The Mind of a Rapist
by Susan Monahan
Copyright 2000 by Bobby Moreno

You think you know me, huh?  You think you know me.  You think I'm the scary
guy in the dark alleyway.  Your creepy uncle.  The one with the screwed-up
home, the messed up life, who just never seemed right in the head.  But
that's not me... I'm all around you.  I'm the kid who sits next to you in
Biology.  I'm the young man who gives you a friendly hello on the street. 
I'm all around you.  I drink from the same water fountains, go to the same
bathrooms, I walk the same streets as you, and your mothers, and your
sisters, and your daughters.  And you can't tell me from any other person,
unless you look in here, but you can't.  So you don't notice me until it's
too late for you, and you, and you, and me. 

It's not that I can't get a girl, cuz let me tell you, back in high school I
was a ladies magnet.  I use to pick up phone numbers like a phone book. But
it's not about getting women, any man can do that, it's about controlling a
woman, that takes a special kind of man, because I have power, I have
power.  Have you ever broken a girl down, completely destroyed her, and then
just held her in your arms.  I have, and that's power.  That is power. 
The funny thing is that I love women, I absolutely adore women.  I wouldn't
even say love, I know how to enjoy a women.  Completely.  Utterly.  Inside
and out.  Some men know wine, or cars, I know women.  I know how to take a
woman, and suck every last bit of energy, of passion, of everything out of
her, and into me, and that's enjoying a woman.  That is enjoying a woman. 

I have my good days, and I have my bad days.  That's how the saying goes
right.  I have my good days and I have my bad days, but no, no, no.  I have
my bad days, and I have my worse days.  My bad days, I just think about it. 
My bad days I just think about it.  I think about grabbing every pretty
young thing that walks by, and every old saggy lady, and just about every
female that walks my way.  My worse days, I have to do it.  It's not a
thought it's a consumption.  This anger, this rage, it's not something I
feel, it's something I am.  Have you ever raped a girl, taken a young,
beautiful, pure girl and raped her?  Because that's anger.  That is anger. 
And not being able to control that, any of it, the need for power, the lust,
the anger not being able to control it.  That is the patheticness, the
helplessness that goes on in here every single day, every single minute,
every single second. 

Look at me.  No, no, not like that.  I just poured my soul out to you.  I
want you to look at me.  Do I look like a rapist to you.  No wait.  Do I
look like a rapist to you?  You think you know me.  You think you know me. 
For them.  For me.  For you.  It's too late.