WILD HOG PLUMS A PLAY in Three Acts BY ALLEN BECK Characters: Ethel Goodwin: widowed, in her late fifties, good-natured and generally friendly, she keeps a small store for the odds and ends the ladies of the town need. She is comfortable with herself, not very formal and tries to avoid getting "fixed up" by the other women since the death of her husband some years before. Sarah Johnson: Ethel's best friend, a few years younger and given to an occasional "almost only moment of passionate weakness". Sally Mae Buford-Nash: forty-something ex-beauty queen and rival of Jessie Lou Coltrane for the meager social scene of the town. Sally Mae keeps everything she "owns" under close rein, including her husband, Ed, who owns the feed store, making him the richest man in town. Sally Mae is showy and somewhat condescending, none of which makes her a particular favorite with Ethel. Jessie Lou Coltrane: Sally Mae's rival and wife of the school superintendent, Jessie Lou is as plain as Sally Mae is flashy. Edwin Carter: now-famous writer who grew up in the town and was a beau of Ethel's before he left for the big city of Atlanta out of high school. He has returned ostensibly to do "research" for a new novel about the town but the townsfolk don't exactly trust him, as his previous novels were considered "trashy" around these parts. Ed Nash: Sally Mae's long-suffering husband, Ed is not nearly as smart as he needs to be to keep up with his wife. Lucy Bragg: a young woman now around thirty, possibly of mixed parentage, Lucy left town with a poet several years ago and has returned to tend to her aging mother. Lucy is Ethel's favorite, in spite of her "low-class" status. She serves as narrator for the play. The scene: A small Georgia town that was the setting for the first play in this set, "TOO MUCH SUGAR FOR A DIME". The time is anytime, the focus of activity is Ethel's store, a small place with a few shelves of merchandise but most everything is in the back. UR is the door, UL at an angle is the counter, which has a few items such as mints, magazines and such. UR behind the counter is the curtain that leads to "the back". The action this time centers around the return of Edwin Carter, writer of tawdry southern novels and short stories and former boyfriend of Ethel years ago. They have not seen each other in thirty years, although Ethel has kept up with his career more than she might admit. He is coming back to do research for a historical novel, one that he swears will be complimentary to the town but no one is sure of his intentions. Act I Lucy Bragg (opens with a narration from off-stage ) This is the place I left, my home town and scene of some mighty funny goings-on, although the folks around here might not agree. Especially Sally Mae. I don't think she ever really forgave me for leaving with Ernest Hummingway, her poetry discovery and, under his real name of Tommy Sanders, my "boyfriend" these past few years. Tommy and I split up last summer, no big deal, just a parting of the ways and I had to come home to see to my momma, whose arthritis has pretty much gotten her down in the bed. She says 'Arthur is the worst of them Itis boys' and makes a joke of it but I know she's hurting most of the time. Ethel has been sending out some linament from the store and it helps some but Momma doesn't have long left, so I plan to stay around until the end comes or Sally Mae gets to me, whichever comes first. Anyhow, I just wanted to tell you that things are getting pretty excited around town, what with Mr. Edwin Carter coming back after all this time. Folks call his work trash but I like it, most of it, that is, the parts I can read without blushing. Momma don't like any of it and won't let me bring his books into her house. Sarah still fools around but nobody is supposed to know about her little trips. Ethel is still her good old self and still a friend. Jessie Lou has been acting strange and I haven't figured out why just yet, but I bet it has something to do with the notes I saw the Reverend Caldwell slipping to her in the choir loft in church lately. Well, I'll be going now and let things sort themselves out. I'll talk to you later, though, just to help make sense out of the foolishness I just know is about to happen. (Curtain Opens) (Ethel is fixing and dusting and cleaning about the store. She is whistling a tune and looks up at the picture of her late husband, Luke, behind the counter.) Ethel What are you staring at? I just thought it would be nice to clean up a bit, the place gets dusty every time the wind blows. I know, you think I'm doing it just because he's coming home but you're wrong. Besides, it was you I married in any case. I'd still be married to you if you hadn't gone and stuck that antenna out for any old lightning bolt to hit. I forgave you for being dumb a long time ago and for having a girl friend, too. It would have been cheaper if you'd told me out right, saved a lot of money on home repairs that we always had to get redone after you messed things up. Well, let me get back to my dusting and you, well, you stay put, so I'll know where to find you next time we talk. (Sally Mae enters UR): Sally Mae Ethel, I'm just so excited, I almost fainted just thinking about it. Ethel About what? Sally Mae About Edwin Carter, of course. The most famous writer ever to come out of our little town and he's coming here to start a new book. Ethel The only writer to come out of here and I don't trust him. Sally Mae Why in the world not? Besides, I hear he's already called you on the phone. An old flame rekindled? Ethel More like old ashes blowing in the breeze. No spark there, girl, least ways, not so far as I'm concerned. Sally Mae Well, I'm planning a tea for him next week. You might consider dropping by, if you aren't too busy with the store. It was a stretch getting to him before that Jessie Lou but I managed it. It should be even bigger than the poet, what was his name? Ethel It sounded something like Ernest. Sally Mae That was it, any way, at least this fellow is for real, and already famous so I don't have to do any expensive advertising or anything like that. Ethel He may be famous but I don't see why you two ladies have to keep on fighting over celebrities, famous or not. Sally Mae By the way, that reminds me, have you seen Lucy since she got back? I want her to do a few chores for me, silver polishing and stuff like that. Ethel Last time you had a tea, Lucy wound up polishing half of Buckingham palace. Besides, I thought you said you never wanted to see Lucy again. Sally Mae That was all a misunderstanding. Anyway, she's the only one who can do a decent job around here. The other maids are downright lazy and just won't work for the kind of money the jobs are worth. Ethel Sometimes I think the only difference between working for you and slavery was that slaves got fed. If I see her, I'll ask her to call you but don't be surprised if she turns you down flat. The way I see it, five bucks for a day's work is pretty slim pickins. Now, if there was nothing else I can do for you, I'm busy cleaning. Bye now and don't slam the door on your way out. Sally Mae You could be a bit more civil, Ethel Goodwin. I could carry my business across town to the Worldmart. (She leaves UR, slamming the door behind her.) Ethel (to herself) You do that, if they'll let you back into the store after you cussed out the manager for not carrying evening primrose oil for your PMS. Sarah enters UR) Sarah Sally Mae looks like she swallowed a bee. What did you say to her? Ethel Nothing 'cept I was busy and she could leave whenever it was convenient. Sarah Same old Sally Mae. But that's not why I came by. I heard Edwin Carter has already called you and asked you out. Is it true? Ethel That's the trouble with a small town, everyone hears what they want to hear and damn the truth. No, it's not true. Well, he did call and say he wanted to see me but that's not the same thing. Sarah You two had quite a thing back in the old days. Ethel Back in the old days, sounds like ancient history and that's exactly what Edwin Carter is. I wouldn't give two cents for him or his dirty books. Sarah All right but we'll see if your tune changes when he gets here. I'll bet five dollars you and him get together, if only for lunch. Ethel You're on and I'll love taking your money 'cause the only lunch I would serve him is crow. Sarah Well, I have to run. This is my weekend in Atlanta and I have to pick up a nice roast for my boys. Jake is such a good husband, so understanding. Ethel I wonder how understanding he'd be if he knew what you were up to in Atlanta? Sarah Ethel, that's all in the past. These days, I just go up and do some shopping, check out the outlet stores, just taking some time out for myself. Ethel Times have sure changed. Shopping, eh? Sarah Ethel, you know I quit all that foolishness a long time ago. Why, I haven't had one of my "moments of passionate weakness" for at least two years now. I decided it wasn't worth all the bother. Ethel After that poet came to town, you mean. Sarah Something like that. But you almost made me forget why I came in. I don't think I told you my other news yet. Ethel And that would be? Sarah Jake and me are buying the old pecan warehouse out by the interstate. He's planning to fix it up and start buying and selling pecans again. Ethel Somehow I can't see you two operating the "nut house", least that's what we used to call it. Sarah That's just what we are going to do and Jake figures that within just one season, he'll have all the tourists from up and down the interstate begging for our nuts. Ethel I hope that the tourists are the only ones begging. Sarah Jake has it all figured out. He'll get as many kids around town to pick pecans and pay them by the pound. We'll sell them in small bags for a big profit. Besides, we could use the extra money since his life insurance business has slowed down so much. Ethel Folks living too long these days? Sarah I don't know but they sure aren't buying as much insurance as they used to. Jake blames it on all those old movie actors selling term life on television. Oh, I almost forgot. Have you heard about Sally Mae's latest interest? Ethel No but I bet you're going to tell me all about it. Sarah She's been seeing the football coach, up in the equipment room after practice. It would be entirely too smelly for me but I guess since she's a former cheerleader, she's used to the smell of sweat. Ethel I bet she's been adding a little of her own sweat, if I know Sally Mae. Ed know about this? Sarah About as much as he knows about anything she does. I swear that man is about as dense as cold oatmeal. Ethel He's not the only man who was hornswaggled by a wife before. I could name at least one... Sarah I'll see you later with more news, soon as I get back from Atlanta. Ethel You be careful, girl. Don't pick up any more seminary students like that John Love fellow. Sarah Ethel, you know I've learned my lesson. I only let gentlemen in big cars pick up the check these days. (exits UR) Ethel (to Luke's picture) Sarah sure has changed since that last fling of hers. Makes me wonder sometimes, a gal like that just can't sit still with one man. At least, if I ever do go out with anybody again, I won't have to make pot roast first. (Ed enters UR) Ed (Was that my wife just leaving here a bit ago? Ethel Yep. Were you looking for her? Ed I was trying to stay out of her way. I don't know what has her riled today but she's been meaner than a cottonmouth moccasin. Ethel I noticed something along those lines but she didn't say and I didn't ask. Ed Ethel, can I ask you a question? Ethel Sure. Fire away. Ed Do you think Sally Mae still loves me? Ethel Much as she ever did, if that's any comfort. Ed, Sally Mae will always be in love with herself first and whoever is left second. I hope that doesn't hurt too bad but it's the truth. Ed I know, it's just that sometimes I think I could be doing better as a husband, like they say in those magazines you women read. A more sensitive man, if you know what I mean. Ethel Well, keeping an eye on your checkbook might be a good start towards sensitivity. Ed Hell, Ethel, I can't say 'no' to my little girl, you know that. Ethel And you never could. That doesn't make you a bad husband, but it just might make you a broke one, that's all. Look, let me give you a copy of a new magazine that just came in, it's got a great article on rekindling the old flame. Maybe that will help you get to her again. (goes behind the curtain into the back room, ULC) Ed I'll try anything, Ethel. Sally Mae barely lets me get near her, let alone kindle any flame. Sometimes I wonder if she's been having an affair. (Ethel coughs loudly off-stage) You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? (Ethel comes back in with a magazine, hands it to Ed) Ethel Here you go, the latest in firestarter material. Read this and see what happens. Who knows, you might get a roaring fire going tonight. And no, I don't know about any affairs, and I probably wouldn't say so even if I did. You know I can't stand to gossip. Ed Thanks, Ethel. I know we were never close friends or anything but you are the only person, male or female, I can talk to around this place. And I'll let you know if the wood is still dry or not. (leaves with the magazine UR) Ethel (turns to Luke's picture) Dry wood, firestarter, why can't we just say what we mean. If he can get her into the bedroom, it'll be worth a whole page in the weekly paper. (Jessie Lou enters UR; she is dressed in a formal suit) Ethel Well, how's things with you, Mrs. Coltrane? Jessie Lou Fine, just fine. You wouldn't by any chance have some of that special shoe polish in the back, would you? I need to shine my husband's shoes really nice for the party for our local celebrity. Ethel And who might that be? Jessie Lou Why, Edwin Carter, of course. As If you didn't know before anyone else in this town that he was coming. As a matter fact, I'm surprised you let Sally Mae get to him first. I would have expected you would have kept him all to yourself. Ethel Jessie Lou, this may come as a surprise to you any everyone else around this town but Edwin Carter left me and this place a long time ago. Any feeling I might have had for him left with him. And as for him being a celebrity, that's a matter for serious debate. I know he's a famous writer and all that but that just don't cut butter with me. I don't even like his books and I doubt we will have much more than that in common any more in any case. Jessie Lou Don't get riled about it. We just thought, that is, the girls thought things might happen again, that's all. No offense. Ethel None taken, I just get a mite touchy about folks assuming they know my personal life better than me, that's all. Anyway, I should have a jar of that polish you need back there. I'll go look. Make yourself at home, pour a cup of coffee while you're at it. (goes behind the curtain) Jessie Lou (loudly) I'm all coffeed out, thanks anyway. I know Sally Mae thinks I let her take advantage of me, with her hosting the tea and all but these days, I'm just too busy for all that social responsibility. Are you going? Ethel (looks through the curtain) Maybe, but out of curiosity only. (ducks behind again) Jessie Lou You know about curiosity and the cat? Ethel (re-enters, with a small jar) Don't fret about this cat, girl. I landed on my feet last time and I suspect I can do it again, without any help. Jessie Lou All right but don't say I didn't warn you. Old flames burn brightest, I always heard. Oh, by the way, he's here. Ethel He who? Jessie Lou Edwin Carter. He's just outside, talking to Ed and some of the old gang from school. He told me he'd come in shortly. Thought you might like to get ready. (exits UR) Ethel (to Luke's picture) What are you staring at? Get ready, she says. Ready for what, a man who left almost thirty years ago? I know, you were jealous even later but I did marry you and not him. (looks in the mirror behind her counter; Edwin enters as she is turned away from the door) Still, it wouldn't hurt to spruce up just a little bit. Not that I really give a damn, Scarlet. (laughs at her little joke, sees Edwin in the mirror, turns with a start) Edwin Hello, Ethel. It's been a long time. Ethel (stammers) A very long time. How are you? Edwin Still in love with you. (Curtain) Act II (Following immediately) (The lights are down in the shop but we see Ethel and Edwin in freeze. Lucy's voice, off-stage, opens the act.) Lucy Now don't that beat all? Still in love with her after all this time. I guess some folks don't ever get over it. Right now, Ethel is probably in a state of serious shock. On the one hand, she can't stand his books but on the other, she always held onto a bit of him over the years, too. Of course, while this is working it's way out, Sarah and her husband have taken on a new business which will play an important part in the business to come and Jessie lou, well, let's just say she is too busy to compete with Sally Mae lately because she has someone on her mind, too. Well, let's get on with it, before supper gets cold. (lights up slowly on the shop) Ethel Still what? Edwin Carter, have you gone completely out of your mind? Edwin I always was crazy when it came to you. Didn't you feel the same way, at least, just a little? Ethel It's been more than twenty-five years... Edwin More like thirty but who's counting. All I know is that I'm back and I had to see you as soon as I could. Ethel You left, I married... Edwin I married, too. Ethel How many times was it? Edwin Three, but don't remind me. I think that was my problem, they all reminded me of you. Ethel That sure don't make sense. If they reminded you of me and you loved me, you could have settled with at least one of them for more than a few years. Edwin I tried but they weren't you. Ethel I read one was red-headed, one a blond and one a brunette. Edwin I thought you didn't keep up with my life. Ethel I didn't, I just happened to see an article in one of Sarah's magazines. Edwin How is Sarah? I seem to remember she had a thing for boys. Ethel Still does, but she managed to get married and has two great boys of her own now. She and Jake are buying the old nut house outside of town. Edwin That sort of fits Sarah. The nut house, that is. And how about the others, Sally Mae, Jessie Lou, the fellows... Ethel About the same. Sally Mae is still feuding with Jessie Lou over who stole whose boyfriend. Sally Mae and Ed got married but she strays from time to time. As for the others, I don't know much more than what they tell me whenever they come by the shop. Edwin Nice place, by the way. How did you come by it? Ethel We, Luke and me, owned it and I ran it as a sideline. Nowadays, it's more like my home. I even have a room out back where I stay. I sold the house after Luke died, too big for just one person. Edwin I'm sorry about your husband. He was a good man. Ethel Yes, he was but I'd just as soon talk about something else, if you don't mind. Edwin All right, let's talk about us. Ethel Not what I had in mind but I don't suppose I can stop you. Edwin Not once I get started. Now where were we... (Sally Mae enters, UR) Sally Mae Oh, Mr. Carter, may I call you Edwin? I am sooo glad to see you. I hope you are having a good time so far. I just wanted to say how glad we, that is the ladies of Literary Society, are that you found time to come home for a visit. Edwin Actually, I had several reasons for coming back. (looks at Ethel) The main one was to do some research for a new book, a historical novel about the town and its contributions. Sally Mae That's wonderful, a book about our town, I mean, your town, I mean... Ethel We all know what you mean. Can I do something for you? Sally Mae Oh, right, I almost forgot, I need some of those special candles of yours, you know the ones. Ethel You mean the ones that smell like vanilla, I suppose I have some back there somewhere. I'll have to do some digging, might take a while. I'll call you when I find them. Anything else? (makes a head gesture toward the door; Sally Mae misses it at first, then sees it.) Sally Mae Oh, no, that's all for now. (begins backing toward the door, acting awkward) I'll see you both later, at the tea, later, that is. (exits UR) Edwin (laughing) Is she always that obvious? Ethel Only when she speaks. A book about the town, that's a good one. Edwin It is the absolute truth. My publisher wants me to "capture the flavor of my roots". Of course, he's a yankee from New England and knows absolutely nothing about the South. But he wants me to write about the old days, what part the town played in the Civil War, all that stuff. Ethel Seems like we never got real close to the war, unless you want to count that old story about the old man who died of a heart attack when the yankees tried to steal his horses. Edwin You and I both know that but the reading public doesn't know beans about this part of the country. Hell, most of them think the War between the States was over Mexico. Anyway, I'll do some reading in the library, talk to some of the old timers, make up a few lies and I'll have another best-seller. Ethel Doesn't seem right, somehow. Seems downright dishonest. Edwin It'll be what we call a "fictionalized" version of the truth. Sort of like those T.V. movies that are "based on a true story". But that was just one of the reasons I came back. You are the other one. Ethel Now, hold on a minute. You left, we both got married, you a few more times than me, but you missed me so much that it took nearly thirty years to come back and say it? Edwin Something like that. Ethel, all I can say is that I know what I missed by leaving you and if I can get any of that back, I'll be a happy man for whatever time we have left together. Will you at least let me try and court you again? Ethel I haven't been courted for quite a spell. Why not? It would sure be more fun than digging in the boxes back there for candles and shoe laces. O.K. Mr. Famous Author, court away. But I warn you, I'm not like those California girls with their giggles and their suntans. Edwin That's what I'm counting on. It's a deal. I have to go for now, though. I have a meeting with the town council, to sort out a few details about the book. Ethel If I know those scoundrels, they'll all be wanting it to sound as if their grandfathers were riding along side of General Lee himself. Watch your wallet, while you're at it. Some of that research might cost a few bucks, if they have anything to do with it. Edwin I think I can take care of the local powers-that-be. Anyway, I better get on before they start worrying about getting left out. Ethel I'll see you later? Edwin Tonight, dinner, at the hotel restaurant. How about seven? Ethel Me and you in a public restaurant. Well, I guess I can afford five dollars. Edwin What? Ethel Never mind, it's just a little secret between me and Sarah. I'll see you at seven, with appetite intact. (he exits UR) (Ethel turns to Luke's picture) So, I'm having dinner with him. It's not like we're getting serious. Besides, you always knew about him, so be quiet. (phone on counter rings) Hello, oh hi, Lucy. I was just thinking about you. How's your ma? That bad, huh. Well, if I can do anything, let me know. The linament still works? Good. I guess you heard that Sally Mae was looking for you. More silver to polish. I told her I would pass it along but I doubted you would take the job, especially after that fiasco a few years ago. What about Edwin? Yes, I saw him. Matter of fact, he just left. Yes, he has asked me out. Now don't you start. I'm having dinner with him, that's all. Yes, I'm going to the party but only out of curiousity. I don't trust him just yet, not completely. Yes, I promise to fill you in on all the details, if there are any. Yes, I'll tell Sally Mae to...well, I'll put it a bit nicer than that but I think she'll catch your meaning. Bye, hon, take care and tell your ma to keep that wool scarf handy, helps keep out the stiffness. (Hangs up, sighs, turns and goes behind the curtain UL. Jessie Lou enters UR, looks around, then calls out.) Jessie Lou Ethel, you here? Ethel (from off-stage) Back here, looking for some candles for the party. You need anything while I'm here? Jessie Lou No, not that I can think of. That polish worked just fine. Can we talk a minute? There's something I got to get off my chest. Ethel (re-enters) Sure, girl, what is is? Jessie Lou You might have heard my husband and I were not exactly getting along recently. Ethel Honey, I hear lots of things, I just don't pay attention to most of them. (We see Edwin outside the door but they are oblivious to his presence.) Jessie Lou Well, what you may not have heard is that the preacher and I have sort of, well, sort of been seeing each other. He's just as unhappy as I am and we like the same things, gospel music, apple pie at the church socials and all sorts of things. Ethel Now, before you go to unloading too much, are you sure you want to tell me all this? Jessie Lou Ethel, you are the only person I know that will keep secrets and that's what this has to remain, a deep, dark secret. But I just had to tell somebody before I burst at the seams. Ethel Well, we can't have that happen. All right, how did it get started and what are you going to do about it? Jessie Lou After that night at Sally Mae's, you remember the poetry reading? That was the night James, the Rev.Caldwell, got into the punch and started grabbing me. It was a revelation, an epiphany. My husband hadn't done that since I can't remember when. I was pretty looped, too and I must have responded a little more than I remember. Anyway, about a year later, he, that is, the preacher, passed me a note in the choir loft during the offeratory. Ethel It took him a whole year? Tallk about conservative. Jessie Lou It shows how thoughtful he really is, not rushing things. Anyway, he wanted me to meet him in his office later that afternoon. I didn't go but he kept on sending me notes until I finally met him. We talked a long time, just sat there and talked about the bible. When he finally kissed me, we were into the Song of Solomon. Ethel Sounds like someone else I know. Jessie Lou (oblivious to Ethel's comments) We've been meeting there and other places for the past year. Ethel, I'm so ashamed and I'm a little scared his wife might find out. Ethel That's the first thing I'd worry about. She's meaner than Sally Mae during bargain days at the World Mart. Anyway, what are you going to do? Jessie Lou I don't have any idea. I think I love him and I know he loves me, least ways, he sure acts like a man head over heels. Just last Sunday, he was preaching about the ten commandments and when he got to "Thou shalt commit adultry", he looked over at me, accidentally, and the poor man completely lost his place. He stammered around for a good minute before he called for a hymn from the choir to cover for himself. I thought I would die. I just knew everybody in the congregation was looking at the two of us, knowing us for the sinners we are. Ethel Honey, there is sin and there is sin. Seems to me that the two of you are unhappy with the matches you made and found something better in each other. Of course, that won't help if your respective spouses catch on. Jessie Lou I hope you don't mind me unloading on you like this but I had to tell someone... Ethel I know, before you burst. Look, it seems that he has some thinking to do as well as you. Have you asked him what he wants to do? Jessie Lou We talked about it and he said he wants to get a divorce. It would mean he would have to leave his job here and we would have to move somewhere else, somewhere bigger where the folks don't take the commandments so seriously. Ethel Whatever it takes to make it work out. But I can tell you folks are not much different when it comes to what they expect out of their preachers. If he stays a minister, he might want to think about changing religions, maybe to one that is a little more relaxed than the Baptists. Jessie Lou Thanks for listening. I know we have to work it all out ourselves. I just don't want anyone to get hurt, that's all. I got to be going. I'm having the Ladies Auxilliary over this afternoon. I need a few hours to get myself in the right mood before the biddies, I mean the ladies start talking about everybody's business. You know, religion would be a lot nicer if we acted more like we preached. Ethel Amen to that but don't expect too much. Humans seem prone toward making rules so strict that we all break at least one or two a day. Gives us things to gossip about, I guess. See you later and I'll keep your secret as long as you want me to. (Edwin runs away quickly just before Jessie Lou exits UR.) Ethel (to the picture) Another one bites the dust. I can't say I blame her, though. That husband of hers is stuffier than an old sofa. As for Mrs. Caldwell, she's had so many facelifts, if she smiled, the stitches would pop loose and send her face into the next county. Funny how people get together with the wrong mates. Not us, Luke, we were a good match. If there was a better one, we didn't know about it. Including Edwin Carter. (Sally Mae enters UR.) Sally Mae Well, did you find the candles? Ethel Hello to you, too. Yes, I found them and they're still in pretty good shape. And I told Lucy you were needing her for the party. Sally Mae What did she say? Ethel Something about putting the silver where it's always dark, something like that. I think that means "no". Sally Mae Just as well, after the way she let me down the last time. Ethel That's not the way I remember it but you'll have to do without her this time. Sally Mae By the way, have you heard about Sarah? Ethel Not lately. Why? What is she up to? Sally Mae Her husband is having her put away. (We see Edwin at the door, listenting again.) Ethel What in the world are you talking about? Sally Mae I heard it just a little while ago. He was telling Ed how he was sending her to the nut house. Ethel (laughing) So he's finally going to do it, eh? Sally Mae I thought you'd take that sort of news more seriously. After all, she is your best friend. Ethel Yes and I'll miss her. The nut house, you say you heard him tell Ed the nut house, those exact words? Sally Mae I know what I heard. I was just outside Ed's office and I heard Jake tell him precisely that. Ethel I want to thank you for telling me first, before it became common knowledge. Sally Mae You know I would not repeat such a serious thing to just anybody. Besides, I thought you should know, you being friends and all. Ethel You said that already. At least I know how high I rank on your list. Well, I'll have to go visit her, after the medication has taken effect. Don't want to disturb her treatment right away or anything like that. Sally Mae I must say I cannot understand your attitude. If it were my best friend... Ethel Who might that be? Sally Mae Ethel Goodwin, that is all I can stand for one day. I don't need to stay where I am being constantly insulted. Ethel Don't get your feathers all riled. Besides, Sarah isn't going to any lunatic asylum. She and Jake are buying the old pecan warehouse, what we used to call the nut house. Jake's fixing it up and he must have sent Sarah out there to look the place over. Sally Mae Are you sure about that? Ethel As sure as I can be. She already came by to tell me all about it. Sally Mae Oh, dear. Ethel Oh what? Don't tell me you've already told somebody else about this? Sally Mae Maybe one or two people, not many. But I think one of them was Mr. Carter. Thing was, he seemed awfully interested, more than just passing curiousity. Ethel He did, did he? Well, don't worry, I already told him the real story. But you better do some fixing with the other "one or two" before that story of yours gets all over town. That's all Jake and Sarah need. Hell, Charlie Simms over at the bank might not see things their way if he heard something like that. Get on and fix it, now. Sally Mae Oh, Ethel, I'm so sorry, I just thought... Ethel Just get on with it and quit thinking so much, it might wear out your brain. I'll let Sarah know so she can head off some of the backwash. (Sally Mae exits UR in a hurry. Ethel looks at Luke's picture, shakes her head and picks up the phone.) Sarah, honey, I got some bad news for you. Sally Mae overheard Jake telling Ed about the nut house and thought you were going to the real one. Yes, I set her straight but she made some stops before coming by here. Yes, I'll tell anybody who asks but I thought you should be on the alert. This could get sticky. Take care, sugar, don't let her foolishness get you down. Besides, the notion of Jake putting you away was kind of funny. No, I don't think you're any crazier than the rest of us. Yes, Edwin came by. And yes, he asked me to dinner. I'll pay you the five later. Yes, I'll tell you everything, not that there'll be abything much to tell. Yes, he's still goodlooking. Well, maybe a little thick around the middle. Bye, talk to you later. (looks up to Luke) Granny would be downright tickled at all this. "Too much sugar for a dime", she's say. And yes, I'll tell you all about dinner, so long as you promise not to laugh too much. (Curtain) Act III Lucy (voice-over) Sarah's in the nut house, Sally Mae's in the equipment room and Jessie Lou is in the vestry. Things are getting mighty interesting, especially with that Mr. Carter snooping around. He may be in love with Ethel but I suspect his novel will have more to do with the present than the past and we'll see more hysteria than history before this is all over. Well, got to go now but let's sneak a look at Ethel's date. (The scene is set adjacent to the store, as a cafe with a table and two chairs arranged for effect. A single spot covers the area. Edwin is seated and Ethel enters UR as the curtain opens.) Scene One (That evening) (Curtain Opens) Ethel Hope I didn't make you wait too long. I couldn't decide what to wear, it's been so long since...well, it's been a long time. Edwin You're right on time. I just ordered drinks, I hope that was all right. Scotch for me and a bourbon and water for you. Ethel That's something else I haven't done in a long time. Bourbon is fine but how did you know? Edwin I asked around. Part of my writer's skills is asking questions. Ethel I just hope you don't ask me too many questions. I don't answer many. Edwin The only question I have for you is 'are you hungry?' I understand they serve a very good steak here. Ethel I guess I can answer that one. Starved. And yes, you may order, Mr. Carter. Edwin Thank you, Mrs. Goodwin. (motions to a waiter who enters from UR carrying a tray with two drinks) Waiter Here you are, sir, Scotch for the gentleman and bourbon for the lady. Are you ready to order? Edwin I think so. Let's see (picks up a menu) I think we'll start with two house salads, house dressing on both and two ribeyes, medium rare, baked potatoes and a side of butter and sour cream. Ethel I'll have the same. (laughs at the waiter's confusion) I think what he ordered will do fine for the two of us. (the waiter leaves UR) Edwin You do like to get to people, don't you? Ethel No more than you. How did you think I would take your announcement back at the store? Edwin I had no idea, I didn't even know what I was going to say to you until I actually walked in and saw you there. Ethel I still don't know what to say. Thirty years is a lot of time. Edwin Not too much, I hope. Ethel I suppose not but don't expect me to be that sweet young thing I was when we were dating in high school. Edwin You're even better now. You're lovely and I prefer my women "mature" these days. Ethel You mean after the teenyboppers you married? Edwin Especially after them. I must have been absolutely, totally insane, not to mention out a few bucks in alimony. Ethel "Mature", is that the word for "older" these days. Sounds like something out of a Jane Austin novel, the "mature lady". Edwin And don't forget the "mature gentleman", with my extra inches and the grey hairs. Ethel Looks fine from where I sit. Edwin While we're waiting for dinner, do you mind a few questions, to fill me in on what's been happening since I left? Ethel A few questions? About what? Edwin Oh, about the old gang, how they are doing. Ethel I already told you about Sally Mae and Sarah and Jessie Lou. Most of our classmates either left home or married and settled into small-town dullness. Edwin Tell me more about Sarah and Jake's "nut house". Ethel Oh that. I hope you didn't take Sally Mae's version seriously. They just bought the pecan warehouse, going to fix it up and sell to the tourists coming through on the highway. Edwin I remember, outside of town. Are the plum trees still out there, off the highway? Ethel I suppose so, I haven't been out on those dirt roads in ages. Wild hog plums, sweet as any fruit you might set your mouth to. I almost forgot, it's been so long. Edwin We used to go out there on Sunday afternoons in the summer, pick a mess of plums and those great big blackberries that grew along the fence. You remember the time we scared up that rattlesnake? Ethel I sure do. I don;t think I ever saw anybody run as fast as you did. You turned around in midair and made it all the way to the car without your feet ever touching the ground. Edwin How could you see that? You were running as fast as me. Ethel If I recollect, I beat you to the car. That poor old snake must have thought the devil was after him, with all the shouting and hollering. Edwin We left a whole bucket of berries and plums behind. Ethel I sure wasn't going back for them. Edwin Those were fine times, my dear Ethel. What happened? Ethel You left right after high school, I stayed here, that's what happened. Edwin I was a fool. Ethel No argument from me on that point. Edwin You don't have to agree so fast. I have an idea. Let's have the food served up in my room, we can get more comfortable and talk without interruption. Ethel Your room? You think that's a good idea. This is still a small town with big ears and even bigger tongues. Edwin If you like, I'll go up first, get the place straightened up a bit. You can make a discrete entrance in a few minutes. That should take care of the tongues. Ethel I really shouldn't... Edwin But you will. Ethel I will. But just for dinner and talk, no monkey business. Edwin I promise on my honor as a writer. Ethel I would like a little more assurance than that, given the reputation most writers seem to have. Edwin All right, on my agent's honor. He's a fine, upstanding man who tells nothing but the truth so long as he collects his ten percent. Ethel Maybe I should be eating with him. Edwin I'll go up now. Give me about ten minutes. Room 210, just off the elevator to the right. (gets up, motions to the waiter off-stage and leaves. We can hear the two making small talk. Ethel picks up her drink, drains it in a gulp.) Ethel (to herself) It might take a few more of these if I'm going to make it through this night. Damned if I thought he could get to me so easy. I swore I would be a little harder to get than this. Oh well, it has been a while and most of me still remembers how things work. (calls the waiter over) Waiter Yes ma'm? Ethel Give me another bourbon, a double, I think you call it. (he nods, leaves UR. Sarah enters UR) Ethel What are you doing here? I thought you were off the the shopping malls of the metropolis. Sarah I was but I couldn't leave you in your hour of need. Ethel Honey, what I need is another drink and that's on the way. He's way too smooth for me. Sarah And you said the flame was out? Ethel Well, there might have been a few coals still glowing under the ashes. Sarah Where is he? Ethel If I tell you, will you swear to keep it to yourself? Sarah On a stack of bibles. Ethel He's up in his room, getting our dinner sent up, with me to follow. Sarah You're going up to his room? Ethel, I am surprised at you. Ethel You're surprised? It came as a bit of a shock to me,too. I could have sworn it was somebody else saying "yes". I just hope I'm doing the right thing. Sarah It could be worse. Sally Mae and some of the other biddies could be sitting here, watching. Ethel I already thought about that but I always said it would be a sad day when I gave a tinker's damn about what they thought. Hell, it's my life and I plan to live it the way I want to. Let them say what they will. Sarah I never heard you so determined. Ethel I never had such a good reason. Edwin sounds like he means it and the least I can do is play it out. If he's sincere, that's all to the better. If he's lying through his capped, white teeth, I'll know and can get rid of him with a clear, if slightly tarnished conscience. Well, I better get up there before I change my mind. ( the waiter brings out the drink and Ethel shoots in down.) A little extra courage never hurt. (she leaves UR) Sarah Oh, waiter, could you please bring me a drink, a scotch on the rocks. (to herself) May as well enjoy the evening, even if it's at home. (Sally Mae and Jessie Lou enter UR) Sarah Well, look what the dog dragged in. What are you two ladies doing out tonight? Sally Mae Just taking some time off from home and husbands. We thought we might drop in and see how the hotel renovations were coming along. Jessie Lou That's right. Just dropped by, nothing special. Sarah Dropped by, my ass. You were spying on Ethel. Shame on you both. Sally Mae How can you say such a thing? We were doing nothing of the kind. Ethel is here? That's the first I heard about it. Jessie Lou The very first. We would never spy on a friend like Ethel. Sarah A friend, eh? When was the last time either of you were in this hotel? Jessie Lou Let me see, that would have been last Christmas, the Moose Christmas dinner... Sally Mae Anyway, it's getting late and we have to run. Things to do, you know. Sarah I know. Just don't let me hear any talk about Ethel and Edwin. If I do, I'll know where it came from. Jessie Lou You mean it's true, that Ethel is here with him? I mean, we heard that... Sarah I know what you think you heard but forget it. She deserves just as much privacy as any of us and that's what she's going to get. Now let's all skeedaddle before I quit being so nice. Sally Mae You don't have to be pushy. I can take a hint. Sarah Then take one and get. (escorts them both to the "door" UR, follows them out, but looks back inside as she goes) Take care, good friend. And lots of luck with whatever happens. (exits) (Lights down, then back up on the shop for...) Scene Two (Ethel is dusting and making busy. Sarah enters UR) Sarah Well? Ethel Well, what? Can't you see I'm busy? Sarah What about last night? I came by the store around ten and you were still gone. That's mighty late for an old homebody like you. Ethel If you must know, I was still with Edwin although Lord knows why. Sarah O.K., tell me everything. Ethel That might take a while. There's a lot I'm still not sure about. Sarah Let me get some coffee first. (pours a cup from the pot on the counter) Now, the whole story. Ethel Sarah, I really thought this might work out but he out and out lied, least ways he lied about the book. It isn't a historical novel, it's more a "Peyton Place" and we're the main characters. Sarah Then you were right about not trusting him. Ethel Well, not quite. I did get rather "trusting" for a while. We went up and had supper and some more drinks. I guess the booze must have softened my brains a little because next thing I know, we're on the bed, cuddling like two teenagers. That's when I had to go pee. Sarah Bad timing? Ethel Bad bladder. Anyway, I went to the bathroom. That's when I found his notebook, on the table next to the toilet. That hotel is fancier than I thought. They even had a telephone next to the toilet, I guess so you can get in touch with folks even when.. . Sarah Forget about the telephone and get on with the story. Ethel All right, just keep your britches on. Anyway, he must have left it there because I know he wouldn't have wanted anyone to see this, especially not me. Sarah And what was in it? Ethel Notes about you and the nut house, Sally Mae's fling with the football coach, Jessie Lou's hand-holding with Rev.Caldwell, and a whole lots more that he could have only found out about if he'd been snooping around and listening at keyholes and such. . Sarah What did you do after that? Ethel I made an excuse about a headache, which was true because all that bourbon went straight there. I left with him protesting that he hadn't meant to move so fast and all. Trouble was that I was enjoying the ride up until then. I came home and just got up a few minutes ago myself. What can I do, Sarah? I can't pretend not to like him but he lied and that hurts. If he lied about the book, he was probably lying about me and him and ... Sarah Maybe not, maybe he just had to make up something about the book as an excuse to come here in the first place. You know what he writes as well as anybody. Ethel Not that I've actually read that trash... Sarah Are you going to confront him? Ethel No, I'm going to expose him. Sarah How in the blazes are you going to do that? Ethel I don't know yet but the first thing I have to find out is whether he's really serious about the two of us. Then I have to figure out how to get him to drop the whole damn book idea. If he was lying on all accounts, then I'll cut him up and serve him for stew. I'm still mad as hell about the whole thing, me and him at our age, foolish to begin with. Sarah Your age has nothing to do with it. It's your pride that's too old and stiff. If you love him, tell him so. Then worry about the book. Ethel But what about the things he plans to write about you and the others? Sarah The women will be the only ones who read it anyway, if it does happen to get written. Jake and Ed would as soon pick up a snake as a book, you know that. And besides, we'd be the only ones who really knew who was who. Ethel Maybe so but I would feel a whole lot better if I knew there was not going to be a book. You're right, I need to take it slow. I don't want to run him off, not just yet. I have an idea. You remember Sally Mae's plans for that tea. Maybe I can work something out to make him confess about the book there. Sarah And if he doesn't? Ethel I may just have to get back into his bedroom one more time, for "research". Sarah And maybe another round of dinner and drinks? Ethel If that's what it takes, that's what I'll do, even if it means compromising my standards. Sarah Sounds like something I might say. O.K., I'm with you, just let me know what I can do to help. I'd like to see any male bastard get his due, especially one who lies to my best friend. Ethel I'll call you later, when my head clears up a little more. Right now, I'd have a hard time planning a handshake, let alone something like catching a skunk, if that's what he is. Sarah (starts for the door UR) You do that, and soon, before you get cold feet and decide to drop the whole thing. (exits UR) Ethel (picks up the telephone and dials) Sally Mae, this is Ethel. What time is that tea? Good, I'll be there. Listen, I think you should know about that book Edwin planning. Well, he's got dirt on just about everyone in town and I think he plans to make us out to be the biggest fools since we elected Newt to Congress. Now here's what I want you to do...(lights fade, then up. Ethel is now talking to Jessie Lou) Honey, that's the gospel. I found the notes, well, never mind where I found them. The main thing is that we have to do something before he starts putting these stories down on paper or computer or whatever writers use these days. Now here's what I want you to do at the tea... (lights down again, end of scene) Scene Three (Edwin and Ethel are seated at the restaurant table RC, dimly lit for effect. The waiter has just placed drinks at the table and is leaving UR) Edwin I thought you had gotten cold feet after the other night. Ethel It wasn't my feet and cold is not the right adjective. But I wanted to set things right, if I could. Edwin Well, I'm glad you came back. We still have a lot to talk about. Ethel A lot. Edwin, if I asked you something straight out, what sort of answer could I expect? Edwin Sounds like a loaded question. What would you like to know? Ethel About that book of yours, what is really about? Edwin I told you, my agent wants to get the "flavor"... Ethel That's all, nothing sinister or like your other books, all full of sex and sin and the like? Edwin That's all. Just an innocent historical perspective on the hometown of a famous writer, sort of a puff piece, you know, like the books that show up on talk shows to make folks feel good again. Ethel That's a relief. There's been talk about some expose, sort of a southern Peyton Place and I just wanted to put the rumors to rest. Edwin I hope that puts you more at ease. You seem tighter than an overwound watch. Now, if that's all you have to ask, let's go up and open that bottle of champaign I have on ice in my room. Ethel Once more into the lion's den or something like that. O.K., but you have to promise that if I have more than one glass, you'll protect my honor. Edwin I would fight anyone who would demean your honor, dear lady. Ethel Then you do love me? Edwin More than my poor words can ever express. Ethel I just hope that is enough. (They leave UR on that note, with Edwin looking a bit puzzled. Lights fade, end of scene.) Scene Four (lights gradually up on the shop. Ethel is coming in from the back as Sarah, Sally Mae and Jessie Lou all enter UR) Sarah Well, honey bun, you did it. Fixed him good. Jessie Lou That lowdown bas... Sally Mae And to think I considered him a great writer. He's nothing but a, a.. Ethel Hold on, all of you. I didn't do anything but keep us all from looking like cheap whores, that's all. Besides, he still wants to see me later on today, before he leaves town. He's probably going for good this time and I can't say I'm happy about it. Sarah But he was going to.. Ethel What, write another cheap novel with lots of sexy details. That was part of it but I wish you could have heard him after the party. I felt downright ashamed for doing it to him. Sally Mae All you did was show him up for the liar and scoundrel he really is, why, he's no better than the Yankee carpetbaggers that cleaned out my greatgreatgrandaddy, just a ... Ethel Maybe so but he acted like he really cared for me and after all this time, too. Sarah I liked it when Sally Mae introduced him. "May I present Mr. Edwin Carter, the greatest living smut writer of our times." I thought he was going to choke on his chicken bits. Jessie Lou And when he asked how I was doing and I told him quite well for an adulteress, I thought he would croak right there on the spot. Sally Mae Well, my favorite moment was when Ethel pulled out those notes and waved them under his conniving nose. He could hardly deny the evidence, not when he was almost eating it along with the celery stick. Ethel Now I told you I don't feel very good about the whole thing. If he'd just listened to me yesterday before the party. Sarah What happened up there? Sally Mae Up where? Ethel Never mind. I went up to see him, around five. I told him how sorry I was that I got "sick" the night before. He was all gentlemanly about the whole thing. I asked him if he had anything he wanted to tell me about anything, trying not to be too specific. Sarah Hell, hon, you know you can't be subtle with men, they aren't built for it. Ethel As I was saying, I asked him and he said "no", right out without pausing. I asked him then if he was still doing a historical book on the town and he said "yes". About then, he got a little suspicious and wanted to know if anything was bothering me. I denied it, of course and asked him, hypothetically, if he still wanted to court me, even if something terrible were to happen. He said "yes" again and I left. As far as I could tell, he planned to stick to his stories, all two of them. Sarah And that's when you knew you had to expose him? Ethel Then, and just before, when I looked at the notes again. The notebook was still in the bathroom. I heard writers were strange but I didn't know they worked in the can. I slipped a few of them into my pocket. That's what I pulled out at the party. Sarah You must have pulled out the one about me and the nut house. He acted real strange when I mentioned it early on. Ethel I just wish he'd come clean before I had to do it. (Ed enters UR) Ed All the chickens in the hen house and I'm the only rooster. Call me lucky. Sally Mae What do you want, Ed? Can't you see we're talking? Ed I just wanted to know what the hell happened last night. I figured Ethel was the only one who would tell me something straight out, without trying to be too subtle. Sarah Ed, If she were to tell you, will you go away and leave us to talk? Ed Sure, I will. Nothing like a bunch of hens to make a man feel uneasy. Ethel We were just discussing Edwin's book, you know, the one about the town. Ed I seem to recall somebody mentioning that last night. But that don't tell me why Mr. Carter lit out of the party like somebody set his tail on fire. Sally Mae Ed, go. Count your fertilizer sacks or something. I'll see you at supper. Ed All right, I'm going but I still say something happened last night and I'll figure it out, even if you gals won't help. (exits UR) Ethel Fat chance. He'd do well to figure out what month it was if he didn't get those girlie calendars from the fertilizer company. Sarah Now back to last night. I liked to have died when you read some of the notes, especially the one that went, "a woman who loved a married man of the cloth". (Jessie Lou turns and coughs) Jessie Lou Or the one about the man whose husband shacked up with a waitress at a truck stop, what did it say, "lust among the diesel tanks and cole slaw." Sally Mae My favorite was the one about the woman "who longed for love in a Holiday Inn". Ethel I think we've said enough. He should be here any minute and I want to see him alone, if you three can find something else to do besides gawk and squawk. All Three We're just leaving. See you later. (exit together UR. Ethel looks to Luke's picture.) Ethel It's time for me to put up or shut up. Hope you know that I really did love you, no matter what happens with Edwin. (Edwin enters UR) Edwin I can't stay long. My train leaves in half an hour. Ethel Edwin... Edwin No, don't say you're sorry. I'm the one who blew the whole thing. I was afraid you wouldn't understand if I told you about the novel. Ethel Not much trust. Edwin You have to understand. It's been six years since I wrote a book and sold it. I started three but they all sounded like crap. My agent thought I had one more chance to bring back some of the fire from the earlier work. Hell, half of my books are in the "deep discount" bins and the critics were starting to say I was out of step with the readers. Maybe so, but I had to try. Ethel I wouldn't have cared, so long as no one here got hurt and if you had been honest with me. I did give you a chance. Edwin When did you find out? Ethel Up in your room, when I had to use the bathroom. I found the notes then. Edwin Careless of me. Ethel And you left them there, when I went back. Do you do all your writing in the john? Edwin I had been going over them before dinner the other night, Once you came up, I totally forgot about the notes and the book. All I could think of was you and.., Ethel And what was about to happen, I know. Didn't you know I was ready to give myself to you, and damn the big ears. Edwin All I know is that I messed up twice, once by leaving and once by coming back. Ethel Oh, I don't know. You sure got things all stirred up in a few days. We haven't had such excitement since Sally Mae brought that young poet of hers here a couple of years ago. Edwin Still mad at me? Ethel No, at myself. The book wouldn't have been so bad. You were going to disguise everybody, weren't you? Edwin Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent, something like that? Ethel Something like that. I know these gals around here are about as innocent as a whore in Sunday school but they are my friends, lumps and all. I couldn't see them threatened or hurt by you or anybody else. Edwin You are as loyal as you are lovely. Thanks for the lesson in real morality. Ethel What time did you say that train left? Edwin Why? Ethel I just thought you might could catch a later train. I have a bottle of champaign back there (motions to the curtain UL) and it would be a shame to waste it. It may not be as fancy as that Dom fellow you had at the hotel but I reckon it'll do for the occasion. Edwin I guess I could make it later. You sure this is all right? Ethel It's my shop, I reckon I can take a few minutes or so "sorting stock". Edwin Sort away, I'm right behind you. (they exit, hand in hand UL; lights fade. ----------- Scene Five The Next Morning (Ethel is dusting, singing a happy song when Sarah enters UR) Sarah Well, girl, tell me all about it. Ethel All I can say for now is that we got to know each other a whole lot better, in the biblical sense, if you follow me. Sarah Where is he now? Ethel Oh, he had to leave, had an appointment with his agent to work on the book deal. Seems he decided to keep things completely fictional and in a different setting. Sarah In that case, I want a copy as soon as it comes out. I suspect the others will be relieved, too. Ethel That reminds me, what happened to Sally Mae and Jessie Lou last night, after you all left? Sarah Oh, nothing much. Sally Mae had to "go", something about some sports equipment she had to check out. Jessie Lou and I went to the cafe for coffee. She told me something you'd find interesting. Seems the Rev. Caldwell is off to other pastures. His wife took off with the opera singer that came through for the concert last week, you remember the tall guy with the thick black hair? Ethel And the preacher? Sarah It shook him up so much, he took off all his clothes at the baptism he was to do last night. I don't know who was more surprised, the little girl he was about to dunk or her parents. Then he started yelling about how much he hated opera. Ethel I bet. But you still haven't told me what happened to him after that. Sarah He took a swan dive right into the pool, splashed water all over the new organ and the organist. Sparks flew everywhere and poor Mrs. Johnson, the organist, got a real good dose of electricity. She looked like the bride of Frankenstein, her hair all frizzled and standing straing up. The deacons got him out of the pool, wrapped him up in his baptismal robe and got him to the church office. Doc Evans came over and wrote out papers to get him into the regional mental hospital. Last we heard, he was still hollering about opera and the Song of Solomon. Ethel How's Jessie Lou taking it? Sarah Fine. She wasn't all that taken with him, more with the notion that someone was paying her some attention. She said they never really got, you know, biblical, not like you and Edwin. Ethel Well, that's not going into anybody's book just yet. Anyway, I'm going to see him next week, in California. He got me tickets and all. Sarah, I think he's for real, in spite of what I did to him. Sarah I hope so. You're due a little fun. It's been awhile and you're too good a woman to stay all alone in this place. By the way, what's in the bag? (motions to a sack on the counter) Ethel Oh, those are wild hog plums. I got up early this morning and went out to the old farm road and picked them. Sarah Wild hog plums? What on earth for? Ethel A gift for someone who remembered the good times and the fact that sometimes the sweetest fruit is the wildest. (Curtain)