REUNION WITH DEATH ___________________ A Mystery Play in Three Acts by William C. Seward and Barbara Stopp Vance Copyright þ 1993 1904 Magnolia Drive by Bill Seward Round Rock, TX 78664 (512)255-7564 Cast of Characters Class of '72: Valerie Taylor: Head cheerleader, Most Likely, Miss Union High School, the popular girl everyone loves to hate. Bitchy with a capital "B". Jeff Winslow: Class nerd. Now successful entrepreneur. Frank Snyder: Valerie's first husband. Betsy Carlisle: Cheerleader. Once Valerie's best friend. Randy James: Once leading quarterback, now in wheelchair. Amanda Fitzsimmons: Mystery author. Valedictorian '72. Janet Parker: Yearbook editor. Local news editor for the "Union Star." Vincent Gardner: Loan Shark. Sleazy mob type. Non - Graduates: Paul Taylor (PJ): Valerie's current husband. Dana Parsons: Valerie's younger sister. 'Buzz' Davis: Police detective for Union Police Department. Dropped out in '72. Mrs. Donaldson: Retiring English Teacher. Miss Parminter: Retired teacher. Friend to Mrs. Donaldson. Mr. Jacobs: Was '72 principal. Scene This is the twentieth reunion of Union High Class of 1972. Scene is a banquet at the High School auditorium. Action distributed between three areas; a central stage, the teacher's table @ stage right, and the punch table @ stage left. Audience attending are considered to be part of reunion. (Note that there is one exit door which leads to the hall where the offices, restrooms, and pay phone are. When a character EXITS, he uses this door. Notes to "move away" etc. merely mean to go to another part of the room. True exits and entrances through the door are critical to the mystery, especially if presented as an audience participation.) Time The year 1992. ACT I AT RISE: Lights down, action frozen. VOICEOVER BY AMANDA: Ah, the class reunion. What fun. Remember the tenth reunion? Remember how we all tried to convince each other how wonderful and successful we were? Each lady is dressed to kill. Figuratively speaking, of course! Fresh off a crash diet that began a month earlier. Every woman points out to her husband how old, or heavy, or grey the other women look, and "Aren't you glad I haven't aged that much?" Dangerous question, guys! And the men, too, compare rising hairlines and falling chests as they suck in their guts to stroll suavely to the refreshment table. Now comes the twentieth reunion. This one is more fun. By now, most of us have come to grips with ourselves, with who and what we are. We no longer have to compare cars, houses, and lifestyles. We can discuss our work, our families, and even our unfulfilled dreams. Ah, yes, the twentieth reunion, when bygones should be bygones. Of course, those reunions are nothing like my reunion. No, some things never change. Here is how it happened..... (Lights up.) JACOBS: (On stage with microphone. He is emcee. We are joining him, speech in progress.) And once again, greetings, all you Dragons of '72. I'm Farley Jacobs, your emcee for this evening. We have some special events planned later, so mingle, get reacquainted, and compare your children's pictures. Now all of us here are graduates or families of same. However, we especially want to recognize some of the cream of the crop. Stand up, xxxx and yyyy, we're especially glad you made it tonight! (Here, JACOBS introduces actual '72 graduates who may be in audience.) Our very special guests tonight are our English teacher, Mrs. Donaldson, and Miss Parminter, who taught many of you typing. (Indicates teacher table.) Mrs. Donaldson is retiring tonight after 40 years of teaching. I'm sure we'll all want to wish her the best. (Men check ties and hair, women smooth skirts, etc.) And you all remember dear Valerie Chalmers, our head cheerleader, and Miss Union High. Looking good, Val! And over there are Randy James and Frank Snyder. You guys get caught up and we'll be back in fifteen. VALERIE: (Near center, with PAUL, approaches FRANK) Frank, there you are. I want you to meet my husband, Paul Taylor. PJ, this is Frank Snyder, husband number one. PAUL: I'm glad to finally meet you, Frank. Valerie has told me a lot about you. FRANK: Yes, I'm sure she has. VALERIE: You boys behave now, mamma's watching. FRANK: Don't worry, I'm leaving. See you around. (Walks away.) VALERIE: Now, PJ, you go on and do like Big Daddy says and mingle, there has to be someone you know here. I want to talk with my classmates. PAUL: I've asked you not to call me that, my name is Paul. PJ sounds like kids' pajamas, I'm no child. VALERIE: Go on, PJ, you're such a silly. Go get me some punch, and take your time. (PAUL moves away and VALERIE continues breezily to DANA, who is watching PAUL.) Why, Dana, darling sister, what are you doing here? Consorting with your betters? I believe '74 was your year, wasn't it? DANA: I accompanied Jeff, I mean, Mr. Winslow. He didn't have a date. VALERIE: Do you really mean Wiener Winslow? You can't be serious. He's such a nerd! How could you, of all people, take up with him? DANA: Mr. Winslow is my boss, Val, and his company is becoming quite successful. He's also a friend. He served with my husband, Bob, in the Air Force, you know. VALERIE: Oh, poor Dana. What a shame about Bob. I'll just have to renew my acquaintance with Jeff. I never dreamed he was so accomplished! Now, where is he? DANA: You just stay away from him. Besides, here comes Paul. VALERIE: Nonsense, I won't bite, and Paul can look out for himself. (VALERIE turns away from DANA and the approaching PAUL and sees BETSY. She waves gaily and accosts her, kissing air. BETSY receives her coolly.) VALERIE: Why, Betsy, darling. You look wonderful! And what have you done to your hair? It looks marvelous! It is yours, isn't it? BETSY: (Coolly) Hello, Valerie, how are you? VALERIE: My, my, aren't we surly? Let me see your hand. Oh, still playing the spinster, are we? Haven't you settled on a man yet? Or don't you like them? BETSY: Why should I bother, you'd only try to take him away, like Frank. VALERIE: But Betsy, darling, you can't possibly be bitter over that, it's been twenty years. And Frank was such a waste. I know, I wasted three and a half years on him myself. BETSY: The fact is, I would have married Frank if you hadn't sunk your claws into him. We were going steady until that prom, practically engaged. All those years, I thought you were my best friend. You were just biding your time, like any other snake. VALERIE: Honey, I did you a favor, he wasn't worth my time or yours. And besides... (BETSY turns her back abruptly and stalks away angrily, VALERIE shrugs) DONALDSON: Personally, this class was never one of my favorites. PARMINTER: It had it's moments. DONALDSON: Very few, very darn few, if I may say so. PARMINTER: Ethel, your language. DONALDSON: What can they do, fire me? It's bad enough this bunch reminds me of their kids, you want to hear the scary part? JACOBS: Some of them remind you of their parents. DONALDSON: Some of them remind...,oh, yes, that's it. PARMINTER: But surely you remember something good from '72. It's not all that long ago. DONALDSON: Look, you've had five years to sit back and think about it, I'm still grading essays. JACOBS: Oh, come on, Nixon, sideburns, miniskirts, The GODFATHER. . . . DONALDSON: I remember that awful movie. Mr. Kaminsky saw it and walked around for weeks doing Brando. And you kept "Making us offers we can't refuse." PARMINTER: The Seniors finally put something in Mr. K's bed. JACOBS: That was the faculty, the FFA boys donated the head. It was a cabbage. JANET: Miss Parminter, Mrs. Donaldson, Mr. Jacobs, I'm so happy to see you. DONALDSON: Are you really, dear? PARMINTER: Behave yourself, Ethel, this is Janet. One of the good ones. How are you Janet? JANET: I'm fine, I write for the newspaper now. PARMINTER: I know, I'm proud of you. I read every issue. Still keeping those elbows down, I hope. JANET: (Laughs) Of course, and I think of you every time I see someone chew gum, you hated it so. DONALDSON: You might be surprised. She probably chews it herself now. PARMINTER: I do not. You're terrible. JANET: Have you two seen Amanda? She said she was coming. DONALDSON: Amanda Fitzsimmons? She turned into quite a writer. Some of her stories are good. I've used some of them in class. I was surprised that she had written some of those awful romances. PARMINTER: They're not so awful. I've read some of them. DONALDSON: Well, you couldn't tell it to look at you. JEFF: (With punch in hand) Here, Dana, are you sorry you came? DANA: Thank you, it's okay. (Pause) My sister is such a witch. JEFF: Well, we did vote her most likely . . . to be strangled. DANA: I can't understand how Vicki turned out to be such a great kid, with Val for a mother. JEFF: You're a pretty great kid yourself. I can't understand why you won't marry me. I'll even accept Val, as a sister-in-law. DANA: You know I like you, Jeff, you've been a great friend to me since Bob died. I just can't see myself married to you, not now anyway. JEFF: It's Paul Taylor, isn't it. I've seen you watching him. I've had dealings with him, and I've heard more. He and Valerie deserve each other. DANA: You're wrong, I knew him before Val did, in fact, I introduced them. He was in the oil business then and she latched onto him like like a bad nickname. JEFF: I guess that was before the bottom fell out of oil. DANA: Yes, she's just been waiting for a chance to dump him. She'll be after you next. JEFF: She can try, but I'm not interested. The way she dumped on me in school, I can't see her wanting to. It's her sister I'm interested in. DANA: You're sweet, but misguided. Here, watch my drink. I think I'll see if they ever repainted the ladies' room. JEFF: They did. (DANA stops and double-takes to JEFF then exits) FRANK: Amazing, isn't it, Betsy? BETSY: What's that? FRANK: It's almost as if the last twenty years never happened. BETSY: Well, they did, whether we wanted them to or not. FRANK: Val looks the same, anyway. BETSY: She acts the same too. When I think of all the things she's done over the years. She bought into my flower shop and ran it into the ground. I had to clear all the debts and square things with the IRS. And it's not just me, she uses and abuses everyone she meets. FRANK: That's mean. BETSY: Well, it's true, you should know. If she treated anyone worse than she did me, it was you. FRANK: Now, Val is just being Val. She's not responsible for all our problems. BETSY: How can you defend her? Remember prom night? FRANK: Of course I do! BETSY: I got sick, I couldn't go. We'd had lunch at the Dairy Kreme, and I swear that witch poisoned my fries. FRANK: She was your best friend. BETSY: She was. That makes it worse. It was just after Randy's accident and I felt sorry for her. It's pure luck that she wasn't with him. I let you take her since I couldn't go. Next thing I knew, it was all over between you and me. FRANK: I'm sure that I'm more to blame than Val is. BETSY: Frank, you're loyal, but you're wrong. The school paper used her as a clue in the crossword puzzle. Nine letter word for Valerie walking her dog. FRANK: Which was? BETSY: Redundant. The fact is, if Valerie Chalmers was at death's door, there's not a person here who wouldn't want to push her through, except maybe for you, and you have more reason than some. FRANK: That's over and done with. BETSY: Is it? She used you. She married you, had your daughter, then tossed you away like a used tissue. FRANK: That's not true. BETSY: Isn't it? When did you get to see Vicki last? FRANK: You know how teenagers are, she's always so busy. BETSY: So Val tells you anyway. Ten to one she tells Vicki the same thing about you. FRANK: I'm sure you're wrong. BETSY: Prove it. Ask her, or better yet, ask Vicki. FRANK: I will. I know you're wrong, but I will. BETSY: Do it. In the meantime, it's time we talked about us. FRANK: What about us? BETSY: That's just it, I want there to be an us again. It's been too long. FRANK: I know, but I see Val and I forget everything. BETSY: You've got to get that woman out of your system. We need to start over. Just you and me. FRANK: I don't know. BETSY: I do know. Why don't you get another drink. I'll be back. (FRANK moves away, JANET has been nearby) JANET: I'm sorry, Betsy, I couldn't help but overhear. You might be happy to hear that everyone will know the facts about the whole florist shop deal in a few days. BETSY: What do you mean? VALERIE: Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting, Betsy. I really must speak to Janet. BETSY: Go right ahead, I'll see you later. (BETSY exits.) VALERIE: Dear Janet, you know I am so proud at your ability to wear that extra weight. I know I could never pull it off. Thank goodness I can still wear my cheerleader skirt, though Paul says he likes nothing better. I hear you're still stuck here in the old hometown. JANET: Yes, Valerie, I'm an assistant editor for the Union Star. VALERIE: How sweet, just like old times. I remember when you were editor of the yearbook, and that cunning little scandal sheet. And now you're an editor of that charming paper. What won't you think of next? JANET: Well, actually, right now I'm working on a story that will be getting me some national attention. In fact, I've been wanting to speak to you. VALERIE: Me, why whatever for? JANET: Certain things have been said that my readers would be interested in. I thought you might like to comment. VALERIE: Well I'm flattered, but surely you don't think I pay attention to common gossip. JANET: Oh, I'm sure such things are beyond you, but, you see, this concerns you. VALERIE: 'Moi? JANET: Yes, you, and tulips, and very expensive fertilizer. VALERIE: (Stiffly) I'm afraid I've been out of the florist business for quite awhile. JANET: And what exactly do you deal in now, Valerie? VALERIE: (Startled) Maybe we do need to talk. Let's meet later. JANET: Certainly. VALERIE: Yes, we must do that, oh, there's Randy, I must speak to him. Later it is. (VAL, flustered, turns away only to run into Vince) VINCE: Well, hello Val. VALERIE: (Hissing) Stay away from me. (Pushes him aside and walks away. Janet observes with interest. Amanda approaches.) AMANDA: Janet, how are you? I missed you at the literacy meeting. Is everything all right? You certainly put a burr under Valerie's saddle. JANET: Hi, Amanda, everything's okay, I've been busy researching a big story for the newspaper. AMANDA: Anything I'd be interested in? JANET: I'm sure you would, it's pretty hot. I really can't say anything about it right now, but I expect to get some national attention from it. AMANDA: That sounds wonderful. Let me know how it comes out. JANET: I will, how's the new book? Is it really another of your Parson Short mysteries. I think he's wonderful. AMANDA: Yes it is, and it's going very well. I expect to have the first draft finished in about a month. JANET: I can't imagine how you keep all your pen-names straight. And the detail, especially in your crime novels, you've really got the police procedure down well. AMANDA: Tricks of the trade, my dear. The better to fool you with. (Attention is shifted to PAUL and VINCE as FRANK exits) PAUL: (Nervous) Vince, why are you here? I told you I'd have it by the end of the month. VINCE: Relax, Taylor, this is social. Believe it or not, I graduated with this bunch. PAUL: Oh, well, I believe you, I just...... oh, enjoy yourself. VALERIE: (Approaching) Oh, PJ, there you are. Did you hear what Janet . . . ., oh, pardon me for interrupting. PAUL: I, uh, guess you two know each other. (Vince and Valerie answer at same time.) VALERIE: Ah, no . . . VINCE: Well, yes.. VALERIE: Of course, I meant, not really, not since high school. VINCE: Well, I came in the florist shop a few times, but it's been awhile. VALERIE: Oh yes, well, please excuse me. (Walks away flustered.) VINCE: Stick around, Taylor. Since you brought the subject up, how about a report? PAUL: Like I said, I'll get the money. I'll have it when I said. VINCE: What's wrong, sweet Val cutting you off? PAUL: She says there isn't any more. But I've made arrangements. VINCE: I've heard about some of your arrangements. Old Val is a pretty tough broad, and twenty g's is a lot of money. I'm not surprised she wouldn't let you have it. The thing is, the money is due now. We don't like to wait. PAUL: I said I'd get it, and I will. VINCE: I'm not so sure. You have a big obstacle to deal with, and I think you need help with it. PAUL: What are you saying? VINCE: You know what I'm saying. Didn't you increase her life insurance recently? With that and the inheritance, your money problems would be all over. PAUL: You're crazy! VINCE: Like a fox. Think about it. Whatever you do, that money is due now. PAUL: Don't worry, I'll take care of it. VINCE: Oh, I never worry, I have associates who do that for me. You know, there are specialists for everything now. (Sees BUZZ) Say, how's it going, Officer Davis? (BUZZ has been nearby, and just maybe has overheard something.) BUZZ: It's Detective now, Vince. Did I miss something? VINCE: Not much. Say, Taylor, this is Detective Buzz Davis, Buzz, Paul Taylor. BUZZ: Glad to meet you, Paul. You're married to Valerie aren't you? PAUL: That's right. VINCE: Buzz here was quite a role model in High School. Rode a motorcycle, dropped out, joined the Army. Now look at him. One of our boys in blue, or in this case, brown. PAUL: Very interesting, glad to meet you, Detective, I really must go. (PAUL exits.) BUZZ: Nice guy, but sort of nervous. I notice you make a lot of folks nervous, Vince. VINCE: It's more likely you than me. Sorry to leave good company, I have my reputation to consider. BUZZ: Okay, catch you later. VINCE: I doubt it! (VINCE walks toward exit but meets Janet) JANET: Well, hello Vince. VINCE: Oh, hello, . . .let's see, you're.. (Looks at name tag) Janet, do I know you? JANET: Well, I certainly know you. In case you've forgotten, we graduated together. I've become very interested, lately, in your accomplishments in the area of private funding. VINCE: Well, I've been known to lend a friend a buck or two. JANET: And charged a buck or three. You're quite an investor also. Florist shops wasn't it? VINCE: You're misinformed, I'm strictly a consultant. I help a few friends. JANET: Friends like Paul Taylor? Or is he a consultant too? VINCE: Perhaps. You're certainly adept at nosing into other people's affairs. JANET: It's my job. I'm a reporter for the Star. VINCE: Oh, a small town newshound looking for local gossip. JANET: Oh no. Not gossip. Just facts. I plan to move on to much bigger things. VINCE: If you had Mrs. Donaldson for English, you know where ambition got Caesar. But good luck to you. It's been interesting talking to you. So long. (Vince exits.) JACOBS: (Emceeing again) I hope you're all enjoying yourselves. If you haven't seen her yet, look up our valedictorian, Amanda Fitzsimmons, local author made good. Some of you might recognize her as Mona McGuffin or Beverly Bostick. Someone better make sure she bought three tickets. Haha. I bet some of you brought your Parson Short novels for her to sign. I'll have more later, but now let's visit some more. Oh, don't forget to sign the cards for Mrs. Donaldson. PARMINTER: Smile, dear, that's you. DONALDSON: Let's don't, and say we did. PARMINTER: Why don't you just loosen up? Have some fun. DONALDSON: I'm too old for fun. JACOBS: Come on, you're not that old, besides, it's your night to shine. DONALDSON: What'd he say? PARMINTER: You know perfectly well what he said, Ethel, don't try that hard of hearing bit with me. DONALDSON: Have some respect for your elders, please. PARMINTER: Humph, I'm older than you. You only pretend to be hard of hearing to get attention. DONALDSON: That's not true. Actually, I learn more about what's really going on when they think I can't hear them. PARMINTER: I knew it! DONALDSON: I've been thinking, was 1972 the year that Vince Gardner got in trouble for scalping tickets to a High School game? JACOBS: He might have gotten away with it if it had been a better game. DONALDSON: I thought that Davis boy showed promise, it's a shame he dropped out. PARMINTER: You know he came back, got his GED, and went on to college. He's a respected policeman now. DONALDSON: Such a lot of fuss it was. The first district championship in thirty years at stake and he's ineligible because he won a belt buckle in a rodeo. JACOBS: It was a bitter pill. I can't see why he had to quit over it though. PARMINTER: Well, there was that other thing. DONALDSON: That was nothing. I thought the boy had more gumption than that. JACOBS: And then Randy James, my star quarterback, gets hurt in that horrible accident. All because of Valerie. DONALDSON: How can you blame Valerie? Wasn't Randy drinking and driving? It's his fault he got hurt and couldn't play. JACOBS: Well, I say it was because of her. And it cost us the Championship. PARMINTER: Now calm down. Whoever's fault it was, you can see that poor Randy has paid for it. He's still in the wheelchair. I thought he had completely recovered. JACOBS: More complications, I hear. Those back injuries are always tricky. (The lights take our attention to VALERIE and RANDY) VALERIE: Randy James, where have you been. No one has seen you since graduation. RANDY: I live in Beaumont now. You look great, as usual. VALERIE: Why thank you, Mr. James. And where are you working? RANDY: I'm an assistant manager at "Shoes R Us." VALERIE: A shoe salesman, how exciting. RANDY: Well, it's about all I can do since the accident. VALERIE: Oh, yes, the accident. You're certainly lucky you weren't killed. RANDY: I wasn't the only lucky one that night. VALERIE: I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. (JEFF APPROACHES) Why, it's Jeff Winslow. How wonderful to see you again. You seem to have become the success of the class. RANDY: Hello, Jeff. JEFF: Hello, that's not entirely true, Valerie, we also have Amanda and Janet, even Buzz. VALERIE: Oh, I suppose so, but you impress me. Why don't we get together sometime? RANDY: Excuse me, I believe this is where I came in. VALERIE: Yes Randy, we'll talk later. Bye now. (RANDY EXITS) JEFF: I'm not interested Val, besides, aren't you married to Paul? VALERIE: Why, yes I am. But that's nearly finished. We've been talking about divorce. JEFF: How nice for you, but I'm more interested in Dana. VALERIE: That mousy brat! You need a real woman. JEFF: That's Dana. Besides, I don't think you could be serious about me, not Wiener Winslow. VALERIE: That was a long time ago, things change. JEFF: Yes, that's true, I have, you haven't. See you. (AMANDA approaches as JEFF exits.) AMANDA: You do seem to make friends everywhere you go, Valerie. VALERIE: You might be surprised. And how is the Queen of the Pulps nowadays? I'm amazed, you've sold all those books and still can't afford contacts. AMANDA: And you've got all that money and no tact. As a matter of fact, I have a new book coming out soon. VALERIE: Yes, I've heard they sell well, at garage sales. I suppose certain types of people might like them. I've never understood why. AMANDA: Well, maybe the "Cliffnotes" would help. How is Vicki? I see her picture in the papers quite a bit. You must be proud. VALERIE: Oh yes, she's certain to be valedictorian. And of course she's Miss Union High School. AMANDA: She writes well, also. I've enjoyed her letters to the editor. VALERIE: Thank you. You know, I've often thought of writing. AMANDA: You know, you should. A lot of us would find it very interesting. In fact, I have a piece of paper here, you can start with Randy's accident. VALERIE: I don't think so. You must excuse me, I really need to make a call. (VALERIE exits. BUZZ approaches) BUZZ: I'm impressed, how did you get rid of the dragon lady so fast? AMANDA: Oh, it wasn't hard. She's used to being a big frog in a small pond, I just rattled her pad. BUZZ: Very good. Is that from the new book? AMANDA: Not yet, but it might be. How about you, do you regret coming? BUZZ: No, not at all. It's good to see some of them. AMANDA: Only some? BUZZ: You take the bad with the good, as your "Parson Short" might say. AMANDA: Speaking of the good reverend, what did Chief Jones say when you confessed that you'd been helping me? BUZZ: He wasn't surprised. Believe it or not, he's a fan. He says he thought he recognized my hand in that very first anthology. AMANDA: Short Stories I? BUZZ: Yes, he said, "I would have known your sloppy procedures anywhere," and he laughed that laugh of his. AMANDA: I'm glad he wasn't mad. BUZZ: Well, he agreed it was a good idea to keep it quiet. But he sees no harm in it. (They are interrupted by JANET.) JANET: Amanda, where is Valerie? She said she'd meet me. AMANDA: I believe she went to the ladies' room, she should be back. JANET: I believe I'll look for her before she has more time to sharpen her fangs. (JANET exits.) AMANDA: Good luck. (To BUZZ) Did you look over the first draft I sent you of Short Circuit? BUZZ: Yes, I did. I'm sorry, I still have trouble with using an avocado as a murder weapon, frozen or not. Although serving it to the Parson as guacamole was a neat touch. AMANDA: Well, think about it, enough shop talk, here's Dana. (DANA enters from offstage, flustered.) AMANDA: Dana, over here. DANA: Amanda, how are you? AMANDA: I'm just fine, but are you okay? You look disturbed about something. DANA: Oh, it's nothing, I just ran into my darling sister in the hall. BUZZ: She doesn't win friends, but she does influence people, for the worst. DANA: She's more like Union's version of the Pom-pom Mom. I feel sorry for poor Vicki. BUZZ: Yes, she's a good kid. She must have taken after Frank. AMANDA: How about you, Dana, are you still working for Jeff? DANA: Yes, it's a good job, and he's a great boss. AMANDA: Do I detect a romantic interest? DANA: No, no, Jeff's just a friend, a good one. I really don't care for romance just now. AMANDA: What a pity, you make a lovely couple. I believe he's devoted to you. BUZZ: I agree, here he comes now. (JEFF enters) Jeff, we were just talking about you. JEFF: All good, I hope. AMANDA: Certainly. We were just telling Dana how you and she should. . . . DANA: (Hurriedly) Should go get some cake and punch. Let's go. 'Bye. (DANA and JEFF walk away.) BUZZ: That was interesting, what do you think? AMANDA: I agree, cake and punch sounds good. Get me some while you're there. BUZZ: (Laughs) You're on. (BUZZ walks away.) (Randy enters with FRANK.) AMANDA: Randy, how have you been? RANDY: Pretty good, Amanda. I've enjoyed your books. AMANDA: Thank you. What have you been doing? RANDY: The usual, selling shoes and such. This chair kind of limits me. AMANDA: I can't imagine anything limiting you, Randy. By the way, would you have the time? RANDY: (Checks watch.) Of course, it's 8:30. AMANDA: A Rolex, pretty fancy for a shoe salesman. (Betsy enters.) RANDY: It was a gift, say there's Betsy. I think she's looking for you. I'll see you. (He moves away quickly) AMANDA: Betsy, you look great. Who's the lucky guy. BETSY: I'm not sure, but I'm working on it. I need to speak to Frank, have you seen him? AMANDA: I believe he's...,yes, there he is. BETSY: We'll talk later, Amanda, I really need to see Frank. AMANDA: That's okay, we have all night. Oh, Mr. Jacob's back on stage. (VINCE enters.) (A short bit of reunion entertainment, i.e. cheerleaders, etc., might be introduced here as a filler.) JACOBS: (Emceeing again) Okay folks, the time is fast approaching. In a few minutes we'll crown our King and Queen. Be sure to give your ballots to Miss Parminter to be counted. Now, we have a little time to kill, so... (PAUL enters disheveled, comes to stage.) Paul, what is it. PAUL: Please help me, it's Valerie. I think she's dead. (Assorted gasps, conversation, etc. as BUZZ grabs PAUL and they exit.) (The following is included for audience participation.) JACOBS: Ladies and gentlemen, while Detective Davis is checking out the situation, I suggest we try to calm down. There's no point in panicking until we know what's happened. Let's take a few minutes and enjoy the refreshments. I'm sure some of you want to discuss recent developments, at least until Buzz returns. Feel free to ask questions of our graduates. (During intermission, actors remain, in character, to answer questions from the audience. End ACT I ACT II SETTING: Same as end Act I. AT RISE: BUZZ returns with PAUL and takes command. BUZZ: Let me have your attention. Evidently Valerie Chalmers Taylor has been murdered. Mr. Taylor discovered her in a closet. An autopsy will determine for certain, but she appears to have been killed by a blow to the head. I have called the police and an ambulance. AMANDA: Buzz, what can we do until they arrive? BUZZ: As long as we have to wait anyway, and I'm already here, I suggest I take your statements. That way we'll all be able to leave that much sooner when they get here. Also, I'll have to admit, I wouldn't mind having the whole thing cleared up before then. JACOBS: You heard him, folks. Let's all cooperate and maybe we can get the whole dreadful mess behind us. (To BUZZ) How can we help? BUZZ: There is one other person here whose understanding of crime and procedure exceeds mine. In fact, she has one of the best criminal minds on our side of the law. Amanda, I would like your help with this. AMANDA: Thanks, I think. I'll be happy to. What do you want me to do? BUZZ: Why don't you show us what you've learned about procedure? You can help with the questioning. We need to try and narrow down when the killing happened and where everyone was at the time. Perhaps you noticed something I missed. AMANDA: How about the murder weapon? Do you have any ideas? BUZZ: The handset and cord are missing from the pay phone. Really, though, she could have been struck by anything. I suppose we can rule out avocadoes. AMANDA: Very funny. Who's first? BUZZ: I suppose we should first clear each other. AMANDA: Good idea. The attack took place down the hall? Where was her body found? BUZZ: It was in a janitor closet near the pay phone. AMANDA: Had she been robbed? BUZZ: No she had her bag and apparently all her jewelry. She still had on her earrings. AMANDA: Both of them? BUZZ: Sure. How about clearing me first? AMANDA: That should be simple enough. I don't recall seeing you leave the room, did you? BUZZ: No. Not until Paul came back. AMANDA: Can anyone verify that? JEFF: I believe Buzz was here the whole time. DONALDSON: I've been here the whole time. I never saw him leave. AMANDA: In light of that, I suppose you're in the clear, for now. BUZZ: How about yourself, did you leave the room? AMANDA: Not since I've been here. BUZZ: I can vouch for part of that, but anyone disagree? Okay, let's proceed. AMANDA: Okay, Jeff, if you don't mind let's start with you. JEFF: Why not? Let's get this over with. BUZZ: Relax, we're gonna be here for a while. AMANDA: What can you tell us about Valerie's death? JEFF: I'm afraid I can't contribute anything. There seems to be plenty of people who dislike her. BUZZ: She was pretty mean to you in school, wasn't she? JEFF: Well, yes. After all, she was the most popular girl in school. When I finally got the nerve to ask her out, she laughed in my face and called me Wiener Winslow. AMANDA: How rude. That couldn't have made a teenager feel very good. JEFF: It didn't. But that's Val, or that was Val. BUZZ: What about lately? JEFF: Well, it's no secret that I'm interested in Dana. When Val saw us here today, she started hitting on me. AMANDA: What did you say? JEFF: I turned her down. BUZZ: And yet in school, it was Valerie you wanted. JEFF: Didn't everyone? I only joined the Drama and Spanish Clubs because she was in them. She was delighted to let me do her homework, but if I asked her out I was Wiener Winslow the Nerd. AMANDA: That was twenty years ago, though. JEFF: A long time to hold a grudge, you mean. You're right. I can't ever forget it. But I wouldn't have killed her for it. BUZZ: Why not, sounds like a pretty good motive to me. JEFF: Maybe so. Some men let that sort of thing eat at them forever, and never progress beyond it. I can't forget it, but I've moved on. I've done well, my company is making money. My future is fairly secure and I'm hoping Dana will share it with me. DANA: Jeff, I . . . AMANDA: It's okay, Dana. Jeff, didn't you feel that maybe Val might interfere in your relationship with Dana? JEFF: Dana has a mind of her own. Actually, I hoped Val would object. Dana's stubborn enough to do just the thing Val opposes. BUZZ: Had you had any dealings with Valerie recently? JEFF: I haven't seen her for years. Of course I've heard news of her from time to time. Val loved to make waves, you know. AMANDA: But you've had no business dealings. She's not, for instance, an investor in your company? BUZZ: Good point. JEFF: No, I.D.A. is a private corporation. I am the majority stockholder. The rest is owned by personal friends and a few employees. Val never bought in. I wouldn't have sold to her in any case. AMANDA: When did you see Valerie last tonight? JEFF: It was in here, she was making her pass at me. BUZZ: Anything else, Amanda? AMANDA: No, not now. JEFF: I read somewhere that Living well is the best revenge. I believe that, and turning Val down tonight finished it. I didn't need to kill Val. I've had my revenge. BUZZ: I hope that's the truth. JEFF: It is. BUZZ: Okay, why don't we talk to Dana now? JEFF: Can you wait awhile? She's in shock. Val was her sister after all. AMANDA: I think so. We'll move her down the list. BUZZ: But we will have to question her eventually. JEFF: Thank you. AMANDA: Frank, how about you? FRANK: What do you mean? AMANDA: How about your statement? FRANK: It wasn't me. I didn't do it. BUZZ: Nobody said you did. Settle down. FRANK: I know what you're thinking. What better suspect than the ex- husband? Well it's not me. BUZZ: Okay, okay, we still have to question you. AMANDA: How did things stand between you and Valerie? FRANK: We didn't really part on the friendliest of terms. AMANDA: Why not? FRANK: I loved her. I still do. I didn't want her to go, and she took my daughter. BUZZ: Didn't that make you mad? FRANK: It didn't make me happy. What happens to Vicki now? BUZZ: That's probably up to the courts. What about money? FRANK: Val's lawyers socked it to me for the child support. I barely have enough to live on. I wouldn't mind so much if Vicki gets it, but she doesn't. AMANDA: I think Buzz was really asking about wills or insurance. FRANK: I doubt there's anything for me. She's erased me from her life. BUZZ: Who were Valerie's enemies? FRANK: How much time have you got? BUZZ: Let me rephrase that. Who hated her enough to actually go through with killing her? FRANK: I really don't know. I'm not up on her more recent activities. There's no one I can think of. AMANDA: So you don't know who might profit from her death? FRANK: I suppose Paul or Vicki would inherit whatever is left of the old Chalmers estate. Dana may even get something. AMANDA: When did you last see Valerie tonight? FRANK: I spoke to her and Paul when I first got here. I saw her around the room later. BUZZ: What is your opinion of Paul? FRANK: I don't know him. From what I've heard, though, Val deserved better. BUZZ: (To AMANDA) Maybe we'd best talk to Paul now. (To FRANK) Stay close, we might want to see you again. FRANK: Don't worry. AMANDA: Paul, I know this is hard on you, but we do need to question you. How were things between you and Valerie? PAUL: Just fine, never better. BUZZ: Didn't I hear something about money problems, though? PAUL: Oh, well, that was just a private matter. Valerie didn't know about it. BUZZ: Are you sure she didn't? PAUL: Yes. She asked me once not to involve her in my business transactions. So I haven't. BUZZ: What sort of transactions? PAUL: Investments, some real estate, stocks, things like that. AMANDA: Wasn't Valerie a wealthy woman? I mean, didn't she inherit her parents' estate? BUZZ: That's right. I heard it was worth a lot. PAUL: You're right. There's no way of telling how long it would have lasted, though. Valerie was really going through it. BUZZ: I imagine she had some help. PAUL: Well, you know how real estate is doing now, and the stock market is down more than it's up. AMANDA: Were there a few investments at, oh, Manor Downs, for instance? PAUL: Just a few recreational wagers. Nothing heavy. BUZZ: When I first met you here tonight you were buddy-buddy with Vince Gardner, whose business and ethics the authorities have had to examine more than once. PAUL: That was nothing. He was just reminiscing about the Class of '72. VINCE: That's right, Detective. Just an innocent exchange between new friends. BUZZ: I'll accept the exchange part. Innocent, I doubt. AMANDA: How did you get along with Vicki? PAUL: Very well. Of course, Valerie spoils her, but I'd say we get along. BUZZ: Do you know anyone who hated Valerie enough to kill her? PAUL: I'm sure there were several people who were jealous of Valerie or didn't like her. No one ever threatened her that I know of. BUZZ: No threatening calls or letters, or anything like that? PAUL: None at all. AMANDA: Will you inherit the estate? PAUL: I don't know. Valerie never told me about her will, but I am her husband, after all. AMANDA: What about insurance? PAUL: We both had our policies increased a few months back. BUZZ: Who was her beneficiary? PAUL: We named each other, of course. BUZZ: What was the policy amount? PAUL: One million each. BUZZ: (Whistles.) That's a good bit of cash. Worth risking prison for, I'll bet. PAUL: I resent your tone, Detective. I loved my wife. She loved me. AMANDA: And yet she came on to Jeff Winslow tonight, in front of everyone. PAUL: Valerie often flirted. It didn't mean anything. She wanted attention, especially from men. I understood her. She wouldn't have gone through with it. Give her a break. It's not like she was running for the Supreme Court. BUZZ: No, but it may have gotten her killed. Something did. AMANDA: When did you see Valerie last tonight? PAUL: I went outside for a smoke. I think she was in here talking to the guy in the wheelchair, Randy, isn't it? BUZZ: You didn't see her in the hall? PAUL: Not until I found her awhile ago. AMANDA: Just how did you come to look into that closet? PAUL: I hate to admit it, I wasn't paying attention. I thought it was the men's room. It was quite a shock. BUZZ: I'm sure. Amanda, shall we move on? AMANDA: I believe so. Let's compare notes for a minute. (Shift attention, lights, to DONALDSON, PARMINTER, JACOBS) DONALDSON: This is simply awful. PARMINTER: Yes, it is. I can't believe someone killed that girl. DONALDSON: She had such a bright future. (To JACOBS) You know, her daughter is in my Advanced Placement class. PARMINTER: Do you remember when Valerie Chalmers was Homecoming Queen? DONALDSON: Now that, I remember. I helped count the votes. We had to disqualify some of the nominees. Quietly, of course. Those kids would nominate some of the most inappropriate people. If they had only known what I knew about some of them. JACOBS: Do you honestly mean that you arbitrarily censored the nominee list? DONALDSON: There was nothing arbitrary about it. I merely guided the selection process. After all, Valerie won, who could have been a more appropriate Queen? JACOBS: Well, you're right about that. It still doesn't seem honest. PARMINTER: I hear that her daughter is up for Miss Union High. DONALDSON: That's right, and deservedly too. I haven't seen a better choice in years. This scandal could put a damper on things, though. JACOBS: I hope not. None of this is her fault. DONALDSON: The sins of the fathers, or in this case the mothers, I suppose. PARMINTER: Well, so far we don't know for sure who was to blame. DONALDSON: I'll vote for the husband. He looks shifty enough. JACOBS: That figures. (Attention shifts back to BUZZ and AMANDA) BUZZ: All right, Vince, I think it's your turn. VINCE: I knew you'd be getting to me eventually. BUZZ: Did you think we'd forget you? VINCE: Oh, I wouldn't let you. I hate to be ignored. BUZZ: It seems to me you would prefer it that way. VINCE: You see, there's a lot you don't know about me. AMANDA: Just what was Paul Taylor's involvement with you? VINCE: Like he said. It was purely social. AMANDA: How about Valerie, have you seen her recently? VINCE: We ran into each other over the years. I bought a corsage or two at her florist shop. AMANDA: Wasn't there some unpleasantness associated with that florist shop? In fact, I remember your name connected with it. BUZZ: That's right. It was charged that the shop was involved with money laundering. VINCE: A complete fabrication. All charges were dropped. BUZZ: Yeah. Slick lawyers and not much evidence. VINCE: Anyway, assuming I was involved, that's old news. I'm an honest business man now. BUZZ: Oh yes, what was that business again? VINCE: I'm a consultant for the City Council. AMANDA: Excuse me, Buzz, perhaps we had best deal with one crime at a time. Now you say that your dealings with Paul were only social? VINCE: That's right. In fact, we discussed the real estate market and loan defaults. BUZZ: This is getting nowhere. When did you last see Valerie tonight? VINCE: She was talking on the pay phone in the hall. I didn't see her later. BUZZ: How about Paul Taylor, did you see him again. VINCE: We exchanged a few words outside. We talked about investment strategies. BUZZ: So you don't know who might have killed Valerie. VINCE: I haven't the faintest idea. I must say she wasn't well liked. AMANDA: That's becoming quite obvious. Betsy, what can you tell us about these events tonight? BETSY: I don't know what to tell you. AMANDA: Just tell the truth. That's a good start. BETSY: The truth is, I'm glad she's dead. But I didn't kill her. BUZZ: Well, that's probably the most honest thing anyone has said tonight. Why did you want her dead? BETSY: She has completely ruined my life. It seems that everything I tried to do, she was there to destroy it. BUZZ: Starting with...? BETSY: Starting with school. I had to compete with Val for everything. Every honor, every accomplishment, she had to have it. She stole Frank from me and later she took my business. She ran the florist shop into debt and left me to pay the bills. I'm sorry I ever called myself her friend. AMANDA: What have been your contacts with her since then? BETSY: I try to avoid her but everywhere I go I run into her. I have refused to do any other business with her and rarely speak to her. AMANDA: Who could blame you? How are things between you and Frank now? BETSY: I've been trying to bring him around, but the jerk is still in love with her, even after all she's done to him. BUZZ: So with Valerie gone you might have a clear field with Frank. BETSY: Maybe, but why risk everything, even if she did deserve it? BUZZ: That is just what we're trying to determine here. Where was Valerie when you saw her last? BETSY: We had words here, I went to the bathroom to compose myself. Later I saw her in the hall, she was waiting to use the phone. AMANDA: Was anyone with her? BETSY: Just Janet, she was talking on the phone ahead of Val. BUZZ: Say, where is Janet? AMANDA: I haven't seen her for quite a while. PAUL: Maybe she's the one who killed Valerie and she took off. AMANDA: We'd better find her. BUZZ: I'm not too worried yet. We need to finish the statements. Mr. Jacobs, could you go look for Janet Parker? If she's not here I'll need to call the station. JACOBS: Okay, I'll go. BUZZ: Take Jeff Winslow with you, but stay together. I can't have all my suspects disappearing. JEFF: Don't worry. I wouldn't miss the rest of this for the world. (JEFF and JACOBS exit.) AMANDA: To continue, maybe we should speak to Dana now. DANA: I'm ready. What can I tell you? AMANDA: You heard what we've asked the others. Who might have wanted Valerie dead? DANA: Valerie didn't have many friends, at least not for long. A lot of people disliked her. I can't think of anyone who hated her enough for this, though. BUZZ: How were things between her and Paul? DANA: Poor Paul, she really made him suffer. I introduced them. Val latched onto him the minute she saw him, even though he was dating me. Probably, because he was dating me. AMANDA: She seems to have had a history of that sort of thing. BETSY: I'll say. DANA: Val couldn't stand to see another woman with a man she wanted. She had to prove that she was the most attractive. Everything was a competition with her. AMANDA: Didn't you resent that? DANA: Of course. She always had to have the best and be the best, in everything. I always felt like Cinderella with her evil step- sisters. BUZZ: Didn't she cut you out of your inheritance? DANA: Yes, she convinced Mom and Dad that the best thing for me was for her to get it all and manage it for me. I've never seen a penny of it since. BUZZ: What a sweetheart! DANA: The day after my husband's funeral Valerie called me and said, If you're through with the black dress, I need it for a party. I cried for hours. BUZZ: Have there been any conflicts lately? DANA: Not really. We don't see each other much. I got a good job working for Jeff at IDA, it keeps me busy and I enjoy it. Valerie always treated me like poor relations anyway. AMANDA: Where did you see Valerie last? DANA: I ran into her in the hall. She was giving me a bad time about Jeff coming with me. She was insinuating that Jeff was gay and he was the best I could come up with. I didn't hang around. BUZZ: When was this? DANA: Just before Janet talked to her near the phones. BUZZ: You didn't see her again? DANA: No. I hope you catch whoever did it, she was my sister, she didn't have to die like that. BUZZ: We're doing our best. AMANDA: Thank you, Dana. I know this is hard for you. BUZZ: Jacobs hasn't returned with Janet, I guess I'll have to go look for them all. AMANDA: Let's talk to Randy first. Then you can go. RANDY: I'm here. How can I help? AMANDA: We didn't get to talk before. I heard you had recovered from the accident. RANDY: Sometimes, these things never entirely go away. My legs collapsed last year. My doctor says I'll probably never walk again. AMANDA: Valerie was responsible for that accident, wasn't she? RANDY: I didn't think anyone knew. AMANDA: High school girls pass around secrets like candy bars. Valerie was drunk, you covered for her. It was your decision so we let it go at that. We were surprised you continued to take the blame even after she dumped you. RANDY: I promised. Besides, football season was nearly over. I couldn't play anyway. She had more to lose. I was a fool, but I loved her, then. BUZZ: But not now? RANDY: I've been away from here for a while. I've had time to think. She was wrong to treat me that way, but I went along with it. AMANDA: But now you're in a wheelchair. It's Valerie's fault. Don't you want revenge? RANDY: Not like that. I can't condone murder, but whoever killed Valerie avenged all of us. It would have been better to see her have to live with the realization of her defeat. AMANDA: Have you had any further contact with Valerie lately? RANDY: I saw her last year when I came back for my cousin Jack's funeral. BUZZ: How about tonight? RANDY: The last time I saw her was right here in this room. I spoke to her. We didn't talk long. BUZZ: Did she give any indication that she was in trouble? RANDY: Not to me. She was nervous, but most people are around cripples. AMANDA: So you didn't notice anyone, perhaps, threaten her. RANDY: Not at all. BUZZ: Did you leave the room? RANDY: Yes, several of us did. I think she was talking with Jeff Winslow. I never saw her again. BUZZ: I guess that's all for now. I think I'd better try to find the search party. AMANDA: Go on, I'll try to find out if anyone else saw anything. (BUZZ EXITS) DONALDSON: It's about time. I thought we'd have wait all night to say anything. AMANDA: Did you see something that has a bearing on this? DONALDSON: It's quite obvious to me that the husband did it. AMANDA: Which one, Frank or Paul? DONALDSON: That Paul. I think he's shifty. He probably just wanted that girl for her money. I've seen people just like him on Unsolved Mysteries. PARMINTER: Ethel, calm down. I think he looks perfectly nice. You don't even know him. AMANDA: Miss Parminter is right, Mrs. Donaldson, but I assure you that we'll keep that in mind. Now, did you actually see anything that we can use as evidence? DONALDSON: What did you say? PARMINTER: Stop that Ethel, Amanda is trying to help. I'm sorry Amanda, I'm not sure I did. There was a lot of coming and going, and Valerie spoke with a lot of people. None of them seemed overly friendly with her. DONALDSON: Well, she didn't speak to us. You'd think it was the least she could do. PARMINTER: She didn't have time. I'm sure she would have eventually. AMANDA: Do you know of anyone else who might have had something against Valerie? DONALDSON: One other person does come to mind. Farley Jacobs. AMANDA: Mr. Jacobs? DONALDSON: Yes. He was very partial to Valerie when she was his student. We used to tease him about his teacher's pet. I'm not sure that it went beyond that. Most males turn into jello around a girl as pretty as Valerie. I've never understood it myself. However, he's always blamed Valerie for Randy's accident. DANA: Val made all her best grades in American History, and never studied. She could always get some boy or other to do her homework. PARMINTER: I'm afraid she's right, Amanda. AMANDA: Do you know if they ever saw each other outside of school. DONALDSON: Not that I know of. But who can be sure? (BUZZ, JACOBS, and JEFF re-enter quickly) BUZZ: I'm afraid we have a complication. AMANDA: Did you find Janet? BUZZ: Yes, she's dead. AMANDA: Where, how? BUZZ: In the office. The cord to this was around her neck. (Holds up pay-phone handset in bag.) JACOBS: So now we have a double murder. AMANDA: That does complicate things. PARMINTER: So far as I know, everyone liked her. DANA: First Valerie, now Janet. Who could have wanted them both dead? AMANDA: She told me she was working on a big story. Something to get national exposure, she said. BUZZ: What was it about? AMANDA: She didn't say. She wasn't ready to share it with me. BUZZ: Several people said they saw Janet and Val in the hall, did anyone see them later? (General shaking of heads, etc.) BUZZ: I think we all need to compare notes now and consider this new development. Let's break for a few minutes and see if anyone else can come up with questions. Feel free to discuss it with each other or the other graduates. At the end of the break, we'll ask you to turn in your solutions and the supporting clues for judging. END ACT II (As before, guests can question characters for a short time. Perhaps five minutes. Also, characters must be cautioned to re- iterate only information already exposed, no new info. At the end of this period, clue sheets are collected and judged.) ACT III AT RISE: BUZZ and AMANDA are comparing notes. Perhaps appear to be reading the audience responses. BUZZ begins. BUZZ: I've got it. I know who did it! AMANDA: Are you sure? BUZZ: Very sure. I think I can prove it! AMANDA: Go ahead, let's see what you have. BUZZ: Okay, pay attention. It's no secret that the first person we suspect in a case like this is the spouse. I'll have to admit that Paul looked very promising. PAUL: I didn't do it. BUZZ: Just wait. You had a pretty good opportunity. You had several good motives. Clearly, a good strong suspect. You just might have done it. PAUL: No. BUZZ: I don't think so either. I don't see why you would pretend to find the body as you did. Now, Dana, on the other hand . . . JEFF: Wait just a minute. DANA: Let him talk. BUZZ: There are also many reasons Dana could have killed her sister. Including the inheritance and resentment. It might have seemed out of character for her, but many times a nice, polite, quiet person is pushed just to far and snaps. AMANDA: But not this time. BUZZ: I don't think so. I don't believe she would have risked it. FRANK: Would you get on with it? BUZZ: Okay, Frank, since you asked. As he told us, Frank is another very logical suspect. He is the stereotype bitter ex-husband. Betsy tells us, though, that Frank still loved Valerie. Has that changed enough for him to kill her? Love is as strong a motive for murder as money. That could be the case, but I think I have a better choice of murderer. JACOBS: This Charlie Chan routine is getting old, detective. DONALDSON: I don't think he does know. Maybe he's just trying to torture us until one of us confesses. PARMINTER: That sounds like something you used to do in home room, Ethel. BUZZ: I just want to see if you all follow my reasoning on this. AMANDA: Go ahead, Buzz, we're listening. BUZZ: Okay, now Betsy was once Valerie's best friend. We know that Valerie took advantage of that friendship and pretty much walked all over Betsy. Betsy also admitted that she was glad to see Valerie dead. However, evidently others saw Valerie alive after Betsy did. Also, the blow to Valerie's head and the strangling of Janet would have taken some strength. I'm not inclined to believe that Betsy did it. If so, then why wait until now? BETSY: But she really did deserve it. AMANDA: How about Jeff? BUZZ: I tend to believe what he said about getting even. He had more to lose than to gain by committing this crime. After all, I doubt Dana would marry Valerie's killer, even if she herself hated her. VINCE: You seem to be eliminating everyone but me. BUZZ: Vince, you have a smart remark for every occasion. If we could believe everything you say I might jail you just on general principals. One thing I do know is that you don't get your hands dirty. If you wanted Valerie and Janet dead, you might possibly have it done but very discretely. Anything else is not your style, and I do know your style. VINCE: I'm flattered, detective. BUZZ: That's not a compliment. No, I believe our murderer is Randy James. (Gasps, words of amazement from group.) RANDY: You're crazy. Why me, and how? AMANDA: I think you're wrong, Buzz. BUZZ: I don't think so. Randy has a very good motive and was among the last to see Valerie. It may be that Janet got in his way, or he killed her to cover his tracks. JEFF: But he's crippled. BUZZ: That's a good reason to suspect him. The least likely one, and all that. RANDY: But you said the blows and strangling required a lot of strength. BUZZ: Oh, as for that, I happen to know that people in wheelchairs develop a lot of upper-body strength. So that's no problem. But that doesn't apply in this case does it? You're no cripple! (BUZZ throws drink in RANDY'S lap) RANDY: (Jumping to feet.) What's the idea? Oh, I..... BUZZ: (Covers him with gun.) Just stay right there. AMANDA: Very good. BUZZ: What did you use on Valerie? Was it the phone, or something else? RANDY: You've got it all wrong. BUZZ: It doesn't look like it, does it? RANDY: Can I show you something? It's in my pocket. BUZZ: Very carefully. RANDY: Don't worry, take a look at this. (Takes an ID wallet from his pocket. Shows badge to BUZZ) BUZZ: What's that supposed to mean? RANDY: It means that I'm a Federal Agent. I'm here to investigate organized crime activities, including a case of money laundering possibly involving Vincent Gardner and Valerie Taylor. AMANDA: I thought so. I wondered about that sudden relapse. And a shoe salesman with a Rolex? RANDY: I didn't kill Valerie. I was about to arrest Vince and I would have arrested her as an accomplice. She laundered money for him, some of it directly into the florist shop, some of it she exchanged for diamonds, smuggled here in shipments of tulip bulbs. It took us a while to get to her. The trail stopped when she left the shop. We even suspected Betsy for a while. BETSY: How could you? BUZZ: Assuming all this is true, who killed Valerie and Janet? AMANDA: Vince. BUZZ: Why Vince? AMANDA: Oh, don't get me wrong. I don't think he killed Janet. Like you said, that's not his style, normally. BUZZ: What? VINCE: I'd like to know what tipped you off, but I gotta give you credit, Amanda, you might have it figured out. AMANDA: Not all of it, but some. Valerie killed Janet, didn't she? DANA: But Valerie was killed before Janet. AMANDA: No, her body was found first, that doesn't mean she was killed first. In Vince's statement, he said he saw her after anyone else saw Janet, but you lied about her using the phone, didn't you. VINCE: You're right, but I don't know how. AMANDA: Her earrings. BUZZ: What about the earrings? AMANDA: She still had them on, didn't she? BUZZ: So what? AMANDA: So a man probably wouldn't have noticed. If Vince were telling the truth, then the attack must have happened immediately after he saw Valerie on the phone. He was one of the last persons to enter the room before her body was found by Paul. BUZZ: I'll go along with that. AMANDA: Valerie would have had to remove one of those large earrings to talk on the phone. She probably would not have had time to replace it before she was killed. Therefore, Vince must not have seen her using the phone. What was she doing, Vince, killing Janet? DANA: Oh no! VINCE: You've got it. (Pauses) You know, I admired Janet. She had guts. She had the goods on Valerie and me, that whole florist scam. I heard the commotion in the office, I caught Val coming out. She had just strangled Janet with that phone wire. She said she had heard Janet telling the paper that she would be releasing our names for her story tomorrow. She followed her into the office and finished her. She was proud of it. AMANDA: Then what happened? VINCE: I told her off. That's not the way to handle things. She kicked me, I shoved her against the wall. She hit the door frame and went down. When I saw she was dead, I put her into the janitor's closet. I was planning to dispose of her later. BUZZ: But Paul came along. VINCE: Yes he did. And he still owes me money. BUZZ: You might have trouble collecting in prison. AMANDA: You know, Vince's lawyer will probably be able to make a case for accidental death, or maybe even self-defense. Although he did try to hide the body. BUZZ: You know, you're right. He'll probably be out before I even finish the paperwork. VINCE: Count on it. BUZZ: I don't know how you did it, Amanda, but thank you. AMANDA: It was interesting Buzz, but don't thank me, thank you, the audience for your participation. End of Play