PARTY ON AVENUE "B" INT. VINNIE'S APARTMENT NIGHT Friday evening around eight o'clock. Vinnie's one room apartment is located on Ave B "lower East Side" of Manhattan. It is summer and very hot.. Vinnie is passed out on his couch. The sound of the city is heard coming through Vinnie's window. A car's horn, and a man cursing at another driver to move is heard. The opposite side of the apartment a dogs barking is heard coming through the wall of the next apartment. Vinnie is awakened by the dog, but does not want to get up. His movements are very slow as he tries to sit up, he nods out twice on the way up. He is tired and annoyed. Vinnie grabs a half smoked cigarette from out of the ashtray and lights up.. VINNIE God DAMN dog, shut UP! Vinnie has been on a steady high of cocaine, crack, and alcohol for the past thirty hours. He feels sick Vinnie gets to his feet and walks to the bathroom very slowly, holding his forehead in his hand. Once inside the bathroom the sound of him pissing in the toilet and the toilet flushing is heard. He walks out pulling up his fly. He walks past the mirror and looks at himself for a moment. Oh man, you suck! He walks to his table, sits down and puts his head down. There is a bottle of Gin on the table along with a mirror with powder on it and a bucket of fast-food chicken. He puts his nose in the powder and starts snorting it.. He lifts his head and starts to open his eyes a little. He looks at the wall where the dog is still barking. I'm going to kill you one of these days, dog. Vinnie puts his nose back in the powder and snorts again.. He reaches for the bottle and takes a big swallow. Ahh, yea , damn. He puts his finger in the powder and rubs it on his gums. Staring off into space for a moment, he is starting to feel better.. He picks up a harmonica off the table and starts to play for a moment then looks at the wall again. Hey Charlie, shut that dog up man. Vinnie takes another snort of powder, then another shot of gin, looks at the wall and smiles. VINNIE (cont) OK Man, this is your last warning. Don't ever let it be said that "Vinnie the Kid" don't give out last warnings. Vinnie takes another slug from the bottle. There is a knock at the door. (singing) I hear you knocking, but you can't come in. YO, who the hell is it? Girls voice from the other side of the door. LOUISE Hey Vinnie it's me, Louise and Paula, put some pants on and open the door Vinnie gets up and walks to the door.. VINNIE Louise the Squeeze, and Paula. Yea! Let's party and get naked. Vinnie starts unlocking the three locks on the door, and drops his pants down around his ankles. He opens the door quickly and jumps at the girls, laughing. Yo baby what's happening. Vinnie opens the door fast and jumps at the girls laughing. LOUISE Cut the crap Vinnie and let us in man, it smells like something died out in that Hallway, OHHWEE.. VINNIE Don't I get a kiss first? Louise gives Vinnie a kiss on the cheek and walks by him. Paula enters and gives Vinnie a little kiss on the cheek. PAULA Hi Vinnie. How's life been treating you sweety? VINNIE Great. Let's get naked and party. Vinnie Turns to see Winston enter. VINNIE (cont) Who the hell are you? LOUISE He's OK Vinnie, He's with us. VINNIE (laughing) Oh. I thought this was the smell in the hall WINSTON (Extending his hand to shake) Hello Vinnie, Nice to make your acquaintance, I'm Winston VINNIE Winston. That's not a name that's a cigarette, or are you some kind of a butler? WINSTON No Vinnie, I'm not a Butler. VINNIE You sure about that? Hey, I'm just kidding, come on in. Vinnie walks toward Louise and gives her a kiss on the back of the neck. Hey, you sure smell good tonight Baby! Is that the Toilet Bowl Water stuff you bought at Woolworths last week? LOUISE Screw you Vinnie! This happens to be some very expensive stuff, and it's not "Toilet bowl water" it's Eu de Toilet~. Winston bought it for Paula on Park Ave. Paula let me try some on. PAULA Yea Vinnie, maybe if you got a job you could buy something someday. VINNIE Bullshit! I'm at my job right now. And I know you didn't come up here to talk about no toilet bowl water. PAULA Winston wants to see a good Blues Show, so we're gonna take him up to Tramps. WINSTON Yes Vinnie, I want to get down tonight with some "Funky Blues", and I hear you are the man to talk to about buying a little Coke. VINNIE Yea Man. I'm the man you want to talk to if you want to get down. (beat) Hey Winston, say "Get down with Funky Blues" again. WINSTON (startled) Get down with Funky Blues. VINNIE (laughing) God-damn! You sure you ain't no Butler, man? WINSTON I'm sure Vinnie. Now how good is this Coke you have? Let's do some business. VINNIE Yea, OK man. It's the best shit on Ave. B. I'll tell you that. How much you looking for? WINSTON I'll tell you that after I try some. VINNIE Yea well, you better show me some cash first cause I ain't going for that you get high then leave scam bullshit. LOUISE You know Vinnie your such a bastard. You think we would bring someone like that, up here? VINNIE No you wouldn't, I'm sorry but I still say my man here is a Butler. PAULA He's no Butler. This is Tommy's boss and his father owns the company. WINSTON Yea, my father owns the factory. which makes me the boss. Winston pulls a wad of bills out of his pocket and a golf tee is in his hand also. the golf tee he drops on the table WINSTON (cont) How's this Vinnie? Does this look like enough? VINNIE (not impressed) Yea, Well, I guess butlers are aloud to have money too. Vinnie gets up and crosses to a drawer and pulls out a packet of Coke and returns to the table sitting down. So, Winston my man, You like the blues? WINSTON Why Yes Vinnie I do. VINNIE Here you go Winston. Here's an Eighth. Try some, if you like it I'll let you have it for two hundred bucks, otherwise it's a hundred a gram. Winston takes the coke dips his pinky in and rubs it on his gums. Vinnie sets down a mirror and takes back the bag and puts some on the mirror, puts some up his nose and turns his attention away from Winston. So you girls got yourselves a real high-rolling butler tonight. (beat) Hey Paula, where's my man Tommy? Haven't seen him around anymore. PAULA I don't know Vinnie, I haven't seen him in a week. (beat) I had to get away for awhile. VINNIE Shit, your kidding. What happened? PAULA Nothing, it's just getting so boring with him lately, He doesn't even want to get high anymore. All he does is work and complain about the bills, it's like getting real weird. I think he is starting to have visions of a home with a little picket fence and me being the perfect little housewife. (laughing) Imagin that shit, he thinks he's going to be like Cary Grant in one of them old movies or something. VINNIE Wow, that is funny. Paula takes the straw from Winston and does a line of coke herself. PAULA Oh Yea Vinnie, if he doesn't get overtime he gets totally bummed out. It's like some kind of obsession with him. I'm telling you, he's totally out of his mind about it. Remember when he used to call himself Mr. After Hours? Well now he's Mr. Over Time. That's how me and Winston met. I got tired of hanging around the job all night waiting for him to get off. Once I found out that Winston partied we started to hang-out. VINNIE Holy shit! I don't believe you Paula. So now your screwing around with your Ol'man's boss. What a Bitch! Paula snorts another line of cocaine. PAULA You don't know nothing Vinnie, when was the last time you saw him. VINNIE About a year ago. PAULA Well, alot can change in a year, man. VINNIE Well I'll have to talk to him, and see what's going on. PAULA Well just don't tell him I came by with Winston. He don't know nothing about this, he thinks I went to my Mom's house for the week. Vinnie looks down at the table and is still for a moment. The bottle of gin catches his eye and he pours and drinks. Looks over at Winston VINNIE So Winston, what do you think? WINSTON Hey I don't know. Tommy's working a lot. Me and Paula have been out having a good time and Louise has been partying with us for a few days now. VINNIE (breaking in) No, not about that! About the coke. Tommy can take care of himself. WINSTON Oh. Yea I'll take the eighth. Here, here's two hundred. Winston takes the money out of the roll and puts the rest in his pocket, takes the coke, sniffs some and he begins to put it away. Vinnie has put the money in his pocket and is playing with the golf tee in his hand. PAULA Aren't you gonna put some of that out before we go? Winston hands the bag to Paula and puts his hand on her shoulder. Paula starts putting it out. Vinnie has looked from Paula to Winston. VINNIE So Winston, does Tommy get a raise since you're out partying with his ol'lady? Winston pulls his hand away and looks at Vinnie. WINSTON What are you his lawer or something. VINNIE Yea, I'm Vinnie Kunstler. WINSTON Well how about if I just give him his last paycheck and send him over to you and you give him a raise. VINNIE Hey, what's your problem. Tommy's a good guy.(beat) You're just a wimp with money. Let me tell you something, without your daddy paying your way you couldn't survive in the real world. No ones ever given me nothing, and I'm partying every day. I been on my own my whole life, I am a survivor. Who do you think you're talking to, who the hell are you.(beat) I mean Who the hell do you think you are.(beat) WINSTON I'm the guy that signs your friends paychecks. I'm the guy that's paying you cash for this coke. I'm the guy that pays taxes so you can get that welfare check of yours. I'm the guy that can get anything I want and anything you can even think of. You know Vinnie I have to admire you because you'll never have the things I have and I'll never have as little as you.(beat) Tell me something Vinnie is this table an antique, or did you get WINSTON (cont) it in the garbage.(beat) (stands up looking around)You know what, I think all your stuff is garbage from the real world.(beat) Give me That. Winston grabs the golf tee out of Vinnies hand. Vinnie pours a shot of gin and does a slow burn as he drinks. You know what this is? Of course you don't know what this is. It's a golf tee. It's what you put the ball on when you play golf. I play three days a week at the country club. Have you ever been to a country club Vinnie, Have you ever played golf. I mean, what do you do with all your spare time? You know what I like do? I take girls like these, get em high, then go play a little golf. You know what the greatest part of it is Vinnie? Winston mimes a golf swing and holds his follow through as if looking at a great shot and says It's when I slice one off into the woods, and then me and my lady friends go off into the trees looking for my Balls. VINNIE Hey! You know what Winston, you ain't got no Balls, and I ain't taking no shit from no god damn Butler! Vinnie jumps up and grabs Winston in a head lock and drags him to the door. He let's go of him, opens the door and grabs him again and drags him out into the hall (off stage). The sound of Vinnie throwing Winston down the stairs is heard. Vinnie reappears and Winston is heard saying.. WINSTON You son of a bitch! I'll sue you. VINNIE (out the door) Oh Yea. For what, all my expensive antiques. I'll kick your ass. Winston! Vinnie closes the door and walks back to the table with the girls. He is proud of what just transpired. Who the fuck names their kid Winston. Winston's a damn cigarette, Oh Winston, go get me a pack of Winstons, shit. PAULA You know Vinnie that wasn't very nice. He's got money. VINNIE Yea, well what's that mean to me. PAULA You're a real jerk sometimes Vinnie. Louise I'll be down stairs. I know how to calm Winston down, just don't be too long. Paula takes the bag of coke, puts some on the mirror and lets herself out of the apartment. VINNIE I just loved throwing that Yuppie prick down the stairs. It reminds me of the time your Mom caught us screwing around in the hallway and hit me over the head with her bag, and it knocked me right down the stairs. Vinnie and Louise both start laughing at the memory. Yea, those were some good days weren't they. LOUISE Yea they were. Louise reaches for a cigarette puts it in her mouth, and picks up the lighter on the table. VINNIE Hey wait a minute. Don't light that yet. Look what I just found the other day. Vinnie gets up and goes to the drawer and pulls out a Zippo lighter. Walks back to Louise. Look it's the one that says Louise loves Vinnie. Remember the day you bought it for me? He lights the lighter and holds it out for Louise to light her cigarette. She puffs while they look into each others eyes, there is a moment of passion. Vinnie closes the zippo and the moment is broken. LOUISE Yea, well that was a long time ago. VINNIE Hey Louise, why don't you spend the night. We can party all night. It will be just like old times. LOUISE No Vinnie, those days are long gone. I need change. VINNIE (laughing) Change? Here I got some change. (reaches toward his pocket) LOUISE See that's what I mean. You're never going to change. Everything has always been one big joke with you! You never take anything serious. You never took us serious. VINNIE Sure I did. Didn't I always share my drugs with you? LOUISE That's what I mean. I need more than that, I mean we had our good times, but I need a real life. Time's moving on and I need to move with it. Things are different. It's not the same out there anymore. The whole neighborhood has changed. VINNIE It's still Avenue B. LOUISE Yea but the people are different. I walk down the street and I hardly recognize anyone anymore. VINNIE Come on, what are you talking about. LOUISE I mean it Vinnie! I walk down the street and I see ghosts in the spots we used to hang out in. Them people are all gone except for a few of us, and I'm not gonna be the last of the last and be stuck here forever. VINNIE Stuck here forever? Where else is there? LOUISE I don't know, but as soon as I can get enough money together I'd like to find out. VINNIE All right, so tell me what you're thinking. LOUISE All right, I think I'd like to go to Hollywood. How's that sound? VINNIE Hollywood! What the hell are you gonna do in Hollywood? LOUISE What the hell am I doing on Avenue B? What difference does it make. At least I'll see something different.(beat) Like palm trees! I always wanted to see some palm trees. VINNIE Shit. Stay here tonight and party with me and I'll show you a palm tree. LOUISE Screw you Vinnie. Look I got to go, but I might be back later when the bars close. I might need to cop. You gonna be awake? VINNIE Baby for you I'll do anything. LOUISE Yea, like last week when I had to bang on your door for an hour just to wake you up. I'll tell you what I'm gonna set your clock radio for later on. That way I know you'll be up. She gets up and sets the clock-radio. Then she walks to the door. LOUISE See you later Vinnie. I gotta go, I just hope Paula and Winston are still out there. VINNIE (locks the door) Damn bitch, just get what you want and leave. Well who needs you. I don't need no one. Shit. He walks back to the table sits down and starts to get high all over again. He stares at the wall where the dog is barking. VINNIE (cont) The last of the last, Palm trees, ghosts, change. What the fuck is she talking about? Hey dog, what do you think she's talking about. Why do people always think they have to change. Man there's no Nirvana out there. Just a bunch of bullshit. It's just a big fucking game. Right dog? (beat) I mean you ain't gonna stop barking just because it's bothering the shit out of me. No, your gonna just keep on doing what dogs do. That's it, right. (getting pissed) Damn Dog. Them days are over bullshit. They haven't even started yet. (Vinnie takes a large drink) God damn dog shut the fuck up! You're given me a damn headache, damn. Shut up man! That's it, Charlie you mother fucker. Vinnie walks to the wall and starts yelling. Hey Charlie! Shut that fuckin dog up man!! He starts pounding the wall I know your home! I know you can fuckin hear me, Shut that dog up Mother Fucker! I got something here I know you'll hear. Vinnie walks to his apartment door where there is a bat leaning against the wall. He picks the bat up and walks back to the wall and starts hitting the wall with the bat. He is in an uncontrollable rage VINNIE Hey Charlie! Tell me what the fuck this sounds like. Charlie! I'm gonna kill you and that fuckin dog. Charlie! They're gonna find you and that dog in a pool of blood together. Hey, I know, watch this Charlie! Vinnie walks to the kitchen table, takes a shot of gin, picks up a magic marker and starts to write on the bat. Hey Charlie, you see this? I wrote your fuckin name on my bat! It says Charlie is one dead piece of shit! How's that sound. He walks back to the wall and starts hitting it again. You fuckin hear this Charlie!? I'll come right through this fuckin wall if you don't shut the fuckin dog up! You hear me Charlie!? The dog's barking stops, there is a whimper and then silence. Vinnie hits the wall two more times then stops, he puts his ear to the wall. A smile comes over his face. He is feeling like one bad ass dude. Vinnie walks to his mirror puts the bat down and starts to comb his hair. Staring at himself. VINNIE (cont) Who the fuck are you looking at, I'll kick your ass. Vinnie reaches down, picks up the bat and starts doing Samurai moves with the bat. Puts the bat down, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a harmonica. He starts to sing to himself in the mirror. (singing) I wake up in the morning Lying in the gutter I ain't got no morales I'd even rape your Mother Vinnie plays a few notes on the harmonica. (singing) In my back pocket I carry a blade So at night you betta pull down your window shade (harmonica) Because I'll break down the door Crawl on the floor and then little baby you'll be crying for more Vinnie finishes the song with a flair. He is imagining himself onstage at Madison Square Garden. Yea, Thank you. I'd like to thank all my fans, Thank you. Vinnie reaches for a glass of gin and takes a big swallow. He turns back to the mirror. So yea Arsenio I'm on top now. He continues to stare into the mirror, fantasizing he is being interviewed on the Arsenio Hall show. What's that Arsenio, how did I learn to play the Blue's so well? Well I'll tell you. I think it has to do with back when I was a kid. I remember that day, it was a very hot July morning. July 7th to be exact! I was ten years old, my brother Jeff was twelve.. We both decided to hop a subway to Coney Island and go swimming. Well Jeff couldn't swim if his life depended on it, which it did. You know to this day I still can't figure out what possessed that kid to go out so deep. Anyway we couldn't have been in the water for more than five minutes when I looked up and there he was way out screaming for help. So I swam out to him, and I mean he was scared, I never seen anybody so completely out of their mind with panic, his face was white as rice. Whenever I tried to grab him he just pushed me under trying to stay up, I mean every time I would come up for air BOOM he pushes me back down again. This went on for (beat) God it seemed like forever. Every time I'd get my head up above the water I'd look around hoping to see someone coming out to help us. But no, No one gave a shit enough to look over where we were to see these two kids drowning like rats. I remember there came a point when I knew that if I left him I'd have enough energy to make it to shore. But, if I stayed another minute there was a VINNIE (cont) good chance I would die. I mean my whole life flashed in front of me. Did you ever have that happen to you? It's scary, But the thing that scared me the most was the having to tell my mother that Jeff was dead. That would have killed her and I knew it. So I said to myself either we were both going to make it, or we were both going down together. (beat) Suddenly I got a burst of energy. I grabbed his legs and stuck my toes in the mud. I actually started walking on the bottom while holding him up. I mean with all that weight he was putting on me it was the only thing to do. Every now and then I'd come up and get a blast of air then WHAM he'd grab me and back down I'd go again. his went on forever (beat) Finally I got him to where he could stand on his own with his mouth above the water. I let him go and we both dragged our ourselves in I mean it was like one of those old Gilligan Island movies, when the guy collapses on the shore line. My whole body was in shock, but I knew we'd made it and that's all that mattered. (beat) Well anyway here''s the kicker. The next day my mother was taking my brother to the doctors. Because of all the seawater he swallowed the kid was up all night vomiting. So anyway while they were crossing Avenue B, which is where I still live today, some drunken bastard ran them both over and killed them. Ain't that some shit, after all that they still left me, they still left me. So ever since then I've been playing the Blues. Vinnie now becomes very angry and picks up a bat that is leaning against the wall. He holds up the bat up to his reflection as if he wants to take a swing at it. Hey you know what Arsenio, I don't take no shit from anyone. Who the fuck are you to ask me so many questions? You know what, give me your fucking money or I'll split your fuckin Muk head. Give me your money! Give me your fuckin money! Give me the money! Shit! Vinnie throws the bat down and walks over to the window and stares at the street below sees his friend Tommy and yells down to him. Yo Tommy! What's up bro. Come on up man. (beat) Yea man I was just thinking about you He walks over to the drawer, opens it, reaches in and pulls out a pipe. He sets the pipe on the table and reaches back in the drawer and pulls out a bag of crack. He bends down and inserts the crack in his sock. He turns to the kitchen table and picks up the pipe and stares at it eyes wide in anticipation. A thin smile spreads his mouth. There is a knock at the door. Who is it? TOMMY Yo bro! It's me. Open the door man, it stinks out here. Vinnie walks over to the door and unlocks three latches and opens the door. VINNIE Yo Tommy, What's happening man? Come on in Bro. The two of them shake hands and slap five. Tommy walks past Vinnie and turns. TOMMY Hey Vinnie, I want you to meet a good friend of mine. This is Emilleo. Emilleo Eltutay. Vinnie shakes Emilleo's hand. VINNIE You mean as in Eltutay La Fruitay? (he laughs) Hey man, I'm just kidding ya. How you doing Emilleo? Nice to meet you. Come on in and sit down. EMMILEO (Cuban Accent) Hello. It is very nice to meet you. Tommy tells me about you. He say you are his good friend. VINNIE Yea, well me and Tommy go back a long ways. Come on in guys and sit down. Make yourselves comfortable. (beat) I got some gin. You guys want some gin? The three of them sit down around the small kitchen table. Vinnie pulls up a box to sit on, The others sit on chairs. EMMILEO Si. Yes. That sounds very good. I like to have some gin. VINNIE Yea. Okay. Here you go Pop. All I got is paper cups.. I hope you don't mind. EMMILEO Is fine. Everybody has gin poured in a cup for them by Vinnie and begins sipping VINNIE So what were you guys doin down at the bar? What's going on down there? TOMMY Nothing much Vinnie. It's the same old bullshit. A bunch of loser pigs getting drunk, talking a lot of shit. My man Emilleo her needs some cheering up so I thought to myself, let me take him down Avenue B and see what happens. VINNIE Yea man, I'm glad I saw you. I was getting ready to start partying myself. What's this I hear you don't get high anymore? Is that true Tommy? TOMMY Yea man, I stopped getting high. Just a little drinking every now and then, but don't worry Vinnie I still hang out. VINNIE Well I'm glad to hear you still hangout, but too bad you don't get high because I got some good shit. Here check this out. (he pulls the bag out and hands it to Tommy) TOMMY (laughing) You never change man. VINNIE I keep hearing that word, change! Hey I'm Vinnie the Kid. The only changing I'm gonna do is when I change my drawers. How about you Emilleo, this shit here will definitely put a smile on your face. EMMILEO Is that crack Vinnie? I do not think I like to smoke crack. VINNIE Yea man. You know, the crack whack. EMMILEO I do not know. I never smoke crack before. I hear it is bad shit. VINNIE Aw man, what the fuck do you know? How old are you? Emilleo takes a big drink of gin. He eyes Vinnie with confidence. Tommy looks at both of them nervously. EMMILEO I am old enough to be your Father, Grandfather, and everything else VINNIE Shit man. The room is hot now. All three are nervous and sweating. They continue to sip gin and eye the crack. EMMILEO Vinnie, you have a bathroom? I have to take a piss. VINNIE Yea man. It's the only other room in the place. (he laughs) It's over there. EMMILEO Gracias. Emilleo guzzles the rest of his gin, rises and walks over to the bathroom. Vinnie lights up a cigarette and throws the pack to Tommy, who also lights up. VINNIE So Tommy my man How you been doing. It's been awhile. What you been up to? TOMMY Working hard man and staying out of trouble. VINNIE Yea, I hear you got a good job. TOMMY Well it's a steady pay check, but if I can get this promotion to floor manager that would be really be good. VINNIE Manager, Damn. That's like suit and tie work, how you gonna do that? TOMMY It's like the old saying goes, it's not what you know it's who you know. VINNIE What do you mean. TOMMY The guy I work for is a real cool guy. We get along real good. VINNIE Oh yea? TOMMY Yea, he even comes by the apartment sometimes to hang out man. You got to see this guy. He's loaded man, His father owns the factory. VINNIE Is that right. TOMMY Yea man, He keeps telling me as soon as there's an opening for a floor manager it's mine. VINNIE No shit. That's great man. TOMMY Yea, I think I'm finally getting my break. Things are starting to look up. So what about you man, how you been doing. VINNIE Shit, I'm doing great. I've got everything a poor boy needs right here inside this pipe Vinnie starts laughing and stares at the floor for a moment. Its all bullshit. Vinnie pours a drink for himself and Tommy. It's good seeing you man. Here's to the dog that bite you in the eye. They knock cups together and drink. TOMMY Same to you man, glad to see you bro. Vinnie refills the cups. Motioning toward the bathroom door. VINNIE So Tommy, who's this fuckin guy? I mean where the fuck is he coming from? TOMMY I work with him in the factory on Delancy Street. He just buried his wife last week, she died of a heart attack. He's really bummed out. His whole family is down in Cuba, they couldn't get out and he can't get in. Man this guy hates the communists. You gotta hear his shit. VINNIE (upbeat excited) Oh man really? His wife died. I'm gonna fuck with him man. TOMMY No man don't do that. He's a cool old guy. He's been staying at my place all week. He was married to his wife for 32 years. All he's doing is drinking since she died. VINNIE Yea, well lets get him fucked up tonight. TOMMY Just take it easy on him okay?. (beat) Vinnie just be cool. VINNIE Hey, What's taking him so long in there? He fall in or something. TOMMY I don't know, Maybe he's crying. He's been doing a lot of that this week. VINNIE Why that old wimp. Get him out here. I'll straighten him out They both turn. Emilleo opens the door and zips up his fly as he returns to the table. He sits down smiling. EMMILEO You have a nice place here Vinnie. It looks like the place I live in when I first come to America. VINNIE When was that Emilleo? I bet Lincoln was still fuckin President. Vinnie laughs and slaps the table. EMMILEO No. I come when Bay of Pigs happen. VINNIE I heard of that. You were into that huh. EMMILEO Si. I have to come here real quick. Castro, that son of a bitch, he want to cut off my balls and stuff them in my mouth. I like to go back and cut off his balls. VINNIE Aw man, that shit is old. From what I hear you guys fucked up. EMMILEO What the fuck you know! I could tell you things you never believe. VINNIE Shit. Vinnie sneers and pours himself more gin. He grabs the pipe and takes a hit. TOMMY Yo, Pop. You never told me you were in that Bay of Pigs shit EMMILEO I no talk about it too much. It is embarrassing the way we lose to that Castro Bastard. Vinnie takes another hit holds it and then lets it out VINNIE Man, I love this shit. (beat) Hey Emilleo, what you say we go out and get some leg after we're done here. I hear your old lady dropped dead on you man. That's too bad. (beat) Hey man, your single now, just think of all that young pussy running around out there. We could tell them we're all fuckin CIA terrorist going to overthrow Castro. That story ought to get us some Hustler type pussy. TOMMY Yo Vinnie, take it easy man. EMMILEO It's okay Tommy. Is okay. Vinnie I think I pass on that. I don't think is right yet. Emilleo drinks what is left in his glass, and looks from the bottle to Vinnie. Vinnie returns Emilleo's gaze and then refills the glass with much bravado. Emilleo is showing the effects of the alcohol. VINNIE Aw come on man. (beat) Tommy, What about that chick Maria? Maria is prime stuff. Shit, That tramp could pose for Hustler, and I'll bet we could get her to screw Emilleo here for a couple a pipe loads. EMMILEO (eyes wide, heating up) Hey, you no tell me what the fuck to do you young Puto. My wife, she is with me for 32 years. I love that woman like no one else ever. You think I want some young girl because how she looks. That no mean shit to me. VINNIE Yea, okay Pop. Take it easy. Take it easy. I just thought it'd be good for you to get your old lady off your mind. Emilleo rises to his feet. He sways, steadies himself and looks angrily down at Vinnie. EMMILEO Hey you punk. You no call my wife an old lady! She was the most beautiful girl in Cuba. VINNIE Hey, Yo! Fuckin take it easy Pop. I was just trying to lighten things up a little. You know. Hey come on Emilleo take a hit of this shit. EMMILEO No! That does not look good to me. VINNIE What the fuck you mean, don't look good! I only get the good stuff. (beat) Just take one hit to see. It ain't gonna hurt you. It will make you feel better man. (beat) Who knows, It might even make you feel like getting some pussy. Vinnie laughs and reloads the pipe. Emilleo sits back down looking at Vinnie. EMMILEO Hey! I don't want to take a hit and I don't want any women. VINNIE See Tommy. Just like I always say, when you stop laying pipe, you lose your balls. TOMMY Come on Vinnie, cool out. Let Emilleo just drink if he wants to. Leave him alone, He's a good friend of mine. VINNIE Shit, all I'm saying is he should try one hit. That's all. EMMILEO Tommy, you think if I take one hit it will not make me go bad? TOMMY I don't know Emilleo. I quit that stuff and I ain't saying nothing. EMMILEO Okay. Maybe I smoke once. I show you Vinnie I am afraid of nothing. I do so many things in my life, this is nothing. VINNIE All right Pop! (beat) Here take the pipe. Here's what you do. Don't start sucking until I tell you. Then suck real slow and hold it in as long as you can. Then let it out real slow. Vinnie is amused and delighted to get Emilleo high. Tommy looks worried. Emilleo takes the pipe from Vinnie and puts it in his mouth. Vinnie reaches across the table with a lit lighter and starts to heat up the bowl. Okay, start sucking. Emilleo starts drawing in the smoke. It is to see he has not done it before. He keeps sucking until Vinnie removes the flame. He holds his breath for a moment then exhales. EMMILEO This don't do shit. Give me more, I show you how to do it. Vinnie laughs at Emilleos response. He starts loading the pipe mounding it over the top. Emilleo looks on eagerly, confident. VINNIE (still laughing) All right Pop! (beat) We're gonna fill the pipe up this time. That first load was nothing. TOMMY Hey Emilleo, you don't have to do this. EMMILEO I don't feel nothing man. This stuff is bullshit. Give it to me Vinnie, I'll show you how a real man smoke. Vinnie hands him the pipe. There is so much crack in the pipe that Emilleo can't possibly hold it all. He continues to suck as smoke comes out his nose until Vinnie removes the flame. He holds his breath until he turns red, and his eyes bulge. He exhales. Vinnie and Tommy look on amazed.. Well? Now what happen. (beat) You young punks, you talk a lot of shit.. I have been to Havana, Sudan, Bombay, and Bangkok. I am in revolutions. I have seen babies born and butchered. I've been a sailor, solder, carpenter and I've dug ditches. I have had senoritas that would spit on your Hustler girls. I've been a rich man and I've been in jail. I've been tortured and I've made love to beautiful women. I've gone weeks without eating nothing but bugs, lizards and the bark from trees. I have slept in palaces and gutters. (beat) What do you know about anything you punks? You know shit. Emmileo is talking with passion. Not looking at anything, staring off into space. Vinnie continues smoking and smiling in response to Emilleo's story. I have lived life. Not like you in your bullshit world that your whole stinking generation lives in. (beat) Where were you when the communists invaded Hungary and the children were fighting the tanks with stones? (beat) Living inn your fantasy world, you want fantasy, I'll give you fantasy. When I dream at night I dream of war. (beat) I am coming up a hill when suddenly I am being shot at from that hill. So I jump in the mud and crawl up the hill until I see the enemy. Emilleo is talking continues talking with passion as Tommy and Vinnie look on in amazement. Vinnie bytes his lip trying not to laugh. EMMILEO (cont) I aim my gun and squeeze the trigger and shoot until they are not moving. Then I run up to finish the job. (beat) When I look down I realize that it is a man and his boy that I have just shot. (beat) The man is dead but his son is still alive and he is no more than 12 years old. I pick the boy up and carry him in my arms down the hill. I can take it no longer and I drop the boy and charge back up the hill. I am suddenly transformed into the boy and I see the enemy coming. I squeeze my trigger but only seeds come out the end. Yes, and all the bombs in the world turn into seeds and I see wheat and vegetables growing everywhere. There is a brief pause in the room. Emilleo is tired but alive. His eyes are very animated. Vinnie and Tommy are motionless. This is what I dream! You punks dream of shit. (beat) Sometimes I dream I am in a small room, just me and a fly. I kill the fly and realize I am now alone. (beat) I look in the mirror and see Van Gogh. Do you have any idea what it is to love someone so much that you would cut off your own ear for her to prove your love. You know nothing my friend. (beat) Do you know who was the greatest man that ever lived? VINNIE Who bro? EMMILEO Leonardo Da Vinci. He is a genius. He paints he invents he is philosopher. I am Leonardo Da Vinci in miniature! Emilleo has risen to his feet at the last exclamation. He looks and feels proud. He looks down at the other two with contempt. Suddenly he goes limp and falls back into the chair staring off into space. VINNIE Yo Tommy, is there a full moon out there or something? I mean where are all these weirdos coming from? TOMMY Hey your the one that wanted to get my man high. I mean just be cool and leave Emilleo alone. VINNIE No, I mean there's some weird vibes going around tonight. It's weird man. TOMMY Yea well, let's talk about something different. VINNIE (laughing) Like what, palm trees? TOMMY No man, How about this. I'm really psyched, check this out. Now this is between you and me man. If you see Paula you got to swear you won't say anything to her. This is a surprise. VINNIE Yea, yea I swear. Now what's the big surprise? TOMMY (laughing with excitement) God I can't believe it, I really did it. Check it out. I'm moving, I'm buying my own Condo out on Long Island. Copiague, you ever heard of it? Can you believe it man, I'm really gonna do it. (beat) God Vinnie I'm so psyched. I've been saving everything for the past year. Damn if I could get this promotion it's gonna be no problem, I'm in like Flint. One more paycheck man and I got the down payment. I can't believe I really did it, and Paula don't know nothing man. Is she gonna be surprised. What do you think Vinnie, this sweet or what. VINNIE (looking angry) Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Your leaving too. I mean your leaving my block too. Is that what you're telling me? TOMMY Yea man, isn't it great. VINNIE God damn it man. I can't believe this shit. What am I, the last of the last of Avenue B. Every bodies got to go somewhere. Always', always there's somebody leaving. Shit! I mean this whole day has been about every bodies got to make changes. Weird Tommy, right. TOMMY What do you mean. VINNIE I mean first Louise! She's got this thing for palm trees. Now you with this Copiague thing, shit with Paula. I don't believe it man. I mean TOMMY What shit with Paula? VINNIE You know man, how she needed some changes for a while. TOMMY How the fuck do you know about that? I didn't say anything about Paula going to her Moms house for awhile. VINNIE Staying at her Mom's house? You think you got a surprise for Paula. Well I gotta surprise for you. The Paula you can't wait to tell about your little Long Island condo was here earlier with some butler looking jerk named Winston. TOMMY What the hell are you talking about Paula with Winston! VINNIE Yea, they came by and picked up an eighth, said they were going to go to Tramps tonight. Vinnie is watching Tommys reaction and enjoying the response he is getting. You know I'm only telling you this cause your my bro man. I mean it just don't seem right that your talking about buying this place for Paula, and Winston was definitely talking that he was doing her. TOMMY I can't believe it man, Paula with Winston. VINNIE I swear on everything that's holy. TOMMY Paula with Winston. I can't believe this shit. Here I've been busting my ass for a year. One, whole year man! Working my ass off, saving every penny I could get my hands on. Doing everything for the bitch. Trying to get her off the block. (he blows up) And the bitch is hanging with my boss! (beat) VINNIE You know I didn't want to tell bro, but man you can't trust nobody. You want to know what I trust, I trust what's in this pipe, that's it man. Here. Vinnie extends the pipe to Tommy. Tommy looks from Vinnie to the pipe but makes no move to take the pipe. TOMMY I just can't believe it man. I even brought him home for dinner. The man ate in my home. Here I am thinking that he likes my work and he is screwing my woman, and what's worst is that my woman is screwing him. Shit. I'm gonna kill him! Damn, I can't believe this. Give me that pipe. Tommy grabs the pipe from Vinnie takes a hit holding in the smoke he looks over at Emilleo, and drops to the floor dead. VINNIE (Laughing) Yo Tommy! That must have been some hit bro. I know you got the big rush on that one. (beat) Yo bro, get up man. (beat) You all right? EMMILEO I do not think he is breathing. Vinnie is confused and sweating. His eyes are wide and wild. VINNIE No man. He's breathing. (beat) Look. EMMILEO No Vinnie, he is not breathing. Emilleo bends down and checks Tommy's pulse. EMMILEO There is no pulse. (beat) What have you done! he is not breathing! Vinnie jumps from his chair and kneels next to Tommy. VINNIE Yo Tommy! Get up bro! (beat) Do something Emilleo. Punch him in the chest or something. Emilleo starts jamming his fists in to Tommy's chest. Vinnie backs away in horror finally back to the wall watching as Emilleo puts his ear to Tommy's chest listens pounds on his chest listens... VINNIE (cont) No man, Come on man. I don't need this shit, fuckin Tommy get the fuck up man. Quit the bullshit. Yo fuck you Tommy! Get up! Emilleo rises from Tommy's body head hung, he looks up at Vinnie. he begins to sob. EMMILEO What have you done? Vinnie completely ignores Emilleos comment and dives at Tommys body. Grabbing his shirt and shaking him he slaps his face listens to his chest as he screams into the body. VINNIE Come on Tommy! No fuckin way man! I don't need this shit. TOMMY!!!! Wake the fuck up you scumbag piece of fuckin Ave B shit. (beat) Tommy! (beat) Yo Tommy! Come on, your the last fuck I know from when we was kids. Tommy! Vinnie begins to pace around the room. He encounters Emilleo and remembers he isn't alone. Holy Mary Mother of God. We got to get this out of here. We got to fuckin do something. EMMILEO Yes, We must call the police and get an ambulance. VINNIE What! (beat) Are you fuckin crazy you Cuban fuck. The police show up here and were both off to fuckin Rikers. EMMILEO What you mean both Vinnie. I no do anything, you punk! You have the drugs that kill Tommy, no me. VINNIE Are you that fuckin stupid you Castro fuckin reject? You were here you were responsible! That's the drug laws. Vinnie is excited by that last statement. He can see the beginnings of a plot to tag Emilleo with the death of his friend. VINNIE (cont) Yo, fuckin Emilleo. You better help me get rid of the body or I'll fuckin tell the cops some fuckin Bay of Pigs Cuban lunatic was over here trying to sell him some crack to fund the next Cuban revolution named Fuckin Emilleo Tuta de Fruta. You fuck better help me now. Emilleo begins to realize the situation he is now in. Tommy is dead. Vinnie has threatened that he could be responsible. He becomes agitated and looks around the room. His eyes fall on the knife Vinnie had used for the crack. Vinnie realizes the object that has gotten Emilleos attention is the knife. The two look at each other. The stakes have gone up for both. Yo Emilleo man. Don't fuckin wig out on me man. Just help me get the fuck rid of the body. We'll both be okay. EMMILEO No Vinnie. We no both be okay. You no care shit about you friend Tommy, (beat) You no care shit about Emilleo. You would tell on me to save your punk ass Vinnie. Emilleo picks up the knife and holds it in a non threatening way at his leg. He looks back to Vinnie. You think I am big joke you puto American. You are nothing to me you punk. You watch you friend die without caring. You make big joke of my dead wife. You think everybody else die but Vinnie Vinnie becomes animated at the last statement and again starts yelling at Emilleo. VINNIE Yea! Your right there! Fuckin everybody else does die but me you fuck. My MOM My BROTHER My DAD! Most of the people I grew up with on this fuckin block are dead. Now fuckin Tommy Man you tell me everybody don't fuckin die but me. (beat) Now what the fuck you gonna do with that knife you old fuck, you can't kill me. I'm fuckin invincible you fuck, how the fuck you think I am still alive when everybody else is dead. I'll see you dead you fuck. I'm gonna dance on your grave after they bury you in Potters Field if you don't help me get him out of here. Emilleo loses it completely now. The crack the death and the threat push him over the top. Mostly Spanish with English phrases of EMMILEO No Vinnie you can die too. You no watch me die you punk! Emilleo is Leonardo Da Vincie! Viva La Revolution! With the last exclamation Emilleo leaps at Vinnie and stabs him in the stomach. Vinnie screams and falls back on the couch. Emilleo steps back in horror dropping the knife He looks around dashes to the door mumbling and cursing as he fumbles to unlock the locks. He swings wide the door looks both ways down the corridor, then leaves slamming the door behind him. Stage light goes dim. The sound of the dog barking is heard coming from the wall. Vinnie is slumped over and is dying. He looks towards the wall. Dog's barking stops. (voice over start) CHARLIE (v.o.) Come here you stupid little bastard. How many times have I told you to stay off the subways! The sound of Vinnie being slapped is heard. VINNIE - as child (v.o.) (crying) I'm sorry Daddy. I swear on everything that's holy I won't do it again. CHARLIE (v.o.) I'll show you not to listen to me you little jerk. Sound of more slapping is heard. VINNIE'S MOTHER (v.o.) Charlie that's enough. He understands, leave him alone. CHARLIE (v.o.) Oh Yea! Well who's going to pay for the Doctor. I got no money, I'm going to kill this kid. VINNIE'S MOTHER (v.o.) Don't worry about the money I'll take care of it. Charlie you're drunk. Go back to the bar, go any place, just get out of the house now Charlie. CHARLIE (v.o.) I'll get out, but when I get back I'm going to kill this kid. Door slams. VINNIE'S MOTHER (v.o.) Don't worry Vinnie everything is going to be all right. I'm going to take Jeff to the Doctors. You stay here, I'll see you when I get back Honey. Door slams. Vinnie slumps his head for a moment, then lifts it again to look at the wall. VINNIE - (on stage) Don't leave, don't leave me Ma. The sounds of sirens and commotion is heard. Sound of door slamming and dog starts barking. VINNIE - as child (v.o.) Daddy what's the matter? CHARLIE (v.o.) (crying) I'm sorry, God I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I never saw them. Oh my God! VINNIE - as child (v.o.) What Daddy, what's going on. CHARLIE (v.o.) I killed them. I killed them. They walked right in front of my car. What am I going to do! VINNIE - as child (v.o.) Killed who Daddy. Who did you kill? CHARLIE (v.o.) Your Mother and brother. I didn't even see them. Oh God what am I going to do. A loud knock is heard. CHARLIE (v.o.) Don't open the door, it's the cops. I can't let them take me. God I don't know what to do. VINNIE - as child (v.o.) Daddy what are you going to do with that gun Daddy? Please put the gun down Daddy, please. CHARLIE (v.o.) Shut up dog. I can't even think, I just can't take it any more. A shot is heard, the barking stops. Vinnie on stage speaks. VINNIE - on stage Don't do it Dad. Don't do it. Don't leave me. Gun shot is heard. Sound of door being broken in and cops voices are heard. COP God he shot himself. Get the kid out of here. What a mess. (end of voice over) Vinnie crawls to the wall and reaches up. VINNIE I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Vinnie dies. The stage goes dark, then the lights go up. Time has passed, Louise and Paula are knocking at the door. They open the door slowly and walk in. LOUISE Vinnie, you in here? Don't be starting no shit. They both look and see the bodies. Paula walks to Tommy and looks down. Louise turns back to close the door and stares at Paula. PAULA Come on girl. (beat) Let's get what we can and get the hell out of here. Paula walks over to the drawer takes a bag out, grabs the rock off the table, the pipe and handles other things on the table. Louise walks over to the table and picks up Vinnie's Zippo. She holds it up to look and pauses. She then looks around at Vinnie's body. There is a moment of stillness in Louise. Come on. This is it, it's payday. This is your ticket to Hollywood and the palm trees you've always talked about. Help me, let's get what we can and get out. LOUISE Vinnie you sorry bastard, you didn't deserve this. Louise is still only an instant longer. She looks back down at the Zippo shrugs and drops it in her purse. Paula pulls out Tommy's wallet. Standing she smiles at Louise with the wallet up. Louise looks down at Vinnie then very quickly rolls him over and cringes as she gets his wallet out. Louise stands and looks at Paula. PAULA Louise, look at this. Paula has pulled from Tommy's wallet a wad of cash. PAULA Look at all this cash. Where did he get all this money from? Son of bitch was holding out on me. The clock radio comes on and startles the girls. They look toward the sound and bolt for the door as the end of a song plays RADIO Here's a bulletin from the real world folks.. An unidentified man set himself on fire this evening in front of Gracie Mansion by pouring gasoline all over himself just as the Mayor was leaving. The man was screaming that he was Leonardo Da Vinci. He was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital. (beat) Only in New York. It's a cold world out there. END Copyright 6/8/1994 John Campo 201 295-0267 867-270