was so pretty and charming in school she could have had anyone. So, why'd she have to take my man? MEGAN She didn't take him. You dumped him. GAIL You're a fine one to talk. Besides you always take Laurie's side. If you and Dannie didn't fall in love, I would have sworn that you would pine away for Laurie until the end of time. MEGAN (takes a sip of her drink) I was in love with her, I'll admit it. GAIL So why didn't you try harder. Maybe you could have gotten her, and I could have kept Stu. MEGAN Because, I met Danielle ... besides, Laurie doesn't love me that way. GAIL Well, I still wish you would have tried. MEGAN Can I ask you something? GAIL Could I stop you? MEGAN Can't you let it go? For Mary's sake. I mean we are here to celebrate with her. It's her time. GAIL You make it sound so easy. MEGAN I don't pretend that anything is easy. I'm just wondering if this was going to be so tough for you, why'd you come? GAIL Because, you people may not realize it but I miss you. I have hoards of friends in New York and we go out to all the "in" places, but I can't be myself around them. I mean, you guys know I can be a shit, but you still always include me ... PETER (enters) Pardon me, ladies, but Mary has asked me to inform you that the dancing is about to begin. MEGAN Thank you. PETER I believe that she would like the both of you to come back inside. GAIL Come on, Meg. MEGAN You go. I'm gonna' stay out here for a couple of minutes. GAIL (GAIL playfully scolds) You don't want to disappoint your host. MEGAN I don't dance anymore. GAIL Okay, but you don't know what you're missing. (GAIL exits and PETER walks toward MEGAN) PETER Are you okay, Megan? MEGAN I'm fine. PETER Can I ask you something? MEGAN Sure. (MEGAN motions for him to sit down and HE does.) PETER I asked Laurie to go to dinner and the theatre with me after the wedding, and she shot me down pretty quickly. Do you have any suggestions? MEGAN Laurie's been through some rough times, what with Stu leaving her and all. Maybe you should just leave well enough alone. PETER She doesn't like me, does she? MEGAN Did I say that? I said, she's vulnerable now. Now might not be the best time. PETER When Mary told me that Laurie was going to be here, I changed my plane reservations to arrive a day earlier and leave a couple days later. MEGAN Hey, Pete, it's not like you and Laurie ever had a thing ... PETER So, I'm a dreamer. Sue me. MEGAN Pete, my man, you have so much to learn about women. We're not possessions. PETER I never said you were. MEGAN You can't think that just because you want Laurie to notice you, she will. You have to win her affection. PETER How? MEGAN Do I look like Dear Abby? PETER Not quite. Do you believe in love at first sight? MEGAN I subscribe to it. PETER That's how I feel about Laurie. The first time Mary brought you guys to the lake house, I took one look at Laurie and I fell in love. MEGAN Why? Because she's attractive? PETER I'd be lying if I said she wasn't, but, I know it's not just that. I mean, I like being around her. I felt like that story that she told me the other day, the one that you tell. MEGAN What story? PETER The thing that Plato said about the people that are connected. MEGAN You do have it bad. PETER That's what I'm trying to tell you. MEGAN I'm not telling you to pursue her, okay. But, think about what you know about her and about what you think she might like ... and give it a second shot, if you want. PETER Maybe I'll go ask her to dance. MEGAN That sounds like a start. PETER You coming? MEGAN No, I'm fine here. (PETER exits. MEGAN moves about the garden. LAURIE enters and places her hands on MEGAN's shoulders) LAURIE Penny for your thoughts. MEGAN (looks at LAURIE) I fear you wouldn't be getting your monies worth. Did you see Peter? LAURIE No. MEGAN You must have just past each other. LAURIE Don't try and be a Yenta, it doesn't suit you. MEGAN All I said was he was looking for you. LAURIE Okay. You have to be thinking about something. You've been out here the better part of the night. MEGAN (Crosses away from LAURIE). I don't want to talk about it. LAURIE (Follows MEGAN.) Meg, if you're upset about me. Don't be. MEGAN I told you before, you may think God's mad at you, but she's not that mad at me. (MEGAN squeezes LAURIE's hand) I know you're going to be all right. LAURIE I hope so. (MEGAN keeps LAURIE's hand in hers and sits on the bench. LAURIE sits next to her.) MEGAN So that Peter's kind of cute, huh? LAURIE Can you guys cut me a break. MEGAN I just said he was cute. LAURIE What do you know. He didn't come on to you. MEGAN So he made a pass at you, if you could call it that. The way you were talking before you'd think he'd killed your mother or something. LAURIE I am not ready for this right now. MEGAN Why not? LAURIE Because I don't feel attractive. MEGAN That's ridiculous, you look great. LAURIE You haven't seen me naked. MEGAN So take off your clothes, let me be the judge. LAURIE Here? Besides, you already know what this kind of scar looks like. So, you wouldn't be shocked. MEGAN Is your scar that ugly? LAURIE I think it is. I feel disfigured. MEGAN (Stands) I can't believe that you're buying into all this crap about your breasts making you a woman. LAURIE Easy for you to say, you're gay. MEGAN And you're an English teacher. So what? LAURIE You know what I mean. MEGAN Look, I happen to know Peter. I spent many a holiday with the Lewis family and Peter's a great guy. He's soft spoken, an artist, sensitive, not to mention pretty damn good looking. Not at all like Stu ... what do you want an engraved invitation? LAURIE And when he wants to take me to bed what am I supposed to say? By the way I sacrificed my left breast to the great god of cancer in exchange for my life. MEGAN You're so dramatic. I didn't say to fuck him, I said it can't hurt to get to know him. You do remember the art of conversation? LAURIE Just change the subject, okay? MEGAN (MEGAN sits down on the bench beside LAURIE). No. I want to know what that pompous ass did to you? LAURIE It's what he didn't do, okay? MEGAN You mean after the operation, he never ... LAURIE Made love to me. He couldn't look at me, even with clothes on, it was like he was looking right through me. MEGAN God help that son-of-a-bitch if I ever find him. LAURIE Don't waste your time on him. MEGAN Laurie, you can't go by him. (touches LAURIE's hair) You are still an incredibly beautiful woman. Any man would be lucky to have you. LAURIE (Crosses away from MEGAN). I was so tough when it all happened. I asked all the right questions, I read everything I could get my hands on, I was determined that this would not get the best of me. I'm still determined. But when I go out to the mall and I look around at other women in beautiful dresses and swimsuits ... and what about when I do want to make love with someone again? When do I tell them, what do I tell them? MEGAN (MEGAN crosses towards LAURIE). Look, Stu was a fluke. There are a lot of nice guys out there. Peter seems like one of them. Lord knows he's always had a thing for you. (MEGAN touches the back of LAURIE's shoulder). But whether it's Peter or Larry, Moe or Curly you're going to have to put yourself out there again. You're going to have to take a chance. LAURIE (pulls away from MEGAN, and turns to face her.) I don't know what to tell people. Can't you understand that? MEGAN Well, I know, and I'd be honored to be with you. LAURIE Shut up, Meg. MEGAN You think I'm teasing you, don't you? LAURIE That's what we do, Meg. We tease each other. MEGAN We don't have to. I've always loved you know that. LAURIE I love you too. You're my best friend. MEGAN And it kills me to see you hurting like this. LAURIE I can't help how I feel. MEGAN (MEGAN grabs LAURIE's shoulders) There's no reason to feel that way. LAURIE How can I make you see what I mean? MEGAN I only see what's in front of me. A beautiful, intelligent, loving woman ... (MEGAN kisses LAURIE. LAURIE pulls away and looks at her for a moment, then runs out. MEGAN smacks herself in the head.) Stupid, Megan, really stupid ... (Lights fade) ACT TWO Scene one (A Hotel Room. Later Thursday evening. LAURIE is sitting on the bed reading, she checks her watch. MEGAN enters.) LAURIE Where have you been? MEGAN Walking. (SHE begins to pack her things.) LAURIE I was worried about you, when you didn't come back with the others. MEGAN Oh. LAURIE Meg, you kissed me. MEGAN And you ran away. LAURIE That was stupid of me, but, why did you do it? MEGAN 'Cuz I wasn't thinking. LAURIE What are you doing? MEGAN The front desk said there's another room on the third floor. LAURIE You're changing rooms? MEGAN I thought you'd be more comfortable. LAURIE Why are you going to try and jump me in my sleep? MEGAN Forgive me if I don't want to banter. (MEGAN starts to exit. LAURIE cuts her off.) LAURIE Meg, stop being an idiot and talk to me. MEGAN What? LAURIE I'm a little confused. I thought you were upset about Dannie. MEGAN I was. LAURIE So why kiss me? MEGAN Because you're attractive ... desirable ... scared ... and I'm hurting. LAURIE I told you in school that I ... MEGAN Don't love me that way. I heard you. LAURIE Then why? MEGAN Because I'm a fucking idiot, okay? (MEGAN moves away from LAURIE, sets the suitcase down.) LAURIE I'm just trying to understand. MEGAN Look, I crossed that invisible line that we set up years ago. And I probably blew the best relationship I have left in my life, but, Jesus, Laurie, I can't take it back. I'm sorry. I just don't know how to make you see that you're still you. You're still beautiful and sexy ... and you're the best friend I have in the world. I just pray I haven't screwed things up too badly. LAURIE You didn't screw things up. MEGAN Yes, I did. I'm just so crazy about you, Laurie. I can't stand to see you hurting like this. LAURIE So you thought kissing me would help? MEGAN You think that no one knows how you feel. Well, you're wrong. I was scared when Dannie came back from the hospital. I mean I thought of her body like a work of art chiseled by Michelangelo. I used to spend hours just watching her. She was just as scared as you are ... but I was so thankful that she was alive. I know that she had scars ... but I don't remember them being anything more than a new part of her. And I just felt so blessed to be able to hold her in my arms again ... that meant more than anything. Don't you see, I just wanted to make you feel loved ... and I guess I wanted ... (MEGAN crosses towards LAURIE, but stops herself from reaching out.) LAURIE You really miss her don't you. MEGAN More than anything. LAURIE I was relieved when you met Danielle. MEGAN Why? LAURIE Partly because I was off the hook ... MEGAN Off the hook? LAURIE Yeah. I knew how you felt about me long before you told me. I wish I could feel the same way. MEGAN That makes two of us. LAURIE My friendship's always been enough for you. MEGAN (Sits down on the bed.) It still is. I guess I was missing Dannie and you were hurting, tell me the other reason you were glad I met Dannie. LAURIE (Sits in the chair next to the bed.) Because she understood you. And, she brought out the best in you. MEGAN I know. I'm afraid that I've lost that now. LAURIE You can't lose something that was always there to begin with. MEGAN I just feel lost without her. LAURIE I knew you would. MEGAN And Mother keeps sending me on these assignments photograph this star or that upcoming talent. I'm beginning to feel like I work for People magazine. Not an award-winning magazine like Millennium. LAURIE She's just concerned, Meg. She's always been that way. MEGAN I close my eyes at night and I try to picture Dannie like she was the first day I photographed her ... so young and full of promise. But all I can see is her wasting away. And, I'm not sad so much as angry. Angry that she's gone. Angry that I'll never know what it's like to grow old together ... that I'll never know that kind of love again ... I'm angry that I had to hold her hand while they pumped that stuff into her system ... that I had to convince her that I still loved her ... that I had to watch her die, damn-it! She was only thirty-one. But, I'm not angry with God anymore. Now, I'm angry at the doctors ... angry that they don't know more. That they couldn't save her. That we live in a country that cares more about weapons than about it's people ... they can spend billions of dollars on a plane that can destroy lives ... but they can't find a cure for a disease that's killing people ... that we didn't even know there was such a thing as inflammatory cancer ... (MEGAN moves away from LAURIE) I'm sorry. I don't think we should have this conversation. LAURIE Why not? You don't think I feel the anger? No one knows that much about it. I read all the literature. MEGAN Who knew that there were different kinds. Maybe if we knew we'd have something to look for. LAURIE We're too young to have to worry about breast cancer. You're not even supposed to get a mammogram until your forty! MEGAN No matter who gets it, it still sucks. LAURIE I'm not saying that anyone should get it. Jesus, do you think I wanted it? (MEGAN doesn't answer.) Well, do you, Meg? Meg, look at me. (MEGAN moves further away. LAURIE moves toward her) Look at me, damn-it! (LAURIE forces MEGAN to turn around. MEGAN is crying.) MEGAN I can't. I keep thinking that I'm going to lose you, too. LAURIE (pulls MEGAN into her arms) That's silly. I'm gonna' be okay. MEGAN (pulls away) Don't comfort me. You're the one that I should be comforting. LAURIE We both know how that turned out. Besides, you don't have to be tough for me. I can't even imagine what you've been through. I mean I think about Stuart leaving me, and I can't even compare it. You lost your true love. MEGAN I told myself I wasn't going to do this. LAURIE It's okay, Meg. (LAURIE touches her shoulder) Hey, it's okay. Best friends are hard to come by, you are not going to lose me. I'm fighting this thing, and I'm gonna' beat it. All I want is a normal life. I need you to believe that I can have it. I need you to believe in me. MEGAN I want to. Oh, God, Laurie, I want to. Dannie thought she was going to beat it too, until the second operation and the fourth round of chemo ... LAURIE She didn't want to leave you, Meg. MEGAN Then why isn't she here? LAURIE (hugs MEGAN) Oh, Meg, she loved you. Sometimes, you just can't fight it. Maybe if they would have found it sooner ... I know if they would have found it sooner, she would still be here. She was a fighter. MEGAN I miss her so much. LAURIE (rocks MEGAN gently) I know. I know. It's okay. Just let it all out. (Lights fade) ACT TWO Scene Two (A park bench, Friday morning. MEGAN is photographing LAURIE and MARY.) MARY She's just a shit at times. LAURIE You invited her. MARY Yeah, well, I thought that she'd matured. MEGAN Haven't you kept in touch with her. MARY Not like I keep in touch with you guys. LAURIE Why'd you ask her? MARY Because she asked me, remember? MEGAN Yeah, Laurie, don't you remember her ten-minute marriage to that drug dealer. MARY Rick wasn't a drug dealer. MEGAN Oh, no he just had a bad sinus condition. (PETER enters.) PETER Good morning, sis. (HE kisses her) And ladies. (hands MARY a set of keys) Here are the keys for the car, thanks. You'll be pleased to know that the tux looks great. MARY Good now we can move on to the Tower of London. MEGAN Yes, wouldn't want to miss those crown jewels. LAURIE Maybe I should skip the tower. PETER I was going to see the Royal Shakespeare Company. I'd love it if you came with me. LAURIE That's sweet, Peter, but ... PETER As You Like It. LAURIE Well, I ... PETER I understand, you not a fan of the bards, right? MEGAN Laurie loves Shakespeare. She just doesn't want to hurt your sister's feelings, do you, Laurie? MARY You wouldn't hurt my feelings. Pete, could you be a doll and run across the street and get me some more film? (MARY hands him her camera) PETER Sure. (HE exits) LAURIE No lectures. MEGAN Okay, Laurie do you want to go with us to see the jewels and your buddy Gail? Or ... LAURIE Not really. MARY Maybe you should just tell Gail. LAURIE What? MARY About you. LAURIE No way. For what? So she can feel sorry for me? MEGAN How do you know she'll feel sorry for you? LAURIE I'm warning both of you. I don't want her to know. MEGAN Well, Doc, I guess we've been told. MARY I guess so. MEGAN So, then you want to go with Peter? LAURIE I don't want to do that either. MARY What's wrong with my brother? LAURIE There's nothing wrong with your brother. He's terrific, okay? MARY Look, why don't you just go with him. It's just a play, and you love Shakespeare. PETER (enters with the film, which he hands to MARY) Here you go. MARY Thanks. LAURIE Peter, I'd like to go with you. PETER Really? LAURIE I'm a big Shakespeare fan, and I've wanted to see The Royal Shakespeare Company. PETER Great. MARY Well, Meg and I should run then. So that Gail doesn't feel like we've all abandoned her. Have fun. MEGAN Meet you back at the hotel later. (THEY exit). PETER You get the feeling they're rooting for us? LAURIE That's putting it mildly. PETER Look, if you're uncomfortable, I could give you the tickets, and I could do something else. LAURIE They're your tickets. PETER I know. I just don't know why I make you so uncomfortable. LAURIE It's not you, Peter. PETER So then it's all men? LAURIE No. Only the ones ... PETER Only which ones? LAURIE We should get going. PETER But, I want to know. LAURIE It's not important. Let's see if we can go make the guards at the palace crack up before we go the play. PETER I don't know we tried that last time I was here. Those guys don't laugh at anything. LAURIE Well, we could try. PETER I'm game if you are. LAURIE Great. (HE exits. SHE starts to follow as lights fade) ACT TWO Scene Three (Planet Hollywood, Friday evening. GAIL, MEGAN, and MARY have been dancing. THEY enter from the dance floor, drinks in hand, and cross to a table.) GAIL I bet the guys have a stripper, we should have gotten a stripper. MARY (laughs) I don't need a stripper. GAIL Too bad. Well, it's your last night of freedom, Mary, but if it were mine, I'd want a stripper. MARY I'm just happy all of my friends could be here. (MARY raises her glass) To friendship. (ALL toast) GAIL Well, I'm gonna' go find some stud to dance with. Since Laurie's in the ladies room maybe I'll have a chance. MEGAN Hey, we're here to have a good time, remember. (LAURIE enters) GAIL (to LAURIE) You even have women falling at your feet, now. MEGAN You can be a real pig sometime, Gail, you know that. GAIL Why, because I say what I think? LAURIE She's just being pissy to everyone, because she's mad at me. GAIL Damn right, I am. MARY I've asked you nicely to not do this. Now, sit down, Gail. GAIL (mimics MARY) Sit down, Gail. Everyone always takes Laurie's side. I don't even know why you asked me here. MARY Because I thought we were friends. GAIL Well, if we're such good friends why don't we stay in touch? Why don't we see each other more often? Why don't I know more about your lives. LAURIE What you really want to know is why Stuart left me. So why don't you just ask, and leave the others out of it. GAIL Okay, why did Stuart leave you? LAURIE Well, if you must know. It's because I had a mastectomy and you're prince charming turned out to be a real frog. GAIL Very funny. Don't fuck with me. LAURIE What's the matter, Gail? Truth too much for you? GAIL (doesn't think it's true) I can't believe you guys would joke. You're serious. I ... You all knew this, and no one told me. MEGAN I just found out. Only Doc knew. GAIL (to LAURIE) But you weren't gonna' tell me, where you? LAURIE What for? GAIL This is exactly what I mean. We don't know each other anymore. We've grown apart. MARY I'm sorry you feel that way, Gail. I always thought there wasn't anything that the four musketeers couldn't work through. LAURIE Wait a minute what's to work through? I have the cancer not you. MARY I know that, I just meant ... LAURIE Meant what? You don't have this. I do. I'm the one that lost a breast. I'm the one that went through the radiation ... MEGAN Laurie, don't jump Mary's throat. Just calm down. LAURIE I am calm. I've been calm this whole time. I mean I came across the fucking ocean to celebrate Mary's wedding. That's what I want to do. I don't want to think about cancer, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. (crosses to GAIL) GAIL I don't feel sorry for you. I'm mad as hell that you wouldn't tell me. We told each other everything in college. LAURIE Like hell we did. GAIL Well we did until ... (SHE stops herself) LAURIE (Gets in GAIL's face) Until what? I stole your boyfriend, is that what you were going to say? GAIL I didn't say that. LAURIE Jesus Christ, you're afraid to confront me. You've always been afraid to confront me. We didn't tell each other anything after Stuart started seeing me, all we did was walk on eggshells around each other. Well, I have news for you, Gail, if you want to call Stu, you have my blessing. Marry the son-of-a-bitch if you want. Just don't call me when he dumps you in your hour of need, okay? (starts to exit) GAIL Laurie ... LAURIE Save it. (exits) MARY I knew this was a bad idea to have you both here. But, I said to myself, no, Mary, don't be silly, they're both your friends, they're both adults now ... GAIL Don't try and pin this on me. You knew and you didn't tell me. You could have told me. MEGAN And what was she supposed to say to you? Grow up, Gail, Laurie has breast cancer. GAIL Why is everything my fault? MARY Look, Laurie asked me not to say anything. I'm a doctor, I'm supposed to be trained to keep things confidential. GAIL So what do you want a fucking medal? MARY Don't you think I wanted to call someone and talk to them when she told me? I was frightened for her. But, I'm the doctor, I'm supposed to be rational, calm ... I'm the one that's supposed to tell my best friend that she should listen to the doctors and cut off a part of her body. MEGAN Mary, you did the right thing. MARY Did I? I'm a pediatrician, not a breast surgeon. All I know is what I read in my medical journals. MEGAN You have nothing to feel bad about, Mary. GAIL Well, is she okay or what? MEGAN Always the compassionate one. GAIL Fuck you. MEGAN Not if you were the last woman on earth. GAIL (to MEGAN) I'm sorry. Isn't this the same thing that Dannie died from? MEGAN It's not the same kind. GAIL Well, can Laurie die from this? MEGAN Bite your tongue. GAIL Well, can she? MARY It can metastasize somewhere else if they haven't caught it all, but she caught early, which is excellent. GAIL It can what a size? MEGAN It can grow somewhere else like on her lungs or chest wall if the radiation hasn't killed all the mutant cells. But, it looks pretty good for her. (SHE rises) Look, I'm gonna' go make sure she's okay. GAIL Meg, I'm really sorry about Dannie. I should have been there. MEGAN That would have been nice. GAIL I've been a real shit. MEGAN Hey, don't beat yourself up. This isn't anyone's fault. It just happens. GAIL After five years you'd think I'd stop being angry with Stuart. MEGAN Yeah, well, there's no accounting for taste. MARY Let me know if you need anything. MEGAN I will. (MEGAN exits. MARY turns to GAIL.) MARY You know, just because you've been a shit thus far in life, doesn't mean you always have to be one. GAIL Is that advice from my doctor? MARY No, that's advice from someone that doesn't want to see you go through life miserable. Just put this Stuart thing behind you, and move on. (Lights fade) ACT TWO Scene Four (A Hotel room, later Friday evening. MEGAN is cleaning her camera and LAURIE is writing in her journal.) MEGAN What do you write in that thing anyway? LAURIE Thoughts. Impressions of events. Nothing profound. MEGAN Are all English teachers frustrated writers? LAURIE I don't know about all. (There is a knock at the door. MEGAN opens it. GAIL is standing there.) GAIL May I come in? MEGAN (looks to LAURIE. LAURIE nods yes) Sure. GAIL Look, I know it's late, but ... (To MEGAN) Do you think I could have some time alone with Laurie? MEGAN (picks up her jacket and her camera case.) I'll just take a walk. Try not to break anything, okay? (SHE exits). GAIL Look, Laurie, I ah ... LAURIE If you're here to apologize because you think I'm about to die or something, you can leave. GAIL That's not why I'm here. May I? (SHE sits down) I came to find out why we never got past this? LAURIE Maybe it made things easier. I took Stuart, you felt hurt, and I felt guilty. GAIL So why didn't we fight about it then and get it out of our systems? LAURIE I never thought I was any good at fighting. Boy, was I wrong. GAIL And I was the Queen, except when it came to you. LAURIE I don't understand why you were so hurt. You kicked him out. GAIL And you thought I meant it? LAURIE The guy shows up on my doorstep for the umpteenth time and wants comfort. What was I supposed to do? GAIL Turn him away. LAURIE You think I didn't try. GAIL Well, he stayed with you. LAURIE Maybe because I didn't mess with his head all the time. GAIL And I did? LAURIE Are you for real? You yanked him around like he was a fucking yo-yo. GAIL And you kept him on a leash. LAURIE You don't know what you're talking about. GAIL Why didn't he ever talk to me then? Huh? LAURIE Maybe he didn't want to. GAIL You didn't let him, and you know it. LAURIE You're crazy, you know that. GAIL I'm crazy! He was the only guy I ever cared about. LAURIE What about Rick? GAIL You see how that turned out? LAURIE Maybe that should tell you something. GAIL What the hell is that supposed to mean? LAURIE That means that, that saying, if you love something set it free and it will come back to you. It doesn't apply when you keep kicking that something out. GAIL Are you saying I deserved it? LAURIE I'm saying that you got what was coming to you. Yeah. GAIL You bitch. LAURIE He loved you, stupid. You just fucked with his head once to often. I never meant for anything to happen between us. The way you've described it all these years - I was the great seducer. Well, I have news for you, Gail, people aren't seduced unless they want to be. GAIL So what are you trying to tell me? LAURIE That Stuart wouldn't have come back to you. GAIL You don't know that. LAURIE Yes, I do. He told me. That was the last time for him. If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else. GAIL That might have been easier to take. LAURIE I have news for you - I wish it was someone else. I wish that he had never come between us. I lost a great friend because of him. GAIL You mean that? LAURIE Yeah. Oh, I thought he was worth it then, but he's certainly not the man to have around in a crisis. GAIL He really left you because of that? LAURIE (Rises) I don't know. Maybe we had our problems before that. I mean who lives with someone that long and doesn't talk about marriage, or at least children. I was ready two years ago to start a family, but I guess Stuart wasn't. He was always so driven by his career. I suppose having to stop and deal with something in his personal life was too much for him to handle. GAIL Don't apologize for him. LAURIE (sits in the chair near the bed) I don't. I think what he did was wrong. I wish I had someone to stand by me no matter what. I went through radiation with women that had that kind of support from their husbands. A couple of times I went to this support group at the hospital, but all the women were in their 50's and 60's, a couple in their 40's. They all had husbands ... I just didn't feel like I could relate. All of them hated Stuart immediately when I told them. GAIL Can you blame them? I wouldn't touch him now with a ten-foot pole. Look, Laurie, I'd like to put this Stuart thing behind us if it's possible. LAURIE I'd like that too. GAIL (holds out her hand) Hi, I'm Gail Williams. LAURIE (shakes GAIL's hand) Laurie Kovak. GAIL Pleased to meet you. Would it be okay to hug you? LAURIE (stands up to hug GAIL) Just watch the fake boob, sometimes it jabs people. GAIL (hesitates) Really? LAURIE No, I'm just teasing you, goof-ball. GAIL (relieved) Oh. (They hug, LAURIE pulls away and sits down on the bed. GAIL sits next to her) LAURIE So, what now? GAIL Well, don't get upset, but, we were talking about your cancer when you left. LAURIE What else is new. Did you come up with any new solutions? GAIL We're your friends, Laurie, we're just concerned, and we're here for you. LAURIE I know. GAIL I would have never known if you didn't say something. Did you have reconstructive surgery? LAURIE They said that they could have done it right away. But, I didn't want implants, and I'm just not sure about the other methods. I never was in the hospital before this, so I wanted to see how I did and down the road maybe ... GAIL What does it look like? LAURIE Excuse me? GAIL Your scar. LAURIE You want to know what my scar looks like? GAIL I'm afraid. First Dannie and now you ... not that I think you're gonna' die or anything ... LAURIE You want to see what made Stuart run. Don't you? GAIL Yeah. LAURIE (Stands and moves away from her) Is it really that important to you? GAIL Hey, it's not like I'm Meg or anything. I just want to see. LAURIE Okay. (SHE loosens the belt on her robe) But, you better be sure. GAIL I'm sure. LAURIE (opens HER robe, so that GAIL can see. GAIL's mouth drops open, and LAURIE quickly closes her robe again.) Happy now? GAIL No I'm not happy, I'm sorry. LAURIE So am I. (A silence falls between them) It's getting late. Maybe we can catch up tomorrow. GAIL Okay. I guess you need your rest. LAURIE Sometimes I just feel exhausted. GAIL Okay. (GAIL takes LAURIE's hand) Sleep tight. (lights fade) ACT TWO Scene Five (The reception, Saturday, Mary's wedding day. LAURIE, dressed in her bridesmaid dress, is enters and sits on the bench. A JAZZ QUARTET IS HEARD PLAYING OFF STAGE. MEGAN brings PETER, dressed in a tuxedo, into the garden.) MEGAN Laurie, Peter needs a dance partner, and you know I don't dance. LAURIE You do so. MEGAN I told you, I don't dance since Dannie. PETER (PETER starts to leave) I told her this wasn't a good idea. MEGAN (grabs HIM by the hand) Yes it is. (SHE turns to LAURIE and whispers) One dance. How can it possibly hurt? LAURIE (whispers back) One dance and you'll get out of my hair. MEGAN I'll never bother you about this particular subject again. LAURIE Fine, but if I dance with Peter, you have to dance with me. MEGAN You're crazy. LAURIE That's the deal. MEGAN You drive a hard bargain. But, I'll dance with you. LAURIE (LAURIE squeezes MEGAN's hand, then stands and says to PETER) Well, Peter, looks like my dance card is free after all. (MEGAN exits) PETER (obviously hurt) Look, Laurie, obviously you don't like me for some reason. Let's just pretend we danced and I'll tell Meg you did, okay? (HE starts to exit.) LAURIE It's not that I don't like you, Peter. PETER Really? LAURIE We can dance. (PETER crosses back and offers LAURIE his hand. THEY begin to dance) What exactly did Meg tell you? PETER She tried to tell me that you were shy, and that secretly deep down you liked me. LAURIE She said that, huh? PETER Yeah, she can really shovel it. LAURIE She didn't say anything else? PETER No. (THEY dance in silence for some time, then Peter pulls her closer) Is this okay? (LAURIE nods) Listen about the other day. I wasn't trying to test you or anything. I was just playing. I do that a lot. I guess I just haven't learned when to stop. LAURIE I had a nice time. PETER Then why'd you turn me down. Tickets to Sunset Boulevard aren't easy to come by you know? LAURIE I'm sure they're not. PETER Jesus, Laurie, you have to know I'm crazy about you. When Mary told me you broke up with Stu, well, I just thought that maybe you and ... LAURIE (moves away from PETER) Peter, we hardly know each other. PETER I know all about you from Mary. Maybe if you give me a chance, you might find out I'm an okay guy. LAURIE You don't know anything about me, Peter. You might not like me once you get to know me. PETER I doubt that. LAURIE What if you found out that I wasn't what I appeared to be? PETER Megan told me that you were a woman of many surprises. LAURIE But did she say they were all pleasant? PETER She said, that no matter what they were, you were worth it. LAURIE She said that? PETER And I would have to agree. (HE extends his hand, after a moment SHE takes it. THEY dance in silence for a moment) LAURIE So did Meg say anything else?. PETER Only that if I hurt you she'd hunt me down like the low down, dirty, dog that I was. LAURIE In that case, I'd better leave while your reputation is intact. (SHE begins to exit.) PETER Why don't you just tell me your deep, dark secret. LAURIE (SHE turns to look at HIM) Who said I have a deep dark secret? PETER Well, you think that something is going to frighten me off. Why don't you tell me what it is? Do you remember when Mary brought you up to the lake house? Not the first time, but your junior year? LAURIE And you and I got stranded in the old pick-up truck going to town for supplies. PETER Do you remember what you said to me? LAURIE No. PETER (clutches his heart) I'm crushed. LAURIE (Crosses back to HIM). What did I say? PETER You looked at me with those incredible eyes, and you said, "Pete, the girl that marries you is going to be one of the luckiest girls on earth." LAURIE I remember now. PETER I know that you think something terrible is going to frighten me off. So why not find out if you're right. LAURIE (moves away from him) I don't think this is a good idea. PETER I do. I'll even help. Let's see ... you're an axe murderer? LAURIE No. PETER A drug dealer? LAURIE No. Don't do this. PETER I know, you're actually glad that bell-bottoms are back. LAURIE (Turns and blurts out). I had breast cancer, and I'm one boob short of a set. (PETER doesn't know what to say, he is clearly stunned.) Not so glib now, are you? PETER I ... I ... LAURIE Oh, just go ahead, get out of here. PETER What? LAURIE You know you want to go. (PETER shakes his head to say no.) I don't want your pity. PETER Look, I ... uh ... LAURIE What? Don't know what to say? Just leave me alone! PETER That's what you want, isn't it? LAURIE No, it's just inevitable. PETER Why? LAURIE Do you want me to spell it out for you? PETER Uh-huh. LAURIE (starts to leave) I don't have time for this. PETER You took me by surprise. I thought you were going to tell me that you were hung up about our ages. I was already to tell you I didn't care about that. LAURIE But you can't say that about this, can you? PETER I can't believe that you think I'm that shallow? LAURIE No, I think you're only human. PETER I don't understand you, Laurie. You had a disease that required a drastic treatment, but you chose the best treatment and you appear to be doing very well. Are you going to go through life afraid of men now? LAURIE Look, Peter, you don't have to prove anything to me. You're the one that forced the issue. PETER What issue? LAURIE I can't do this, Peter. (SHE tries to exit, but HE blocks her) PETER Who you gonna' do it with? LAURIE What? PETER Is it going to be easier to tell a total stranger? LAURIE Maybe. I don't know. PETER I love you. I don't care if you have one breast or two or none at all. I'm not in love with your breasts! And, I'm sorry if I didn't know what to say right away ... LAURIE You can't honestly tell me that you want damaged goods. PETER I didn't realize I was purchasing anything. LAURIE You know what I mean. PETER Yeah, you think I'm going to take one look at you naked and run for the hills. So, you'd like to avoid that scene and make me run ahead of time. Well, surprise! I'm not a runner. LAURIE You say that now. PETER Jesus Christ, Laurie, I changed my plans just to have some extra time here in hopes that you would spend it with me. You and Megan are the only two women that I don't feel like a total tongue-tied idiot around ... LAURIE Maybe there's time for you to pick up Megan. PETER I'm gonna' pretend that you didn't make such an asinine suggestion. Now, sit down and listen to me. (HE motions for her to sit down, and sits beside her) I have always been attracted to you, not just because I find you attractive, but also because I have always been comfortable around you, you make me laugh, you make think about life. I know what you had done must have been terrible for you and your self-image, but why would I think any less of you for wanting to live?. (LAURIE is speechless) If I was speechless or shocked, it's because you said the "C" word. And, maybe because I thought this was something that older women got ... LAURIE You don't hear about younger women, because they usually don't find it in time. PETER But you did, right? LAURIE I'm not planning on dying, if that's what you're asking. PETER I don't think anyone really does. But you are all right, aren't you? LAURIE What if I'm not? PETER (HE moves his chair closer, and takes her hand.) Laurie, I want you to be able to talk to me. I want to be your friend ... LAURIE (moves away from him) Now, you just want to be my friend ... PETER No. When you're ready ... I'd like to be more than that. LAURIE What if I'm never ready? PETER I'll take that chance. LAURIE Why? PETER Because, I think you are my other half ... LAURIE That's Megan's story not mine. (She sits on the bench) PETER You're not very romantic for an English teacher. LAURIE You don't know what you're talking about. PETER (Moves toward her) I'm talking about amore, affairs of the heart, love ... I'm crazy about you, Laurie. May I kiss you? (Sits on the bench beside her) LAURIE Well, now I know that you're crazy. PETER You really know how to pour on the charm. LAURIE I want to believe you, Peter ... PETER Then do. LAURIE Stuart thought he loved me too, until ... PETER Any man that would walk away from you is a total idiot in my book, and I don't want to hear his name used again in a comparative sentence with mine. Understand? LAURIE I don't know about this. PETER I can move as fast, or as slow as you want, Laurie. You just tell me what you need. LAURIE You can start by pinching me, because this is getting to be a little too much for me to believe. PETER I'll go you one better than that. (HE kisses her, lightly on the lips.) Is that real enough for you? LAURIE That's pretty real. PETER So, about those tickets for Sunset Boulevard ... LAURIE I guess it couldn't hurt to go. Okay, you've got a date. PETER Good. Let's dance some more. LAURIE (SHE takes HIS hand) I'd like that. PETER (pulls her close, and THEY begin to dance) See, I'm not that bad once you get to know me. LAURIE I'm counting on it. (lights fade)