The Saxophone Man
                              
                              
                              
                              
                             By
                              
                     Jonathan Calindas
                              
                              
                              

Preface:
   
   "The Saxophone Man" is a surrealistic play that dances
around in the mind of the main character, Adam Smith.  The
splintered fragments of his personality each have their own
story, sometimes conflicting with each other.  These
personalities argue with each other and otherwise fight for
control of Adam's mind.  One actor will play all of these
personalities, and while I understand that this is a very
challenging role, the actor must be able to differentiate
between personalities to be effective.  Some personality
transitions are implicitly stated in the text while some are
implied simply by changing the name.
   There are also quite a large number of characters in the
play other than Adam. (22+)  However, most of these parts
are very small.  Casting an actor or actress in more than
one role is not only allowed, but encouraged.  Remember that
this takes place in the mind of Adam Smith and stereotyped
characters should have the same face, or in many respects,
be faceless.  It is up to the director to choose which parts
are given to which actor/actress.  Several multiple parts
may add meaning to the play, for example, the Counselor also
playing the part of the Man-In-Suit and the Principal.
   The sets should be simple, if not just an empty dark
stage.  Most of the play can be performed on an empty stage
with two plain chairs in the middle.  Other sets like the
train station or the cemetery can be created with but one
prop, such as a tombstone, or even just the sound of a train
whistle.  Lighting will play an important part in creating
the mood of the play, and I think this is where the set
designers can be the most adventurous.








ACT I

Scene 1

(The silhouette of a saxophone player plays in the
   background of a train station in the night.  Adam enters,
   a bookbag behind him.  He pauses to look at the saxophone
   player and listen in awe to his music, but he is about to
   miss his train and runs out.)


Scene 2

(Enter Adie.  He looks around, as if sneaking on stage.)

Adie:  Hi, my name is Adie Smith, and I live in Holden, New
   Jersey.  I'm here to tell you a story.  My mommy told it
   to me one night.  There was once a ... no, wait ... Once
   upon a time, there was a man who loved to play the
   saxophone a lot, so everybody called him the Saxman.  He
   was very quiet, and he didn't make friends with anybody.
   Then he got sick and he died, but before he died, he fell
   in love with a beautiful woman.  When he died, his soul
   couldn't go to heaven without her, and his soul had to
   wander around on Earth.  Then he found out that if he
   played his saxophone, he called out to her soul to be
   with him.  So he played and he played and her soul was
   ready to go to heaven with him, but that would mean that
   she would have to die and the Saxman couldn't have that,
   so he let her go, and now his soul continues to wander
   around on Earth looking for the souls of little children
   who won't eat their vegetables so he can take them
   instead.  (short pause) Ok ... bye.

(Exit Adie.  Enter Writer)

Writer:  Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.  Thank you all
   for coming.  My name is Adam Smith.  We have a great show
   for you tonight.  The <Theatre Name>, as you know, of
   course, present "The Saxman".  The director of the play,
   <Director>, asked me if I would honor them with an
   introduction to the play.  How can I refuse?
     "The Saxman" at least I intended it to be, is a play
   about true and unconditional love.  Within the main
   character lies not just the love of a person, but the
   intrinsic need for all human beings to be loved by
   someone.  It is a tale of loneliness, of love lost, and
   of what a person will do to be loved.
     You know, as I was writing it, I was afraid that people
   would think that I was writing about myself.  This being
   my first play, I held back many facets of the characters
   that I thought were too close to my own personality.  I
   was afraid of revealing something about myself that I did
   not want the public to know, or worse, something that is
   not about me that may be mistaken to be part of me.  I
   even thought of making up a pen name.  But as I wrote the
   play, the characters became bland and dull.  I was
   holding back too much.  So I decided to heck with
   everyone, let them think what they want.  I poured out my
   soul, and when I finished, the play was beautiful.  As it
   turned out, I learned a lot about myself, and I was ...
   relieved ... in a way, to let out all my thoughts and
   feelings.
     Yes, this was a turning point in my writing career.  It
   became so much more easier for me to write.  I realized
   the reason why I chose to write in the first place.  I
   had all these feelings inside me, and I felt almost
   obligated to write about it, and tell everyone about it,
   so their lives would be bettered.  I know, that's
   egotistical, but so many writers and artists have made a
   difference in my life, I thought I would make my own
   contribution.
     Someone once asked me the meaning of life.  This
   question has bewildered many wise men.  Each of them has
   delivered a version of the reason why a life has been
   placed on Earth.  Some even say it is an unanswerable
   question.  You know what I think?  Well, a life is like a
   small flame.  It struggles to burn until it runs out of
   fuel and dies.  But every little flame has a purpose, to
   shine a light.  With billions and billions of flames on
   the Earth, each little flame becomes insignificant,
   unless it burns brighter than all the rest, so that it
   will stand out when God looks at the sea of flames.  It
   is a great tragedy when a little tiny flame lights up and
   then disappears, and no-one notices.  This is each
   flame's darkest fear, and its dream is to burn brightly
   enough to be noticed.  That ... is the meaning of life.

(Pause ... fear overtakes him.  He whispers violently.)

   Come on, Smith, you said you wouldn't.

Smith: So I lied.  He must be boring you, ain't he?  "I want
   to make a difference."  Please.  What a loser.  You folks
   want some real entertainment?  Ok, so a Pimp and a lawyer
   are on a cruse, but the ship hits an iceberg and starts
   to sink.  There were only a limited number of lifeboats
   on board.  The lawyer immediately jumps in the first one.
   The Pimp says to him, "Don't you think you should let the
   women and children in first?" to which the lawyer
   replied, "Fuck the women and children." and to this the
   Pimp said, "Do you think we'll have time?"  (pause)  Ok,
   another one, I once had this girlfriend who was so
   stupid, I shone a flashlight in her ear and her eyes
   twinkled.  If she had two brain cells I'd think she was
   pregnant.  But her hooters, hooey!  Incredible!

Writer:  Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry.  That was
   uncalled for.  Please, stay in your seats, we will now
   start the play.


Scene 3

(A small group of people are gathered around a fresh grave.)

Minister:  Many people knew Albert as a quiet man.  One
   could hear him only when he played his saxophone, and
   that he did so well, that people have called him "the
   Saxman."  Although he never played in front of people,
   one could walk by his room or under his window, and hear
   his beautiful music.  Now that music is gone from our
   ears, but we can still hear it in our hearts.  Would
   anyone else like to say anything?

Ronald:  Albert was my partner at work.  He was the best
   damn worker in the company, always getting me out of a
   jam when I needed it.  He always knew what to do.  But
   above all that, he was my friend.  One of the few people
   left in this world with a heart of gold.

Edna:  I'm Edna, and this is my husband, Tony.  We were his
   landlords.  He lived in the apartment above us.  Albert
   was a quiet man.  He always paid his rent on time.  Even
   though he didn't have to, he would help out with the
   yardwork when Tony couldn't do it.  It's all so sad.
   Just when he got engaged to Lucy.  I guess Lucy just
   couldn't stand the thought of looking at his grave.  Poor
   girl.  We will miss him.

(A few feet away from the crowd, Albert sits on a gravestone
   carrying a saxophone.  He is invisible to the crowd.  The
   Man-in-suit approaches him.)

Man-In-Suit: Hello, Albert.

Albert:  You can see me?

Man-In-Suit: Yes, I am a spirit, just like you.

Albert: Then you have come to take me to heaven?

Man-In-Suit:  No, there is no such thing as heaven, or hell.
   Just a place where dead people go.

Albert:  And you will take me there?

Man-In-Suit:  Not yet.  We still have standards, and those
   who are unworthy are reborn into this world.  You, sir,
   have been reborn forty eight times, and this is your
   forty ninth time taking the test.  Yes, to get in, you
   must pass a test.  If you fail, you will return to this
   world to try again.

(The small crowd leaves.)

Albert:  I've always wondered what it would be like to
   attend my own funeral.  To see what everyone thinks of
   me, if anyone would remember me.

Man-In-Suit:  Was it as you expected?

Albert:  I guess so.  I never really knew anyone that well
   in my life, except for one person.

Man-In-Suit:  Lucy?

Albert:  Yes, Lucy, but she didn't even come to the funeral.

(Enter Lucy.  She stands beside the grave.)

Lucy:  Sorry I couldn't make it to the funeral, Albert.  I
   just don't think I could keep myself together in front of
   all those people.

(Tears form around her eyes as she hurriedly takes a tissue
   from her bag.)

   I'll always love you.

Albert:  I'll always love you too, Lucy.  (To Man-In-Suit:)
   What is that test I have to pass?

Man-In-Suit:  I can't tell you.  You'll know when it's all
   over.  All I can say is that it is a test of love.

Albert: My love for Lucy?

Man-In-Suit: You will know when it is over.(Exit)

(Albert plays his saxophone.  Lucy coughs.)

Lucy:  I'll always miss you.  The sound of your sax will
   always be in my heart.


Scene 4

Adie:  Hi there folks!  It's me again.  You must've heard it
   on the news.  A girl was walking home from college one
   night, and someone cut her up.  And I mean, he cut her
   up.  They said he cut off all her fingers and toes and
   all her hair and he made a necklace out of it.  Then he
   cut out her heart and ate it.  The caught the guy.  My
   mommy said he's going to the looney bin.

(Enter Martha)

Martha: Adie, are you telling stories again?

Adie: No mom, it's all true.  It was on the news.

Martha:  Hush now, Adie.  (To audience:)  Good evening, my
   name is Martha Smith, and this here naughty boy is Adie
   Smith.  We live in a small town called Holden in New
   Jersey.  My husband works there in the elevator factory.
   We don't make much, but we're happy.  Adie here is a
   quiet boy, some would say he's shy, but I prefer to call
   him timid.  Isn't that right, Adie?

Adie:  Mom, who are you talking to?

Martha:  Well, to the nice people.

Adie:  Who?

Martha: Never mind.  I have something for you.  I bet you
   think I forgot your birthday, didn't you Adie?  It took
   me a while to save up for this, but I knew you wanted
   one, so here.

Adie:  What is it?  (opening the case)  Oh, Mommy, it's a
   saxophone.  Thank you! (hug)

Martha:  I even got a book so you can teach yourself.  Just
   don't play it when your father's home.  Those things
   usually cost a thousand dollars, but the old man at the
   store sold it to me for a hundred.

Adie:  It's beautiful.  (takes it out and assembles it)

Martha:  Now that's not just any ordinary saxophone.  Oh no,
   I wouldn't get just any saxophone for my Adie.  The man
   said it had magical powers.

Adie:  Magical powers?  What does it do?

Martha:  Well, when you play it right, it touches people's
   hearts and makes them kind and loving.

Adie:  Really?

Martha:  Yes, and when you play it, it will take you to
   worlds that you've never imagined.  Worlds like you've
   never seen.  Where you'll be happy and everything will be
   beautiful.

Adie:  Really?  Oh, Mommy, you're just making that up.
   (plays a simple tune)  Hey, did you see that?  I can play
   already!

Martha:  Of course,  I told you it was magical.  Now I have
   to go do the dishes.  Adie, you should be in bed.(exit)

Adie:  Ok, Mommy, I love you.

(Two orderlies enter with a medicine tray.)

Adie: Uh-oh, I know what they're here for.  I'm going.  Bye
   people.

(Adam emerges.  The orderlies give Adam his shots.)


Scene 5

(Two chairs are positioned center stage.  The counselor
   enters.  Adam is already in his seat.)

Counselor:  Hello Adam, how are you doing today?

Adam:  Fine

Counselor:  Do you remember what we did in our last session?

Adam:  Yes.

Counselor:  Very good.  Now, tell me what you have?

Adam:  I have a multiple personality disorder.

Counselor:  Very good.  And?

Adam:  I have three other personalities living within me.

Counselor:  Very good.  And why are you here?

Adam:  So I can take control over my mind and so I can be
   cured.

Counselor:  Very good Adam.  You're pretty smart.  Ok, right
   now, I need to learn more about the other personalities
   so I can learn why they emerged.  May I speak to Adie?

Adam:  Ok, but I think he's afraid to come out.  He doesn't
   like doctors.

Counselor:  That's ok.  I'm not really a doctor, at least
   not the kind that gives shots.  It's ok, there's nothing
   for him to be afraid of.  Would you tell him that?


Adam: Ok.

Counselor:  Hello, Adie, don't be afraid.

Adie:  Ok.  As long as you don't give me any shots.

Counselor:  No, I won't give you any shots.  I just want to
   get to know you, to be your friend.

Adie:  Ok.

Counselor:  Tell me about yourself.  How old are you?

Adie:  I'm nine.  I'm in the third grade.

Counselor:  Really?

Adie:  I'm the smartest one in class, but sometimes Dana,
   sometimes she gets better grades than me.

Counselor:  That's very interesting.  What do you like to
   study in school?

Adie:  I like Math a lot, but I like English too, because we
   read a lot.

Counselor:  Is that so?

Adie:  Yeah, and my favorite book is A Catcher in the Rye.

Counselor:  Wow, you've read that?  Isn't that book a bit
   hard for the third grade?

Adie:  That's what my teacher said, but I'm a smart guy.

Counselor:  I'm sure you are.

Adie:  A very smart guy.

Counselor:  Yes, I'm sure you are.  Did you have a lot of
   friends in school?

Adie:  No, they don't like me.

Counselor:  Why not?

Adie:  I'm not good in sports.  Everyone thinks I'm a fag
   because I'm no good in sports.

Counselor:  What's a fag?

Adie:  It's a boy who acts like a girl.

Counselor: Of course.  And how did you feel about that?

Adie:  I just stay away from them now.

Counselor:  That's too bad.  Who do you talk to then?

Adie:  Mostly my Mommy.

Counselor:  Really?  Does your Mommy love you?

Adie:  Of course she does.  Except until she died.

Counselor:  When did she die?

Adie:  Last year.  The policeman said it was suicide.  She
   cut her wrists in the bathtub they said.

Counselor:  That's terrible.

Adie:  Yeah, I cried for a long time.  But now I've got no-
   one to talk to.  I don't think she loved me anymore,
   that's why she did it.  (begins to cry.  Smith emerges.)

Smith:  Pathetic.  Simply pathetic.  Hello Doc.

Counselor:  Hello Smith.

Smith:  What'sup Doc?

Counselor:  How are you doing?

Smith: I'm good.  I just can't believe how pathetic my
   roomies are.  If I could boot them out I would, but
   unfortunately I can't.

Counselor:  What do you want to talk about today?

Smith:  What do you want to talk about?

Counselor:  I hear you're quite a comic.

Smith:  Yes, well, acting is my life.

Counselor:  You're an actor too?

Smith:  Of course, all comedians are, by definition, actors.

Counselor:  A very good one, I'll bet.

Smith:  Of course!  One of the best.

Counselor:  I see.

Smith:  You don't believe me.

Counselor:  Of course I do.  Why wouldn't I believe you?

Smith:  Don't humor me!  Here I'll show you.

(Smith gets up to center stage.)

Counselor:  What are you doing?

Smith:  I'm waiting in the subway ... at night ... in
   Harlem.

Counselor:  What?

(He is suddenly shushed by Smith.  A large tough looking guy
   comes up to him)

Thug:  I like your watch ... Can I have it?

Smith: No!

Thug:  Who asked you?  Give me your watch and all your
   money, NOW, asshole!

Smith:  Excuse me!  You want my money?  What do I look like
   to you, John D. Rockefeller?  Here, (throws a scrap of
   paper at him.) here's a twenty.  You want more?  Here's a
   hundred, (throws all kinds of scraps at him)  Oh what the
   heck, here's a million!  Fucking maggot!

Thug:  Who you calling a maggot, motherfucker?

Smith:  I'm calling you a maggot.  What are you fucking
   going to do about it?

Thug:  I'm gonna fuck you up!

Smith:  Oh yeah!  Everyone's been fucking me up all my life!
   Come on, you wanna get hurt?  Come over here and fuck me
   up!

Thug:  You're dead man!  (pulls out a knife)

Smith:  Ooh, I'm scared!  You picked the wrong guy asshole!
   I don't fucking care if I die!  But if I do, you're
   coming with me.  Look at me, do I look like a normal guy
   to you?  I'm insane!  I've already killed and I'm going
   to do it again.  Do you wanna be here when I do it?

(A pause as the two stare each other down.  Smith breaks the
   silence.)

(In a softer but sinister and mocking tone:)  Lucy... Where
   are you Lucy? ...  Come to Papa Lucy.


Thug:  Fuck man, I'm outta heah.(exit)

Smith: (turns to Counselor)  That, sir, is how to act.

Counselor:  (Clapping) Bravo.  Very good Smith.

Smith:  Yes.  I am.

Counselor:  Is it true what you say?  That people have been
   fucking you all your life?

Smith:  Ooh, such language, Doc.  Yes, it's true.

Counselor:  Everyone?

Smith:  Yes, everyone.  My mother, my father, everyone I've
   ever encountered... everyone.

Counselor:  Even Lucy?

Smith:  (Sudden anger:)  Don't talk to me about Lucy.  Yes,
   especially her.

Counselor:  My, you sure are mad at her.

Smith:  I said I don't want to fucking talk about her.

Counselor:  Ok! Ok!  Isn't there anyone in the world that
   you don't hate?

Smith:  No, there isn't.

Counselor:  It must be pretty lonely.

Smith:  Yeah, well, I get my kicks.

(The Saxman emerges.  He takes out a saxophone.)

Counselor:  Smith?

Saxman:  No, you must have the wrong guy.

Counselor:  I'm sorry.  You're new here.

Saxman:  Yes.  My name is Albert, how do you do?

Counselor:  Very fine, thank you.  Albert, the Saxman?

Saxman:  Yes, that is what most people call me.  If you'll
   excuse me, I have a show to do.  (To audience:)  Good
   evening ladies and gentlemen.  I'm so glad you all came
   here tonight.  Get ready for a night of music, love, and
   pure heaven.  My name is Albert, most people call me the
   Saxman.  So, just sit back and relax with your friends or
   loved one, and let the music take you away.

(An invisible band plays accompaniment as the Saxman plays.
   The counselor fades into darkness.)


                         End of Act I










ACT II


Scene 1

(The lights go on to reveal a reporter.  She is sitting on
   one of three chairs positioned center stage.)

Reporter:  Good evening and welcome to "American Heroes."
   I'm Mary Washington.  Tonight we will focus on a writer
   who left too soon.  Adam Smith, born and raised in
   Holden, New Jersey, was one of our most promising
   writers.  During his freshman year in Holden Community
   College, he wrote one of America's most beloved plays,
   "The Saxman".  This was to be his first and only work.
   Two months before he was to receive the Pulitzer Prize,
   he was admitted to Holden Hospital, suffering from a
   congenital heart murmur.  Three days later, Adam Smith
   passed away.  He did not even get to see the production
   of his play on Broadway.  Tonight we will examine the
   events in his life that inspired him to write such a
   beautiful play.  Please welcome two people from his past
   who knew the real Adam Smith: Lucille Parker and Mark
   Sullivan.

(Enter Young Woman and Teacher.)

Woman:  I had several classes with him in high school.  He
   was always quiet, always keeping to himself.  A few
   people have tried to reach out to him, but he wouldn't
   let anyone in.  But he had this aura about him.  He was a
   very respected person.  Many of us looked up to him.
   Looking back, I wish I could've gotten to know him
   better.

Teacher:  Adam was in my English class.  In my twenty years
   of teaching, I never had a student with Adam's ability.
   He wrote beautifully.  You could just tell he was going
   to become famous someday.  Adam had this ability to
   observe his environment.  He knew a lot about people and
   how they behave.  And just by spending some time with
   him, you will be astounded by his inherent knowledge and
   intelligence.  I had high hopes for him when he
   graduated, and he did not let me down.

Woman:  When a friend called me and told me that Adam had
   died, I was devastated.  I guess I didn't realize how
   much I looked up to him and how much I respected him.  I
   didn't even know him that well.  It was a year since I
   last saw him, but when I learned that he died, it was
   almost as if someone close to me died.  You don't realize
   how close you are to him, how much you love him.  My
   friends too, even some of the guys I know, felt the same
   way.  He just has that effect on people.



Scene 2

(Enter Writer)

Writer:  Good evening once again, Ladies and Gentlemen.  We
   hope you have enjoyed the first act of the play.  I sort
   of messed up my introduction to the first act, but I
   wanted to add something.  I want to tell you about how I
   got the inspiration for "The Saxman".  It goes way back
   when I was still in College.  I had to take the train to
   and from school, and I had to switch trains in Elizabeth
   Station.  One night, as I was going home, I got off the
   Elizabeth Station and I heard a beautiful sound.  There
   was a man -- I don't know if he was peddling or simply
   playing -- he was playing the saxophone.  I play the
   saxophone myself, but I was entranced by the sheer beauty
   of his music.  I've never heard music so wonderful, not
   even from the professional sax musicians.  I wanted to
   speak to him, but I was afraid to.  My train came and I
   had to leave.  I never saw him again, but just seeing him
   there, in the empty railroad station, playing in the dim
   yellow light of the alley, I'll never forget it.
   Actually, I wrote a play about it.  Ladies and gentlemen,
   we present Act II of "The Saxman".



Scene 3

(The entrance to an apartment building.  Lucy is alone by
   herself.  Edna enters.)

Edna:  Lucy?  What are you doing out there in the cold?
   Lucy?  Are you all right?

Lucy:  Good morning Edna.  I couldn't sleep.  I thought I'd
   come out and breathe the morning air and see the sun
   rise.

Edna:  Ah, the world is so beautiful in the morning.  No
   matter what mood I'm in, the sun rising over the horizon,
   the light slowly replacing the nighttime darkness, always
   uplifts my soul.  Lucy!, you're white as a ghost! Are you
   all right, dear?

Lucy:  I'm okay Edna, I guess I just haven't had enough
   sleep lately.  Not since Albert died.  I could still hear
   his music.  It kept playing again and again in my mind,
   as if it was calling to me.

Edna: You've got to get over him Lucy. Look at you, Albert
   would never approve of you treating yourself this way.
   We all miss him.  To tell you the truth, I still hear his
   music too.  But we can't go on like this, we have to move
   on.  (Enter Ronald) Well, look here, it's Ronald.

Ronald:  Hello Edna.  Hello Lucy.  I just came to collect
   the rest of Albert's things.

(Ronald stares at Lucy, but when she looks at him, he
   instantly, by impulse, looks away.)

Edna:  Well, don't let's just stand here.  Let's all come
   inside for some coffee and breakfast.  Heaven knows, you
   need it, Lucy.  Come on Ronald, you can pick up Albert's
   stuff after you get some breakfast.  One strange thing
   though, I never could find that saxophone of his.

(They exit.  Enter Albert with saxophone)

Albert:  Why, of all my possessions, did the sax follow me
   even to my death?  Sure, I loved to play it more than
   anything.  I had this sax since I was twelve, when I
   would work in people's backyards to pay for it.  But if
   no-one can bring anything to his grave, why was I able to
   bring my sax?

(Enter two kids.  One more kid enters opposite of them.
   They "hi-five" and walk together off stage.)

Albert:  I remember when I was one of those people.  Now,
   I'm just a watcher.  No-one can see me.  I cannot speak
   to anyone.  No-one knows I exist anymore.  How long will
   this be?  How long before that test comes up?  I don't
   know how long I can stand being invisible to everyone.
   No-one to talk to, not being able to speak to, or touch
   anyone, and worst of all, I cannot be with Lucy.  Yet I
   am forced to watch her as she grieves for me.  Every
   night, I play to her, but what's the use?  She can't hear
   it anyway.

(Enter Lucy, Edna, Ronald.)

Edna:  My goodness!  The way you young people treat your
   bodies today!  It's a shame.  Are you sure you don't want
   any breakfast?

Ronald: (Carrying a large box) No, really, Edna, I'll be
   fine.

Edna:  Are you sure?  You just had a glass of orange juice.

Ronald:  It was a big glass.

(Lucy laughs faintly.  Albert notices and is overjoyed.)

Edna:  Oh don't give me that!  Make sure you at least get a
   bagel on your way to work!

Ronald:  Ok.  I promise.  (Turns to leave.)

(Albert looks behind him as if someone had spoken.  He looks
   at Lucy and then starts to play the saxophone.)

Edna:  Lucy!  Are you all right?  You're turning white
   again!

Lucy:  I can hear it.  I can hear his music!  It's so
   beautiful.

Edna:  You're not well Lucy.  You'd better come inside.

(Lucy is suddenly stricken with an asthma attack.)

   Oh my goodness!  Lucy! Quick! Someone call an ambulance.
   What do we do?!  She's dying!

(Lucy faints)

Ronald: (Rushes back) No, it's faster if we take my car.
   Quick!  Help me get her to my car.

Edna:  Oh my goodness!  Oh my goodness!  Lucy, please, hang
   on! Please!

(They carry Lucy offstage)

Albert: Lucy was able to hear me.  It isn't her physical
   being that hears, but her soul.  It longs to be with me
   just as I long to be with her.  This is the test that I
   must pass.  The man said that I had to pass a test of
   love.  That's why I have my sax, to use it to call upon
   Lucy's spirit to come with me, come with me to the good
   place where we'll live happily forever.  To pass the
   test, my love must be strong enough to defeat death.



Scene 4

(Enter Adie)

Adie:  Shhh!  We're playing hide and go seek.  But they'll
   never find me.  I just turned myself invisible.

(He crouches behind a chair.  Enter Boy 1 and Boy 2)

Boy 2:  So, do you like her like her, or just like her?

Boy 1:  I kinda like her like her.  She's really pretty.  I
   just hate that snotty girl she hangs around with.

Boy 2:  You mean Becky?

(Adie intentionally tips over a chair.  The two look but
   don't notice anything.  Adie walks up to Boy 1, acting
   silly, making faces behind his back, etc.  and continues
   to giggle to the audience.)

Boy 1:  Yeah, I hate her.

Boy 2:  I know.  So, you gonna ask her out to the dance?

(Adie lightly flicks Boy 1's ear.  Boy 1 waves his hand
   backwards and smacks Adie in the head.)

Boy 1:  Ow. (Clutching his hand.)

Boy 2:  What'cha do that for?

Boy 1:  It's some fly.  Made me hit the chair.  Let's go
   inside.  (The two exit.)

Adie:  Ow, that hurt.  You see that?  That was cool.  I was
   invisible and they couldn't see me.  This is a pretty
   nifty power.  Well, I gotta go.(Exit)


Scene 5

(The reporter once again.)

Reporter:  One of the greatest men in history.  A Pulitzer
   Prize Winner for Drama, a Nobel Laureate for Physics, a
   Nobel Laureate for Literature, Winner of three Academy
   Awards, one for Best Screenplay, two for Best Actor,
   four Tony Awards, one Emmy, three Grammies, bestselling
   author, multi-platinum selling singer/songwriter, Special
   Advisor to the President, holds three doctorates, two
   masters...and the Comedian of the Year.
     Tonight we will explore a side of Adam Smith that very
   few people see:  His life, his family, what made him the
   way he is, and what drove this genius to become the most
   incredible minds who ever lived.

(Lights suddenly black out.  They return on Smith alone.
   The two chairs are positioned behind him.)

Smith:  Oops.  That was getting really ridiculous.  That was
   the Writer person's doing, by the way, just in case you
   try to blame it one me.  The technical difficulty
   however, was me.  You know, between you and me, that
   guy's crazy ... What am I saying?  Duh!  Did I forget to
   tell you that I am of the male gender?
     You want me to tell you what happened in his life that
   made him the loser he is now?  I'll tell you.  Adam was
   the biggest wimp in history ... and that's the only
   superlative I agree with.  Naturally, everyone ignored
   him.  But I gotta give him this, he tries.  He tries
   everything but for the wrong reason.  You can't become
   anything great if your goal is simply to impress others.
   If you try to become a writer, you must have a love for
   it, not just so you can win some stupid award.
   Naturally, he fails in everything.  I'll leave the idiot
   to his fantasies.  As for me, I'll live in the real
   world.
     Permit me to talk metaphysically for a second.  (Man,
   I'm starting to talk like him)  We, for reasons unknown
   to us, were given something no other living thing has:
   self awareness.  We know that we are alive.  Because of
   this, we have the power of choice.  While all animals and
   plants operate under some type of programmed behavior, we
   were given the power to decide for ourselves our actions
   and behavior.  We have the power to decide what we can or
   cannot do.  But I ask you now, do we use that power?
   Look around you.  Look at the people of the world.  Tell
   me if the people decide for themselves their behavior, or
   if they just follow their programming.  Eating, working,
   sleeping, fucking, throughout their lives just like their
   programming drives them to do.  Are they really capable
   of sentient, independent thought?  Are we?

(During this speech, the Counselor takes his seat behind
   him.)

Counselor:  Are you?

Smith:  Yes, I am.

Counselor:  Am I?

Smith:  Maybe.

Counselor:  Is Lucy?

Smith:  I used to think so.

Counselor:  But not any more.

Smith:  No.  The way she spoke in class.  Her writing.  It
   seemed that she had a lot of intelligence, that she
   wasn't some zombie following orders.  I was actually
   attracted to her.

Counselor:  Wait a minute.  Lucy, was in your class?

Smith:  My creative writing class.

Counselor:  I see.  Go on.

Smith:  Then I found out who her friends were.  Who her
   boyfriend was.  You know, those bitches who think they
   are ... (Girlish:)  gasp, like so cool! and everyone is,
   like, not!

Counselor:  Must have been a big disappointment to you.

Smith:  Not me.  But Adam was pretty crapped out.

Counselor:  Oh?

Smith:  He really fell for her.  And when he's depressed, I
   get into a really shitty mood.  So I taught her a lesson.

Counselor:  And that is when you did what you did?

Smith:  What did I "did"?

Counselor:  Don't play with me.  You know what you've done.

Smith:  (Getting agitated.)  What I've done?  Do you want me
   to spell it out for you?  I killed her, that's what I've
   done.  It was raining that night.  Beautiful, cleansing
   rain.  She was going home.  She clutched those fucking
   books as if that would stop them from getting wet.  The
   bitch was smiling even.  She saw me waiting there.  She
   just kept walking.  She turned her back to me.  Not a
   very good idea.  It's not a good idea to turn your back
   to a killer.  But then again, she didn't know I was a
   fucking killer.  It's fucking amazing, isn't it?  Even
   the motherfuckers that you know and trust can be
   psychotic killers.  That's why my name is Smith, John
   Jacob Jingleheimer Smith.  I'm anyone and everyone.  His
   name is my name, is your name, anyone, everyone.  You
   turn your back to them with trust, after all, you never
   expect them to come up to you and slice your throat.  But
   that's what I did.  I came up behind her, pulled her head
   back, and shwish!  She just had time to look at my
   laughing face before she died.  It was raining, the blood
   went down the sidewalk with the fucking rain.  Then I
   took off her blouse.  She had pretty nice tits for a
   nerdy bitch.  I cut her open.  Oh, that's a wonderful
   feeling.  Applying pressure with the knife until the
   flesh finally gives way and body bursts like an orange.
   Oh, that blood.  That warm blood, turning black before
   your eyes.  I told you she was filthy, all that black
   blood.  It felt so good.  And when I opened her up, I saw
   all the guts and her liver, and her heart, and the
   spaghetti she ate for lunch.  It was all there.  I put my
   face into it.  Oh, so warm. I've forgotten how that
   feels, having a warm body touch your face.  Do you know
   how that feels?  It feels wonderful.  It feels so fucking
   wonderful!

(He goes to the back of the stage and pulls down the
   curtain, revealing the bard back stage wall.  He wraps
   the curtain around himself like a cloak.)

Counselor:  Don't you see?  That was a human life you took.

Smith:  So?

Counselor:  Doesn't that mean anything to you?  Don't you
   have a conscience?

Smith:  Not really.  A conscience is a figment of man's
   imagination so that our society doesn't self-destruct.
   But then, I'm not really part of society, am I?  No,
   human life doesn't mean anything to me.  The world won't
   end if she dies, it won't end if I die, it won't end if
   you die.  Yes, I know what you're thinking, "but she
   could have done a lot for society"...so?  Even if a
   million lives are lost because she died, so what?  What's
   a million lives compared to the billions and billions
   that have existed over time?  They die.  What's the big
   fucking deal?  They die anyway.  Every single fucking
   person on Earth will die.  It won't make any difference
   if I indulge a little and get some pleasure out of it.

Counselor:  You're insane.

Smith:  No I'm not!  I'm Donald Duck.

(Laughs maniacally, then subsides, as the writer personality
   regains control.  He takes off his "cloak")

Writer:  No, stay back.  I'm in control!  Get away from my
   mind!  Just leave me alone!  (To audience)  I'm so sorry.
   I messed up everything.  I think I better go and we'll
   continue the play.

Counselor:  Who are you talking to, Adam?

Writer:  The audience.  I'm on stage, and I'm talking to the
   audience.

Counselor:  There's no-one there Adam.

Writer:  Yes there is!  They're performing my play.  They've
   asked me to introduce it.  The people are here to see my
   play.

Counselor:  There's no-one there Adam.  There is no
   audience. You're not on stage.  You're in a cell.  In the
   State mental institution.

Writer:  No, I'm not!  I'm not!

(He goes forward and feels an imaginary wall.  He peers
   through an invisible window with bars.)

   Where's everybody?  Where'd everybody go?

(He moves to both sides of the stage and is stopped by an
   invisible wall.  He lets out a loud shriek and breaks
   down on the floor.  He takes the curtain and wraps it
   around himself like a blanket.)


   I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to do it.  It was him, John
   Jacob Jingleheimer Smith.  He did it.  It wasn't me.  He
   killed Lucy.  I'm so sorry Lucy.  I guess you can't hear
   me now.  I'm so sorry.  I wish it would rain.  So that
   I'll be clean again.  I'm so filthy.
     That wasn't how it was supposed to happen.  You weren't
   supposed to kill her.  You messed it all up.

Smith:  Fuck you.  I'm getting pissed with all your stupid
   fantasies.

Writer:  Shut up!  They're not fantasies.  They're dreams.
   I just want to give Adam something to believe in, and
   it's much more than what you've done to him.

Smith:  You asshole.  You're giving Adam fantasies that
   cannot fucking come true, making him more depressed than
   he already is when you fail.  Adam needs reality.  He
   needs to live in the real world and not some fantasy.

Adie:  Please.  Please stop.

Writer:  Shut up, Adie.  And so you make him commit a crime
   and land him here.  Is this what he needs?  Is this
   reality for you?

Smith:  Look here, you prick.  I don't give a fuck about
   Adam.  I killed the bitch because she asked for it.

Adie:  Please.  Stop it!  Stop it!  Adam, where are you?
   You have to stop this!

Smith:  Adam's dead!  He was dead from the day he was born.

Adie:  Stop it Smith!  Stop it!  Adam, where are you!

(Silence)

Saxman: (To Counselor)  Who's Adam?

Counselor:  Adam is the owner of that body.

Saxman:  I see.  (Pause)  If you'll excuse me, I have to go.

Counselor:  I'll see you later. (Exit)

(The Saxman sits in a corner as the stage brightens and a
   backdrop of a peaceful natural scene comes down.  He
   plays.
Curtain.)

                       End of Act II



Act III

Scene 1

(The Principal is at a podium.  A flag stands beside him.
   Dignitaries sit behind him.)

Principal:  Parents, teachers, staff, before we award the
   diplomas for the Class of 1993, I would like to introduce
   this year's valedictorian,  Adam Smith.

(Applause.  Adam goes up to the podium.  The Principal gives
   him a medal and shakes his hand.  The Principal steps
   back and Adam gives his speech.)

Adam:  In the words of Shakespeare, "Some are born great,
   some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust
   upon them."
     What is "Greatness"?  What qualities must one possess
   in order to be great?
     I know a man.  A powerful and wealthy man.  He crushes
   the weak with the scribble of a pen or with a harsh
   order.  People fear him.  He is alone.  He has no family.
   The only friends are those who crave his power.  Is this
   greatness?
     I know a man.  A humble carpenter.  He has a good wife
   and two children.  He lives in a shack.  He makes just
   enough money to pay his bills and buy food.  He is a
   respected man.  People look up to him and ask for his
   advice.  When someone needs help, he is the first one to
   step forward.  Is this greatness?
     My fellow students, look around you.  Look at the faces
   that made you laugh, cry, frown.  Look at the familiar
   faces of our youth.  The faces that you see everyday in
   the halls of Holden High School.  Remember these faces
   for this may be the last time you will see them.  Know
   that it may be the last time we will be together.
     To our administrators, teachers, parents:  You have
   devoted your lives to bring us happiness and prosperity.
   I assure you that you will see the fruits of your labor
   shining brightly across the Earth.  You will hear of our
   accomplishments and will witness the greatness you have
   helped us achieve.
     To my fellow graduates.  Remember the long hallways,
   walking from house to house, sitting through our classes,
   and endless nights buried in homework.  Remember our
   friendships, our loves, our fights and our good times.
   Remember the games, the championships, and the
   performances which showed other schools the excellence of
   Holden High.  Remember these accomplishments and you will
   remember the greatness you have achieved.
     As we leave good old Holden High and embark onto the
   rest of our lives, always strive for greatness.  If you
   are not born with it, and if it is not thrust onto you,
   then it is up to you to claim that greatness that you
   deserve.  Know that you are capable of many great things.
     As we go our different ways, Class of 1993, strive...
   seek... find... and conquer.  God bless us all!

(Applause.  The dignitaries and the Principal exit.  They
   leave two chairs center stage for the next scene)



Scene 2

(Adie enters singing to himself.)

Adie:  John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith
       His name is my name too.
       Whenever he's about, the people always shout
       There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith,
       Da da da da da da da...

     You know, I know this ghost story.  It was in this
   college campus.  People saw a guy carrying a saxophone
   case walking across the campus, but he didn't look like a
   ghost or nothing, so no-one really noticed anything.  But
   one day, there was some girl on rollerblades and she was
   out of control and she ran right into him, and she
   thought she'd crash, but she went right through him.
   With everybody looking, he disappeared, right before
   their eyes, and that's when they knew he was a ghost.
   And then one of the Dean's said that he was the saxophone
   man and he died in an elevator accident.  Isn't that
   cool?  Ok, bye.

(Exit)



Scene 3

(The Counselor enters.  Adam takes his seat.)

Counselor:  Adam, is that you?

Adam:  Yes.

Counselor:  Where's Adie, or Smith, or the Writer?

Adam:  They're back there somewhere, busy doing their own
   thing.  Taking for themselves parts of my mind.

Counselor:  Aren't you going to stop them?

Adam:  Why would I do that?

Counselor:  Well, they're eating away at your own
   personality.  Pretty soon, you'll disappear, and they'll
   take over.

Adam:  That's ok.

Counselor:  Don't you care?

Adam:  No.

Counselor:  Well then in that case, tell me a little about
   the other guys.  You know, you have a pretty unusual
   case.  In most multiple personality cases, each of the
   personalities don't have any knowledge or memory of the
   other personalities.  You, however, can retain a lot of
   their memories and actions.  You know about them.

Adam:  Well, Adie first appeared when I was nine when my
   mother committed suicide.  No-one noticed because I was a
   child and he was a child.  I didn't notice either, but
   then as I grew older, he didn't.  I tried to suppress
   him, but he just showed up from time to time.  Back then,
   I thought it was just me trying to have a little fun.
   After all, everyone has some degree of split
   personalities.  We have different personalities with our
   co-workers, our family, our friends.  As with Adie, the
   split became more severe.  I lost complete control over
   him, to the point where I didn't even know he had taken
   over.  I'd just come to my senses one minute and someone
   would tell me what I had done.

Counselor:  I see.  That's typical of multiple
   personalities.  But sooner or later, you were able to
   remember the things he did.

Adam:  Yes, I did.  Somewhere around the middle of my high
   school years, when I started writing, the Writer started
   to appear.  He didn't like how I filled my stories with
   pain and reality.  He took over and created these
   fantastic, romantic stories.  They were pretty good, but
   he strayed too far from reality.  It took a while for me
   to discover him, but sometimes I would sit down to write
   and the next thing I know, I've written ten, fifteen
   pages.  I guess he took my desire to achieve, because he
   dreamt of impossible dreams.  He wanted to become a
   famous writer, a superstar actor, a hit musician, and
   everything else he could think of.  And he believed that
   they had already come true.  He believed that he's
   already so famous that I gave in and believed it too.
   There's a line from Counting Crows, "When everybody loves
   me, I will never be lonely... When everybody loves me,
   I'm gonna be just about as happy as I can be."  That's
   how I felt, and if I was famous in my dreams, I wouldn't
   feel the loneliness of my alienation from society.
   However, it only concealed the loneliness.  The
   loneliness was still there, and it ate away at my heart
   even more.  That's when Smith appeared.
     He first appeared after someone walked into me, dropped
   all my books, and screamed at me for not watching where I
   was going.  But I know he was in my mind long before
   that.  He was vulgar and rude, and he hated the world,
   but he was confident and strong, and he apparently had no
   problem interacting with people, so I admired him, and I
   let him grow stronger.

Smith:  Anybody call?

Counselor:  Hello Smith.

Smith:  Hello, Dorkface.

Counselor:  I was talking to Adam.  May I speak to him?

Smith:  Talking about me behind my back, huh?  Fuck you.

Counselor:  Please Smith.  I want to talk to Adam.

Smith:  Like I said, fuck you.

Counselor:  Smith, don't be difficult.

Smith:  Fuck you, you can't tell me what to do, you faggot
   motherfucker.

Counselor:  Ok, that's it, you get out and let me talk to
   Adam, or I'll have to send you to shock treatment again.

Smith:  All right, all right!  Sheesh, just playing.

Counselor:  Adam?

Adam:  Yes.

Counselor: You were saying?

Adam:  What was I saying?

Counselor:  You were telling me about the personalities.

Adam:  I was?

Counselor:  Yes, you were.  Tell me something about the
   Saxman.

Adam:  I don't know much about him.  He only appeared when I
   came in here.

Counselor:  Ah, so he's new?

Adam:  I guess.

Counselor:  What part of your personality do you think he
   represents?

Adam:  I don't know.  Maybe happiness.  When he appears, I
   leave this place, and I go to a heaven, to a beautiful
   place, and there, I'm happy.

Counselor:  It sounds like each of your personalities made
   you happy at some point, but what they ended up doing was
   make your situation worse.  I need to know more about
   your life.  Don't be afraid if it becomes personal.  I'm
   here to help you.

Adam:  You probably know this already, Sigmund Freud said
   that most people's psychological problems are due to
   their experiences as a child.  It's true for me.  You
   see, I grew up in a small community.  There were few boys
   my age, so I really had no choice who to be friends with.
   I was very bad athletically and in an uneducated town
   like that, it made me a nobody.  Do you know what that
   does to a child?  I was ignored.  The other boys never
   let me play with them and when I did I was constantly put
   down and made worthless.  Like a tag-along.  The adults
   were no better, and my parents had no idea what I was
   going through.  I was ignored.  I was the kind or person
   that can be left behind on a family trip.  As a result, I
   needed, craved, to be seen; for people to recognize my
   existence.  I guess that's why I am an overachiever.  I
   needed to prove to the others that I wasn't a nobody, to
   be better than them.  It became an obsession.  Every
   waking thought, every single movement, was done for the
   purpose of impressing others.  But no matter how hard I
   tried, after all the things I did, I was still ignored,
   but it only made me try harder.
     It was only recently that I realized this.  My fear of
   being rejected prevented me from revealing anything about
   myself to others even after I had left Holden.  I became
   so afraid of revealing myself that I came across as not
   having a self.  I couldn't get close enough to anyone to
   be a true friend rather than just a mere acquaintance.
     I soon convinced myself that I was destined to live as
   a loner.  After all, I didn't need people pulling me
   down.  All great and famous people were alone.  I was
   determined to become a great person and prove to those
   people who rejected me before that I am a much greater
   person than they could ever be.
     I was kidding myself.  I was lonely.  I told myself
   time and time again that I could live by myself, like
   Robinson Crusoe, but I knew that I was wrong.  I did need
   people.  I did need friends.  I did need someone to talk
   to, and someone with whom I can be close to.  It doesn't
   matter who, no-one can live alone and be happy.
     You know, there was a time when I took up painting back
   when I was still in Holden.  I wasn't that good but I
   don't think I was that bad.  There was a professional
   painter in town, and I wanted to impress him.  Every time
   I saw him, I gave him hints that I took up painting.
   When he visited the house, I would even put a few
   paintings in plain view so he could see them.  Then one
   day he brought in a painting by one of the Bower boys
   down the block.  It was horrible.  Something a five year
   old would do, but he said that the boy had talent.  Talk
   about encouragement.  That's how I grew up.  I would kill
   myself trying to get one ounce of recognition or praise
   and the other kids were made kings and queens for doing
   nothing.  Do you know what that did to me?
     I was too young to realize it then.  I never really
   asked myself why I was killing myself just to "show-off".
   It's only now that I realize why I've been like this, why
   I've been so depressed for the last twenty years, why I
   find it so hard to have any friends.  And now that I
   know, what now?  What do I do about it?  Should I fight
   it and try to change twenty years worth of psychological
   damage, or should I use it to my benefit, continue to
   live my life the way I always have, continuing to improve
   myself while the sadness rots my insides?  What am I
   saying?  It already has damaged me more than I or anybody
   can fix.

Counselor:  We can fix it, Adam.  It will take time, but we
   can fix it.  I doubt the trauma that caused your split
   personality was caused by just that.  I mean, there was
   also your mother's suicide.

Adam:  My mother didn't commit suicide.  Adie made that up.

Counselor:  Then how did she die?

Adam:  She's not dead.  She's living with her mother.  She
   left my father when I was 18.  I haven't seen her since.
   I don't know, I guess Adie feels he has to evoke pity
   from others.

Counselor:  To get some recognition.

Adam:  Yes.

Counselor:  What about the thing the Writer said about the
   meaning of life, and about the little flames?

Adam:  Everyone has a need to be recognized.  Most may not
   feel it because they have never been deprived of it.  But
   you can see that most actions, ambitions, motivations,
   are driven by the need of recognition.  Why are you
   treating me?  Obviously, it has something to do with
   getting respect from your colleagues, or maybe you plan
   to write an article in a journal on me.  If you look at
   people who behave unusually, or erratically, or
   obnoxiously, or just weird, and people wonder why they
   act that way, it's because they feel a lack of
   recognition.  This type of deprivation motivation works
   deep in the consciousness.  They themselves probably
   don't know about it.

Counselor:  That's an interesting perspective.

Adam:  When you're forced to keep yourself away from society
   and observe it from a distance, you get to see things
   that normal people don't.  (Pause)  What do I do about my
   illness?

Counselor:  We'll work together.  There are cures for your
   type of case.  We'll get rid of those devils.

Adam:  These people are segments of my personality.  If I
   get rid of them, what will be left of me?

Counselor:  We'll just have to see.

Adam:  There's a parable in the New Testament that if a
   demon leaves a person's heart, he will come back and see
   it clean and orderly, and he will invite nine other
   friends and they will live in that person's heart and the
   person will be worse than he was before.

Counselor:  Don't worry Adam.  We can cure you.



Scene 4

(Lucy is lying unconscious on a hospital bed.  Ronald is
   sitting beside her.  A machine beeps her pulse.  Albert
   is standing invisible in a corner.)

Ronald:  Lucy, I don't know if you can hear me.  I want you
   to know that I always cared for you, I just never had the
   courage to tell you.  Whatever happens, I want you to
   know that.

Albert:  This is it, Lucy.  If I play now, your spirit will
   leave your body forever and come with me.

(He begins to play.  Lucy rises from the bed.  Ronald
   doesn't see her.  She moves to Albert.)

Lucy: Albert, is that you?

Albert:  Yes, Lucy, it is.  I love you, Lucy.  I cannot
   leave this world knowing that the woman I love is gone
   from me.  I have called you, Lucy, to be with me when I
   go into that good place.  Will you go with me?

Lucy:  Yes, I will go with you.

Albert:  Then take my hand, and we will go together.

(The machine that beeps her pulse suddenly emits a
   continuous, deafening pulse.)

Ronald:  "NO!...NO!  Lucy, please!, don't leave us!  Nurse!
   Please, come quick!  She's dying!

(Doctors and Nurses enter to try to save her.)

Lucy:  I will go with you.

(Lucy reaches out her hand.  Albert reaches out and then
   pulls back in grief.)

Albert:  Lucy, what am I doing?  I am asking you to give up
   your life so that I may be happy.  No Lucy, I can't do
   it!  Go back!  Live your life!  You have a beautiful life
   ahead of you, and I am so ashamed for even thinking that
   I should take that away from you.

Lucy:  But without me, you will fail the test.

Albert:  I don't care.  If it means taking you away, then
   I'd rather remain here on this earth.

(Ronald realizes that they are there.  Albert turns his
   attention to him.)

Albert:  Take care of her Ronald.  Make sure that she is
   happy.  Lucy, I want you to know that I will always love
   you, and when you are at your darkest hour, take comfort
   in the fact that I will be watching over you.  Goodbye
   Lucy.

(The Saxman pulls back into the darkness.  Lucy returns to
   the bed.  The Doctors and Nurses have given up, but the
   machines starts to beep again.  Lucy wakes up and hugs
   Ronald.)


Scene 5

(Two chairs once again.  The Counselor is sitting with
   Adam.)

Smith:  (To Writer, Saxman:)  You're a fool.  (To
   Counselor:)  Do you see what he's doing?  He's trying to
   convince himself that it never happened.  What an idiot!

Counselor:  Well, it was a pretty traumatic experience.  Any
   normal person would want to block it out.  After all, he
   just killed a woman... brutally, and it was against his
   will.  His own hands driven to do unspeakable acts while
   he could only look on helplessly.  His own hands driven
   by you.

Smith:  Look here, Doc.  I have no fucking regrets for what
   I did to Lucy.  And I really don't give a shit about what
   the other guys think, or feel.  In fact, we're waging a
   war right now.  For control, complete control of this
   mind and body.  And you know what?  I'm winning.  Adam
   has been such a wimp.  He's making a complete waste of
   this body.

Counselor:  But you forget, you're part of Adam too.

Smith:  Well, I want my independence.

Counselor:  And when you have control, you can do anything
   you want.  You can kill again, and you'll have no remorse
   at all because that part of you died with Adam.

Smith:  Exactly.

Adie:  No, Doctor, please, don't let him do this, he's a bad
   man!

Smith:  Shut up, Adie.

Adie:  We won't let you.  Adam will stop you.  He will!

Smith:  Adam wants me to win.  You never gave him anything,
   Adie.  You let him down.  And you too, Writer.  You
   pretended to make him happy outside while he was rotting
   inside.  As for me, I'll let him become all that he has
   ever wanted.  He'll no longer be such a wimp, he'll never
   be afraid to talk to people.  He'll never be the yellow
   livered prick that he was before.

Counselor:  That sounds like a great deal.  Except you'll be
   here, in a cell.  You won't be speaking to anyone else
   except me.

Smith:  And Nurse Nancy.

Counselor:  She's not allowed to speak to you.

Smith:  I know.  Nice butt though.  Wouldn't mind having a
   little... heh heh, you know.

Counselor:  I doubt that's possible.

Smith:  I'll find a way.  You underestimate my intelligence.
   You don't think I'm willing to spend the rest of my life
   in here, in this cell, do you?  I'm getting bored.  Gotta
   go.  Making plans you know.  I'll let you fuck around
   with the others for a while.  That's what you like to do,
   isn't it?
(Pause)

Adam:  It's true, isn't it?  About Lucy.  That's not just my
   imagination?

Counselor:  I'm afraid so, Adam.

Adam:  So I was sentenced to life in here.

Counselor:  No, only till you're cured.

Adam:  When will that be?

Counselor:  Soon.  It might be a few weeks, a few months, a
   few years, but we can cure you.  Many methods have been
   devised to cure people with multiple personality
   disorders.

Adam:  Why haven't we started?

Counselor:  We have.  What do you think we're doing now?

Adam:  There isn't much hope for me being cured.  I can see
   it in your face.

Counselor:  That's not true Adam.  We can cure you.

Adam:  No, it's too late.(Pause)

Adie:  No, please, why are you doing this?  Help me doctor,
   he's hurting me!  (Counselor does nothing but watch.)
   Please Smith.  What did I ever do to you?

Smith:  Are you enjoying this Doc?  Say goodbye Adie.

Adie:  No, please.  Ow, it hurts.  My head, it hurts.
   (Screams, and then falls to the floor.)

Smith:  One down, two to go.

Counselor:  Orderlies!  We need 30 cc's here now!

Smith:  Oh no, Doc.  You can't stop me now.  You know,
   there's nothing as exhilarating as murder, but only if
   you do it with your bare hands.

(He lunges at the Counselor.  It is a few seconds before two
   orderlies pry him off.)

   You can't stop me you know.  What are you gonna do?  Put
   me in jail?  Put me in a mental institution?

(He laughs maniacally.  He continues to struggle with the
   orderlies and two more come in to restrain him.  A fifth
   orderly gives him the tranquilizer shot.)

   You can't put me to sleep forever!  I'll wake up someday
   and I'll finish the job!

(He continues to laugh and struggle until the tranquilizer
   takes effect.  The orderlies leave him lying on the floor
   and help the Counselor off the stage.  When all is quiet,
   Adam wakes up.)

Adam:  Was it too much to ask to be happy?  I just wanted to
   be happy.  Just one time in my life when I wouldn't feel
   this pain in my heart.  It's too late now.  There is only
   one more way I can be happy.  I'm sorry Adie, Writer,
   even you Smith.  We're going to have to leave.

(Adam takes out an invisible knife.  He raises it into the
   air and plunges it into his heart.  Blood soaks his white
   shirt.)

Smith:  I didn't think you'd have the guts, Adam.  Bravo.

(All expression and personality leaves Adam.  He remains
   there, kneeling.)

(Enter Counselor.  He realizes what Adam has done.)

Counselor: Just so you know, Adam, it wasn't too late.
   (Exit)

(Enter Man-In-Suit with Saxophone.  He gives it to Adam.)

Man-In-Suit:  Congratulations, Saxman, you passed the test.

Albert:  I know.  I just never thought that it would be so
   painful.

Man-In-Suit:  Everything has a price, Adam.  Everything.
   But you've earned it.  You can now enter the good place.

(Adam sits in silence as the Man-In-Suit exits.  He stands
   up and begins to play.  The stage brightens and
   transforms into the "Good place", a beautiful, peaceful,
   wondrous scene.  Adam continues to play as he disappears
   into his own world.)

                       End of Act III