Two Obsessed by Joe M. Turner Copyright 1993, All Rights Reserved CONTACT: 940 Chippendale Lane Norcross, GA 30093-3747 (770) 931-8973 FIFTH DRAFT FEBRUARY 1993 CHARACTERS (in order of appearance) ANDREW NIELSEN, 27, science journalist for a New York television station EDDIE RAYSON, 42, Andrew's co-worker and friend KAREN YOUNG, 28, Andrew's co-worker and friend JULIE TRAVIS, 26, Karen's roommate PETER JENKINS, 28, Eddie's nephew CHRISTINE BRITTON, 25, Peter's fiancée SCENES The action of the play runs from late October to early December 1. Andrew Nielsen's apartment; a Saturday afternoon 2. Karen Young's apartment; that evening 3. Andrew Nielsen's apartment; Tuesday evening, three weeks later 4. A retirement party refreshment room; the following Friday evening 5. A restaurant dining room; two evenings later (Sunday) 6. The sidewalk outside a coffee shop; three evenings later (Wednesday) 7. Karen Young's apartment; forty minutes later 8. A wedding reception side room; the following Sunday evening Scene One (The curtain rises on ANDREW NIELSEN's Manhattan apartment: small, tidy, neatly furnished with plenty of filled bookshelves and a few plants. Andrew and EDDIE RAYSON sit on the sofa, center. Eddie's feet are on the coffee table in front of the sofa; he holds a football which he tosses about. The sounds of a televised college football game underscore the scene.) ANDREW (munching on chips) Look, it's not like I do it on purpose. I just get carried away sometimes. EDDIE (beer in hand) Yeah, yeah, sometimes. Only for you, "sometimes" is "every time." (to television) What? Up the middle? What are you thinking? ANDREW Not true! Not every time! EDDIE Since I've known you, it's been every time, and what's that, two years? So shut up with that "sometimes." (to television) Go! Gooooooo! Yeahhhhhh......shit! ANDREW Fine. But at least I'm out there working on it, and that's more than I can say for you. EDDIE That's your problem. You're "working on it." It's not work, Andrew. It's supposed to be fun. ANDREW Says you. I say it's hard work. I mean, I'm twenty-seven years old and have yet to have a lasting, meaningful relationship. EDDIE Where's the fire, bud? When it's your time, it'll happen. ANDREW But when is it going to be my time? Half my friends are married already. EDDIE So, half your friends are married. So what? You remind me of my nephew, talking like getting married is the be-all, end-all purpose in life. Poor sap -- gotengaged last year, coming to New York to get married next month. I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen. (to television) Run! Run, you bastard! (to Andrew) Actually, that's just what I said to my nephew. ANDREW Tell me, why should your advice be so valuable? EDDIE (holding up hand) Do you see a ring on this finger? ANDREW No. That's the point. EDDIE Exactly. That's the point. Now shut up so I can hear the game. ANDREW But the problem is, what if I'm just not equipped to handle a real commitment? EDDIE That's not a problem, that's a blessing. ANDREW You don't understand. There are certain rules, certain expectations for guys my age. You don't approach thirty without at least being engaged... EDDIE Don't tell me about rules. I know the damn rules, and I say SCREW the rules! You're gonna have enough trouble givin' yourself a tolerable life without tryin'to please every other son of a bitch who thinks that success comes wrapped in a gold band. ANDREW I don't think that. I feel like something's wrong with me if I can't make a relationship work more than a few months, you know? EDDIE I have only one thing to say to that. (At this point, Eddie sits up dramatically, raises his hand as if to quiet the crowd, and belches loudly.) EDDIE (cont.) That, my boy, was at least a nine point seven. ANDREW Maybe if you took things a little more seriously, you wouldn't still be writing copy. EDDIE I'm perfectly happy writing copy. Those bastards at the station only promote the back-stabbing brown-nosing executive ass-kissers, anyway. ANDREW What pisses me off is that practically all those back-stabbing brown- nosing executive ass-kissers are engaged or married. How could any woman go for someone like that? EDDIE Because you don't know how to play the game. You gotta stay in control. Like I told my nephew, you don't have to rush into anything if you're the one in control. ANDREW I can understand how your nephew must have felt. (Sound cue: Television announcer says "We'll be right back after this break for station identification." Television sound continues underneath.) EDDIE (somewhat smugly) Okay, Andrew, grab me another beer and I'll explain the whole thing for ya. ANDREW Oh, you will? EDDIE Your problem is, you aren't usin' the right approach. How did you go after,...uh,... whatshername? That last girl? (Eddie tosses his football to Andrew, who drops it. Eddie plays quarterback throughout the commercial.) ANDREW Michele. Please don't throw that around in here. EDDIE Lighten up. Okay, Michele. How do you know her? (Andrew hesitantly tosses the ball back to Eddie.) ANDREW I met her through a mutual friend down at the station... EDDIE (interrupting) Who? ANDREW Does it matter? EDDIE Maybe. Go wide. (Eddie throws the ball to Andrew, who drops it again. He retrieves it and tosses it back to Eddie.) ANDREW It was Paula, Mr. Preston's secretary. EDDIE Jeez, that stuck-up bitch wouldn't know sex from sandstone. Okay, go on. ANDREW Well, we talked, and I liked her, so over the course of, oh, two weeks... EDDIE Two weeks? (He throws the ball to Andrew, who catches it this time.) ANDREW (continuing) I would send her little cards or some little present. Then we went out for dinner and saw a play... EDDIE Two weeks? What was that for? ANDREW I wanted to build up to it. EDDIE So did ya do her? ANDREW What? EDDIE Did ya "do her" -- you know, bump nasties. To quote the Bard, did you "make the beast with two backs?" Did you get any...? (Eddie again throws the ball to Andrew, who drops it. He picks it up and hands it to Eddie, then sits down on the sofa.) ANDREW (interrupting, embarrassed) No. It was only five weeks from the time we met to the time she... we stopped going out. EDDIE There's your problem. You gotta be more direct. It only takes an hour, bud. ANDREW An hour? EDDIE Yeah. You meet her at a bar, buy her a coupla drinks, maybe dance a little, use some strategic hand placement, and pretty soon you bring her back here, lie down, set her on top of you and spin her around like a pinwheel! ANDREW Yeah, right. You talk big, but when's the last time you actually did this? EDDIE Ohhh, I don't know..... what time is it? (As Eddie laughs, the television announcer says, "We're back with six minutes to go in the third quarter..." Eddie runs back to his seat on the couch.) Wait, the game is back on. Where's that beer? (Andrew reaches into a cooler on the stage right side of the sofa, gets a beer, and hands it to Eddie.) ANDREW (sitting back down) Some help you are. Pass me the chips. (They watch the game for a short time, maybe four or five seconds.) EDDIE (eyes on television) You know, it's not all talk. I've been playin' the game for twenty-five years. I could do it tonight if I wanted to. ANDREW Whatever you say. EDDIE Hey, really, what time is it? ANDREW About four-thirty. EDDIE I know it's a little early for dinner, but you want a pizza? ANDREW No, Karen invited me to eat at her place tonight. Some friend of hers from school is moving in with her and she wants me to meet her. EDDIE Hey hey hey! (Eddie knocks on the coffee table.) Who is it? Who is that rapping on my chamber door? Why, hello, Miss Opportunity! Come right in! ANDREW Stop it. I haven't even met her yet! EDDIE Right. And that's your biggest advantage. (Andrew gives him a look.) Hey, I'm kidding, right? I'm a kidder! When my nephew comes you can ask him! I know you two are going to get along great. I can't wait for you to meet him. ANDREW Just watch the game. Scene Two (KAREN YOUNG'S apartment. Karen, JULIE TRAVIS, and Andrew are seated at the dinner table.) KAREN So, have you guys had enough? JULIE I'm stuffed. ANDREW Really, Karen, I couldn't eat another bite. It was delicious. (They rise to help Karen.) KAREN No, you two sit down. I'll clear the dishes. Be right back. (She takes the dishes and goes.) ANDREW So. You went to school with Karen? JULIE We were friends back at Pearson. ANDREW And you're going to be working at the Daily News? How's that? JULIE I know, I know. Hopefully it'll just be a brief stop on the way to the Times. ANDREW I didn't mean to imply anything. I just didn't expect someone so... intelligent... to be working there. JULIE Yes, well, I get that a lot. But it does pay the rent. ANDREW Has Karen told you much about WLMH? JULIE She mentioned a few names. You, Brent Kirkwood... ANDREW (interrupting) A class one jerk. JULIE That's what she said. What was it she called him, a "back-stabbing..." ANDREW "Brown-nosing executive ass-kisser." A direct quote from another member of our WLMH Brent Kirkwood fan club, Eddie Rayson. JULIE From the sports room. Karen mentioned him, too. (Karen reenters.) KAREN Now we can chat. What did I miss? JULIE We were talking about the guys down at the station. KAREN Hopefully we can find a more interesting subject than that. Andrew? ANDREW (trying) Where's home for you, Julie? JULIE I'm moving here from Seattle, but I'm originally from upstate. ANDREW How did you end up all the way out in Seattle? JULIE Well, Peter... ANDREW Andrew. JULIE Right. Andrew. Well, fresh out of school you take what you can get. My first job offer happened to be on a paper in Sacramento. That led to the stint in Seattle. ANDREW And now all the way back to New York? JULIE I started looking for work in the city after my first... umm, after my father died last year. ANDREW I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... JULIE (coldly) Don't be. Anyway, I moved back to be in driving distance of my mother. KAREN (uncomfortably) So, how is your mother these days? JULIE As well as can be expected. She's making it all right, teaching school. ANDREW What does she teach? JULIE General science at the high school. Ninth grade, I think. KAREN Andrew is the science writer at LMH, you know. JULIE You mentioned that. ANDREW My mom teaches high school English back home. JULIE Where's home? ANDREW Small town in Ohio. Outside Cleveland. KAREN Andrew's about as Midwestern as they come. ANDREW Well, actually, I've never owned any boots or picked any corn, so I guess I haven't quite reached the peak of Midwestern-ness. JULIE So, Cleveland. What's going on in Cleveland? ANDREW Nothing. That's why I'm in New York. JULIE Of course. ANDREW Actually, my dad and I don't get along, either. JULIE What? KAREN Andrew, I don't think... ANDREW What you said about your father. JULIE Oh, I didn't mean to be so obvious. (to Karen) It's okay, Karen. ANDREW My dad's a jerk, too, so I can relate. JULIE Whatever. (pause) So, what is there to do in New York when you're, um, unattached? ANDREW You've got to be kidding. JULIE I know there's plenty to do, but you and Karen'll have to show me all the fun spots. ANDREW Karen, that sounds like a job for you. (to Julie) I don't tend to do the club scene that much. The music is a little harsh for my taste. KAREN Andrew's entertainment usually has some underlying social value. ANDREW (to Karen) What? JULIE Not a clubber, eh? You sound like me in Seattle. ANDREW Not by far. JULIE I don't go in for that scene much, either. I'd rather see a concert or something. KAREN Well, then, there you go. There's a Mozart concert series on at Lincoln Center. Why don't you two go? JULIE Why don't you come, too? KAREN Me, be seen at Lincoln Center? Not on your life! ANDREW Come on, Julie. I'm sure it'll be great. JULIE Well, uh, I guess I'm game if you are. ANDREW I definitely am. Tuesday good for you? JULIE Sure! (They sit awkwardly for a few moments. Andrew smiles at Julie, who looks to Karen. Karen looks at Julie questioningly and follows her gaze to Andrew. Realizing what is going on, she smiles and breaks the silence.) KAREN Julie, why don't you go upstairs and pick a movie out of the box in my bedroom? (Karen shakes her head, motioning Julie out of the room. Julie goes.) ANDREW Is she dating anybody? KAREN I knew this would happen! ANDREW Skip the teasing and tell me. KAREN Hah! You're so lucky to have someone like me looking out for you. ANDREW What? KAREN No, she's not seeing anybody now. I asked you over tonight because I thought you two might hit it off. Looks like I was right! ANDREW Oh, so that whole concert thing was part of your plan? KAREN And the "underlying social value" line was a direct quote -- something I once heard Julie say. Boy, I'm really good at this... ANDREW Before you gloat too much, who is Peter? KAREN Who? ANDREW Don't tell me you didn't hear her call me "Peter." Who is he? KAREN Oh, that. Well, Peter is her ex-boyfriend from college. But they broke up a long time ago. I'm sure that you must have reminded her of him. ANDREW I'd feel a lot better knowing she wasn't stuck on some ex. I have enough trouble without added competition. KAREN We can ask her when she comes down. ANDREW Don't be too obvious. I don't want to look anxious. KAREN Hey, I got you this far. ANDREW Right. So should I ask her out again after the concert? KAREN I would say that depends on what happens Tuesday night. ANDREW Right. So where should I take her? KAREN N.M.P. ANDREW What? KAREN Not my problem. I'm sure you can find something. But Andrew, this time, don't press too hard! ANDREW This time? KAREN As opposed to last time, and the time before that, and the time... ANDREW Okay, no lectures. KAREN Fine. Now here she comes -- don't turn into a schmuck! ANDREW Right. Just find out about Peter. (Julie reenters with three videocassettes.) JULIE I couldn't decide between these. Do you guys want to see a comedy, a drama, or what? Maybe a mystery... KAREN Anything is fine with me. (pause) Wait! What about an old movie? Like maybe an old Bogie flick? (to Andrew) Julie and Peter and I used to watch old movies together back at Pearson. ANDREW (playing along) Peter...? JULIE My college boyfriend. KAREN Peter Jenkins. I haven't thought about him in ages. How is he? JULIE Fine. I mean, I guess he's fine. (to Andrew) We broke up the semester before he graduated, and you know how you can lose touch with people. (Hearing this, Karen slips Andrew a smile, which he returns.) KAREN (hustling Julie out) Well, then, let's pick a movie. I've got all the big ones. Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, whatever you want. Andrew, put some popcorn in the microwave and join us in the living room. (Karen gives Andrew the "thumbs up" sign as the scene ends.) Scene Three (Andrew Nielsen's apartment, three weeks later. The apartment is dark. We hear people at the door. When the lights are turned on, we see that Andrew and Julie are entering.) ANDREW Now go sit down on the sofa. JULIE Andrew, I really need to get home. ANDREW It's barely eleven. I've got something for you. JULIE If you've got more flowers... ANDREW Just sit down. Now trust me, okay? (Julie sits down as Andrew retrieves a small, slim box from a shelf.) I got this for you yesterday. JULIE What is it? ANDREW Open it. (Julie opens the box and discovers an elegant gold neckchain.) JULIE Andrew, it's lovely. But why? ANDREW It's our three week anniversary. JULIE Our what? ANDREW Three weeks ago today we started dating. (She looks at him blankly.) You know, the concert. We've really been seeing a lot of each other and I wanted to do something special. JULIE Yes, but Andrew, I... ANDREW Don't say anything. I know you're probably thinking I'm pressing too hard. JULIE Yes, and I... ANDREW I just couldn't stop thinking about you. JULIE Andrew, this isn't necessary. All the gifts and flowers you've gotten me, they're really not necessary. ANDREW No, Julie, they are. I need to show you that I... JULIE (interrupting) Andrew, I've had a great time these last couple of weeks, too. You're a fun guy, and I've enjoyed seeing the city with you, but I really don't need anything more than that right now. ANDREW Oh, I mean, I can understand if you need some time to yourself. But I just wanted to let you know that if you did need something... more... than, well, what we have now, that it would be fine with me. JULIE Well, that's very thoughtful. ANDREW Because I think you're the most fascinating woman I've ever met. JULIE Well, I think you're pretty fascinating, too. (Andrew is staring at her.) It's time for me to go. Karen's probably wondering... ANDREW There's something else. JULIE There's more? (impatiently) Andrew... ANDREW I'll be right back. (Andrew gets up and runs off right. He returns with a bottle of champagne in a chiller and two glasses.) JULIE Champagne? Don't you think you're going a bit overboard? ANDREW Oh, come on. It's just part of the celebration. (He pops the cork and pours her a glass.) Here. Now hold on. (He pours himself a glass.) I've always wanted to do this. Come over here. JULIE What are you doing? ANDREW You've seen this a million times in the old movies. Hold your arm up and wrap around like this. (He interlocks their arms and moves closer to her. Looking at her longingly for a moment, he strikes a pose à la 1920's Hollywood, then speaks in an affected French accent.) Isn't it romantic? The moon, the clouds, and us. La da da da da da... Julie. JULIE (amused) You are undeniably insane. ANDREW (still playing) Only because of my you, Julie. Don't fight it. La da da da da da... (They stand. Andrew moves toward her dramatically, bends her back and starts to kiss her.) JULIE I can't. (Andrew doesn't stop, but kisses her slowly.) Oh, Peter... (She drops her glass). ANDREW (firmly,in regular voice) My name... is... ANDREW. JULIE (back in reality) I'm sorry. You reminded me of him for a second... ANDREW (unapologetically) Sorry. JULIE (picking up her glass) It's just that he used to pull stunts like that, you know. It's nothing, really. Forget about it. (Andrew starts to say something but pauses as he watches her bending over to clean up the glass.) ANDREW Okay, okay. Be careful picking that up. JULIE I'm sorry... ANDREW It's my fault. I was out of line. I'm sorry. JULIE I really should be going now. ANDREW It's just that, well, you know. What I said before. I mean it. I really sense something between us. JULIE There is something between us, but not what you think. ANDREW I thought it would be good to let you know that I have... strong feelings for you. JULIE I can live with that, but I don't have the same feelings for you that you think you have for me. ANDREW Today. JULIE What? ANDREW Today, you don't have the same feelings for me that I have for you. JULIE Right. ANDREW But you might tomorrow. JULIE Probably not. ANDREW You might develop feelings for me. JULIE You're not listening. ANDREW No, I'm listening. I just don't think you're closed-minded enough to assume that just because you may not think we have a chance today, things might not be different tomorrow. You never know when I'm going to say or do the right thing. JULIE There is no "right thing." I mean, come on, Andrew. You can't make this happen if I don't want it to happen, too. Which I don't. ANDREW Today. JULIE Jesus! All right, I don't want it to happen "today." I think it is time for me to go home. I'll see you... ANDREW Wait, there's one more thing before you go. JULIE (exasperated) What? ANDREW There's this banquet I have to go to Friday night and I want you to come with me. It'll be a nice affair. JULIE I don't know, Andrew. Maybe we shouldn't be going out alone so much. ANDREW We wouldn't be alone, really. It's a banquet for one of the higher-ups at the station. Some board member is resigning and they're throwing a "let's-kiss-his-butt-one-last-time" party. Everybody'll be there. Karen'll be there, so we really wouldn't be alone. Come on. JULIE Fine, as long as Karen's there. ANDREW Then it's settled. I'll talk to you before Friday to work out the details. It'll be fun! JULIE I'm sure. I'll see you later. ANDREW You want me to ride home with you? It's no trouble... JULIE No, no, I'll be fine. Thanks again for dinner. ANDREW Goodnight! JULIE Right. ANDREW See you Friday! (Julie goes. Andrew closes the door and turns around smiling as the scene ends.) Scene Four (An area off to the side of the WLMH reception room. We hear music -- the banquet is in progress (somewhere offstage) as lights come up on Eddie and Karen standing by the refreshment table.) EDDIE (inspecting snacks) Cheap supermarket cookies. Typical. (looks at watch) Actually, what time do you have? KAREN Nine forty-five. EDDIE Andrew usually shows up to brown-nose slash mingle with the supervisors before the program. It's not like him to show up after the speeches. KAREN I guess he and Julie went somewhere else for dinner. EDDIE Oh, yes, Miss Julie Travis. He's out with her again? KAREN Yeah. You know her name? Andrew's told you about her? EDDIE Told me about her? Jesus, every other word out of his mouth is "Julie." KAREN I was afraid of that. EDDIE That's just Andrew. KAREN He's starting to get on Julie's nerves. He needs to let up. EDDIE Andrew's harmless. But all his yak has kind of intrigued me. So, is she as devastating as Andrew says she is? And says, and says, and ... KAREN (looking off right) You can be the judge of that. They just came in. EDDIE (looking in the same direction) Yowza! Kinda revs up the motor, she does. (pause) Looks like a prime candidate for my "pinwheel technique." KAREN Your what? EDDIE Never mind. (Andrew and Julie enter down right.) KAREN You two finally made it. JULIE Dinner was a little slow. ANDREW We missed the speeches? EDDIE Half an hour ago. There's Leibowitz over there, dancing on his wife. ANDREW (leaving) Julie, you have to meet Mr. Leibowitz. He's been around here longer than anybody... EDDIE Whoa, there, bud! Aren't you going to introduce us? ANDREW Oh, sorry. Julie, this is Eddie Rayson, from the sports room. Eddie, this is... EDDIE (interrupting) Miss Julie Travis. I've heard so much about your... I mean, about you. JULIE Pleased to meet you, Mr. Rayson. EDDIE Call me Eddie. JULIE Okay, Eddie. EDDIE New to the city, I hear? JULIE Yes, but Karen and Andrew have been showing me around. ANDREW I told you about that concert we saw at Lincoln Center... EDDIE (to Julie) I suppose you've been to most of the big nightclubs by now -- at least the standards. JULIE Actually, we haven't been hitting the clubs too hard. You see, I'm not... EDDIE (interrupting) No clubs? Andrew, what are you thinking? ANDREW We've been busy doing other things. JULIE I'm not a great fan of nightclubs. EDDIE So where do you go to dance? JULIE I don't dance all that much, either. EDDIE Someone like you needs to get out and about. You tell Karen and Andrew to take you out dancing. KAREN (playfully) I haven't seen you out burning up the dance floor. EDDIE Maybe I just don't know anyone who can keep up with me. ANDREW (trying to get away) There goes Mr. Leibowitz -- let's catch him before he leaves. EDDIE I'm sure Julie doesn't want to spend the evening yammering with Leibowitz. Besides, I'm not sure Leibowitz could handle standing next to someone this exciting. You're probably much too hot for him. KAREN You are such a flirt! EDDIE (to Karen) You're just jealous! (to Julie) I insist you dance with me. The music's pretty lame, but it's better than nothing. Come on -- let's go shake a tailfeather. JULIE What? ANDREW You're showing your age, Eddie. EDDIE Yeah, yeah. Maybe -- but look who's got the girl! (Eddie and Julie exit to the "dance floor" off left.) ANDREW He just stole my date! KAREN It's nothing. He'd flirt with Mrs. Leibowitz if her husband weren't the guest of honor. Besides, it gives us a chance to talk. You've been so busy with Julie lately. ANDREW What do you want to talk about? KAREN It doesn't matter. Anything. ANDREW What does Julie think about... KAREN (interrupting) Except Julie. ANDREW I don't understand. KAREN Eddie says she's all you talk about now. So tonight we're gonna talk about something else. ANDREW Then let's talk about me. KAREN I guess that's a step in the right direction. ANDREW What does Julie say about me? KAREN God, Andrew! ANDREW (pressing) Come on -- she's gotta be telling you something. KAREN I'm not sure you need to hear. ANDREW What's that mean? Is it bad? KAREN It's not exactly bad, but it's not exactly good. ANDREW You're talking in circles. KAREN Well, you know all those flowers? ANDREW Yeah, what about them? KAREN Well, they were nice at first -- Julie was putting them up around the place. ANDREW And? KAREN About the time the third dozen arrived, she told me it was starting to get on her nerves. ANDREW Really? I thought women liked flowers. KAREN Then after the fourth dozen, she read the card, pulled out one flower and threw the other eleven away. ANDREW At least she kept one. KAREN With the fifth dozen she started throwing them out as soon as they got here. We finally lost count. How many did you send, anyway? ANDREW A dozen. KAREN Right, but how many times? ANDREW No, I meant I sent her a dozen dozens. KAREN A hundred and forty-four roses in three weeks? Are you sick? ANDREW I was just trying to... (he breaks off) I don't know what I was trying to do. KAREN Me either. But you succeeded in making her pretty nervous. And then on top of that, the gold necklace. ANDREW I had a reason for that. KAREN Andrew, most people don't buy precious metals and flowers in gross for their three week anniversary. You need to let up. You're being too forward. ANDREW (looking off left) Forward? Eddie's known her for five minutes and he's practically got her groping all over him! KAREN (looking off left) She's brushing dandruff off his coat. That's not groping. ANDREW I don't think I'm being that forward. KAREN Don't forget -- I live with her, and I'm telling you there's no reason for you to spend all your coins decorating our dumpster! ANDREW Still, you have to admit, we've really been going out a lot. KAREN And you may not be going out so much if you don't back off. ANDREW Maybe so. But what if she's looking for some commitment, too? What if she's looking for a stable relationship? KAREN Did she say she was? ANDREW No. KAREN Did she tell you she wasn't? ANDREW Yes. But she could have been lying. KAREN She could have been. But just don't assume you can walk up and fill that position like a job at McDonald's. ANDREW We can find out easily enough. KAREN What are you gonna do? ANDREW The next time we go out I could just ask... KAREN (interrupting) The next time you go out may not happen at all if you don't back off! ANDREW I'll try. KAREN Start now. (Julie and Eddie have entered smiling from stage left.) JULIE Your nephew went to Pearson? EDDIE Yeah -- you'll get to meet him -- he's coming by here tonight. (By now they are standing by Karen and Andrew. They have gone to the stage right side of the table and gotten champagne glasses. They face Karen and Andrew to the left.) KAREN Your nephew is coming to the banquet? EDDIE I told him he and his fiancée could stop by. They're just gettin' into town tonight and I figured I might need someone sober to drive me home. (pause) Damn cheap supermarket champagne. KAREN It goes with the cookies. ANDREW When are they supposed to get here? EDDIE Oh, I don't know. Any time now, I guess. KAREN Why didn't you tell us that he was coming? EDDIE I didn't think it was that big a deal. ANDREW I can't wait to meet him. JULIE You should have told me and Karen you had a nephew from Pearson! What's his name? EDDIE Here they are. (shouting to stage right) Come on over here! (Peter and Christine enter down right and make their way toward the table.) KAREN Oh my God! JULIE What's the matter? KAREN Oh my God. EDDIE Guys, I'd like you to meet my nephew and his fiancée, ... (As he speaks this line, Julie turns around and sees Peter.) JULIE Peter! EDDIE This is great -- a Pearson reunion! You know Karen already. PETER Of course. Karen. KAREN Peter. (There is an awkward pause.) ANDREW Andrew. Nielsen. Pleased to meet you. PETER Peter Jenkins. This is Christine Britton. CHRISTINE Hi. (All but Julie ad lib the usual "hellos.") JULIE It's time to go. ANDREW But Peter and Christine just got here. CHRISTINE It's early yet... JULIE We're leaving. Goodnight. (to Andrew) Come on. ANDREW (annoyed, to Julie) Okay! (on their way out) Nice to have met. (They go, stage right.) EDDIE (to Karen) What gives? KAREN I'll tell you later. Maybe you should ask your nephew. Nice to have met you, Christine. Good to see you, Peter. (She goes.) CHRISTINE Is there a problem? PETER I hope not. EDDIE (awkwardly) Well! (pause) So! (polite smile - looking about) Welcome to New York! Scene Five (The scene opens on a restaurant dining room. There are two tables. Andrew and Julie are seated at the table stage right; Andrew's back is to the other table. They are looking at menus. Peter and Christine are seated at the table stage left but their faces are hidden from the audience by their menus. Julie can see the other table.) ANDREW This place is expensive! JULIE Don't you like it? ANDREW It's great, but I've never been to a restaurant where you couldn't place an order without putting up collateral. JULIE Right. Well, if it bothers you, you can take me home. ANDREW No -- don't get upset. It's fine, but I don't understand why you were so insistent on coming here. JULIE I wasn't insistent, exactly. ANDREW Yes, you were. I already had reservations at Melinda's. JULIE We always eat at Melinda's. ANDREW We don't "always" eat there. We've eaten there twice. "Twice" is far from always. JULIE Fine. If you want to go to Melinda's then we can just go there. ANDREW No, we can't. JULIE Why not? ANDREW Why not? You made me cancel the reservations. JULIE Then stop complaining and order something. ANDREW (looking at menu) Yeesh -- I'm going to have to take out a loan! JULIE Shh! I need to be able to hear. ANDREW (looking about) Hear who? (Peter and Christine are still hidden behind their menus.) JULIE Uhh, I mean, I need to hear if they call my name. I might get a call from the paper tonight and I left them this number. ANDREW How could you have been that sure that we were coming here? JULIE I wasn't that sure. I left the number at Melinda's, too. ANDREW Well, thank God. (At this point, Andrew and Julie are hidden behind their menus and Peter and Christine lower theirs. Occasionally Julie peeks at them.) PETER In a week you'll be Mrs. Peter Jenkins. CHRISTINE It's hard to believe the wedding's almost here! We still have so much to do. We have to make new reservations for my parents, and we have to find another hotel for my aunt, and we have to call the caterer and make those changes... PETER (interrupting) Right, right. We'll do it. But tonight is just for us to forget about everything and everyone but us. Forget the planning -- forget the reservations. CHRISTINE All right, I'll try. PETER Take some deep breaths. Maybe you might want to freshen up a little. CHRISTINE I'll be right back. PETER Remember -- forget about everything and everyone else. CHRISTINE Right. Forget everything and everyone else. (She goes off left. Julie has been watching and sees that Christine has excused herself.) JULIE Andrew, I need to go freshen up. ANDREW All right. Have you decided what you want? JULIE (looking at Peter) Yes. (She goes.) ANDREW (exasperated, after she goes) Fine. Order it for yourself, then. (Julie walks over to the other table unseen by Peter. She stands behind him for a moment, then Peter speaks as she moves to sit in Christine's chair.) PETER Julie! What are you doing here? JULIE I needed to talk to you. PETER How did you know I was here? JULIE I'm an investigative reporter. (pause) You made your dinner reservations through your hotel. I checked. PETER What do you want? And make it quick, because Christine will be back soon and she's got enough stress without having you show up again. JULIE Look, Peter, I've always been straight with you and I'm gonna be straight with you now. You can't marry Christine. PETER Julie, we're not going to have this conversation again. JULIE But... PETER Julie, you are the last person on earth I have to justify my marriage to. (Julie is taken aback and appears hurt.) I know you don't believe me now, but I swear, I never meant to hurt you. JULIE Funny how well you did it. PETER Julie, there's no reason for you to keep putting yourself through this. JULIE It's not me, it's you. PETER You wanted more from our friendship than I did. Why can't you see that? JULIE You're right Peter. We were good for each other, and we still are. That's why you can't marry Christine. PETER Stop, this, Julie! I don't feel the same way for you as you feel for me. (Andrew looks up and looks at his watch, then looks down again.) JULIE Today. PETER What? JULIE Today you don't feel the same way for me I feel for you. You never know about tomorrow. PETER Yes, I do, because in seven tomorrows I'm going to have a wife. A wife, Julie! This wedding is going to happen and you're just going to have to deal with it. (Christine enters down left. Julie gets out of her chair. Andrew looks at his watch, then turns around and sees Julie at the other table. He gets up and goes to the other table.) Here she comes. Be cordial. (when Christine arrives) Christine, you remember Julie Travis. CHRISTINE Yes, from the banquet. I understand you and Peter knew each other in college. JULIE Yes, back at Pearson. (There is a pause as Peter and Christine attempt to get back to their menus. Julie glares at Peter.) CHRISTINE Well, I hope to see you at the wedding next week. JULIE Oh, I'll be there. (Andrew arrives.) ANDREW I was about to send a search party! Are you all right? JULIE Yes, I'm fine. Look who's here -- Peter and Christine. ANDREW Good to see you both again. PETER Good to see you again, Andrew. We'll see you at the wedding, I hope. ANDREW I'm going with Eddie. (pause) We'd better get back to our table. See you two later. CHRISTINE (slightly biting, to Julie) Goodnight. (Andrew and Julie return to their positions at their table.) ANDREW (to Julie, moving to table) Just what went on between you two at Pearson? CHRISTINE (to Peter) What went on between you two back at Pearson? JULIE (now seated) We dated for two years. It was very serious. PETER We dated for two years, but it never turned into anything very serious. JULIE We planned to get married after he graduated. PETER She sometimes brought up the subject of marriage, but we never seriously discussed it. JULIE He was obsessed with me. PETER It became more and more obvious how obsessed she was with me. JULIE He called all the time. PETER She left me all these phone messages... JULIE I broke up with him the semester before he graduated. PETER I broke up with her the semester before I graduated. JULIE That was the best thing that could have happened. PETER That was definitely the best thing that could have happened. CHRISTINE Have you talked to her since you graduated? ANDREW Have you seen him since he graduated? JULIE Well, that's the strange thing. When he graduated, he moved away. PETER When I graduated, I moved to Washington. I got a job with this testing firm in Seattle. JULIE After college I got a job at a paper in Sacramento, but I was transferred to another paper owned by the same company. In Seattle. PETER She got a job on a paper out west and followed me to Seattle. JULIE He had gone to Seattle. I saw him out there once. PETER I saw her once. I tried to stay away from her. Then I got transferred here after you and I met. JULIE My editor in Seattle had a friend at the Daily News. He put in a good word for me and so now I'm in New York. It's just a coincidence. PETER Now she's followed me across the country. Twice. It's some kind of obsession with her. CHRISTINE Do you still have feelings for her? ANDREW How do you feel about him now? JULIE I don't feel anything. PETER I feel nothing but pity. I hope she'll be all right. JULIE It's over between us. PETER It's over between us. ANDREW Whatever you say. CHRISTINE Anything you say. PETER After the wedding, things will calm down. JULIE I'll probably never see him -- them, again, after the wedding. ANDREW You're going to the wedding? CHRISTINE Is she coming to the wedding? PETER I couldn't invite Karen without inviting Julie. JULIE Karen and I are going. PETER There's nothing to worry about. (The lights fade.) Scene Six (The lights come up on the exterior of a small coffee shop. The sign in the window says "Closed for Hanukkah." Eddie, standing outside, notices the sign.) EDDIE Shit. (Julie enters stage left, rushing a bit.) JULIE Sorry I'm late. EDDIE It doesn't matter -- we can't get in, anyway. JULIE Oh, no. EDDIE No problem. We can go somewhere else. Why'd you call me, anyway? JULIE I didn't mean to impose. I needed to talk to someone. EDDIE I barely know you. JULIE For my problem, you're the logical choice. EDDIE I don't follow... JULIE It's about Peter. I'm not sure what you know about us... EDDIE I know enough. JULIE I need some help sorting out my feelings about him before the wedding. Andrew trusts you. I hoped you could talk to me. EDDIE Hey, I'm a sports writer, not a shrink! JULIE Yes, but you're his uncle, and I need some advice. EDDIE Fine. I call 'em as I see 'em. (Andrew appears stage right apparently hurrying home. He sees Julie and Eddie and remains out of their sight as he watches them.) Let's go to my place. We can talk as we walk. JULIE Are you sure you don't mind? I mean, I've been denying the fact that I need to do this, but it's time I finally... you know, tried to figure it out... EDDIE Jeez, how do you lost-lover types keep finding me? (They exit stage left. Andrew keeps his distance as he follows them unseen.) ANDREW You sorry bastard. I can't believe this. (He follows them off stage left as the lights go down.) Scene Seven (The lights come up on Karen Young's apartment. It is dark, perhaps in a blue light. Andrew walks to the door stage left and knocks.) KAREN (through closed door) Who is it? ANDREW Andrew. KAREN Hold on a sec... (She opens the door. She is wearing a terrycloth robe and slippers. Andrew enters the room as Karen hits the switch and the lights come up.) What's wrong? It's nearly one. ANDREW (seriously) I need to talk. KAREN If this is about Julie again I don't want to hear it. I told you last time... ANDREW (interrupting) I wouldn't be here if I didn't think it was important. KAREN Sit down. You want coffee? (Andrew sits on the sofa and shakes his head "no.") Fine. (She goes toward the kitchen, off right.) What did she do? ANDREW Not so fast. Do you know where your roommate is? KAREN (re-entering and moving to chair) Do I care? Julie is old enough to take care of herself. She comes in late all the time. ANDREW I don't think she's coming in at all tonight. She's with Eddie at his apartment down on Forty-Fifth. KAREN Eddie... ANDREW Rayson. From the station. You know, the writer. KAREN So? ANDREW Eddie, the forty-two-year-old horny teenager. You forget, I know him. KAREN I didn't forget. I just don't care. ANDREW Doesn't that worry you? KAREN Not really. It's none of my business and even less of yours. How do you know she's at Eddie's, anyway? ANDREW I followed them. KAREN (getting up) That's it. I'm going to bed. ANDREW I saw them leaving that coffee shop on Seventy-Eighth street as I was walking home and I got carried away. KAREN Carried all the way back down to Forty-Fifth street? Andrew, listen to me. You have got to stop obsessing. You're driving yourself and a good friend absolutely crazy! Now go home and go to bed. ANDREW So what if I am obsessing? You know I don't usually get swept up in emotions like this... KAREN Right. So sweep yourself back up and get on with your life. You're just wasting your time with Julie. ANDREW I'm just doing what you suggested in the first place. KAREN I was wrong, OK? Just because I'm her roommate doesn't mean I can read her mind. My first impression was that you guys might hit it off. I think you still might, but just as friends. You can't keep beating your head against a wall. ANDREW I think you were right about us. No one has ever had this effect on me before and I'm not going to ignore that. You're her friend. What can I do to make this happen? KAREN There's nothing you can do. You can't make this happen. You just don't see the whole picture. You're in the middle of the whole thing and you can't see the pattern. ANDREW What pattern? KAREN You're not the first guy who's fallen for Julie. ANDREW Yes, but none of them were Andrew Nielsen. KAREN Naive conceit. ANDREW It's not conceit. It's self-confidence. KAREN Whatever. It doesn't matter to Julie. You don't see that she's really confused and... well, a little crazy. ANDREW So? I'm a little crazy, too. KAREN You don't understand Julie. Have you two ever had a conversation where you didn't babble like an idiot, blindly agreeing with everything she said? ANDREW Give me a little credit. I'm not totally brainless. We've had several serious conversations. Even arguments. KAREN So you know about Peter. ANDREW Jenkins? Yeah. They dated in college. So what? KAREN You've heard Julie's side of the story. They started out as friends and she fell for him. They started dating, but they didn't tell anyone. Finally, she came out and admitted she loved him, but it turned out his feelings were not as strong. Did she tell you she attempted suicide? ANDREW Uhh, yes... No. KAREN She tried to overdose on prescription medicine. She spent weeks in the hospital recovering and she's never been the same since. I think she messed up her brain. ANDREW There's nothing wrong with her brain. My God, she graduated at the top of her class... KAREN You know what I'm driving at. She started fixating on winning Peter back. The job in Seattle was her own concoction. And she pulled her own strings at the Daily News, too. When Peter got engaged to Christine Britton, she took it well outwardly, but that's when she began... "playing" with men. And I think you're just another guy in the line. Eddie, too. ANDREW Eddie is old enough to be her father. KAREN I don't think you need to be worrying about him. ANDREW That's what I try to tell myself, but I get so jealous -- I mean, he's basically been a father figure to me. I wish he'd never met Julie. I wish I'd never taken her to that banquet. KAREN (under her breath) I wish you hadn't, either. ANDREW I heard that. Look, Julie and I have talked about Peter. She assures me she's over him. Even if it's not true, I still have to have the confidence that I might be the right one. Too many things are just too perfect. KAREN So what else do you talk about? ANDREW She sometimes asks me, "What do you want?" KAREN What do you want? ANDREW I want her to stop asking that question! KAREN You have to realize that you are not going to change anything about Julie. ANDREW You don't know that! Don't you believe in fate? Or beating the odds? Julie once told me, "Andrew, the odds against us having a relationship are too high. We don't have enough in common." But I said, "What were the odds that we would ever meet in the first place?" and she had to admit that huge odds don't mean anything. Don't you see? That has to mean something. So what if I'm hopeless. I know that somehow, this is supposed to work out. KAREN Andrew, we're both wasting our time here. Goodnight. (They both get up, and Karen shows Andrew to the door.) ANDREW I'll see you at the wedding, then? KAREN Goodnight! (The lights fade.) Scene Eight (The lights come up on Andrew and Eddie in a small lounge adjoining the room where Peter and Christine are holding their wedding reception.) EDDIE He can't say I didn't warn him. He'd better not come cryin' to me about "married life." ANDREW (coldly) Right. EDDIE I tried to tell him. (pause) Then again, they're makin' out like bandits. All those presents -- it's almost worth getting married just to see how much loot you can take! (Andrew remains silent.) And I guess the honeymoon wouldn't be too bad, either, eh? ANDREW I guess not. EDDIE You okay? You haven't been your normal yakkety self these last few days. ANDREW I don't have anything to say. EDDIE Ohh-kay. But if you want to talk about it... ANDREW (interrupting) Just drop it. (Julie enters at the door stage right.) Well, I guess you two want to be alone. EDDIE What? ANDREW It's okay -- I'm leaving. JULIE Actually, Andrew, I need to talk to you. ANDREW It's fine with me if it's fine with him. EDDIE Ahhhh, yeah. I think now's a good time for me to evaluate the champagne. (Julie nods at Eddie, who exits stage right.) ANDREW What do you want? JULIE What's wrong with you? ANDREW What's wrong with me? Where do I start? JULIE Start wherever you want. ANDREW I want to start in Seattle. JULIE Meaning what? ANDREW You didn't just happen upon that job, did you? JULIE What are you talking about? ANDREW You followed Peter Jenkins out there. JULIE I told you it was just luck. ANDREW Luck? Like hell it was luck! You planned it! And you followed him back here, too. Didn't you? JULIE Even if I did, what does it matter to you? ANDREW Why didn't you tell me? JULIE I tried to, but you wouldn't listen! ANDREW I'm sure I would have heard you if you'd said, "Andrew, I'm stuck on my ex-boyfriend from college who's now engaged and I've followed him across the country twice to try to win him back and that makes me a psycho bitch from hell so stay away from me if you know what's good for you." That is the truth, isn't it? JULIE From a twisted, one-sided viewpoint, it could be. But you know my side of the story. ANDREW But your side of the story -- the side you fed me -- was all based on half-truths. You've never told me the whole truth. JULIE Maybe. But it doesn't matter anymore because Eddie helped me figure out... ANDREW (interrupting) And Eddie. That's another thing. How could you go with him to his place that night knowing how I felt about you? JULIE What? ANDREW Damn it, Julie, I was trying to build a relationship and you never gave me the chance. It was always Peter or Eddie who was better, Peter or Eddie who suited your needs. I drove myself crazy... JULIE You followed me over there? ANDREW I did and I'm glad, too, because it finally showed me what an idiot I was. JULIE You had no business following me over there. ANDREW You had no business sleeping with Eddie when you knew how I felt! JULIE Sleep with Eddie? You think that's why I went over there? ANDREW I know how he operates. JULIE Eddie is Peter's uncle. That's why I went over there. ANDREW You're saying you didn't sleep with him? JULIE Even though it's none of your business, no, I didn't. I was there because I needed to talk to someone. ANDREW You can't talk to me? JULIE Not about Peter -- you're too much alike. ANDREW Why Eddie? JULIE He knows Peter better than any of us -- and in a different way, too. Everyone else is either his friend or fiancée you know? I needed someone to help me figure out what it was I was feeling, and it couldn't be someone who was feeling the same way, like you. ANDREW What's wrong with my having feelings for you? JULIE Nothing! (pause) There's nothing wrong with that. That's why I asked Eddie to leave. ANDREW This is certainly a different tune. JULIE I needed to talk to you alone. ANDREW Why? JULIE My conversation with Eddie helped me put away some feelings I thought I had. Now I understand that it's over with Peter -- it's been over. (Eddie has appeared and now hovers unseen by the door.) ANDREW I should say so, considering that their wedding reception is going on twenty feet from here. JULIE I also uncovered some feelings I didn't know I had. For you. ANDREW (cautiously) Go on. JULIE I realize now what you were trying to show me. I was so busy worrying about Peter and Christine that I didn't see that you were really trying to help me. Maybe I needed to SEE their wedding. To give myself some kind of ceremony -- to close that door. But now it's finally closed, and now I want to open the door you've been knocking on all along. If you're still there. ANDREW I see. JULIE Aren't you going to answer? ANDREW I'm answering. (pause) But I'm not letting you in. JULIE Why not? ANDREW Because I think I see something in all of this and it scares me, because what I see is myself. (pause) Watching you has shown me a lot about myself. I watched your obsession with Peter, and I watched how you tortured yourself over Christine. I watched myself agonize over Eddie. It was like looking in a mirror. And just as I was ready to break the glass -- all my jealousy, love, hate, and anger all running together in my confusion -- you turn around and tell me I was right all along. What am I supposed to think? JULIE (sheepishly) Perseverance pays off? ANDREW No. I can't let you in, now. Not after what I've seen. JULIE But what about all the times you told me before...? ANDREW Don't you see? I was trapping myself in my own obsession. Those feelings I had were, ...I don't know, ...distorted. JULIE And now you have none of those feelings left? ANDREW I didn't say that. I said my feelings were distorted. I still have feelings for you, Julie. But they're different. And for now, that's how they're going to have to stay. JULIE (hopeful) Today. For today, they have to stay that way. But you never know about tomorrow... ANDREW (interrupting) I've heard this before. But I'm afraid that tomorrow is too soon, too. JULIE Then when? When will I know it's time? When can I try again? ANDREW When you can answer those questions for yourself. (There is silence as Andrew stares at Julie. She looks at him with a confused sadness, then walks toward the door. Eddie, champagne glass in hand, sees her and moves away so as not to be caught. Soon after Julie exits, Eddie reappears at the door to find Andrew standing alone, quiet and thoughtful.) EDDIE New approach, eh? ANDREW (a little ashamed) Yeah. I owe you an apology. EDDIE Nah. Live and learn. ANDREW I did. EDDIE I see. And what about Julie? ANDREW I hope she will. EDDIE From a lowly sports writer's point of view, it looks like you've got a better handle on the game this time. ANDREW I understand the rules a little better, anyway. The problem is, the only way you can truly win at this game is not to know you're playing it. (Eddie puts his hand on Andrew's shoulder as they exit and the curtain falls.) END OF PLAY 8J